There was only one thing for it.
She grabbed the pocket of a passing waiter. He stopped and looked at her with disdain. ‘Yes?’
‘Vodka,’ she demanded. ‘Immediately.’
CHAPTER
8
Anna twisted the key in the ignition and the throbbing engine of her Italian sports car rumbled to a stop. She gripped the leather steering wheel so tight she could feel the muscles in her fingers pull and stretch and her nails dig into her palm. She needed to think but within a few moments the heat of the sun had transformed the car interior into a mobile sauna, so she powered down a window to let the fresh air in.
With a weary sigh, Anna took in the view across the esplanade to the low, shrubbed dunes, to the wide flat beach and the blue, blue ocean of Middle Point.
A breeze off the water found her through the car window and fluttered her long hair, tickling it across her cheeks. Anna laid her head back against the leather car seat, closed her eyes, inhaling and exhaling deeply and rhythmically. Her chest rose and fell against the tightness of the seat belt, and when it felt more like strangulation than safety, she unclipped it. She wanted desperately to breathe again, to open her lungs to the fresh air, to flush out what she’d been hiding. The secret she’d been holding in like a terrified breath.
Anna let the crash and roar of the waves wash over her. Somewhere close by, a magpie trilled. A car drove past, its engine noise eventually fading into the distance.
Anna felt a familiar prickle in the back of her eyes and dropped her head onto her gripped hands, still clinging on to the steering wheel for dear life. What was she doing here?
It was mid-afternoon, Saturday. She’d been at the surgery from eight o’clock in the morning and had seen a steady stream of patients until 12.30. She’d been due to meet Alex at the house – her house now – at one o’clock. Her plan was to be there long enough to escort him in to collect his precious things and then leave. She couldn’t be there for the dissection of their life together, didn’t want to watch bits and pieces of her marriage carried out the door by strangers.
Instead, she’d jumped in her car and started driving. She’d flown past her parents’ house, just around the corner from her own. Noted the turn-off to Grace’s from busy North East Road, but still she didn’t stop. She imagined she might stop on The Parade at Norwood for a coffee but she couldn’t find a park on the tree-lined, cosmopolitan strip. And then she was on Luca’s street in the city, but kept driving. She still couldn’t face them.
So Anna had kept going, with Pink’s latest album playing so loud she could barely hear the rev of the engine; through the crisp, desiccated lawns of the southern suburbs, onto the southern expressway, past thousands of rows of grapes in McLaren Vale in full leaf, up the sweep of road past Willunga, into the hills again and finally, to the beach.
To Middle Point.
To a place where she didn’t feel trapped in the space between her old life and what might come next. To a place where her friends already knew about her and Alex, where she didn’t have to conceal the truth. Except the part about her visit to Slutsville, of course. She hoped Joe had kept quiet about it. He’d promised he could keep a secret, hadn’t he? Anna held her St Christopher’s medal tightly between her fingers. For protection on her journey. For luck. For help. For advice. For times of crisis.
‘Anna?’
Anna jumped in her seat. She dropped the medal and it fell on its chain, finding its familiar place between the curve of her breasts.
‘Lizzie?’ Anna lifted her sunglasses.
Lizzie crouched down to talk to Anna through the open window. Her blonde hair and blue eyes shone.
‘Hey Anna! I thought it was you. Your car stands out like a spare you-know-what at a wedding. What are you doing in Middle Point?’ Lizzie’s beaming smile could guide ships home in a storm, Anna thought. Which is exactly what she’d done for Dan.
‘I was just out for a drive.’ A drive that happened to be eighty kilometres from home. If Lizzie had any questions about her story, she didn’t ask them.
Lizzie opened the car door and waved to Anna to step out. Anna hesitated.
‘Come in, Anna. Dan’s inside and we’ve just opened a bottle of wine. Isn’t it a gorgeous day? I hope you brought your bikini.’
Anna reached for her handbag and stepped on to the road.
‘God, it’s great to see you!’ Lizzie hugged her and held it longer than a mere acquaintance might. Anna felt herself relax a little. Lizzie had become an instant friend when she’d rescued Anna the night of Ry and Julia’s wedding. Anna had felt so overcome with sadness and grief that she’d staggered to the ladies’ loo at the Middle Point pub and, hidden inside a cubicle, had sobbed. She’d found it unbearable to be at a wedding so soon after her own had imploded. Lizzie had talked her through her tears, helped fix her make-up and led her outside and back to the wedding reception with whatever shred of dignity she had left.
Then Joe had asked her to dance. Thinking about what had happened after that sent a shiver darting through her breastbone.
‘Dan will be so thrilled to see you.’ Lizzie grabbed Anna’s hand, pulled her across the front lawn to the front door of a modest, green beach shack. Lizzie pushed open the front screen door and announced, ‘Look who I found!’
Dan stood in the kitchen, a tea towel slung over one shoulder and a cheese knife in his hand. At the sound of Lizzie’s voice, he looked up and a wide grin lit up his face. The adorable man who’d been her first boyfriend sauntered over to Anna with outstretched arms.
‘Anna.’ He embraced her in a bear hug, rocked her from side to side, and lifted her off her feet.
Anna gave Dan a brief squeeze and eased herself out of his arms. She wasn’t sure how Lizzie would take it if she hung on to the man and sobbed her heart out. Which is what she still felt like doing occasionally. But she was an ex-girlfriend and there were boundaries she would respect.
Dan and Lizzie stood before her like a perfect tableau of beachside living at its finest. Lizzie wore a sarong loosely knotted at her waist and a white singlet top. Dan wore multi-coloured boardshorts and a black T-shirt. Both of them were barefoot. Relaxed was not the word she would have used to describe them. They hadn’t simply taken a chill pill. They’d swallowed an entire bottle. When she took a closer look at Dan’s face, she noticed contentment in the warm brown of his eyes and in the set of his mouth, something that had been missing for so long. She was so glad for him that it was back. And it clearly had a whole lot to do with the woman who was standing next to him, reaching out to lightly stroke Anna’s arm with a sympathetic and knowing smile.
‘To what do we owe this pleasure?’ Dan asked.
Anna found comfort in St Christopher. ‘I don’t know really. I jumped in my car an hour and a half ago and I seem to have ended up right here, out the front of your house.’
‘Anna, what’s going on?’ Dan peered down into her eyes. Immediately Lizzie was at her side, a reassuring arm around her shoulders.
And then it all came out in a torrent. ‘I’m going crazy, that’s what’s going on. I didn’t know where else to go. Alex is at the house with a moving truck picking up his things and I couldn’t be there.’
Dan held up a hand. ‘You mean you didn’t trash all his stuff?’
Anna swallowed hard. ‘I thought about it, believe me. But I decided leaving was a better idea. He wouldn’t have been safe around me and so many sharp knives. So,’ she sucked in a steadying breath, ‘I got in the car and kept driving and I couldn’t seem to stop anywhere. Anywhere but here.’
‘You’re always welcome,’ Lizzie whispered. ‘You know that.’
‘Mi casa es su casa,’ Dan said.
Anna managed a laugh and slapped his arm. ‘That’s Spanish, you idiot.’
‘You’re not Spanish?’ Dan winked at her.
‘What would I do without you guys?’ Anna hugged them both, long and hard. ‘I still haven’t told my family yet. But they’re going
to get the picture pretty soon when they see half the furniture missing.’
‘How the hell have you managed to keep that a secret from your family? Especially from your sister,’ Dan said with a knowing smile. ‘You know you can’t hide this forever. They’re gonna twig.’
‘I know, I know.’ Anna pressed her palms over her eyes. What would they think of their daughter and sister and granddaughter now, the smart, capable woman who was so scared of telling them the truth? ‘I just need time to think about exactly what to say when I break their hearts.’
A few hours later Dan and Anna were deep in conversation in the living room and Lizzie watched on from the kitchen. She’d cleared away their dinner plates and discovered another bottle of wine in the fridge. Her heart broke for Anna. This woman had dropped everything as soon as she’d found out about Dan’s struggles after his accident. She’d been a rock for him during his recovery and, when Lizzie had met her for the first time, she’d liked her immediately.
Lizzie grabbed the wine and sat down next to Dan. He moved so she could sit in the crook of his arm, his strong hand on her shoulder, his warm body touching hers. When he looked down at her, smiling, she felt the still unfamiliar fluttering in her stomach. Anna’s words to her, the night of Ry and Julia’s wedding, came back in a warm flood: ‘Dan is truly one of the best guys I know. Please believe that I’ve wanted nothing more than for him to find the happiness he deserves. And he’s found it, Lizzie. I hope he’s the one to make you happy, I really do.’
Anna wasn’t just tough. She was wise and had a heart as big as Phar Lap’s. Together, she and Dan had to help Anna find her peace.
‘What are you two up to?’ Lizzie sighed, resting her head against Dan’s chest.
Anna teased the strands of her hair between her fingers, the slightest twinkle of mischief in her eyes. ‘We’re trying to come up with twenty ways to kill a cheating husband.’
‘I reckon we should go with my idea and run him down in your car,’ Dan said with a grin. ‘The blood won’t show on that red paintwork.’
‘But it might dent the bonnet,’ Anna said.
‘Damn.’
‘You know what they say about revenge – not that I believe in it in any shape or form – is that it’s a dish best served cold,’ Lizzie said, meeting their eyes in turn.
Anna laughed heartily. ‘Not when you’re Italian, bella.’
Dan whistled. ‘Tell me about it.’
‘Believe me, I’ve done a lot of talking about it. Talking, shouting, crying. Staring at the mirror after a night of no sleep and not recognising myself. Ate until I felt sick, then not eaten for days. I’m so over that part now. But I don’t quite know what stage of grief I’m up to. What’s the one called where you still want to cut their balls off?’
‘He deserves everything you throw at him, the cheating prick.’
Anna was touched by the tone of anger in Dan’s voice. She loved his loyalty to her and it brought a lump to her throat.
‘Dan,’ Lizzie frowned and elbowed him in the ribs. ‘While the guy clearly deserves it, I’m not sure all this talk of revenge is really helping.’
‘Oh yes, it helps, Lizzie,’ Anna nodded her head furiously. ‘Believe me.’
‘When did you find out?’ Lizzie waited in anticipation for an answer and then clamped her hand to her mouth. ‘Shit. I said that out loud, didn’t I? I’m sorry, Anna. It’s none of my business.’
Anna shrugged her shoulders and waved off the question. ‘No, it’s all right. It was a few weeks before Ry and Julia’s wedding. I didn’t walk in on him or anything like that. God, that would have been too The Bold and the Beautiful, wouldn’t it?’ Anna reached for her wine glass and without having to ask, Dan was already refilling it. To the brim. She took a sip and settled back on her chair. ‘Credit card bills don’t lie.’
‘Oh no,’ Lizzie murmured.
Dan shook his head. ‘I still think you should run him over in your car.’
‘You’re forgetting one thing, Dan. Being a medical professional I’d be obliged to obey the Hippocratic oath. I’d have to get out and save the bastard’s life.’
They all laughed at the idea of it. Anna thought she sounded convincing but a wave of sadness seeped inside her. Seeing Dan and Lizzie so happy only put her own life into stark and cold relief.
‘But that’s enough about my sordid life,’ she managed. ‘Look at you two, loved up and adorable.’
Lizzie and Dan exchanged glances.
‘She’s pretty adorable,’ he said quietly.
‘And yeah, we’re pretty loved up,’ Lizzie added. Anna could feel the heat in the air between them from way across the living room. She was happy for them, absolutely, but it was hard to be around all the happiness and hopefulness. She’d felt it once too, had once been as in love as they were.
‘Turns out everything I ever needed was right here in Middle Point,’ Dan said, turning to Anna with a grin. ‘Who knew?’
‘It suits you, Danny,’ Anna said. ‘This whole beach bum thing you’ve got going on.’
‘It’s a hard life but someone’s gotta live it.’ Dan raised his glass. ‘To Middle Point.’
‘To Middle Point,’ Anna and Lizzie echoed as they raised their glasses with him.
‘You know what, Anna?’ Lizzie said with a yawn. ‘You need to come down here way more often. The waves are fantastic. The air is warm and you can just relax. This is absolutely, definitely the best place in the world to think about what comes next.’
‘What comes next?’ Anna spluttered. ‘I’ve already got that all mapped out, sister. Work, family, sleep if I can manage it every now and then. And most importantly, a life with no men in it. That’s what comes next. I’m giving up on men, hear that?’ What Anna could hear was her own voice wobbly in her head and echoing in the room.
‘Man, that’s harsh,’ Dan said with a wince. ‘It would be a serious loss to blokes if someone like you gave up on us.’
‘You can’t mean that,’ Lizzie added with a frown, ‘Not really.’
‘Oh Lizzie, I wouldn’t touch a man with a barge pole at the moment. Maybe I never will again. When I get back to Adelaide, I’m going to drive right by the animal shelter and adopt some cats. I’ll turn into a cat lady, that’s what I’ll do. Any man who dares to come near me will be scratched to pieces by my loyal kitties. If I don’t get ’em first.’
‘Could be worse,’ Dan nudged Lizzie. ‘She could have said Dobermans.’
‘Anna, don’t say anything now you might regret later. Especially about giving up on men. What you need is a good night’s sleep and a good long walk on the beach tomorrow morning. Followed, of course, by breakfast at the Middle Point pub before you head back to the city.’
Anna set her wine glass on the table, tried to judge if she was still capable of driving. Decided she wasn’t.
‘I don’t think I should drive. Would it be okay if I crashed here tonight? In my professional opinion I shouldn’t get behind the wheel.’
Lizzie smiled and stood, grabbed Dan’s hand and pulled him to his feet. ‘Of course you can. We’ll head up to my place.’
Anna watched them. ‘You sure? I don’t want to kick you out of your bed, Dan.’ Simply saying the word ‘bed’ drew another yawn from Anna’s lips.
Dan grinned wickedly. ‘Haven’t needed it much lately.’
Anna yawned. ‘You think the sea breeze and the sound of the ocean will help me get a good night’s sleep? I desperately need one.’
‘I can guarantee it,’ Lizzie said. ‘Just listen to the waves and you’ll drift off in no time.’ She leaned down and kissed Anna’s cheek.
‘Wait,’ Anna called and fished around in her handbag, which was on the floor by her feet. She produced her car keys and threw them to Dan. ‘Take my car.’
He caught them mid-air. ‘Just how big do you think Middle Point is, Anna? We’re walking. Lizzie’s place is only five minutes away.’
Anna huffed. ‘Do I look like I care about you
r health? I care about my car. I don’t want my baby out there in the sea spray. She needs to be handled with kid gloves. She needs care and protection.’
Dan grinned at Lizzie, jangled the keys between them. ‘Want to go parking?’
‘You sure know the way to a girl’s heart.’ She reached up to kiss him on the lips, tender and soft, and then turned to Anna. ‘We’ll see you at the pub in the morning, Anna. Come for breakfast. The best bacon and eggs you’ve ever tasted, not to mention the sourdough toast, which is to die for. And there’s really good coffee, too.’
The pub. Anna remembered it well. A flash of memory streaked across her eyes; Dancing Queen. Joe’s blue eyes. His naked body in the moonlight. She blinked it away.
‘Sounds great,’ she said, trying to find an expression that didn’t look like she was thinking about having sex with Lizzie’s brother. ‘I’ll see you guys in the morning.’
Dan walked over to her, leaning down for a kiss on the cheek. She gave him two, Italian style. He rested a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. ‘You’ll get through this, you know you will.’
Anna reached up to pat his hand. ‘I remember saying that to you a few months ago.’
‘And you were right.’ Dan threw her a smile. ‘You’ve always been the smartest girl in the room.’
‘Not about everything,’ she murmured as Dan and Lizzie closed the door behind them. Once she heard the familiar thrum of her car disappear into the distance, she struggled to her feet, suddenly too tired to think. With her heels dangling in her fingers, she shuffled down the small hallway and pushed open the first door she could find. A large bed beckoned and she stepped towards it, stripped off her clothes and fell between the cool cotton sheets.
Our Kind of Love Page 5
