Why hadn’t I noticed how adorably sexy he was before?
The curls on his head, the glasses, and his soulful brown eyes… gah!
And the sound of his voice. It was almost like I was hypnotized as he told me myth after myth of the constellations. The stories were tragic and beautiful all at once. It made looking up at the stars even more romantic.
His shoulder was just as strong as it looked. I simply could not resist leaning into him as he spoke. I felt like the moon he spoke of, circling the earth. I was the moon and he was the earth; I rotated around his voice until I was completely pulled in.
Eric was the only one who knew I was afraid of the dark.
I’d told him back before I’d known enough to be self-conscious. He’d never laughed at me back then and he hadn’t laughed tonight. He’d offered to hold my hand.
Just like back then, I couldn’t resist. There was something so basic about us when we were together. Like we belonged together.
When I was small and innocent, I called it friendship.
Now?
Now I called it scary.
I was so scared I hurt him. I saw it flash in his eyes back there in the car. I’d basically told him I hadn’t wanted to kiss him, that I hated it.
It was a total lie.
But a necessary one.
Eric and I were the past.
Used-to-be-friends. He was the one who ended it, and I knew now it was for the best. We were from two different circles. We would never work.
I could never walk down the hall at school holding his hand.
It would be social suicide.
Soon, he would go back to his house and I could go back to pretending I never saw him.
Out in the hallway, I heard the distinct opening and closing of his bedroom door.
My hand wrapped around the doorknob before I realized what I was doing and forced myself to stop. Apologizing would only make things worse.
I decided to distract myself with writing my report while everything he’d taught me tonight was fresh in my mind. I laid across my bed and wrote it all out, finishing the paper completely.
As I was getting ready for bed, I felt a sense of accomplishment for completing the entire assignment in just one night.
I credited my enthusiasm to get it done with my need for a distraction.
As I laid in bed and listened for any muffled sounds coming from his room, I felt sort of sad. That’s when I realized I hadn’t been distracting myself at all with that paper. I’d used it as an excuse.
An excuse to stay in that little universe we’d been in when we kissed just a little bit longer.
I refused to look at him in school and skipped dinner the next night. Sitting at the table with him and pretending everything was normal was impossible.
I didn’t know how to act around him anymore.
Up until the planetarium, it was easy to stay on my side of the invisible line between us. Having him around reminded me of when we were little, and it made me curious. I wondered who he was now, but I also wondered what happened all those years ago when he pulled away from our friendship.
That line between us, though invisible, became almost non-existent as we sat under the stars in his planetarium and I listened to the sound of his voice filling up the star-soaked darkness.
That kind of thing changed a girl.
Or maybe it just brought out the real me.
I don’t know. I was confused.
All I knew is that one minute a line was drawn, and the next he totally stepped over it and was kissing me like no one ever kissed me before.
Eric kissed like he owned my lips. Like he had every right to kiss me and stoke his tongue right over mine.
No one had ever acted like that before. Most guys were more cautious, like they weren’t sure how far they could go with me. Like they were intimidated.
Eric was not intimidated by me.
Just in the past few days, he’d challenged me. When we kissed I’d felt like I was a wild horse and he was the gentle, yet commanding, hand that tamed me.
I couldn’t just sit at the dinner table with a guy like that.
He made me nervous and excited, but it didn’t matter. Girls like me didn’t date boys like him. I didn’t date anyone, really. I flirted, played games, and got guys interested. I let them think they had a chance – no, more than a chance with me.
Then I dropped them.
Game over.
Harsh? Maybe.
I’d learned the past couple years it was better that way. I was only doing what lots of guys did. They liked the thrill of the hunt, they liked the chase. Once most had a girl good and hooked, they moved on.
And the girls?
They needed a lesson in who was at the top. A lot of girls were fine with where they fell in the high school hierarchy. They had their group of friends, just like I had mine. I waved and smiled at them almost daily because they weren’t my enemies. We co-existed in a good place. In a neutral place.
But then there were the other girls… the ones whose eyes you felt drilling a hole into your back. The ones who paid attention with hawk-like attention to everything I wore, said and did. They had their eyes on my spot. The top spot.
They would overthrow me if they could and not think twice.
Most people wanted to be me, but there were some who thought they actually had a shot at it.
Those were the girls who needed reminding. They needed to be put not so subtly back in their place.
Taking their boyfriend or die-hard crush was my way of doing that.
The loud sound of the phone broke into my thoughts. The shrill sound of its ring echoed up the stairs. A few seconds later, my mother yelled up the stairs.
“Kelly! You have a phone call!”
I bounced down the stairs and picked up the receiver, which Mom had balanced on top of the portion hanging on the wall.
“Hello?” I said and twisted the cord around my finger.
“I have no idea what to wear,” Mandy said into my ear.
“We went shopping,” I said and rolled my eyes. “You got an outfit.”
“I got two and now I can’t decide!” she burst out.
I smiled at the phone. She was so erratic. I always dressed fashionably and I loved clothes just as much as Mandy, but she tended to be more indecisive whereas I was quicker to settle on something. Maybe it was because I rocked everything.
“Wear the dress,” I said. It was totally in right now with its tighter skirt and big poufy sleeves. It had a heart shaped neckline so she could wear a necklace or something with it.
“It is Tad’s favorite color,” she agreed.
The mention of Tad made my stomach drop. I’d actually totally forgotten about him. “I didn’t know blue was his favorite,” I said to keep the conversation going.
I so did not want to think about Tad.
“He’s been so weird lately.”
“Oh,” I said, twirling the cord a little bit tighter around my finger. “How?”
“Distant, kind of moody. He didn’t even call me last night!”
“Guys are so weird,” I murmured.
“So yeah,” she went on. “Totally the blue.”
“Totally,” I echoed.
“Well, I better go. My hair is a mess and I want to be ready when Tad gets here to pick me up.”
“Ok,” I said, staring at my feet.
“We’ll be by not long after to get you,” she added.
I forgot they were driving me! It was just another excuse to be around Tad, but now I didn’t want to be around him at all.
I wrapped an arm across my stomach. “No, I’ll meet you there. It will give you and Tad some alone time. Sounds like you need it.”
“Thanks, Kelly. You’re a good friend.”
I wanted to gag. “See ya later,” I said, and quickly hung up the phone.
Mandy didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve me snatching Tad right out from under her. She liked him and I was
ruining that. I knew what it was like when you liked someone and then suddenly they just weren’t around anymore.
Why had I thought this was a good idea? Why had I thought she deserved this? She wasn’t one of those girls that needed a lesson… she was my best friend.
Why was I suddenly having a change of heart now?
“You girls make your plans for tonight?” my mom asked as she came into the room. She had blond hair just like me. She wore hers in a shorter style, but it was still fashionable. Her eyes were blue like mine as well. A lot of times people thought we were sisters and not mother and daughter.
“Yep,” I replied. “Going to the mall. Might check out a movie.”
“Sounds fun,” Mom said. “You’re staying over at her house, right?”
“I’m not sure,” I said, even though that was the plan. Suddenly I didn’t feel like partying so much.
“Is everything all right?” she asked.
“Totally,” I said. “Mandy just got in a fight with Tad.”
“Young love,” Mom sighed with a faint smile.
“Mom?” I asked.
“Hmm?”
“What’s love feel like?”
She smiled. “Well, it’s sort of a whole mix of emotions at first. Like a nervous, excited feeling. When you see him, your heart beats a little faster and you forget where you are. You think about him all the time even when you know you should be thinking of other things.”
“Is that how it is with you and Dad?”
“It was years ago. Now it just feels like happiness, like my life wouldn’t be complete without him.”
I nodded. I don’t know why, but my chest felt a little tight. I also felt heavy with dread… I’d felt some of those things she just described. I’d felt them very recently.
“Is there a special someone in your life?” Mom asked.
I forced a laugh. “No. Unless you count myself.”
Mom laughed lightly. “Focusing on yourself is always a good thing,” she replied. “Just remember not to become too self-centered, because then you sometimes miss what is right in front of you.”
I stared at her, trying to figure out what she meant. Was she talking about Eric in a roundabout way?
“Right,” I said. “Well, I better go get ready.”
Halfway to the door I remembered I told Mandy not to pick me up. “Oh, can I borrow the car tonight?”
“I don’t see why not,” Mom replied.
“Thanks!” I spun back to the door and collided with Eric’s chest. A sound escaped from my throat.
His hands gripped my arms to steady me. “Whoa.”
My mouth ran dry and even though I wanted to yell at him for being in my way, I couldn’t find the words. They just weren’t there. He didn’t release me right away. Instead, he looked into me with those light brown eyes. It felt invasive, like he saw deep down, saw more than I wanted him to see.
“Where are you going in such a hurry?” he asked, finally pulling his hands off me.
He didn’t move though, he stayed there within inches of me, totally blocking the door.
My stomach bounced around at the sound of his voice. All I could think about was the way it sounded in the dark when he was speaking only to me.
“Uh,” I stuttered. “I’m, ah, going out with friends.”
“What are you doing tonight, Eric?” Mom interjected.
“I was supposed to go to a friend’s, but those plans fell through.”
“Oh no, what happened?”
“His mom happened,” Eric said, totally amused.
I had no idea what that meant.
“Moms can be such a pain,” my mom said, like she totally knew.
I looked at him and rolled my eyes.
He smiled softly and my heart rate doubled.
Oh shit. Not again.
I was experiencing all those things my mom just told me about love. With Eric.
No. No. No.
“Hey!” Mom said. “I have an idea. Kelly, take Eric with you tonight! Then he won’t be here alone.”
The room tilted. I was not taking Eric out with me tonight. No way in hell.
“Oh, he’d be totally bored. It’s just a bunch of girls,” I scoffed.
“I thought Tad was going?” Mom said.
Oh my God, had she heard my conversation?
She was totally eavesdropping!
“Well yeah,” I hedged.
“He might like another man to hang out with,” she glanced at Eric and winked.
It made me want to barf.
I gave Eric a help me look, but he just smiled like he was enjoying this. He was totally gonna pay for this later.
“Tad and Eric don’t really know each other, Mom,” I said. “We have different friends.”
“All the more reason to bring Eric along! Introduce him around, make some new friends.”
“I don’t think Eric would have a good time,” I said.
“You don’t like the mall and the movies?” Mom asked Eric with raised brows.
“I love movies. Especially scary ones. They’re even better in the dark theatre.”
Was he goading me? Was he totally teasing me about my fear of the dark?
“What movie are you going to see, Kel?” Eric asked with a smirk.
He knew I wasn’t going to see a movie, the rat! I’m sure he’d heard about the party everyone was going to. Was he mad he wasn’t invited, or was he just trying to make me squirm?
“I’m not sure,” I said giving him a death glare. “Probably a romance.”
“What else are you going to do tonight, Eric?” Mom said. God, was she still here?
“I’ll probably get a head start on next week’s reading,” he replied.
“It’s settled. Kelly, if you want to borrow my car then you’re going to take Eric with you to meet your friends.”
“But,” I started to protest.
“Oh, no,” Eric jumped in. Maybe he finally realized this wasn’t funny. “That’s okay, Mrs. Ross, I’d rather stay home.”
“But we’re all going out. A friend of ours is having a surprise birthday party for her husband. Your mother is coming with us. I don’t like the idea of you being here alone.”
“I’ve been alone before,” he said, an edge to his voice.
I glanced at him.
“Well not tonight.” I knew that tone. There was no way I was getting out of here tonight without him. “Kelly?”
“Yes, ma’am,” I mumbled.
Mom smiled. “Good. When you are both ready, come see me and I’ll give you the keys.”
Eric and I both scattered from the room like leaves on a windy day. If we hung around any longer, there was no telling what she’d do. Halfway up the stairs I tossed him an evil look over my shoulder then stomped the rest of the way up.
In the hallway in front of our rooms, I swung to face him. “You just had to tell her you had no plans.”
“How was I supposed to know she’d do that?” he shrugged.
“So what?” I whisper-yelled. “I’m supposed to just show up with you at Aaron’s party?”
“That would be, like, totally embarrassing,” he mocked me with a stubborn glint in his eye.
I sighed. I wasn’t trying to hurt his feelings. I stared at him trying to figure out what to do.
“Relax,” he finally said. “I’ll leave with you so you can get the car and you can just let me off around the block and I’ll walk back here and sneak up to my room.”
“Really?” I asked, relieved.
“I have no desire to be seen with someone who doesn’t want to be seen with me.” His voice was tight.
“Eric.” I was a horrible person. First I betrayed my best friend and now this…
“Just knock on my door when you’re ready and we’ll go downstairs,” he said, and then disappeared into his room.
I stared after him a while, trying to figure out how all this happened.
It didn’t bode well for the rest of my nigh
t.
Bombdigity – A way to say you really like something. Its like saying Bomb, but on steroids.
I never cared about any of this stuff.
I didn’t want to be part of the in-crowd, or go to parties. That stuff was here today and gone tomorrow. It didn’t last, so really, what did it matter?
Then Kelly knocked on my bedroom door.
Just seeing her standing there opened the floodgates for feelings I wasn’t accustomed to.
Frustrated.
Angry.
Jealous.
It wasn’t surprising that she looked beautiful. Kelly was the prettiest girl in the entire school. Honestly, she was the prettiest girl I’d ever seen.
Tonight her hair was pulled up into some kind of side ponytail, high on her head. The bangs at the front were teased up like all the girls wore and the scrunchie holding the hair in place around her ponytail was black, a direct contrast to her blond hair.
The make-up she wore looked like it usually did, not too much but enough to enhance her face, especially her blue eyes. But tonight her lips weren’t pink like they usually were. They were red. Bold, bright red that coated the fullness of her lips and made me remember exactly what it had been like to kiss her.
She was wearing a body hugging black skirt and a wide leopard print belt with a huge buckle in the center. The black shirt had sleeves, but was off the shoulders. The shirt, coupled with her pulled up hair, left a lot of skin to the eye.
For the first time ever, I wanted to be part of the in-crowd.
For the first time ever, jealousy spewed up the back of my throat like the cafeteria ladies’ mystery lunches.
“What are you wearing?” she gasped looking at me.
“I was just about to ask you the same thing.”
The surprised look I was starting to get used to seeing on her face appeared. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
“It shows too much skin,” I blurted out.
She made a face. “It’s the style.”
“I don’t like it.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. “Well your outfit looks… stupid!”
I lifted an eyebrow. “That’s the best you can do?”
“Shut up,” she snapped. Her hand pressed against my chest and she walked forward, shoving me back into my room.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
1982: Maneater (Love in the 80s #3) Page 6
