“Very funny,” she laughed. “How are you being selfish?”
“You’re hurting right now, and I can’t imagine leaving you to hurt all alone. I need to hold you in my arms.”
“Damn it, Gabe.” She laughed softly. “Don’t say things like that to me.”
“Why?”
“You make me believe in more. You make me feel like I am the most important person in the world.”
“You are to me.”
“You need to stop talking to me. When you return to Russia I’m going to have a hell of a time getting my head on straight again.”
“I already told you I’m not going anywhere.”
“Russia is your home. Eventually, you’ll return.”
He wanted to tell her that she was his home, but he didn’t want to upset her. He wanted to give her time to get to know him, trust him. “I’m not leaving.”
~ TEN ~
The instant Adam woke up with excruciating pain radiating through his entire body, he knew he was trapped in the nightmare that had haunted him for thousands of years. As he lifted his face to watch the sun descend behind the distant western mountain range, he longed for death to claim his last breath, but it wouldn’t. He couldn’t do a damn thing to protect his adoptive human family. At only eight years old, he was too small, too weak to save them. And yet, being immortal, he was too strong to die.
His entire body shivered uncontrollably. It was cold and, with a brisk breeze from the north increasing, it was getting colder. His father was the first to be killed. He was jealous of his father, for he had been spared the memory of his family’s violent end. He didn’t hear their cries for help, their sobs of agony. Even at such a young age, he didn’t see any reason to embrace life again. How could he want to live after witnessing such a horrific display of evil? He didn’t want to know evil existed. He didn’t want to know any mortal or immortal could be so cruel. Wrapping his arms around his legs, he clenched his jaw to stop his teeth from chattering and rested his chin on his knees.
He considered staying in that spot. He didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to see what remained of his family again. He wanted to forget. He had tried it before, but he always ended up wandering through the entire murder scene. He needed to get up. He needed to follow the steps he’d taken thousands of times before or the nightmare would simply continue. He lifted his face from his knees and got to his feet.
Slowly, with a trembling hand, he opened the door and stepped inside his family’s home as he had done thousands of times before. But unlike any other time, he wished more than anything to hear his mother’s voice scolding him for being late or for neglecting his chores.
When he reached his sister’s body, he stopped and dropped to his knees. He reached down and closed her eyes. “I am so sorry.” She’d been his constant companion, his best friend. They laughed and cried together many times. They shared secrets and ratted each other out. They spent countless hours plotting and striking out on adventures. He would never see her again. Her body had been torn apart. Her blood soaked the thick rugs on the floor. He crawled past her toward his mother, sloshing through the sticky wetness beneath him.
Tears blurred his vision as he looked down at his mother. She had always been a constant and reliable loving presence in his life. He pulled her long dark brown hair away from her face and placed his palm on her cheek. She was so cold. So pale. She was gone. He would never see her again. He would never hear her voice again. He didn’t want to leave her. He didn’t want to abandon her. But his stomach was rolling. He needed to get away from the foul odor of blood and death. He backed away from her slowly.
“Adam.” One second, Adam was in hell, wanting to look away from his mother’s ravaged corpse but unable to force his gaze from her. The next, Hanna whispered his name and led him out of the nightmare. He opened his eyes to find himself face to face with her.
“Was it real?”
He stared at her for a few seconds. “Did you follow me into a dream?”
“A nightmare.” She frowned. “Was it real, Adam?”
“It was a very long time ago.”
“You were so young. Your family…they were…I’m so sorry, Adam.” She paused. “I didn’t mean to invade your memory. I can’t control it. It just happens sometimes. And I shouldn’t ask so many questions.”
“It’s an amazing gift. Don’t apologize for having it. I don’t remember my biological parents. I don’t know if I have any biological siblings. I’ve searched for answers, but I’ve never been able to unearth any valuable information. My adoptive parents found me alone in a small oasis in Chara Sands when I was a few weeks old. They were human. They knew I was different. Back then immortal children were hunted and killed.”
“Children?”
“Yes.”
“That’s terrible. Why?”
“Fear. And power.”
“Where’s Chara Sands?”
“It’s a small desert in Siberia. It’s unlike any other desert I’ve seen. It’s surrounded by snow and ice-covered mountains.”
“It sounds unique.”
“It’s absolutely beautiful and tranquil. It’s amazing. A warm, dry, place side-by-side with the cold and ice.”
“Where did you go after they were killed?”
“I wandered.”
“Alone?”
“Don’t worry about it. I don’t.” Adam knew he’d hurt her feelings, but he didn’t want to talk about it. He wasn’t used to anyone feeling sorry for him. It made him feel extremely uncomfortable. He didn’t deserve pity. They died. He survived. For the first time since he was a child, he didn’t know what to do, what to say. “How’s your back?”
He saw the disappointment in her eyes. “It’s fine.”
“Let me look at it.”
She rolled over onto her belly, turning her face away from him. He sat up and lowered the blanket. He moved his hand down her back and back up. He needed to touch her, to feel the warmth of her soft skin.
“Is it gone?”
“Yes.”
“For good?”
“It won’t return.”
“Thank you.” She sat up on the edge of the bed and stretched. He knew she’d fully withdrawn from him.
“I should get my own room.”
“This is your room now.”
She glanced over her shoulder. “I can’t just stay with you.”
Like hell, she couldn’t. “I said it’s your room.”
“No. I don’t want to invade your space.”
“You aren’t.” He smiled. “You couldn’t if you tried. This is the safest place for you to stay for now.”
“Why?”
“The entire suite is safeguarded. Nothing can get inside unless I allow it.”
“That’s not what I meant. I want the truth. I want to know why you are helping me.”
“You’re my mate.” She felt his gaze caressing her, slowly moving over her skin like a smoldering fire.
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true.”
“That has nothing to do with why you’re getting involved. I understand what it means to be a demon’s mate. I also understand why you reject the thought of being stuck with a mate.” She wrapped the sheet around her and stood up. “I know you plan to send me on my way once you feel I am safe.”
He stood in front of her, crowding her, heating her. “I did. Not anymore. I was lying to myself. I could never walk away from you.”
“You want to.”
“No.”
She lifted her head and met his gaze, her body hot and achy. She wanted to get closer to him. She needed to get the hell away from him. She clenched the sheet in one fist and pressed her other palm flat on his chest and pushed him, but he didn’t budge an inch. “Stop.” He didn’t even seem to notice her attempt to move him away. “You know I’m not what you want.”
He didn’t respond. He simply looked down at her, something dark and dangerous smoldering in his gaze. He bent his hea
d, his mouth hovering over hers. His heart beating hard and fast against her palm. Her breath caught in her lungs. No. Not dangerous. Desire smoldered in his eyes. Dark desire. A ravenous hunger for her. A rising hunger, a primitive need to take possession of her body and soul. Her body reacted to his desire with heat and need, with desire as powerful as his.
“You need to stop, Adam.” She needed to feel his touch, his body against hers. She couldn’t stop thinking about him. She needed him. Now. Desperately. She needed him.
His lip slowly lifted into a smile that was sexy enough to cause her entire body to tingle. “I know you are uncomfortable with the idea of a demon invading your private thoughts. Unless you’re in danger, I won’t do it without your consent. Since I am unable to read your thoughts to understand what is bothering you, I need you to be specific. Tell me what you would like me to stop doing.”
He was telling the truth. It wasn’t him. Even though he could easily get in her mind and influence her thoughts and emotions, he wasn’t doing it. She felt his desire because he was fully open to her. Her body was responding to his thoughts. “I don’t know.” She was so confused. She couldn’t be attracted to him. Something was seriously wrong with her. How could she, after suffering years of abuse from demons, feel such deep desire for one? “Nothing.”
His hand very gently circled her throat and his thumb lifted her chin, forcing her to look in his eyes. “I know you’re hiding something from me. I know it’s bothering you. You can tell me anything.”
“I am just so…oh, damn.” Turned on. She swallowed hard. Aroused. Her body was completely, insanely aroused, wanting him, needing him. She was on fire, burning up with lust. She stared up at his handsome face, her heart racing as she lowered and narrowed her gaze on his sensual mouth until she could almost feel his lips on hers.
Adam struggled against the urge to invade her privacy by looking in her mind for the source of her distress. He wouldn’t last much longer. He naturally needed to deal with whatever was bothering her. “Look at me, Hanna.”
She lifted her gaze to his. “It’s a mistake.” She paused. “It’s so wrong.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I shouldn’t want you.”
Keeping his mouth from parting in a smile wasn’t an easy feat, but he managed to keep a straight face to avoid upsetting her even more. “It’s perfectly natural for you to want your mate.”
“Damn it, Adam,” she hissed between clenched teeth, clearly irritated. “You don’t understand. I wish it were a matter as silly as just wanting you. I could deal with that. You’re a visually appealing man. You’re sort of sexy. I’m…”
“Sort of?” he interrupted.
“Fine. Too damn sexy. Lethal sexy. Braincell frying sexy. I’m sure many women find you attractive. You saved me. You help me in ways I’m sure I’ll never be able to repay, but I shouldn’t want anything to do with you. I should be running from you right now.”
“Why?”
“I know too damn well what you are capable of doing if I piss you off. And yet, what I am experiencing right now is a million times worse than just wanting you.”
Her confession nearly caused his heart to stop. It also caused every ounce of his blood to rush straight to his cock. He was instantly, and painfully hard as a damn rock. “It is?”
“My entire body is….no. We can’t be together. I’ll kill you.”
“You’ve been through a terrible ordeal.”
“He was here in this room with me last night.”
“He can’t get in here.”
“He was here. He will use me to kill you.”
“It wasn’t real. You had a terrible fever.”
“It doesn’t matter if you believe me. He will use me to kill you for him. And we both know you won’t protect yourself against me.”
“His days are numbered. It’s only a matter of time before I find him. He is the one who will die.”
“I need you with every single fiber of my being. I need you, Adam.”
“But do you trust me?” For some damn reason, he needed to know.
Her eyebrows came together as she stared at his face. “What?”
Being a glutton for punishment, he breathed in deep, drawing her scent into his lungs. “You heard me.”
“You’re a demon.”
“I am.”
“How could you ever expect me to trust you?”
Being a mate was not as easy as he’d once imagined. Not that he’d given it much thought. His body was aching like a son of a bitch. Her body was the only cure. But he couldn’t be with her until she trusted him. He wouldn’t. He was going to hate himself for being stubborn, but he wouldn’t take her body until he knew he had her trust. “In time, I hope like hell, you will learn to trust me.”
“You don’t want me?”
“My mind is open to you. You know how desperately I want you. You know I need you, but I will not take your body until I’ve gained your trust.”
There was a small silence. “I will never trust you, Adam. I can’t.”
He bent his head and kissed her gently, tenderly. “Never is a very long time. I believe you’re wrong. But if not, I will be right here doing my damnedest to gain your trust.”
“Are you serious?”
“I am yours. Fully. Forever. I belong to you.”
She linked her hands behind his neck and pulled him to her. She brushed her lips across his. Her teeth nipping his lips. Her tongue teasing his lips. “I need more than words right now.”
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her deep into his embrace. “I love you. I want you. I need you. I happily lived alone for a very long time. I never even imagined wanting to share my life with anyone, but I need to share it with you.”
“I don’t understand how that’s a problem.”
“It’s not a problem. I need your trust. We can’t take this too far until I’ve earned it.”
“You can’t. You’ll always be a demon.”
“You’re everything to me.” He smiled. “And one day I’ll prove it to you.”
“You’re making everything too difficult.”
He bent his head to give her a slow, sensual kiss, and then, brow-to-brow, he held her gaze captive. “I need you.” He took a deep breath, kissed her lips, and then leaned down near her ear. “I need you desperately, but I love you,” he said as he kissed her earlobe, “too much to rush things. We belong together. You’re my heart and soul. I’ll never let you go.”
“You don’t really know me, Adam. You can’t possibly love…” he bent his head and silenced her with a kiss that went on and on.
****
Erebus had come close to killing Demetri, but close wasn’t good enough. He needed to kill him. Now that they’d come face to face, it wouldn’t take Demetri long to figure out who he was. He approached Kazimir from behind.
Kazimir spun around to face him. “You’re dead.”
“Am I?” Erebus asked.
“What do you want?”
“I want to know why you haven’t killed Adam yet?”
“It’s none of your business.”
Erebus laughed. “You haven’t killed him because you can’t.”
“He’ll die soon enough.”
“That’s right because we are going to work together to kill him.”
“Forget it.” Kazimir shook his head. “I am not working with you. I know what happens to your collaborators.”
“It isn’t a request. You’ll do as I say, or I’ll destroy you.”
“Why do you care about Adam?”
“He has something that belongs to me.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“I need you to create a little diversion.”
“By doing what?” Kazimir asked.
“You’re going to direct your little mob of fighters to strike the hotel,” Erebus explained.
“Hell no. I won’t do it. The place belongs to Joseph Payne.”
“You want m
e to destroy you?”
“No.”
“What do you know about Gabe Serafin?”
“The firedragon?”
“Yes.” Erebus nodded “Does he have any weaknesses?”
“I have been informed that he has recently taken an interest in a human female.”
“Who?”
“Larissa Farley. She runs the hotel with Joseph.”
“She’s human?”
“Fully.”
“Firedragons don’t take interest in human females unless…”
“She’s his mate,” Kazimir blurted, cutting Erebus off. “She has to be his mate, right?”
“That’s right.” Erebus knew Gabe would rush to defend her. In a moment of crisis, he would be entirely focused on doing whatever it took to save her. Later, after he dealt with Adam and Hanna, he would come up with a plan to use Larissa to destroy Gabe. “I want you to stage an attack on her.”
“Whoever I send will die.”
“Then I suggest you choose wisely.”
“I can’t afford to throw any of my soldiers away.”
“If they were worth a damn you wouldn’t already consider them dead.”
“Gabe is a damn firedragon.”
“Shall I kill you now and send your soldiers to the slaughter.”
“I’ll send them.”
“Right away.”
“It would be better to wait until the morning. It’s her day off. My men have kept track of her. She always heads to the pool on her days off.”
“It’s in the basement, right?”
“Yes.” Kazimir smiled. “What do you plan to do to Adam while Gabe is killing my men?”
“What makes you believe I have any need to provide you with details?”
“I am sending my soldiers to their deaths for you.”
“No. You’re sending them to save your sorry ass.”
“If you’re planning to go after Adam in the hotel, Joseph will be a problem,” Kazimir explained.
“How so?”
“He has the entire building surrounded by powerful, deadly safeguards and traps.”
“Safeguards and traps that I can easily tweaked to use to my advantage.”
“Not his.”
INSATIABLE BREATH OF DARKNESS Page 13
