"Ma?" Josh said now.
And at the sound of his voice, Ellie's gaze jerked away from Rance. "Josh?" Panic flickered in her eyes as she looked wildly around. Then "Josh!" she exclaimed as she spotted him.
"He's okay," Rance said quickly. He started to go after her, then realized how bad he smelled and stayed back. "Just took a spill."
She ran to the back of the truck. "Josh! What happened? Are you—"
"'M all right, Ma," Josh said gruffly. He struggled to his feet.
Ellie looked at the way he was holding his arm and gave a small gasp. "Oh, Josh! What have you—I told you you didn't need to—"
"I did need to," Josh said in the same stubborn tone Rance had heard earlier. "You can't do everything yourself. But he—" and here the boy acknowledged Rance for the first time "—spooked a skunk, an' the skunk spooked Sunny an' Sunny took off—"
"Oh, Josh," Ellie said again. Her hands trembled as she reached for him. Before she could try to lift him down, Rance stepped in and helped the boy over the side of the truck, taking care not to jar his arm.
"You stink," the boy said.
"Tough."
Ellie didn't seem to care if he smelled, she just wanted her son. "Let me see," she insisted.
"It's okay. I'm fine," Josh said, twisting out of Rance's grasp.
But clearly Ellie didn't believe that any more than he had. She didn't contradict the boy, though, just hugged him gently and brushed at a smudge of dirt on his cheek.
He came up almost to her shoulder. He had the same slender, fine-boned build she had and the same smattering of freckles on his cheeks. Otherwise Rance thought he didn't look much like her. Josh's hair was a darker brown, his eyes a deep blue. Ellie's were still the deepest green Rance had ever seen. They used to twinkle when she was amused, or grow deep and reflective when she was concerned. She was concerned now, he could tell.
So were the other two boys who had come running up as he was helping Josh out of the truck. "Josh! What happened?"
"Josh! You okay?"
Then they caught a whiff of Rance and edged away. They were younger than Josh, but they had to be his brothers. If he didn't look like his mother, they did. Their eyes were pools of dark green jade. Their hair, too, was blond—lighter than Ellie's, though Rance supposed she might have been that fair when she was a child. They were as alike as peas in a pod.
But Rance didn't dwell on that. He dwelt on the fact that Ellie had three kids. God Almighty! Her rancher must keep her barefoot and pregnant with a vengeance, he thought. A muscle in his jaw ticked.
Just then the door to the house opened, and a little golden-haired girl came out. "Mommy, what's wrong with Josh?"
Four?! She had four kids? Rance gaped.
Ellie didn't notice. Her attention was still focused entirely on Josh. "I'll call the doctor," she was saying. "He can meet us at the clinic."
"I don't need a doctor, Ma!"
"Yes, you do."
"But I gotta get Sunny. What about Sunny?"
Rance saw a momentary flicker of worry in Ellie's eyes, but she didn't betray it in her tone when she spoke to Josh. "Don't worry about Sunny. He'll come home." She brushed a hand over the boy's dark hair, then seemed to give a small shudder. "I'm just glad he didn't come before you did. It would have been…" Her voice trailed off, and she shook her head helplessly.
"It wasn't," Josh said, his tone sharp. "It didn't happen, Ma. I told you, I'm fine."
Ellie seemed to give herself a little shake. "Of course you are," she said briskly. But still she blinked as if she was fighting off tears.
"He's not hurt that bad," Rance said.
Ellie started, as if she'd forgotten him. Now she slanted a glance his way. "Rance. Thank you, Rance."
It was the first time he'd heard his name on her lips in eleven years. A thousand women had spoken his name in the meantime. They'd called it, sung it, whispered it, caressed it. And not one of them had had the effect on him that Ellie had.
Still did.
How the hell annoying was that? He'd had women prowling around his life in droves for the past few months. Even before the damn article had come out, he'd had his share. He'd never given any of them a second glance.
As close as he'd come to lying awake thinking about a woman was when he'd been offered Poppy Hamilton on a plate.
He'd almost been tempted then—because Poppy, the daughter of matchmaking Judge George Hamilton, really was everything her father said—but she had also been in love with Shane. And seeing the two of them so screwed up in their love for each other, Rance realized how little interest he actually felt.
His disinterest in any particular woman was so enduring that he'd assumed it was natural.
To feel this sudden spark of desire, this desperate awareness, for Ellie of all people—the one woman who'd rejected him and married someone else!—made him furious.
Now he stiffened. "You're welcome," he said almost formally. Then he added, "He'll be all right. But in the future, I wouldn't be asking for a man's work from a boy his age."
"I didn't—"
"She can't do everything herself!" Josh cut in.
"Where's your husband?" Rance asked. "Don't tell me he got four kids on you, then up and left!"
His words, harsh and louder than he intended, seemed to echo in the sudden stillness in the valley. Josh's blue eyes went hard and dark as steel. The other boys stared at him, their mouths open. It was so quiet he could hear when Ellie drew an unsteady breath.
"He didn't leave us," she said. Her gaze flickered up to meet Rance's for an instant before focusing on something beyond him. "Not intentionally. He's dead."
Oh, hell. Oh, God. A million desperate thoughts tumbled through Rance's mind, each less helpful than the last. He ducked his head, scuffed his boot in the dirt, then looked straight into her eyes.
"I didn't mean—" he broke off. His gaze dropped again. "I'm sorry, Ellie," he said.
She didn't answer for a moment. He couldn't blame her. What was she supposed to say? That's all right?
It wasn't all right. He'd acted like an ass!
She could say that, he supposed, and it would only be the truth.
"You know my mom?" Josh's accusing voice broke into the silence.
Both he and Ellie stiffened, then looked at the boy. Josh was frowning and still obviously angry at Rance's dig at his father. As, of course, he had a right to be.
Since Ellie didn't answer, Rance nodded. "I knew your mother in college."
Josh's gaze swung to meet his mother's. She ran a hand over her hair distractedly. "That's right. We did know each other. Once," she added. "A very long time ago."
Which put him very effectively in his place. But Rance couldn't really blame her. Under the circumstances he deserved it.
"I'll look for your horse," he said.
Ellie's gaze swiveled to meet his. Her eyes widened. Her mouth tightened. He could see the "thanks, but no thanks" coming.
"It's the least I can do," he said quickly to forestall it. "Really. I'd be glad to help, but I'll need to grab a shower first."
No invitation to use the O'Connor bathroom was immediately forthcoming. In fact, Ellie didn't say anything at all. She just looked at him for a long moment. He had no idea what she was thinking. Wasn't sure he wanted to know.
Finally Josh said, "Let him catch Sunny, Ma. He oughta help." The look on his face said that Rance ought to have to look long and hard, too.
"It's not necessary," Ellie objected. "The skunk may have startled him, but Sunny is old and not terribly adventurous. I'm sure he'll come home."
Rance was sure he would, too. But something in him wouldn't let him just turn and walk away. Was it because of what he'd said about Ellie's husband? Was it because he felt more than ever a need to make amends? Or was it some odd sense of unfinished business between them?
She'd never told him she didn't love him.
She'd never really said goodbye.
Whatever it was, he con
tinued to press. "Fine, he'll come home. But I still owe you, Ellie. I'll watch your kids."
"What? No!" She looked horrified.
"Not forever," Rance said quickly. God forbid! "Just while you take Josh to the doctor."
"Oh." She looked slightly mollified, but still she shook her head. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not?"
"Yeah, why not?" Josh said, just a little belligerently.
"Because … because…" Ellie was grasping at straws, and both she and Rance knew it.
"You need to concentrate on Josh," Rance said to her gently. "Don't you?"
She looked at the boy, still holding his arm hard against his body, and her eyes shuttered for a moment. Then she looked back at Rance, and Rance saw from the look in her eyes that the answer was yes.
It was pretty clear that Ellie's attention was spread so thin that nothing got her undivided attention anymore. Not the ranch, not the cattle, not even her children.
Rance wondered how long ago her husband had died. From the look of things, it had been a while. As he glanced around now, he could see painting that needed to be done, fence that needed to be mended, a door on the barn that was listing to one side. He saw a ten-year-old who felt compelled to do a man's job, and even younger boys who were clearly intent on doing their share.
Another longer, deeper look at Ellie told him there was more to her than maturity now. Up close he could see lines of strain around her eyes. Tiny telltale creases bracketed the corners of her mouth. Some people got them from smiling. Ellie's might have begun that way, but Rance thought it a good bet that pain was what was etching them deeper now.
For one short moment he wanted to take her into his arms and soothe her, comfort her, tell her he was here now and that all her troubles would go away.
Yeah, right.
And she wasn't even inclined to want to let him use her bathroom to take a shower.
What the hell had he ever done to make her so mad at him? When he'd gone to Ireland that summer, he'd thought they'd parted on good terms. She'd been sad, of course. She'd held him, hugged him hard and she'd looked longingly at him as he'd headed for the plane. She'd stayed waiting as long as he'd been able to see her.
But in the end she was the one who hadn't come back.
She was the one who'd got married and had never bothered to tell him! She'd let him down, not the other way around!
He turned hard eyes on her now and waited, almost daring her to turn him away.
Finally she gave a jerky nod. "All right. Thank you. That's very kind."
Kind? He wasn't being kind damn it! But he couldn't say so. Couldn't say any of the things he was thinking. Not in front of her kids.
So he gritted his teeth. "My pleasure," he said through them. "Do you mind if I have a shower?"
She blinked.
"As your son said so bluntly, I stink."
The kids all giggled. Ellie flushed. "Of—of course. Daniel will show you the bathroom." She nodded toward one of the pea-pod boys.
Rance looked at them. "Which one of you is Daniel?"
"Me," the one on the left said. He had a tiny scar just above his eyebrow. It was the only difference Rance could see.
"I should have introduced you," Ellie said quickly while Rance reached inside the cab and grabbed his duffel with clean clothes in it. "You've obviously met Josh. These two are Daniel and Caleb. They're eight. And this—" she drew forward the little girl who'd come up to them while they were talking "—is my daughter, Carrie. She's four."
Rance looked down at this miniature version of Ellie and felt some odd, unknown emotion squeeze his heart.
"Hi, there," he said to the little girl who clutched a well-worn bear in a cowgirl outfit to her chest. He favored her with one of his world's-most-eligible smiles. "I'm Rance."
"He's Mr. Phillips," Ellie corrected firmly. "Say hello to Mr. Phillips, Carrie."
Carrie wrinkled her nose at the smell of him, but she managed a soft, "'Lo," around her knuckle. Then, clearly not charmed, she ducked back behind her mother again.
Rance gave Ellie a rueful smile. "She's very like you. They all are," he added. "Except Josh."
Ellie didn't reply. Instead she turned back to the boys. "Daniel, show Mr. Phillips the shower. I've got to call the doctor." And she headed toward the house, almost at a run.
This was no time to panic.
Just because at this very moment Rance Phillips was standing naked in her shower, that was no reason to lose it.
She was a sane, sensible, intelligent, adult woman, after all. She was almost thirty years old. She was the single surviving parent and sole support of four growing children. And she'd managed everything since Spike had died two years ago. Everything.
She was strong. She was determined. She was capable.
So why were her hands shaking? Why were her palms damp and her mouth dry? Why did she fumble and drop the phone as soon as she picked it up?
"Because your child is hurt," she told herself under her breath. And indeed a quick glance over her shoulder showed her that Josh's face was still as white as the porcelain sink.
He stood almost gingerly in the middle of the kitchen, cradling his arm and watching her with his father's eyes.
She dropped the phone again.
"I'm sorry, honey," she babbled, scrabbling to pick it up and trying to reassure Josh at the same time. "I'm just … worried."
"I told him you'd panic," Josh said, disgruntled.
Him. Rance.
"I'm not panicking!" If she said it often enough, Ellie wondered, would she believe it?
God, she hoped so. She could hear how shrill her voice was. She could feel her hands trembling even now as she stuck the receiver against her ear. Making herself focus, making herself say the numbers under her breath, finally she got the clinic's number dialed.
"This is Ellie O'Connor. Josh has been hurt. I'm bringing him right in!" Then she ran into the bedroom to get her purse and grab a sweater. "All set," she told Josh. "Let's go."
"Pick up some tomato juice while you're there."
She spun around to see a bare-chested, barefoot Rance standing in the doorway to the kitchen. He'd obviously showered. He wore only a pair of jeans. His dark hair was damp and spiky, and he had a towel slung around his shoulders. But it wasn't the towel her eyes were drawn to—or his hair. Not the hair on his head, anyway. She couldn't seem to take her eyes off his chest.
She'd lived for eleven years with memories of Rance Phillips's bare chest. Months went by sometimes when she didn't think of it—of him. Years went by—the good years when she was married to Spike—and she didn't remember it at all. She might, if she'd been asked, have said she'd forgotten what it looked like.
The memory came back real fast.
Present reality was more impressive than that. Broader and harder muscled than she remembered, Rance Phillips's chest could only be said to have improved with age. And damn, that was the last thing she should be thinking!
"T-tomato juice?" she croaked.
Rance nodded. "Soap isn't going to do it. I got the worst of the skunk washed off, but J.D., our foreman, once had a run-in with a skunk. Tomato juice neutralized the smell. At least that's what my old man said."
You're talking to your father these days? Ellie wanted to ask.
He hadn't been, eleven years ago. He hadn't been listening to his father, either. Rance had wanted nothing whatever to do with Trey Phillips and his demands and expectations then. And now?
She didn't ask.
"Could you pick me up a pair of boots, too? Ten D." He waggled a bare foot at her. "I'll write you a check. No way tomato juice is going to salvage mine."
Ellie nodded jerkily and ran her tongue over parched lips. "Of course." She started toward the door, then stopped, her gaze caught by the boots under the chair. Spike's boots. Josh wore them sometimes—just threw them on to go do chores. When he needed a reminder of his father.
She swallowed. "You can wear tho
se," she said, nodding to them now. "Until I get you another pair."
Rance's gaze followed hers. He looked at the boots for a long moment, obviously registering their size, obviously aware that they couldn't be hers or the kids'. "You sure?"
Ellie made herself nod. "Of course." Why not? It would be for the best. He couldn't wear them without remembering that she had left him, that she had married someone else. "Of course," she said again. Then, "Come on, Josh. You two keep an eye on Carrie," she said to the twins.
Carrie pulled her knuckle out of her mouth, clutched her bear to her chest and scrambled down out of the chair where she'd been sitting. "I wanta go, too, Mama." She looked back at Rance. "Don't wanta stay with him. He smells."
"But—"
One look at her daughter's stubborn chin and Ellie knew this wasn't a battle worth fighting. Carrie was a force. She was as determined as Spike had ever been—more stubborn than all the boys put together. If Carrie liked someone, she liked them with a passion. If she didn't, God help them.
And if she hadn't made up her mind—which Ellie suspected was the case with Rance—nothing on earth was going to help her do it but time and experience.
The last thing Ellie wanted was to give Carrie the time and experience to find out what a charmer Rance Phillips really was.
"Fine." She reached for her daughter's hand. "You come with me. These two won't bother you," she said to Rance. Caleb was only interested in numbers and Daniel in animals. That was safe enough.
"Never met anybody got sprayed by a skunk before." Caleb eyed Rance with a mixture of awe and respect.
"We'll find Sunny," Daniel added.
"You cannot go looking for Sunny," Ellie replied firmly. "I forbid it. If one of you two got hurt—"
"They won't get hurt," Rance cut in. "Go. Now. Josh needs the doc. And I—" he grinned wryly "—need that tomato juice."
It was a pure 100% Rance Phillips grin. Ellie hadn't forgotten that, either.
Don't! she begged silently. Please don't!
She grabbed Carrie by the arm, put a gentle hand on Josh's shoulder and steered both children toward the truck.
She didn't look back.
Cowboy on the Run Page 3
