by Abbi Glines
His warm mouth pressed a kiss to my neck and I shivered underneath him. “Don’t,” he demanded in a hard whisper. I stilled, instantly worried I’d done something else wrong.
We lay there for a few more minutes in silence and my concern began to grow.
Finally, he slowly lifted his head then let go of his death grip on the sleeping bag and pushed himself up off me careful not to put any pressure between my legs. Humiliation washed over me when I saw him reach for my tank top. Without saying anything, I let him put it on me. He pulled it down over my bare chest and stomach then quickly let go of it and sat back on his sleeping bag. I’d done something wrong. My stomach felt sick.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Sawyer lifted his head so he was looking in my direction but I didn’t meet his gaze. I couldn’t.
“What?” he asked in a deep husky voice I’d never heard him use.
Covering my face with my hands so he couldn’t see the tears welling up in my eyes, I replied, “I don’t know why I did that. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—”
Sawyer was in front of me pulling my hands away from my face and forcing me to look at him. “You’re sorry? Lana, do you understand anything that just happened?”
I shrugged then shook my head no.
Sawyer let out a small laugh and reached to pull me into his lap. “That was the single most incredible moment of my life. Don’t be sorry for it. Please,” he said in the same low sexy tone he’d used before.
I studied him a moment. “But... I don’t understand.”
Sawyer leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose then kissed each of my eyelids. “Let me explain it to you then. I just had a beautiful girl trust me enough to touch her and see her in a way no one else ever has. I got to hold her and watch her and feel her as she came apart in my arms. It was like nothing else I’d ever experienced. She was breathtaking and she was responding to me. She wanted me. I was the one making her spiral out of control.”
Oh. But.... “But you acted tense or angry when I reacted that way and moved away from me like you didn’t want to be near me anymore.”
Sawyer chuckled, “Lana, I was using every amount of self-control I could find to keep from pulling off those shorts of yours and going somewhere neither of us are ready to go. For a moment there, all I saw was red-hot need and I came real close to taking it. What you thought was anger was me forcing myself to calm the fuck down.”
The hardness I could still feel under my butt as I sat in his lap told me he hadn’t exactly calmed all the way down.
“But you’re still—” I trailed off and a crooked grin appeared on his face.
“Yeah, well, I doubt I’ll get rid of that without a really cold shower which I think I may need to go take in a minute.”
Oh, wow. I knew enough to know a guy could go through a lot of pain if a girl worked him up enough and he didn’t... get his release. The ache had gotten so intense before I’d broken into a million pieces. I couldn’t imagine being forced to stay in that state with no end. He’d held me while I found my release.
“I could... help,” I offered quietly and Sawyer’s body went rigid at my words.
“What?”
“I could help with your um... need for release. I mean it is my fault you’re like this. I could... I mean, I want to help.”
“Ah, shit,” he muttered, covering his face with his hand and rubbing it hard. “Lana, you can’t say things like that to me right now.”
“Why?”
“Because it only makes me hurt worse thinking about it.”
Crawling off his lap, I didn’t raise my eyes to see what his reaction was. Instead, I took a deep breath and reached for the button of his shorts. His hand grabbed mine, “Oh no. I’m not letting you do that.”
“I want to.”
Sawyer shook his head, “No, Lana. I’ll go up to the bath house and fix this.”
Shoving his hand away with more strength than was required, I continued to undo his shorts.
“Ohgod,” he groaned as I pulled them down. He lifted his hips so I could pull them down far enough down his hips. I was on a major power trip. Seeing Sawyer Vincent completely fascinated with everything I was doing was sexy, not to mention fun.
I pushed the nervous, reserved Lana who was screaming in my head that I could not touch a boy there, far away. I reached into his boxers and my hands felt his warm, silky erection.
“Holy shit,” Sawyer exhaled in a deep voice that sent shivers through me.
Sawyer
I opened my eyes as the warmth of the early morning rays hit the tent. Last night’s events slowly washed over me and the body I had pressed up against me made me smile. Lana McDaniel had rocked my world last night. When she’d come in my arms, I was pretty damn sure nothing could ever be that hot. But then, the expression of awe on her face with her mouth slightly open in wonder as she gently used her innocent ministrations to give me my release had been the absolute sexiest thing I’d ever seen.
Pulling her tighter against my chest, I inhaled the sweet, subtle scent of her shampoo and closed my eyes.
“Good morning,” she said groggily as she rolled over in my arms until she was facing me. The shy smile on her face said she knew that she’d made me a very happy man last night.
“Mornin’” I murmured before softly kissing her mouth.
She backed away and covered her mouth to keep me from doing anything more.
“Morning breath. I need to brush my teeth,” she explained as she kept her hand over her mouth.
“I’m sure it smells as sweet as the rest of you,” I assured her, ducking my head and kissing her neck before sniffing her skin loud enough to make her giggle. I wasn’t one for giggling but that giggle was sexy and rare. I liked it. A lot.
“Get up; we got a waterfall to find. It’s gonna be hot as hell in a few hours and we need to be close to the cold water to cool off when it hits.” Jake’s voice boomed over the campsite.
Lana pushed away from me and sat up. I rolled over on my back and watched her as she gathered her supplies to get ready.
She flashed a smile back at me as she reached for the zipper of the tent. I noticed her discarded bra from last night and I sat up and grabbed her arm.
“You can’t go out there like that,” I said in a more demanding voice than I’d intended. The idea of Jake or anyone else seeing her braless in that skimpy little top sent a possessive jolt through me. No way in hell.
“Like what?” She frowned, staring down at my hand on her arm.
I picked up her bra and dangled it in front of her. “You need to put this on.”
She held up the clothes in her arms, “I’m putting on my swimsuit under my clothes. I don’t need my bra today.”
“Uh, yeah you do. You’re not walking out of this tent with your tits only covered up by that thin piece of cotton.”
A smile tugged on her lips and she snatched the bra out of my hands.
Chapter Fifteen
The waterfall was only a five-mile hike, which was a good thing because if I’d had to hear Heidi complain one more minute, I was going to lose it.
I searched for Lana and found her sitting out on a rock across the water beside Ashton. I stood there and watched them. Ashton’s laughter always made me smile. Hearing it ring out over the water as she talked happily with Lana made things feel right. Ashton had held my heart for so long that even after her betrayal I’d have taken her back without question if she’d asked. As much as I loved my brother, I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t still. My eyes shifted to Lana who was talking now. Her happy expression made me feel like a king. She’d been in an excellent mood all morning. Knowing it was because of me was nice. The memory of Lana’s touch last night far exceeded anything I’d ever experienced with Ashton. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
Ashton had owned me. I’d have moved heaven and earth to make her happy. It was different with Lana. I enjoyed her company and being with her was exhilarating. But I knew wh
at love felt like and what I was feeling for Lana wasn’t even close. It was more intense but only physically. The idea of leaving her in August didn’t ache the way it did when I thought of Ash being so far away.
“She’s one hot piece of ass. If you get bored and want to trade tent buddies just let me know.” I jerked my head to glare at Jake as he stood smirking with his attention focused on Lana.
“What did you just say?” I demanded, towering over Jake by only a few inches. I fisted both my hands prepared to knock him on his ass if he dared repeat his crude comment.
“Whoa Saw, calm down bud. You do realize I wasn’t talking about Ash, don’t you?” Jake held up both his hands and backed away from me. “I know who you were talking about and I suggest you take your perverted eyes off her. She isn’t up for grabs.”
“Well, well, well, what the hell did you do Jake? Not sure I’ve ever seen Sawyer so ready to pummel someone other than me before,” Beau drawled in a lazy amused tone.
“Shut up Beau,” I snapped not looking back at him.
“I don’t know. He’s gone apeshit. I just made a comment about Lana. Last time he talked about her she was just a fucking ‘distraction’. I didn’t know he would go all territorial,” Jake replied, glancing over my shoulder toward my brother. I could see the request for backup in his eyes and it only pissed me off more.
“He’s right bro. Back off. You’ve been referring to Lana as a distraction for over a week. If you’ve gone and changed your mind then you might want to let everyone know.”
I hated it when Beau had a valid point. He was the Neanderthal. Not me. He wasn’t supposed to make sense. Jerking my shirt over my head, I threw it on the rocky ground and dove into the water. I needed to be near Lana. That was the only thing that was going to calm down the violent storm inside me.
Lana
I wanted a shower before I crashed. I was exhausted. Today had been a blast but between the heat, swimming and hiking I could hardly keep my eyes open. I plugged up my phone on the small ledge over the sink in the bathhouse and went to get cleaned up. Ash had said her head hurt and she wanted to lay down a few minutes before coming to take a shower. Heidi and Kayla both said they were too tired to walk up here and shower, which I thought was gross. They decided the water at the falls was enough of a bath for them.
I’d sweated on our hike back and I knew they had too but it wasn’t my business. If they wanted to go to bed nasty, then so be it. Walking up here alone with the bears, snakes and psycho chainsaw men had taken a great deal of bravery on my part.
I was also anxious to get back to Sawyer. The hope that we might have a night similar to last night had been at the forefront of my thoughts all day. Ashton had mentioned my silly smile and I’d been vague with my reply as to why I was so giddy. Anyway, I was pretty sure she knew exactly why.
After finishing my shower, I dried off and slipped on my tank top without a bra this time and the pink striped boxer shorts I’d brought to sleep in. It was dark and I had to carry my supplies and dirty clothes back with me. I could hold those in front of my shirt. Sawyer would never notice I’d gone braless outside of the tent. His possessive reaction to my walking out of the tent without one this morning had surprised me. No one had ever been possessive of me. Maybe the healthy response would’ve been to stand my ground and force him to accept I was my own person. But I didn’t. I wanted to be wanted.
Picking up my phone, I noticed all the missed calls and text messages. Sighing, I scrolled through them and saw my dad had called twice. My mother had called fifteen times and then they’d both left several text messages. I needed to call one of them back. Mom would keep me on the phone forever and I really wanted to get to that tent.
So, I tapped my dad’s name and waited as the phone rang.
“Finally. Is there no reception up there? I’ve called you several times.”
“Hi, Daddy. Sorry, but yes, the reception is shoddy up here.”
“I’m glad you finally got my messages and called. I need to talk to you about the wedding. There’s been a change of plans.”
“Okay—”
“Shandra’s grandmother lives on the coast in South Carolina. She’s wealthy and her home is a historical landmark. She has offered it to Shandra to use for the wedding. Since Shandra can’t have her Christmas wedding in New York she’s decided a summer wedding on the coast would be more fitting. I want this perfect for her. Special, ya know?” he paused waiting on a response from me.
I didn’t respond.
“You still there?”
“Yes Daddy, I’m listening.”
“Oh, okay, good. This is going to cost a good bit more than originally planned. Also, family members that her grandmother insisted should attend are flying in from all over. The house is going to be packed.”
Still not sure what it was he wanted to tell me other than share his wedding plans, which I did not think was a very urgent matter, I waited.
“There just isn’t room for you at the house. I can’t very well make Shandra’s grandmother give you a room when she’s being so generous already. Plus, the cost of travel is really making my budget tight. Flying you out and paying for your hotel room just isn’t possible. I mean, I want you there but I just don’t see how I can afford to get you there.”
I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes. Tears welled up in my eyes and I wiped at them furiously. I would not cry over this. I would not.
“Okay. Alright,” I managed through my clogged throat.
“So you understand, right?”
He was spending all his money on a wedding to a girl he was about to start a brand new family with. He couldn’t manage to find money to fly the daughter he already had out to be with him for his big day. As much as it hurt, this was something I could live with. I knew though, the reality of what he was telling me was so much more.
A new wife, a new house, a big wedding, a new baby... my dad wasn’t going to help me with college. I didn’t even have the courage to ask anymore. If I had to be disappointed and let down by him one more time, I wasn’t sure I could deal.
“Lana?”
“Yeah, okay Daddy. I understand.”
“I knew you would. Shandra is very worried this will upset you. I told her you were nothing like Caroline and this wouldn’t be a big deal for you.”
“I need to go. I don’t want to use up all my battery.”
“Right, of course. Well, have fun and enjoy your summer. Maybe I can make it out to see you this fall. Which college did you finally decide on?”
I’d be going to the local junior college. My dad had a new family.
“I gotta go Daddy,” I replied and clicked end.
The tears trickled down my face and I felt my hardened resolve not to let my dad or my mother hurt me anymore melt away. How much was I supposed to take before I crumbled? Holding all this in was eating me alive. I needed someone to listen to me. Someone to hold me while I cried. I just needed someone to care about me. Not themselves. For once, I needed it to be about me.... I needed Sawyer. I splashed water on my face and dried off all the tears. I didn’t want to answer any questions on my way to find him. He was the only one I wanted to talk to about this.
Grabbing my bag, I tucked my phone inside and headed out the door. He’d be waiting on me. He’d listen. Just as I stepped onto the path leading down to our campsite, Sawyer came barreling toward me. Relief washed over me the moment I saw him. But it was short lived. The serious expression on his face surprised me.
“Sawyer,” I began and he rushed past me toward the bathhouse.
“I don’t have time right now, Lana,” he called back at me.
Stunned, I stood there frozen in my spot.
Within seconds, he was running back out of the bathhouse with a dripping wet rag in his hand. A determined set to his jaw. His eyes flicked past me. As he rushed by, I reached out and grabbed his arm. He was starting to scare me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked
�
��Lana let go. I can’t talk to you right now. Ash needs me.”
As his words registered in my head, I snatched my hand away from him. He didn’t offer an explanation or apology. Instead, he ran off leaving me standing there alone. My emotions were already in tatters so I tried to reason that something must really be wrong with Ashton. Panic sent me running after him.
I stopped the moment I saw Sawyer bend down behind Ashton and gently pull her hair back. She was sick. Sawyer wiped her mouth and then folded the rag carefully and began washing her pale face.
“I got you Ash. It’s okay,” he murmured as she laid her head against his chest weakly.
Jealousy washed over me like a tidal wave, even though I knew she was sick. I didn’t like seeing him so sweet and protective of her. Taking a step forward I asked, “Ash, you okay?”
Sawyer’s head snapped up but I didn’t meet his gaze. I wasn’t sure I could. She raised her head and let out a sigh. “I’ve got a migraine. Too much sun but Beau took the car to the nearest store to get me some pain medicine.”
“Can I do anything?” I asked. “I’ve got her, Lana. You can go on to the tent,” Sawyer’s demanding voice sliced through my already broken spirit. I couldn’t stand here and watch this. Ash was sick but she was in good hands. The Vincent boys were taking care of her.
“Okay,” I managed to respond and turned to walk toward the tent. Standing outside of it, I hated the idea of going inside. The memories from last night were in there. I needed to forget those memories. My life was out of control enough. I didn’t need Sawyer Vincent’s help to break my heart. My dad was doing a fine job all on his own. I’d loved two men in my life and I’d not been enough for either of them. I would never be their first choice.
A fresh tear rolled down my face. Before anyone could see me cry, I opened the tent and crawled inside. Moving my sleeping bag back to the far corner of the tent as far away from Sawyer’s as possible, I curled up inside of it and cried. I cried because my dad hadn’t wanted me. I cried because my dreams of college had slipped through my fingers and I cried because I’d let myself believe Sawyer could possibly fall in love with me.
