“You got it,” I said, thrilled to have the opportunity to dig in right away and show him what I could do. “I've got some great ideas. We can make it a charity ball.”
“Sounds good. You're thinking. I like that. I also need you to take responsibility for the players' public appearances,” he added, dropping a folder on my desk. “Here are just a few of the requests we've been getting. Now, depending on your schedule, it would be nice if you could accompany the players to some of the events, to make sure things go off without a hitch.”
“Sure. Okay,” I said, praying that Chase wasn't scheduled for anything soon.
“One of the players is scheduled to visit a children's home this afternoon,” Mr. Ware continued. “Maybe you should go along.” Before I could answer, he looked up. “Chase! Hey, buddy!” Mr. Ware stepped out of my cubicle.
I remained in my chair, out of Chase's view. My heart pounded and all kinds of thoughts raced through my mind. Do I look okay? Has Chase been thinking about me? What is he going to say when he sees me?
I took a deep breath. Lord, I really wanted to avoid this guy but You brought him to me. Help me know what to say to him.
“Hey thanks for agreeing to go to the children's home,” Mr. Ware said, standing just outside my cubicle. “I know you've been real busy, but it really means a lot to the organization that you would represent us with this charity.” Mr. Ware stepped back into my cubicle. “Chase, I'd like you to meet the new person who'll be handling appearances for us. This is Zoe Clarke.”
I stood. The sight of Chase took my breath away, and my knees nearly melted. The man looked even finer than I remembered. I reached out my hand to shake his, trying to keep it from trembling. Instead of taking my hand, he reached out and hugged me.
I almost collapsed from relief. I was glad he didn't feel the need to be formal. A hug was definitely more appropriate between us. We'd been through too much for a dull, ordinary handshake. Just two weeks before, he had been my man. I was glad he still cared enough to let me know I still meant something.
“I take it you two know each other?” Mr. Ware asked.
Before Chase could tell it all, as I could see he was about to do, I interjected, “Yes, sir, we went to college together at the University of Miami.”
Taking my lead, Chase allowed the rest of the conversation to remain professional.
“Well, if you have a moment, Chase,” Mr. Ware said, “I'd like to go over the appearance for this afternoon.” He turned to me. “Zoe, would you join us?”
I nodded and followed the two men into the conference room. As Mr. Ware gave us the details for this afternoon's appearance, my mind wandered.
I began to wonder what would happen with Chase and me. I wanted to ask him out. We needed to talk. I ached to ask for his forgiveness, and judging from the hug, I could tell he missed me.
But when Mr. Ware finished and stood to leave, I lost my nerve.
Chase said, “Well, Zoe, it was nice to see you again. Will I see you at the children's home?”
“I'm not sure,” I answered. “I'm going to try, but it depends on what Mr. Ware has going on for me.”
“Okay,” he said casually. “Well, I hope you can make it. See ya later.” Then he left and I slowly returned to my solitary desk.
From the moment I walked into the children's home, I was sad. It seemed to be a lonely place. My childhood hadn't been the greatest—living among roaches, not being able to connect with my mother, my father dying when I was so young; often we barely had enough food on the table. But this place made my circumstances almost look like heaven. The biggest difference between how I grew up and this home was that with all I went through, I always believed that my parents loved me.
This facility was plain, cold and clean, reminding me of a hospital. As I stared into the children's eyes, I saw the same thing: coldness. They didn't look at all happy. Their eyes held no hope. But then, I asked myself, why should they be hopeful? These were older children and there was very little chance of them ever leaving this place with adoptive parents.
I introduced myself to the administrator, who shook my hand quickly and looked past me to Chase.
“Mr. Farr, we are so excited to have you here today,” she fawned. “Thank you so much for coming.”
I wanted to gag the way she threw herself at him, but I just smiled as I took a seat in the front row of the auditorium.
I smiled at Chase as he sat on the stage with workers from the home. When the administrator introduced Chase and he stood, the boys and girls, ranging in age from seven to seventeen, barely applauded. But by the time he was halfway through his speech, they were sitting on the edge of their seats. I watched in awe as Chase encouraged those kids.
“Even though you don't have parents around,” he said, “you have one parent who is always with you. You have a heavenly Father who is providing for you, even now. At least you're not living on the streets. Here you have workers who love you and take care of you. You know, God has a purpose and a plan for each and every one of you, and all of you are very important to Him.”
I looked at the children's faces and watched as the despair in their eyes turned to hope. It made me smile. I felt good inside for being a part of it.
Chase glanced at me as he spoke and I smiled and nodded. What he was doing here was greater than catching passes and scoring touchdowns. He was winning little souls for Christ.
“Well, now it's time for me to go.” Chase began to end his speech. “But before I do, I want to introduce you to someone.”
The children sat quietly in anticipation and I blushed, thrilled that he was going to give me a special introduction.
“Kids, I'd like you to meet a very special lady. Her name is Waverly Phillips. She's one of the Storm's cheerleaders.”
The children burst into applause and a bouncy blond bimbo-looking chick, who had been sitting beside Chase, stood and gave a big, toothy grin. I'd noticed the girl, of course, but had figured she was one of the children's home workers. She wasn't wearing a cheerleader uniform, and Mr. Ware hadn't mentioned anything about a cheerleader accompanying us.
I crossed my arms and wondered what she was doing here…and was she with Chase? As far as I was concerned, if she wasn't in uniform, she wasn't representing the Storm.
I didn't know any of the cheerleaders by face. I'd seen them at the home games but had never gotten close enough to recognize any of them. But for some reason, this one's name rang a bell.
Waverly Phillips. Why did I know that name?
Then it hit me! This was the chick who had left a message on the answering machine the night of the big hailstorm. The one he had given a ride home to after the away game.
Waverly stood next to Chase at the podium.
“I am so glad to be here,” she gushed. “It is so neat to be a Storm cheerleader.”
She sounded like a bimbo too. But Chase didn't seem to think so. I watched his eyes as he watched her. He seemed intrigued and impressed, though I didn't know why. I wasn't impressed at all.
I decided right then that I was going to have to break down and speak to Chase…and soon. I didn't want whatever was going on with this cheerleader babe to go any further. But then again, why was I deluding myself. I was not in any postion to dictate to him what he should do?
When Chase and Waverly finally stepped away from the podium, I stood, eager to go to Chase. But a little girl with braids and a droopy brown face stopped me in my tracks.
“Do you think I'm pretty?” she asked with puppy dog eyes.
“Yes,” I said, deciding my talk with Chase could wait. I sat down in a small chair beside her. “Why would you ask me that?”
“Because I want to be pretty like you when I grow up. And if I'm not pretty now, I won't be pretty later. Nobody here thinks I'm pretty.”
“Oh, that's not true at all. You're very pretty.”
The girl lowered her eyes. “Before I got sent here, my foster mama told me I was the ugliest thing she had eve
r seen.” She looked down at her hands and spoke softly. “Sometimes, when I look in the mirror, I think she's right.”
“What's your name?” I asked the girl.
“Kiana.”
“My, what a beautiful name. Kiana, let me look at you.” She slowly lifted her face. “Oh, sweetie, your foster mom was way wrong. You are beautiful.”
“Really?” Her face lit up, her big, toothy smile making her look heavenly.
“Absolutely. And what's more important, you're lovely on the inside too. That's the best beauty in the whole world. God don't make no junk, Kiana. I bet when you grow up, you're gonna be much prettier than me.”
Her smile grew even wider, and she gave me a tight hug. As I hugged her back, I prayed, Lord, continue to give this girl hope.
Kiana released me. “Thank you,” she said before she hurried off with some other girls.
I stood and made my way to Chase.
“I'm so glad you made it,” he said. But a second later, Little Miss Cheerleader saw us talking, and she joined us. “Zoe,” Chase said, “I'd like to introduce you to Waverly Waverly Zoe works in the public-relations office for the Storm.”
What? My mind reeled. He couldn't possibly have just introduced me as an office person! I am his girl. Why doesn't he tell her that?
“Well, hi, Zoe,” Waverly bubbled. “It's so great to meet you.”
“Mr. Ware didn't tell me there were going to be cheerleaders at this event,” I said, not caring that I sounded harsh.
“Oh, I didn't have to come this afternoon.” She smiled again. I wondered if her lips hurt from pasting on that goofy grin all the time. “I like doing things like this, and Chase told me he was coming, so I figured I'd tag along. Anything I can do to give back to the community, I'll do. And spending more time with Chase is always a plus.”
“I see. So, you and Chase spend a lot of time together?” I wondered what Chase was thinking about the edge in my voice. But I didn't take my eyes off her big baby blues.
“Oh, yes.” Waverly giggled, oblivious to the sarcasm that dripped from my words. “We've been dating for almost a week now, and things have just been great.” She shot a glance at Chase. “Well, I guess I shouldn't call it dating.” I felt a brief surge of relief. “Technically, players and cheerleaders aren't supposed to date.”
My heart sank to my knees.
“Besides,” she went on, clueless of my pain, “Chase is so busy, I'll take whatever time I can spend with him.” She kept going on telling me her business. It was strange because she didn't even know me.
I stood frozen. Although I made sure that I didn't show it on the outside, tears were choking my heart. Chase and I had been apart for just two weeks, and he was already dating? And a white chick, no less. I didn't have any problem with interracial relationships, but I remembered him dating a white girl in college, and he said she was a big phony. This Waverly chick seemed pretty phony to me.
Besides, Chase was supposed to be in love with me. This cheerleader babe could have been green-skinned with purple hair and I would have disliked her just as much. All the hopes I had of getting back with Chase disappeared. I'd thought he still felt something for me. I realized, now, that I had secretly hoped as soon as he knew I was back in town, we'd automatically get back together.
But he was obviously into this girl now. My heart buried itself deep within my chest, and I wasn't sure it would ever come out again.
There was no doubt that I loved this man, but I'd just have to get over it. Chase had moved on. The bright future I had hoped might still be possible for Chase and me wasn't going to happen. The forecast of a sunny day was no longer accurate. I was really going to have to trust God, because all I could see was a hazy overcast.
Chapter 12
Looking at Chase standing beside Waverly made my body tremble. The way he looked at her was identical to the way he'd looked at me just fourteen days before. But I was no longer his leading lady. And it was my fault.
Waverly caressed my man's back.
Yeah, I knew we had split up. But I felt he still belonged to me. And yet, I couldn't say or do anything. I couldn't tell her to move her hand. I couldn't tell her to back off. I couldn't say, Excuse me, but this is not your merchandise.
Inside, I prayed. I wanted and needed to let the Holy Spirit guide me. I needed God's help in controlling the jealous monster inside me that wanted to rip Waverly's hair out.
Waverly continued jabbering, telling me all about her “dates” with Chase, and I finally couldn't take it anymore. I gave Chase a sad look; then I grabbed my purse and my folder and headed for the exit.
But the door was so heavy, I couldn't open the stupid thing with my hands full. I pushed hard, and the papers in my folder fell to the ground. I muttered under my breath.
Like a knight in shining armor, Chase appeared beside me. He knelt and helped me pick up the papers that had fluttered onto the floor. I didn't know whether to be thankful or angry.
“I got it,” I lied, even though I really wanted his help.
He ignored me and lifted the papers anyway. We both stood at the same time. Chase opened the door. When we stepped outside, he asked, “Are you okay?”
“What do you think?” I snapped. “We've only been apart a couple of weeks and you're already dating!”
“You disappeared, Zoe. You didn't call. Didn't even leave a forwarding number. Did you expect my life to stop?”
“No,” I admitted, some of the attitude gone from my voice. “But I didn't expect your love for me to end so fast. If what we had was real, how could you quit loving me so quickly?”
“Who said I didn't love you anymore?” he whispered. “Zoe, Waverly and I are friends. She'd like it to be more, but it's not. You and I have issues that—”
“Issues? Go ahead and say it. I'm the reason we're apart.”
He hesitated for a moment before he nodded. “That's true.”
“Geez, Chase. You waited almost four years for me. You couldn't wait two more weeks? You wanted me the whole time I was having sex with Devyn, but then when I wanted to have sex with you, you couldn't handle it?”
“It was more than that, Zoe. You knew where I stood.”
I was hot and ready to tell Chase everything that I believed. “And do you think it will be any different with that white chick in there? Believe me, she is gonna want a piece of you. Remember college? Those white girls just wanted the pro-bound athletes. They didn't want the regular brotha's. Don't think she likes you because you're nice. You are the Storm, Chase. She only wants one thing—to lock you in bed so she can lock onto your wallet.”
Chase's face began to turn red. “Do you think I'm that naive?”
“If you can't see her real motives, then, yeah, I do think you're naive.”
I tried to stop the tears that threatened to flow from my eyes, but my emotions were high. Still, I was determined to finish having my say.
“You know, I'm glad we didn't sleep together. Now, that's one less thing I have to worry about. Here, I've been all bummed out because I wanted to express what I felt for you in the deepest way I knew how. Thank God He stopped that. He knew I didn't need to be hurt like that twice.”
I could tell my words weren't accomplishing anything. Chase's eyes darted toward the door every few minutes, obviously checking for Waverly Did he think I was stupid, that I didn't see and understand what he was doing?
“You know what?” I said, ignoring his wandering eyes. “It's not even an issue anymore. Do whatever you want to do. I've got a job in the office, and you work on the field. We don't ever have to see each other. Go ahead and finish up with the kids here, do your civic duty, then head out on your date or whatever you want to call it. I just don't care anymore.” Without waiting for a response, I rushed off. And I didn't turn back, even though I could feel Chase's eyes following me.
“There you are,” Shay said as I entered the bridal boutique. “Where have you been?”
“The world doesn't revolve ar
ound you, Shay,” I mumbled.
“What?”
“I'm sorry I'm late,” I said, changing my tone. “You look beautiful.” I didn't know how many gowns she'd tried on before I arrived. I'd gotten so caught up with Chase that I'd almost forgotten about my promise to meet her at the boutique.
As I looked at her in the elegant silk gown, a stab of pain squeezed my heart like a vise. I remembered my own botched wedding day and the way my gorgeous white dress had turned muddy brown by the end of the night.
Though I knew why God didn't want me to be with Devyn, I remembered now all of the high hopes I'd had for us. I was surprised to find myself wondering how Devyn was doing. I wondered what he was doing now. And I wondered how far along Aisha was and if they were still together.
It didn't make sense—all the questions I had. I guess seeing Chase, especially with another girl, started me to think about my ex. I knew it wasn't healthy, but I couldn't help fantasizing.
“Do you really like it?” Shay said, pulling me away from my thoughts of Devyn.
“Yeah, it's perfect,” I said without really looking.
“Seriously, do you absolutely love it?” Shay twirled so that I could see her from every angle. “You know I want to be the most beautiful person in the world on my special day.”
“The dress looks adorable,” I assured her, finally looking at her. “But don't ask me. Whatever gown you want is the one I want for you.”
Shay pouted. “That's not very helpful.”
“Look, why do we have to go through all this drama?”
“You sure are putting a damper on things. I've been waiting for you to get here so I could show you some of my favorite dresses, and now you're totally spoiling it. What's wrong with you?”
I wanted to be angry at Shay, but she was right. I was moping, having a pity party. I was jealous. I wanted to be the happy bride. Shay had a Christian man who cared for her and I had no man. Not that I needed one. I knew God had to be the center of my life first. But a little bit of the flesh was starting to take over.
A Lova' Like No Otha' Page 14
