by L A Pepper
I tried to smile for him. “I got none of those fancy appetizers.”
His face crumpled. If there was something more stunning than his ice blue eyes piercing my soul, then it would be them filling with tears and love and melting for me. “Oh, sweetheart. Honey.” He set me down on the bed, rumpled and unmade as usual, then tucked a curl behind my ear. “I brought you a whole tray of appetizers. Two. One of savory. One of sweets.”
I laughed, because. “You did?” It was impossible. He brought me the one thing I’d wanted from that stupid party. Food. Two things. Food. And him.
He laughed back. “I did. There were so many leftovers. She yelled. I yelled. We made a scene. Everybody was too busy watching to eat. And then when Brigitte finally stormed out, everyone left so they could go talk about us. And you never got to have any. So I brought them for you.”
“How did you know I didn’t get any?” He was so thoughtful.
“Do you honestly think my eyes weren’t glued to you from the moment you came down stairs, Hannah? I could barely stay away from you the whole time. You were right. I was the one who wouldn’t have been able to keep my hands off of you. It’s a miracle I talked to anyone at all because all I wanted to do the whole night was run to you and keep you with me and claim you as mine.”
“You’re infatuated, James. It’s not real.” Brigitte LaFontaine made me realize how real it wasn’t. “You’re just on the rebound.” I fought the tears that started to rise.
He growled. “Damn you, Hannah. I didn’t love her. I love you.”
“James,” I reached up because I couldn’t stop myself from touching him.
He shook his head. “No more talking. It was a terrible night. I’m sorry I put you through that. Just let me sleep with you.”
“I don’t think we should, James, not after that. We should get our heads on straight. This is going way too fast and we’re getting in too deep.”
“Hannah.” His voice broke, desperate. “Don’t— don’t send me away. I just need to be with you. Just sleep. Please.”
I stopped and leaned up on my elbows to look at him. He was not okay. I’d been thinking about how perfect she seemed and how pitiful I was, but of all people, I should know that just because a person or a couple looked perfect on the outside it didn’t mean that they weren’t a pit of darkness on the inside. “Oh,” I breathed. “Oh.” I reached out for him. He shucked off his shoes, his pants, and his soft dress shirt and I lifted the covers for him. He slid in with me curling around my back like he was protecting me. I turned in his arms so I could hug him back.
“You’re okay,” I whispered into his ear. “I’m here. We’ll be okay.”
“I won’t let anyone hurt you, Hannah, do you believe me?”
I nodded, I believed he would try, that he meant it. I just wasn’t sure if it was as easy as all that.
Chapter Seven
It was not okay.
I’d spent the day with various lawyers, managers and public relations specialists. Brigitte had done a number on us, but I had dirt on her that I’d been saving because I had not trusted her. It had all gone too easily, this divorce, and nothing with Brigitte was ever easy. She was the definition of high maintenance. I still hadn’t gotten to the root of where she’d gotten her information, but Bette was in the garden, making her own calls. Neither of us were going to let Brigitte hurt Hannah, and it was clear that’s what her intention was, and through Hannah, get revenge on me and get some good publicity for herself.
Hannah had been nervous after all the drama from the night before, but she had a job to do. I could see her unease, her tension tightening her body. I watched as she tried to hide while standing there in front of me. She dressed in sweats and her dog walking windbreaker, as shapeless as could be. She braided her hair and tucked it into a baseball hat. She was almost unrecognizable from the sexy, sultry girl from the party, all bare skin and curves and glorious hair. I pulled the brim of her hat down lower over her eyes so no one could see the gorgeous green and bent to kiss her full lips. She chewed the corner of her mouth when I was done.
“I’ll be fine,” she said and squared her shoulders, taking the dogs leashes in hand and heading out the door.
Bette and I tried to unravel the mess that was about to come down on us. I didn’t know how long I’d been talking to my lawyer before I noticed all the barking. It was outside, so it might have been going on for a while, but then the door opened and it was inside. Loud and overbearing and scaring me to death.
“I’ve got to go,” I told my lawyer and hung up before he could demand an explanation. I didn’t have one. I stormed down stairs to find Hannah gasping as she slammed the door behind her. She pressed her back up against it, a pack of dogs at her feet, barking and barking and barking.
Her olive face was pale and her pupils were tiny pinpricks in the whites of her eyes. She turned around and locked the door. Locked all the locks. She went through the process again to make sure they were locked.
I waded through the dogs, big and small, to get to her. “Hannah, Hannah, what happened?”
“The dogs didn’t like her,” she said, and blinked up at me.
“What?” The dogs were still barking like mad and I could barely think. “Sit!” I commanded, surprised when the whole pack did just that. Back to Hannah. “The dogs didn’t like who?”
“Brigitte.” Her eyes turned to me but I wasn’t sure if she was really seeing me.
“What did she do?” She had promised to leave us alone, but she’d lied. She’d come after Hannah. Alone. That bitch.
“I was just taking them to the dog park, and she stopped me.” Hannah looked smaller than she normally did and a lock of hair had pulled out of her braid to frizz down the side of her face. “There were so many people. I don’t know where they all came from. There aren’t usually so many people on that street and they were all staring at me. She said I attacked her.”
“She said what?” I took her arms, tried to get her to look at me but her eyes didn’t seem to be able to focus on me.
“The dogs. They didn’t like her. They were growling at her but I know it was just because she was saying such ugly things to me. They were protecting me. And I was scared.”
“Oh sweetheart,” I enfolded her in my arms and felt her trembling. This was more than just Brigitte. I knew. This was what Bette had warned me about. This was the hurt. “I didn’t mean to do this to you.”
“It wasn’t you, James. It was me. I should never have tried…”
“Dammit, no. You’re innocent in all of this. You are just caught up in my drama with my self centered ex. She’s coming after you because she can get to me through you.”
“Because I’m weak.”
“No. You’re not. It’s because I care about you and that means you’re my weakness. You’re brilliant and strong and beautiful.” I held her tighter. “Bette!” I yelled. How had she not heard all the dogs and come running? “Bette! Get in here!” The French doors opened and closed. I felt Bette come up behind me, even though I didn’t turn to look. I thought that if I let go of Hannah’s attention she might just disappear.
“What happened?” Bette asked.
“It’s Brigitte. She went after Hannah while she was walking the dogs.”
Bette looked at the pack and grew grim. She took the leashes from Hannah, released Andromeda and Cassiopeia to go to their beds and allowed me to put an arm around Hannah without nearly a dozen canines tripping me up.
“Tell me what Brigitte said, Hannah.” I took her into the living room and sat on the couch with her. She huddled into me.
“I don’t know. Probably what she said last night, but she wanted to say it to me. With cameras around. She called me a homewrecker. And a dog walker. As if those were the same thing.” She giggled. “And the dogs did NOT like her. They growled at her. I had to hold them back. They did not like her. She said I set the dogs on her.” She turned her green eyes on me and they were pale, leached of vibrancy. “I s
wear, I was trying to keep them off of her. But they were pulling.”
“That bitch!” Bette spat. “I hope Cassie and Andy bit her.”
“No! I’d never let them.”
“You should have,” Bette said. “I’d pay for the lawyer.”
“You’re disinherited, Bette, you have no money.”
Bette glared at me. “You’d pay for the lawyer.”
Hannah giggled again and there was a hysterical edge to it.
“Do you need anything sweetheart?”
“I need to take the dogs to the dog park so they can run around.”
I laughed. “Not in a million years am I letting you out there with Brigitte trying to trap you for some sort of gossip narrative where she’s the innocent and you’re the evil attack dog pack leader.”
“They followed me.”
“Who followed you?”
“I don’t know. The men with the cameras.”
“You’re not going out there.”
“I have to take the dogs home.”
“Bette will take the dogs home, but first she’ll get you something to drink.”
Bette didn’t even hesitate. “I’ll take care of everything. What would you like, darling? A martini?”
“Tequila,” Hannah said. “Give me a shot of tequila.”
“I’ll be back,” I said, while Bette took care of Hannah, because I knew that what Brigitte really wanted was not Hannah at all, it was me. That was what this was all about in the first place and what it had always been about. Brigitte didn’t care about Hannah at all. Brigitte never cared about anything but herself. And she would be out there waiting for me, knowing that I’d come for her.
I unlocked the door and walked down the steps of the brownstone to the limo waiting right outside. Brigitte rolled down her window, the mirrors of her huge sunglasses showing my own enraged reflection.
“Get in,” she said. “We need to talk.”
“No. That’s not going to happen. You and I are done, and you are not to come anywhere near Hannah from now on. Not you. Not your hired photographers. Not your private eyes.”
“Get in, James. There are people listening.”
“Not my problem, Brigitte. I did nothing wrong. We’re divorced. Hannah, for certain did nothing wrong. I ran into her again after ten years when I came back to New York. She is utterly innocent. And she certainly didn’t attack you. You can’t make up a story like that. We have plenty of evidence. And you know it. After our divorce was finalized, I came home, and here she was, and I fell in love with her. That’s all. Bad timing, but innocent.”
“Impossible. It was not even a week.. You couldn’t go from me to her that fast.”
“We haven’t been together in months, Brigitte, and if you want to pursue this vendetta and say I cheated on you, which I didn’t, so you have no proof of it, then I think I should tell you that I had my own private detectives following you, and I have evidence that you cheated months ago. Six weeks after the wedding. I supposed the vows didn’t mean anything to you. I wasn’t even that disappointed, to tell you the truth, I always had the feeling that you were in our marriage for the boost to your career but you had me going for a while. I guess the director you slept with was more convenient?.”
Her beautiful face remained beautiful and unmoving behind the shield of her sunglasses. If she ever had cared for me, I couldn’t tell. She pursed her lips slowly. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because I didn’t care. I should have, but I didn’t, and that was when I realized this marriage was not going to work out. That’s not what a marriage should be. I should have cared, and I didn’t. I didn’t say anything because you didn’t resist the divorce. I mean you tried to manipulate me for your career, because we all know that’s all you care about, but if you insist on this character assassination of Hannah, then I will say something. To everyone, including your beloved media. I didn’t cheat on you. It was the reverse. You broke up the golden couple. Now I get to manipulate the story. Leave us alone, or I release the photos to the press. And they find out that you got your latest role in the blockbuster franchise by sleeping with the director.”
“You can’t.” And there was the response. Her porcelain skin went pale. What she really cared about.
“My reputation and your career. Those are at risk. Which is it? You can keep them both safe, or neither.”
She tilted her chin, and the sunglasses glinted the day light back at me. She looked away. It was a sign that I had won but she wouldn’t admit it.
I nodded. “My lawyer will call you to make sure you understand my terms. We’ve been working on them all morning. I’m sure you will find them not at all satisfactory, but you’ll go by them, anyway.”
She didn’t respond. Her window rolled up, the shaded glass erasing her from my life. I smiled into the window.
I turned back to the brownstone and took a deep breath. We could fix this. I could get my life back. I could have Hannah. She could be free. It would all work out.
By the time I got back inside, I didn’t know how many shots of tequila Bette had plied Hannah with, but the dogs were sitting on their haunches looking up at her adoringly, and Hannah was leaning on Bette’s shoulder shaking with laughter.
“Oh good, there you are. I’m taking these dogs to their houses.” She held up Hannah’s key chain. “I can’t believe I have to wear a windbreaker.”
“You don’t HAVE to,” Hannah said, a grin on her lips but not in her eyes.
“I do. It is part of the honor of the dog walker.”
“It is not.” She laughed, but the laugh broke into tears. I fell onto the couch next to her.
“Sweetheart, no.” I took her into my arms and she sniffled into my shirt.
“I’m a mess.”
“I don’t mind. You’re so cute. I love your mess.”
“Liar.” She sniffled again.
Bette stared at me, her lips pressed tight together. “I told you I wasn’t going to let you hurt her..”
Anger flashed in me. “I didn’t do this. It wasn’t me. I’m not going to hurt her! How could you think I would?”
“Sometimes it’s not about you, James Silver.”
Then Bette— in a windbreaker— left, with nine not very well-behaved dogs.
“This is terrible, James. Oh. I knew it was too soon. I knew you were just divorced.” Hannah huddled into me her voice weak. “We never should have let this get so far.”
“Yes we should have, sweetheart. The problem is Brigitte and her need for attention. We’re fine. We’re great. We’re happy. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before.”
“It can’t be real. It’s too soon.”
“Why? We made each other who we are way back when we were just teenagers. That’s not soon at all. It’s been years coming.”
“Maybe. But you became this wonderful man, and I lost who I was.”
“No sweetheart, that’s not true. I’m not that great and you, you are this radiant being. Who you are beams from your every molecule. Maybe you can’t see it yet. Maybe things didn’t turn out how you thought they would, I know your ex-husband scarred you, made you lose your belief in yourself, but I see you. You’re not gone. You’re right here.”
“You almost make me believe.” She set her hand to my cheek and tears came to her eyes but didn’t fall.
“You should believe. Believe me. I know who you are. We were each other’s first relationship with the opposite sex.” I was trying to get her to smile again.
She shook her head. “Liar. You had plenty of girls. And we were never in a relationship.”
“Those girls weren’t real relationships, I see that now. What you and I had? That was a relationship all right. I compared every girl I met to you.” I shifted, pulled her into my lap and she came, her hands roamed my shoulders and chest. I know she wanted me, wanted to believe me, wanted to believe in us.
“As in what not to do, James. I was the example of the worst of everything.”
“That is not true. You drove me nuts because you did the opposite of what I expected you to do. And I loved it. I hated it too.”
“And all you were to me was a fantasy. Just like you’re a fantasy now, that I was stupid enough to believe I could have.”
“I’m not a fantasy. I’m real. No one else knows me like you do, Hannah.”
“Oh, James, I wish…” she started and trailed off. She was trembling.
Everything would be okay, I truly believed, but she was not okay right now. I stood up and held a hand out to her. “Come on, let me just hold you for a bit. We’ll make the world go away, just for a bit.” She put her hand in mine and let me lead her to my room, stripping out of her sweats and t-shirt without even looking at me, before sliding underneath the blankets.
I climbed in behind her. “Sweetheart, she’ll never bother you again. Don’t you worry. I have dirt on her and I threatened to use it. I tried to be the better person, but she hurt you. And I won’t let her.”
“You’ll try,” she said, without turning. “But…” she shrugged and went silent.
I pulled her into my chest, and we lay there for a while. “What did he do to you, Hannah, to make you stop believing you deserve to be treated well? Because the girl I knew, she demanded it.”
She shook her head. “Nothing.”
“I don’t believe you. This isn’t nothing. And it’s not Brigitte, either. Brigitte is a shallow, vindictive person. You would have laughed her off before.”
“He didn’t do anything, James. Never anything big. He didn’t hit me or beat me or starve me. Anything I explain will sound like nothing. Every day it was nothing, more nothing, nothing with anger and nothing with disdain, and soon that’s all I was.” She curled in on herself, “Nothing.”
I took the pony tail holder out of her hair and ran my fingers through it, brushing it back from her neck. She breathed in raggedly.
“Just because he didn’t hit you didn’t mean he didn’t do anything to you. He did I can see.”
“I was nothing. He convinced me.”
