His gaze roamed over me from head to toe, and awareness filled his eyes, shedding some of the fear I spotted there. “I was like you.”
“A medium?” I could’ve told him outright that I had known him. That we all knew him, but I didn’t think it wise. I thought it might only confuse him, since he wouldn’t remember us anyway. Thus, the frustrating part of ghosts.
From what I’d seen, some remembered more about their past over time if given the chance to. I thought, for Wayde’s sake, it was best he didn’t remember. Perhaps I didn’t want him to. Maybe even, I’d rather him not have to settle his wrongdoings with me.
In fact, I wanted him to cross over and get out of my life.
Wayde finally sighed and, after a deep swallow, he continued with a soft voice, “Sammy didn’t believe me when I told him I sensed spirits. He wanted me to get help.” Wayde’s bottom lip quivered. “The hospital…they would’ve locked me away. I would’ve lost everything.”
I didn’t even recognize this man in front of me. He looked like a frightened, seven-year-old boy. I also wanted to point out how stupid that line of thinking was. How stupid all murders were that had been caused for personal reasons because they did lose everything. It always came back to bite them in the ass—always.
Well, maybe even more so now because I could talk to the ghosts to solve their cold cases. But I didn’t feel the need to point that out and stayed quiet as Wayde went on. “Sammy was all I had…and even he thought I was crazy.” Wayde glanced down at the grass—his eyes widened as he noticed how he floated—and he whispered, “I didn’t mean to do it…it just happened. I was so scared I’d be labeled insane.”
Part of me—a small part, but still a part—almost felt bad for Wayde. His abilities had ruined his life. At one time, I thought mine had, too. I could sympathize with Wayde.
The difference between him and me was I had friends around me like Caley who believed me. What would have happened if she hadn’t when I first told her I talked to ghosts? Would I have been put in an institution?
While I could never agree with what Wayde had done to Sammy or Alexander, seeing him like this was almost a full-circle moment for me. While my life had been crazy, it could’ve been a whole lot worse.
Of course, I would never have killed anyone, but Wayde had gone to the only person he trusted and loved, Sammy. What if Caley had turned her back on me when I told her what I could do?
I shuddered, not even wanting to think about it.
What if I hadn’t met Kipp, who had forced me to stop ignoring my gifts and made me expose myself to Max, Zach, and Eddie? What if I hadn’t had this support system around me?
Inconceivable.
Regardless of the horrible acts that Wayde was responsible for, my heart reached out to him. I’d been where he had been, only I had people around me who, in the end, believed me.
Wayde finally lifted his head, tears flooding his eyes, completely wretched in misery. “I’m sorry.”
Sure, he needed to say that to free his soul, but his sorry sounded good, even if it wasn’t directed at me. I figured he’d be probably saying it anyway if he realized what he had wanted to do to me.
I hesitated a moment, but since he wasn’t crossing over yet, and from what I already knew, I gave him another push to cleanse his soul. “Who else did you kill?”
“Alexander.” More tears rushed along his cheeks. “He…” Wayde shook his head in clear confusion. “He wanted...” Then clarity filled his expression as he stared at me. “You. He wanted to bring you here…with your gifts…you would’ve found Sammy.” His breath hitched. “Yes, that’s right—I couldn’t allow you to come. You would’ve seen Sammy’s ghost. He was here…with me this whole time. You would’ve found out my past and my life…it’d be ruined.”
Why my heart was breaking now was completely beyond me, but it shattered. Wayde had only wanted a family, a place where he belonged, and to be surrounded by people who understood him, and when he finally had that, it was too late.
The damage had been done.
I shut my eyes, inhaling the warm night air, wanting this all to be over. When someone cleared their throat behind me, I opened my eyes to Wayde, who continued to gaze at me weakly.
While he made the connection of who I was, he still hadn’t realized the extent of what he had wanted to do to me. I didn’t want him to remember. I wanted him to cross over. Nothing he could say was anything I didn’t already know, and I suspected one simple question would provide the final piece to his admission. “Where can we find your body?”
This, I thought, was the underlying reason he needed forgiveness. Without his body, there would be no punishment. With his body, he would be labeled Sammy’s killer, who then took his own life.
Everyone would know the truth about him. He could no longer hide behind a false identity, and that’s what needed to be settled. Ownership for what he’d done, not forgiveness for it.
Wayde hesitated before he looked over his shoulder, and then turned to me again. “About five minutes into the forest, behind the cemetery.”
Which only confirmed that my assumption the gun shot had been Wayde taking his own life was true. But I couldn’t think too long on that as a light shimmered around Wayde’s feet, working its way up his legs.
Wayde watched and looked mildly confused, as if he hadn’t expected a light to come but something far darker. Even I hadn’t figured out where people who did bad things went when they crossed over. Did they burn in Hell? Or did they go somewhere much more peaceful?
I suspected a soul probably received a different type of punishment, one I expected would shock me, because heck, most things in the mystical world shocked me stupid. I’d given up a long time ago trying to figure it all out, and settled on, I was just glad the job wasn’t left up to me.
As the brightness grew around Wayde, becoming the piercing white light, I wondered what to say. Usually, with most ghosts, I would wish them well. Instead, I realized I wasn’t the one who needed to say anything and as the light grew brighter, I turned to Amelia. “Wayde’s leaving now.”
Amelia rushed to my side and, shocking the hell out me, took my hand and squeezed it. “Thank you, Tess.” Turning to where I’d been looking and clearly intending to stare at Wayde, she added, “Jacob—find the peace, happiness, and acceptance you couldn’t find here.” Her voice lowered to a soft tone laced with sadness. “Alexander would want that for you.”
Wayde’s eyes widened at her acknowledgment of him, even if he didn’t realize she couldn’t actually see him. Or maybe what shocked him was her acknowledgement of Alexander.
His lips parted to respond, but the light flicking around his body increased and, if he had talked, it made no sound. The light turned even brighter, until poof, he vanished, with the same eerie silence around me.
When all that remained was the dark night and starry sky, I exhaled a long breath, squeezing Amelia’s hand. “He’s gone.”
Right then, another hand took up mine, holding far more firmly. I glanced sideways at Caley. She smiled at me tightly, but there were tears in her eyes, and her hand was trembling over mine.
I snorted, totally confused. “Seriously? You’re crying about Wayde?”
She shook her head, her features filling with an emotion I couldn’t understand. “Just breathe.”
My nose scrunched. “I am breathing.”
Tires squealed off in the distance and Caley glanced over my shoulder, and I followed her gaze to the driveway. One minute I stood there holding Amelia’s hand. The next, Caley was dragging me forward.
When we neared the house again and approached the driveway, I spotted the cops on the porch taking notice of the driveway, too. That’s when I caught sight of the car tearing down the laneway at excessive speeds.
Only a second later, and after another squeal of its tires, the car stopped.
Caley wrapped both her hands around my one and her voice sounded so shaky, so taut with emotion. “Breathe, Tess.”
>
“What…” My heart raced as I watched Zach, Max, and Eddie all running toward the car, screaming and yelling with elation in their voices.
Car doors opened in a swift move, and when two bodies exited, I realized why Caley had told me to keep breathing because I, in fact, didn’t hold the ability to breathe any longer.
Kipp’s brother, Brandon, strode toward Max, smiling from ear-to-ear. But he didn’t hold my focus, the man next to him was all I could see. The man who stared at me with eyes that held an emotion that currently ripped through my body, urgency.
Caley dropped my hands and I stood, motionless. I watched under the glow of the light from the porch as Kipp hugged Eddie, and then repeated the move with Max. I could hear them crying out in joy and could even see tears on all their faces.
They can see him…
He’s touching them…
Chapter Seventeen
I couldn’t move.
Yes, I knew this was happening and was real, but it seemed as if my mind couldn’t process it. I could only gape as Kipp released Max, and moved onto Zach. His eyes never left mine as he took Zach into a fierce hug. Then he glanced away for one second to say something I couldn’t hear as he clasped Zach on the shoulder.
Whatever Kipp said must’ve been funny, since Zach barked a laugh before he looked to me.
Kipp made him laugh…
Zach heard him…
He gave Zach’s shoulder another squeeze, saying something to the group, earning a few chuckles from even Brandon. Then Kipp turned all his attention on to me. Everyone and everything around me faded. Even the house, the swamp, and all the little details of the night couldn’t register in my mind as Kipp approached.
As a ghost, Kipp portrayed strength.
As a man, he exuded power.
Each step he took didn’t look rushed or clumsy. It shone with purpose and conviction to get to me. His shoulders were high. His body displayed a strength that for the very first time, made all the promises of wanting to keep me safe true.
This man could protect me.
My breath left my lungs in a loud huff, and I sucked the air right back in, still unable to move. I wanted to run to him, scream for him to hurry, but my feet were glued to the grass below. My voice was lost to me now. My body shook, vibrated with such emotion it needed to be released. But there I stood, waited, didn’t even blink, as each second seemed like a lifetime.
As he drew closer—nearly at me now—goose bumps rose on my skin, but not for reasons they used to when Kipp came near. The air wasn’t cold around me. Warmth enveloped me. A low hum sounded in my ears and only the rhythm of my heartbeat in my ears provided any noise.
When Kipp finally reached me, he stopped so our bodies were almost touching, but he didn’t move close.
He waited.
Stared into my eyes.
Not saying a word.
The side of his mouth curved, softening his blue eye and warming the brown. I watched his hand move, seeing it coming toward me. When his fingers slid across my cheek, I startled and gasped. He remained silent and eyed his hand as it brushed over my face. Then he tangled his fingers within my hair, jerking slightly.
I inhaled a sharp breath, feeling the tight hold.
Maybe that’s why he’d done it. Perhaps I’d been in shock and couldn’t believe it. But the slight sting on my scalp was indication to me this was real. Kipp never believed in coincidences, but this was a prime example that sometimes they did happen.
Amelia had been wrong.
Nettie had been right.
I had saved him.
All of what we’d been through, and all of the hell we’d experienced, rushed into me so quickly and intensely I collapsed, dropping to my knees. Kipp instantly followed, wrapping his arms around me in a fierce grip. I inhaled his masculine scent, mixed with the strong antibacterial scents I’d noted so long ago in the hospital.
He whispered in my ear, “I’m here.”
His warm breath along my face made more tears rush down my cheeks, and on my exhale, I broke into a harsh sob. I cried so deeply it physically hurt, and breathing became difficult.
I didn’t cry for only this moment, but for all the moments—every single second of hell we’d been through leading to now.
Earlier tonight, and even with Gretchen, I realized how much I appreciated my new family more because I had lost my real family. Now, I realized how much more I appreciated the feeling of Kipp’s arms around me.
We had earned this moment.
His arms around me weren’t a simple embrace. It was a longing that we both had suffered, and that had now been fulfilled. His hold tightened—his warm, thick arms caging me—and he pulled me onto his lap.
I wrapped my arms around his neck with all the power I could muster, straddling him. My sobs were hard, harder than I had ever cried in my life, so deep and powerful. I wasn’t only crying for the present, but shedding my pain for the past, too.
Finally given the right to breakdown, I crashed and tumbled into all my pain. I allowed myself for the first time to feel all we’d been through. To recognize all the scary moments, and even the sad ones, and to know that it’d all been worth it.
Now it was over.
Kipp remained silent as I sobbed for what seemed like a lifetime, and after I gained the ability speak somewhat coherently, I lifted my head from his neck. Tears were in his eyes, too. I cupped his face and I didn’t even know what to say. How could I possibly explain what I experienced now?
I finally settled on the one thing that truly mattered. The one thing I had longed to hear him promise. The only truth that we both wanted to find, yet always seemed so far away. “Never let me go.”
Kipp leaned in, nose-to-nose. “I never will.” Then his mouth was sealed over mine and he kissed me with the rawness we both endured.
His fingers tightened in my hair, dragging me closer, and I couldn’t get close enough. I cried against his lips as he kissed me. I whimpered against each brush of his mouth. He possessed me with the firm declaration that we belonged together. I sank deeper into his claim, welcoming and relishing in it.
While some kisses brought pleasure and heat, this wasn’t about that. This was a connection of two bodies yearning to feel, and to experience the simplicity of touch and to solidify love in the most natural form.
Kipp’s lips burned across mine and he tugged me even closer, wrapping his hands around my cheeks and demanding more out of the kiss. I gripped his shirt and whimpered against his mouth, and then a low sound hummed from his throat and he gave me what I needed.
His kiss stopped time.
When he finally leaned away from me, the burn on my lips from his scruffy face indicated we’d been kissing a while. His uniquely colored eyes captured mine and he chuckled, as one eyebrow arched. “I’m not opposed to an audience, but I’m guessing you wouldn’t agree.”
I laughed softly, realizing we weren’t alone and we were doing a lot of kissing. I peeked over Kipp’s shoulder to find all of our friends standing around us, trying not to look, of course.
Max glanced at the grass and everyone else looked everywhere but at us. Dane and Amelia both stared at each other, while Gretchen gazed up at the stars. I continued to chuckle, and with now warm cheeks, I squirmed off Kipp.
I stood on shaky legs, and he immediately jumped to his feet, gathering me into his arms. Yeah, I got that, too. I doubted we’d let go of each other for a while, probably in fear that one of us would vanish. Maybe, too, because touching made this real between us.
My eyes were scratchy and slightly dry from all the crying I’d done, as I stared up at Kipp, my living-breathing Kipp, and regarded him. His messy hair fell over his eyebrow, and he’d never looked sexier with that curve to his mouth. “So, you look pretty good for a guy who’s risen from the dead.”
His eyes flared with heady emotion….and something much more intoxicating. “Trust me, sexy…” He pressed his groin against my hip, ensuring I felt the hardness of h
is erection. “Nothing about my body is dead now.”
The offer to go somewhere private was right there and ready for me to grab it. I nearly did. But I also remembered…again…we were not alone. I restrained the flutter in my belly and I glanced out, spotting Caley. She sobbed in Zach’s arms as he hugged her from behind.
She looked about ready to explode with squinted eyes, her teeth gnawing at her lip. Instead of watching her fight against herself, I gave her the right I knew she was dying to hear. “It’s okay, Caley, you can—“
Rushing out of Zach’s arms, and in two-point-two seconds, she was hugging both Kipp and I. “I’m so happy.” After a hard squeeze, making me suck in a deep breath, she leaned away and her teary gaze went straight to Kipp.
She gave him a slow once-over before she winked at him. “Hmm…so, this is what all the fuss has been about.” She poked his muscular bicep, and then grinned wickedly at me. “Okay, now I get it.”
Kipp shook in silent laughter behind me and I chuckled, too, totally understanding. This was the first time Caley had actually seen Kipp. Well, besides a photo, of course, but they never really did him justice.
Zach gathered Caley in his arms, drawing her in close. “Enough of that now. He is my partner, after all.”
She giggled at him before she looked to me with a warm, tender grin. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it mirrored the one I’d seen come from Alexander—so gentle. “It’s done, Tess. It’s finally over.”
I shivered at those words, almost as if I never thought I’d hear them and that we’d actually make it. Those words held so much more meaning than just words. Caley was right—it was over. But as I allowed myself to feel the happiness with that, I knew I needed to know what all happened.
I glanced up at Kipp, noticing the starry sky above him seeming clearer than it had before. When I focused on Kipp’s eyes, he appeared more composed and now returned into his tough guy intense look. “I called Brandon’s phone—like, a hundred times—and he never answered.”
Eternally Devoted (Frostbite #4) Page 12
