I got ready for my shift at The Pickled Frog in a fog of indecision and what-ifs. I pulled on a tight T-shirt over my head and slipped my jean skirt over my hips, making sure Grant watched me. I may have been lost in my own head, but I didn’t ever forget he was there . . . watching me. I could feel how much he wanted me and how hard he was trying to deny it to himself.
I climbed on the back of his bike and he drove on the freeway to the bar. I wondered how many more nights Grant would allow me to work here. Mitch and Grant both knew my secret, so it was only a matter of time before one of them ousted me to the entire SEAL team. I should probably get out before that, just to ensure my cover and all the hard work I put into it weren’t blown sky high.
We arrived at the bar, and I dismounted Grant’s bike. He put his arm around me and grabbed my ass.
“As far as my Team is concerned, you are my woman. Don’t start acting all crazy in there and interrogating people. I’m doing some investigating on my own. Your job tonight is to be Ksenya the bartender. That it. Last time you worked here, you were followed and then run off the road. I’m here to protect you.”
“Seriously, Grant. I have been working here for a week and you give me a speech like that? I get that you need to be in control, and I’ll give you that. But don’t talk to me like I’m five and stupid.”
His lips pressed into a tight line, but he didn’t say anything else as I re-centered myself back into Ksenya’s world.
The bar was packed, even for a Friday night, but there was no sign of Paul or Autumn yet or even Mitch.
After an hour or so, Autumn showed up dressed in a turquoise mini skirt and tight white tank top. All eyes in the room zeroed in on her, and she seemed to take in every single one of them before claiming the last open seat at the bar.
“Hey, girl! Oh my god! This place is amazeballs. I can’t believe I’ve never been here before. There are so many smoking hot guys here. Tell me! Who’s single?”
“Most of men here are not with only one woman. What it is you want to drink?”
“I’ll have a beer. Whatever you have on tap.”
I poured her the beer as she scanned the room, her smile widening as Mitch walked in with Paul and a man I’d never seen before. He was dark skinned, around forty, built, and covered in tattoos. Mitch made a beeline straight for me, and I felt Grant’s gaze focused on us.
Mitch eye fucked me and sat next to Autumn. “Hey, Ksenya. This is Rafael, a friend of mine.”
Rafael! The number in Mitch’s phone? “It is pleasure to meet together with you. What it is I can get for you to drink?” I tried not to let my eyes stray from Rafael as Paul slid into the seat next to him.
Rafael ordered tequila on the rocks and then turned his focus to Autumn. “I’d like to buy a drink for this pretty lady, as well.”
Autumn’s smile widened into an animated arch of lips, but if she were SEAL hunting, she was way off mark—this guy didn’t even look like a former Team guy.
It was only after I served Rafael and Autumn that I turned to Paul. He looked wrecked, worse than I’d seen him before. Even when he had a mission go wrong, Paul hadn’t looked so distraught.
I leaned over the table and touched Paul’s hand. “Why it is you look so sad?”
Paul sighed. “Nothing. Just a long week. I’ll take a draft.” Just that like, I had been dismissed, which was fine for now. I made myself scarce but kept my eyes on the trio, noting the way Paul kept glancing at Autumn. The looks weren’t in an “I want you” way. They were more knowing glances, sometimes an unspoken communication that you only ever really see in couples or co-workers. I knew both had been at the party the night Tiffany died, but neither Mitch nor Grant had ever said anything about Paul hooking up with anyone. Well, Paul was married, but that ring didn’t mean much to these guys. The only piece of metal that bound these men was those damn tridents that were literally stapled to their chests.
Mitch made his way over to Grant and whispered something in his ear. Grant nodded and then glanced back at me.
I returned to Paul, Rafael, and Autumn. Paul didn’t say a word to either of them, and Rafael and Autumn were in deep conversation. Autumn was batting her eyelashes, laughing at his jokes, and had even put her hand on his thigh. He whispered something into her ear, and a flush crept across her cheeks.
Something inside me twisted. Again, that feeling that something was off. Autumn had told me time and time again she wanted a Team guy. This guy didn’t look like one at all, especially with the tattoo of a barbed wire on his neck. What the hell was he doing hanging out with a bunch of SEALs? Maybe he and Mitch were just old friends. It was still strange.
I caught Autumn’s eyes, which was quite the feat, and glanced pointedly to the restrooms.
She turned to Rafael. “I’ve got to run to the ladies’ room. I’ll be right back.”
She hopped off her stool, grabbed my hand, and took me into the bathroom.
“What’s up?” She asked, pressing her back against the closed door.
“Nothing. Do you want to meet one of Grant’s friend? Rafael, I do not think he is the SEAL.”
“Oh, he’s not. He told me that he’s an entrepreneur. That’s sexy. I’m sick of SEALs, you know? I mean, I’m a stripper. I see them all the time, and they’re all cheaters. Maybe Rafael is the change I need.”
I bit my lip to stop myself from telling her she was right. I wanted to be alone with Rafael, try to figure who he was, why he was texting Mitch, and if he knew my brother. I couldn’t do that if she was hanging on him. “Okay. I understand. He looks like the bad news to me.”
“I like him! He’s very mature. He even owns a summer home in Lake Tahoe. How cool is that?”
“Very cool.” I internally rolled my eyes. There was slim to no chance that guy was an “entrepreneur”.
We used the bathroom, reapplied makeup, she spritzed some of that nasty body spray that was on a tray on the counter, and we went back to the bar.
The rest of my shift was a blur. Autumn left with Rafael without saying goodbye to me, Mitch went home with one of the resident frog hogs, Grant pretty much ignored me, Paul didn’t speak a word, and my feet were tired from running up and down the bar all night. What a bust.
Kyle left early with his girlfriend and tossed his keys to Grant, telling him to close up with me. Once the customers cleared out, Grant and I counted the money in silence.
Just as we finished, Grant walked over the to the doors and locked them.
“What are you doing? Aren’t we going to leave? I’m tired.”
“No, baby. I’ve been watching you all night, counting down the minutes until we were alone.”
Grant slammed me against the wall and pressed his his hard cock against me, proving just how much his watching me had turned him on.
Guess tonight hadn’t been a bust after all.
8
Grant
My hands grasped Mia’s wrists as my lips covered hers. I couldn’t believe how fucking sexy she looked. I had watched her flirt, flaunt, and strut all damn night and it almost broke me. The only thing that kept me from taking her in front of a room full of SEALs was that deep down I knew the show was entirely for me.
And I loved it.
My lips made their way down her chest and settled in on her cleavage. I buried my face in her tits and undid her bra with my free hand. She didn’t try to stop me when I reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled if off her. I had to break contact with her skin for only a moment, but then I sucked one of her nipples between my lips, and she let out a sweet little moan.
“Oh, baby. Just like that. It feels so good.”
Mia never used to talk during sex. I loved how confident she was now, only wishing she had been that secure before.
“You like that?” Her skin tasted tart yet sweet. Just like her.
I threw her over my shoulder and carried her to the bar, where I placed her on her back with her legs spread wide.
I took a moment to apprecia
te her beauty, but I hitched at the sight of her eyes. She was still wearing Ksenya’s dark brown contacts, but even so, I saw something more in them. Something that I’d never seen. Pain, loss, longing lingering in her soul.
I would flush out the agony and replace it with ecstasy. At least for a moment, she could escape with me to paradise.
I forced myself to pull away from her and move around the bar. I grabbed a bottle of tequila, some salt, and a lime before settling back to between her thighs.
Mia’s mouth widened into a smile. Neither of us had ever had the fun young college experiences full of frats and parties. I’d enlisted in the Navy at eighteen, and though Mia had attended SDSU, she lived with Joaquín and spent all her free time with me. Since our split, I’d learned a few things and was more than willing to give her a glimpse.
“Open your mouth.”
She licked her lips and parted them. I placed the rind of the lime in her mouth so its flesh pointed toward me, sprinkled salt on her chest, and then poured the tequila in her belly button.
She wiggled, causing a drop to spill out and down her side, but I bent and licked it off before taking the small shot from her belly button. I kept my eyes on her hooded ones as I licked the salt off her tits in long, slow movements and smiled when her breaths became a little erratic. I was still smiling when I took the lime from between her lips.
She giggled and arched her back, which made her knees pull up a bit.
I climbed up onto the bar, tore her panties off, and gave myself an even sweeter taste.
Her.
She ran her fingers through my hair as I devoured her, her scent making me high. After all these years, she still tasted the same, the one taste that I was addicted to. I loved eating her pussy, watching her react to my tongue and knowing how much she loved it, making her feel good.
Her legs tightened around her face, and I licked her for all I was worth.
“Oh, oh my God, oh, baby.”
A final gasp, and her legs tensed and she came all over my face. I didn’t give her time to come down from her high before I was turning her over. I took a moment to admire her incredible ass as I pushed her skirt up over her hips. I spanked her and then with quick, borderline frantic movements, I dropped my pants, took myself in my hand, and pressed my cock to her slit.
She melted against me, throwing her head back and gripping the bar top. “Yes, baby. Fuck me.”
I growled and entered her slowly, inch by inch, wanting to take her, but I also wanted to savor this moment, the taste of her pussy on my lips, the bliss of being inside her, fucking the only woman who I’d ever loved.
I increased my pace, rubbing her clit, wanting her to come again, come with me, share the pleasure she was giving me. I could feel her pussy clamp around my cock, pushing me closer to my own orgasm.
“Grant, yes!”
I couldn’t hold back anymore. I slammed into her over and over again. I needed her, I needed this moment.
I could feel her orgasm approaching, and I drove into her harder, not caring if I was leaving bruises. My own pleasure was exhilarating, and every nerve inside me was completely euphoric.
“Mia, fuck!”
I came so fucking hard, and for a moment, I was lost inside her. When I released her, reality came crashing down beside us. No matter how much I wanted her, this could never work. I could never trust her.
But how was I ever going to let her go?
9
Mia
The next morning, I woke draped over Grant. Despite his declarations that he was through with me, I felt more connected to him than ever. When I opened my eyes, he was still next to me, which almost never happened. He had always been an early riser.
I slipped out of bed and let Hero outside before making some coffee. Then, I made the only vegan breakfast that Grant actually enjoyed: avocado toast with pink Himalayan sea salt and cherry tomatoes. It was a San Diego classic.
I must’ve been too loud, because when I looked up, Grant was standing in the kitchen staring at me, a suspicious look on his face.
“Morning.”
He sat down, and I served him toast and coffee. After eating for a few minutes in silence, I broke and set down my coffee mug.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“No reason.”
“Grant, I know when you’re lying to me. What do you want from me? I’ve been one hundred percent honest with you since you found out who I was. Every time you look at me, you have this suspicious scowl on your face. If you have any questions, just ask me. I have nothing to hide anymore.”
He sipped his coffee, his poker face in full effect. “Your son, did ever take a picture of him?”
I swallowed, trying to stop the tears from starting. “Yes, of course. I have one.”
“Show me.”
I’d never shown anyone the worn picture I kept hidden in the back of my wallet. For the first year after I lost him, I looked at that picture every day. Then, one day, I stopped. Looking at my handsome little boy was unbearable. Wondering who he would be today or how different my life would be, broke my soul.
I stood up, grabbed my wallet from my purse, and shoved it at Grant, refusing to look at it myself.
“It’s in the wide slot.”
Grant retrieved the photo, and I kept my gaze on his face, knowing what he was looking for. He wanted to see if the boy was his.
He examined the picture, and his eyes blinked rapidly. He lost the battle with the emotions I knew were raging through him, and for the first time since I had met him, Grant shed a tear.
“He has a cleft in his chin like mine. He’s mine.”
I swallowed and choked back tears. Deep down, I knew he was Grant’s. They had the same face shape and that telltale cleft. But I never saw my attackers face, so how did I know he didn’t share the same traits? The loss of my son was hard enough, but I couldn’t bring myself to think about losing Grant’s son. It was unbearable.
“I hoped he was. But I never wanted to know. If he wasn’t yours and his dad was the guy who raped me, I didn’t want to love him less. Please forgive me.”
“Did you bury him?”
I centered myself and spoke rapidly. “No. He died while I was recovering from my C-section. I had an infection, almost died, and was in and out of consciousness. By the time I was awake, he’d been taken to the morgue. I signed a form for him to be cremated and took his ashes to Mt. Tam.”
He nodded, almost emotionless. What the hell? He had a look that I would almost describe as hopeful. What the fuck was wrong with him?
“And you never told Joaquín? We now know from Mitch that your brother knew you were raped.”
“No, you all were deployed most of my pregnancy. I never told him, and he never met Elías.”
“Elías? You named him after your dad?”
“Yes.”
Grant nodded and then reached over and held my hand. “Let’s go see him today.”
“You want to go to San Francisco to see where I scattered his ashes?”
“No. I want to go see Joaquín. But you have to trust me on this. Don’t go telling him anything about Mitch, Elías, or that you knew you were raped. Promise that you will follow my lead.”
“Of course.” I agreed, not willing to fuck up my shot at seeing my brother again.
I excused myself from breakfast and went into the bathroom to get ready. When I walked out fifteen minutes later, I found Grant already dressed and the breakfast table cleared. The picture of my son nowhere to be seen
After a longer than usual wait, Joaquín was pushed through the door by a guard.
As he stumbled to the blue plastic chair, I wanted to cry. He looked exhausted, beaten down, and defeated. There was a brand new tattoo on his neck. The skin was so red and blotchy I couldn’t tell what it was at first, but when he finally situated himself in the seat and turned to the phone, I got a good look. It was a thinly drawn barbed wire.
Just like the one Rafael was
sporting the other night.
A pit grew in my stomach.
I finally had a realization that even if Joaquín was exonerated, his life would be ruined forever from this experience. There was no coming back. My brother, the former SEAL, now sported what I believed to be a gang tattoo on his neck.
He picked up the phone. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I dropped my accent. “Grant knows. I guess he knew last time we visited.”
Joaquín smirked. “Damn, sister. You’re fucking crazy. I told you to stay away from me, but you didn’t listen. You did this all for me? Man you look hot! First time you showed up here looking like a porn star, I wanted to fuck you.”
Grant gave him a disgusted look.
“Funny. I’m still your bratty kid sister. Yeah. I have to get you out of here. What’s with your new tattoo?”
He gave me a stone cold stare. “I’m in jail, Mia. We’re Mexican. I do what I have to do to survive. No more questions. What have you turned up on your investigation?”
I opened my mouth to answer and was about to tell him that Tiffany had a child and that I thought the little boy was his, but Grant stole the phone from me.
“Nothing yet, bro. We’re following some leads. I’m going to keep your sister out of trouble until you get out. Do you need anything?”
“A woman. And I appreciate you watching over Mia for me. I know she can be a handful.”
“She can be, but we both already knew that.”
Joaquín laughed, but it was a hollow sound. And he kept staring at me. It must’ve been hard for him to see his beloved sister as a new woman.
Grant and Joaquín made some more small talk about the Team until our time was up. The guard led Joaquín away, and for the first time since this nightmare started, I was happy to see him go. I hadn’t realized how hurt I was that he knew I had been raped and he didn’t confront me. It was silly for me to feel that way. Something like that wasn’t easy for anyone to talk about, and it was likely that he had been waiting for me to talk to him about it first. It didn’t stop the irrationality that was swirling around my mind and fogging my thoughts.
Carnal (Se7en Deadly SEALs Book 4) Page 4
