by t. h. snyder
“Oh, so she just moved in?” I ask.
“Umm, well not exactly. She actually moved in a few weeks ago, like the beginning of February.”
“WHAT!” I scream. “She moved in months ago and you’re just telling me now?”
“Relax Chloe, she’s just living there. It’s not like they are screwing each other. Not like it’s any of your business.”
I take in a deep breath and let it all out.
“I know I have no right to be freaking out like I am but it really sucks that a part of my life no longer exists. It still bothers me that we’re not together. I’ve been doing really good about not mentioning him to anyone and trying to forget. It’s just really hard Char.”
Tears start to flood my vision and I can barely see the wall in front of me. I miss him so damn much.
“Well since you’re already upset and crying I think I should mention one more detail.”
“Oh god, now what?” I say.
“Please don’t yell or scream in my ear again. I know for a fact that Derrick hasn’t started a serious relationship with anyone since you broke up, but he has been spending a lot of time with the one junior partner from the firm. I know it’s mainly for case purposes, but I thought you should know.”
My throat has completely closed up at this point and I can’t even utter a sound. I hit the end button on my phone and quick type a text to Char so she doesn’t go into panic mode and fly out here.
Chloe – Sorry, I’m fine…just can’t talk right now. I need some time to digest the fact that maybe he is moving on without me.
I toss the phone onto the couch and run into the bathroom. Spilling out my guts I cry into my toilet. This can’t be happening. I thought he was my forever. This is all my fault and I’ll never find my way back to him…no matter if I’m here in LA or back in Boston.
Fuck my life.
“I think we should celebrate!” Trisha shouts down the hallway as I come out of my office.
“Oh yeah, why is that?” I ask walking toward her.
“Well only because we have won the past five cases we worked on together.” She says with a wink.
“Okay then. I completely agree with your point. What do you have in mind?” I ask wanting her to decide what we do.
The past few weeks we’ve been working together here at the firm or at my house after hours. Together we’re a hard core team that seems to be quite invincible, but honestly that’s all it is for me. I can tell her feelings are getting more intense and at times things may have gotten a little heated for us. I also know that there’s no way I want to jeopardize my position at this firm for one night of sex.
“Why don’t you come to my place tonight? You and Emma have been such great hosts to me over the past few weeks. I think it’s only fair that I repay the favor.” Trisha inches her body closer to where I stand so that she can reach out and touch my tie. She runs the fine silk through her fingers tips and with her closeness I can smell her perfume. Trisha is an exceptionally attractive woman, but I have to draw the line with her advances.
“Look I would like to celebrate our winning streak with you, but going back to your place isn’t such a good idea.” I try to tell her taking her hand from my tie and placing it back to her side.
“Come on Derrick. I promise I’ll behave and we can make dinner together. No inappropriate actions on my part, I swear.” She says as she makes a cross against her right breast.
She watches me as she trails her finger over her body and I have to blink ten times to regain my train of thought. I’m horny as hell and in need of a good fuck, but not with her.
“Fine. As long as you keep your hands to yourself.”
She holds up her pinky and moves it closer to me. “Pinky swear.” She says.
I accept the gesture knowing very well she is standing in front of me with her ankles crossed. I laugh at her deceit and figure what the hell. Damn this woman is sly.
“Let me go get my things and I’ll meet you back out here in a few minutes.”
Walking toward my office, I shake my head at her actions. There’s no doubt in my mind that she is willing to take this relationship to a sexual level.
The image I now have in my mind is making it difficult to walk and I need to shut my door to adjust myself in my pants. My body is starving for the attention of a woman, but my heart is screaming at me to stop. I don’t know how long I can let this go on. I think about Chloe every day. There are so many times I want to pick up the phone and call her, tell her I love her and beg her to quit her career and come back to me. But I know none of that will ever happen. Maybe I need to move on…has she?
This whole situation sucks. Part of me wants to wait forever for the one girl I love and can never have again and the rest of me wants to fuck my partner into next year. I look out the window at my view from my office. Everything I have worked so hard for up to this point has been to make me and Chloe happy. Now that she’s gone I’m miserable. I know I’ll never get her back because she is not coming back here to live.
Does that mean that I need to cut the apron strings and bite the bullet with Trisha? Damn it to hell, I say fuck it I’ll see what happens. I’m a man in need of a good lay and I have a woman right here that is willing to give me just that.
That’s it decision made. I’m throwing all discretions out the window and letting this night take me where I should go…here’s to a night of celebration.
I pick up my stuff from my desk, shove it into my briefcase and walk out of my office closing the door behind me.
Trisha is standing by the elevators waiting for me with a grin on her face.
“Ready to go?” I ask.
“I was born ready to go.” She replies and gives me a wink.
Damn it, I’m in for trouble tonight.
I follow Trisha to her house going through all the reasons why I shouldn’t sleep with her and why I should. As a guy I feel like handing in my man card because as much as I need this as a release I also have two things that matter more than that…my job and my love.
We turn into a gated community and I see that she is telling the guy at the booth to allow me through as well. Driving past I give him a nod and follow her Mercedes around a bend and into a covered garage.
This place looks nice and it’s not that far from the city.
I take in a deep breath and tell myself I can do this, even though I have no clue what I’m about to do. Trisha walks over to the door of my BMW and I get out following her to her condo.
Her place is nice, from what I can see. She keeps things neat and in order which is just how I am too.
For dinner we decide to grill out some chicken and vegetables. While I get the grill and food ready, Trisha pours herself a glass of wine and opens me a beer. Once again we work in sync with one another and barely have to utter a word.
A few times I can feel her hand graze my arm, my back and even at one point I could swear her hand was on my ass. With all of her touching I don’t feel a spark, not a bolt of electricity or a hint of warmth when our bodies are close.
The weather is perfect outside so we choose to eat dinner out on her deck. After we’re finished we decide to clean up and have another drink inside.
Trisha excuses herself for a minute and I take a seat on her white leather couch, beer in hand. Closing my eyes I play back my thoughts from earlier today. The need I have to be with a woman again, the love I have in my heart for a girl I’ll never give it to and the concern that when I’m with Trisha I don’t feel the vibe I always did with Chloe.
I hear her coming back out to the living room and feel the dip of the couch as she sits next to me. I open my eyes and see her sitting next to me holding her glass of wine.
“You look beat.” She says in a soft voice.
“To tell you the truth I am. The past few weeks…no really months have been draining. I need a vacation from life for a bit.”
“Well I can’t help you with a real vacation, but I can help you relax.”
She purrs.
I scoot myself back into the couch to a taller seated position and she brings herself into my lap. Watching my reaction she brings her hands up to cup my face and slowly kisses my lips. My heart is pounding, my palms are sweating and the bulge in my pants is growing.
There’s no doubt in my mind that I’m attracted to this girl. I deepen the kiss and pull her face closer to mine. She lets out a moan and grinds down on my growing erection. I can feel her hot pussy through my dress pants and I want so badly to flip her on her back and fuck her senseless.
“Derrick.” She says breaking away from our kiss. “You have no idea how badly I want you right now. Please tell me you want me too.”
I look into her beautiful blue eyes. As much as I want to tell her yes I want you too, I can’t. This isn’t right. I have to stop this now. I’ve been playing a tug a war with my feelings about this for far too long and I have to put an end to this now.
“Trisha, you’re absolutely beautiful and if the rock hard cock in my pants is any indication of how turned on I am right now I would gladly take you back to your room. But, I can’t. What we’re doing is so wrong on so many levels. I’m sure I’ll punch myself for this another day, but we can’t do this. I’m sorry.”
She slides off of my lap and lays her head on my shoulder.
“You’re the first guy that has ever apologized for not wanting to sleep with me.” She says with a giggle. “That Chloe girl, better get her ass in gear fast. If not, soon I won’t take no for an answer.”
I laugh at her comment and swing my arm around her.
“You are amazing. Do you know that?” I ask.
“Yeah? Well if I was so amazing you wouldn’t have stopped us and we would be in my bedroom by now.”
“That’s not it Trisha and you know it. Yes Chloe is still a big part of me, but think about how things would be at work if we did sleep together and then things didn’t work out.”
“I guess you’re right. Thanks for being such a good guy, Derrick. Chloe is one lucky lady.” She says sitting up and walking toward her door.
I get up to follow her and pull her into a hug.
“I know this is lame to say, but we need to still be friends. You’re a rock solid partner and I don’t want to lose that.”
“No worries there Derrick, I’m all yours at the office.”
“Thanks Trisha, see you Monday.” I tell her and walk out to my car.
I feel the sun shining through my bedroom window and the heat of the blaze is blaring against my face. Slowly I open my eyes.
Damn it! I grab my head that has grown its own heartbeat and is currently too heavy to hold up.
The memories of last night come flooding back to me. How could I have done this? Why would I allow myself to go that far knowing the only person I could ever love is not here with me?
I made a mistake and now I have to live with the regret and the pain that it will cause knowing I’ll never be with Derrick again. Any chance I could have with him is gone, how will he ever trust me again? I know we are not together, but still my heart belongs to him…and only him.
Now awake, I sit up in my bed and toss my legs to the right. God I feel like shit, how much did I drink? How did I get home….oh no! Who brought me home?
I stand and stretch remembering exactly what happened last night. Oh shit, I’ll have to face him. I look around my room for a t-shirt and I see a pile of clothes lying on the floor.
Fucking hell Chloe, these are not your clothes. I sit back down on the bed wearing only a tank top and boy shorts clutching my head in my hands.
Damn it! How could I have been so weak?
I mean he’s extremely attractive, built like a fitness model, gorgeous bright green eyes that hide behind his rough exterior and dark…dark hair. Oh no I hung onto that hair like my life depended on it. Shit! Andrew Lock has been trying to get in my pants for over four months now and he almost had his chance last night.
It was all so wrong, it never should have happened. But it did and now I have to look him in those amazing green eyes soon, very soon.
I guess I could act like nothing happened. Can I? Will he?
With my eyes barely open I manage to make it into my bathroom to take a hot shower. I grab up my iPhone and listen to some music on my favorite Pandora channel hoping the music and the water will help me feel better I turn the temperature as hot as the pipes will allow. I take off my boy shorts and tank top and pull my hair down from my pony tail.
I step into the shower and emerge my entire body under the scolding hot water. It hurts so bad it feels good. A sound of relief moans past my lips as the pressure of my headache slowly releases. Reaching for the mango scented shampoo my body tenses as I feel a hand on my back and another closing the shower door.
My body turns to face a broad naked chest. I look up and see sparkling green eyes slowly being eaten away by black pupils screaming desire. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him so that we’re skin to skin. This is too much. I’ve never touched another man like this other than Derrick. It feels so wrong.
I begin to say something, but before I can say a word his lips crash down onto mine. His lips are just as soft as I remember them from last night. He tastes like coffee and vanilla. I’m so consumed in this moment with him that any other thought is slipping from my grasp. As much as I want to believe this is wrong, right now it feels so right.
Andrew pulls me in closer to him so that my nipples are hard against his body. I moan at the feel of his skin against mine and my mouth opens. He doesn’t take the invitation for granted and slides his tongue into my mouth. In this moment I throw out all morals and kiss him back. The feel of his mouth on mine and my tongue sliding against his is hypnotizing. I begin to lose my balance from my lack of control and he’s picking me right back up against him. I tie my hands around his neck and enjoy the ride of lust we’re traveling. His tongue leaves my mouth and begins to trail kisses along my jaw leading down to my collarbone.
Feelings I haven’t felt in too long begin to surface and my pussy aches for him to touch me more. His hands begin to roam from my mid back down to my hips. He squeezes the hot flesh of my ass and I let out a moan of pleasure.
I pull away from the kiss gasping for a breath. His green eyes stare into mine and I take a step back. He reaches his arm out to grab mine and the feel of his rough hands pulls me out of my trance. The calluses he has on his throwing hand and fingers remind me so much of Derrick’s when he played football in high school and college.
“Andrew we can’t, I can’t.” I say, trying to avoid eye contact.
He touches my chin with two fingers and angles my face so that I’m looking up into his eyes.
“Chloe, we can do this. You can do this. I’ve wanted you for far too long. It’s time to let go of the past and move forward with your life. Babe, I can be here for you.”
Andrew says this with all the sincerity he can muster. I look up into his eyes. Between the pelting hot water and the heat looming between us my body and mind are taken into another world. As much as I love Derrick and wish things were different, Andrew is right. He is the one that is here for me right now. His body is the one that is touching mine.
I need to feel the way Andrew makes me feel. Derrick hasn’t touched me, cared for me or loved me for months. Andrew is right, I need to let go of the past and move forward.
I can do this.
I want to do this.
“Oh god Andrew. You make me feel things that…”
He stops me right there and grab me up into his arms. Smashing his lips against mine our tongues join together in such an intimate way. I may not be able to have sex with this man right now, but I sure as hell want him to touch me.
“Please Andrew.” I pant.
“I know babe, let me make you feel good.”
He turns off the water and lifts me from the shower carrying me into my room. I can feel his hard erection pressing against my bottom and I’m getting wetter by the
minute.
Andrew lays me down on the bed and my wet hair clings to my back. He takes his hands and runs his fingers from the top of my collar bone down to my toned stomach. The feel of his touch is creating goose bumps wherever he leaves a finger print.
Watching as his body is hovering over mine, I tremble with anticipation.
His lips and hands are all over my body. I look down and watch as he kisses each nipple taking them one at a time in his mouth. As he sucks and licks my breast the ache in my core increases. I can tell he is aroused as well and I feel the need to touch him.
As I stretch my arm to reach down for his length my phone begins to ring. I’m pulled out of my moment of lust and look down into his eyes.
Do I get up and answer the call? Do I ignore it and continue along with our moment of foreplay?
I choose the latter choice and reach to touch him again. This time it’s not my cell that starts to ring, but my iPad chiming with an incoming Skype call.
Knowing there are only two people that have ever used Skype with me, I push Andrew away and lift my body into a seated position.
“I’m sorry, but I have to get this. It’s an emergency if the call is coming through here.”
“I understand, get to it.” He says rubbing my arm.
I run into the bathroom and scoop up my robe, quickly putting it on I tie the strings in a knot. I make my way back out to my bedroom and grab the iPad moving into the living room for some privacy.
The Skype call was coming from Derrick’s cell. I push the return call button and within on a few short rings I see his face.
“Derrick.” I say barely in a whisper.
“Chloe, I’m sorry I’m calling you like this but you didn’t answer the call I made to your cell.” His voice is hoarse as if he is upset.
