by Rhys Bowen
Granddad stroked my hair as if I were a small child. “I expect you’ll keep turning up like a bad penny,” he said fondly.
Mummy appeared at the top of the stairs again. “Georgie, I’ve just had a brilliant idea. Noel suggested I write my autobiography. Won’t that raise some eyebrows!”
“Are you sure you should?” I started to laugh. “Won’t there be an awful lot of husbands who have to do some explaining to their wives?”
“Darling, I’ll be discreet. I’ll only include the really juicy ones. But listen to my brilliant idea. Why don’t you come to London with me and you can be my secretary. Can you use a typewriting machine?”
“I’m afraid I can’t.”
“No matter. I’ll buy you one and you can learn and I’ll scribble down my thoughts and you’ll tidy them up for me. How about it?”
“Sounds like fun,” I said.
I was fully aware as I said the words that working with my mother was not going to be easy. But living in a house in London, with proper heat and decent food, was definitely preferable to the only other alternative—time spent in a bleak Scottish castle with Fig. What’s more, I’d learn to use a typewriting machine and develop a real skill, more useful than where to seat a bishop at a dinner table. And I’d be in London, on the spot, the moment Darcy reappeared in the country. All in all, the future hadn’t looked brighter in a long while.
The next morning Sir Oswald, Lady Hawse-Gorzley and Bunty came out to see me off. The latter two hugged me fondly and begged me to come back soon. What an incredible stroke of luck that I’d seen that advertisement and dared to answer it, I thought as I waved through the rear window. The car took me and Queenie to the station and we caught the train going back to London. The Devon countryside flashed past the train window, with the snow-clad tors of Dartmoor in the background, until they merged into the Somerset lowlands and green fields, and Tiddleton-under-Lovey was just a memory.
The old-fashioned Christmas has almost disappeared, but if you’d like to re-create some of the things in this book, here are some recipes for games, food and fun.
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Christmas Recipes
Mince pies and sausage rolls are traditional Christmas snacks to be eaten warm when guests arrive, after caroling, while opening presents . . . anytime there isn’t a formal meal.
Mince Pies
In the old days people used to make their own mincemeat, which included real meat. Today it comes in a jar (Crosse & Blackwell mincemeat with rum or brandy is the best).
Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Make a shortcrust pastry dough (see recipe below). Roll out and cut into circles to fit into muffin pans. Fill half full with mincemeat. Cut smaller circles for tops and cover pies. Crimp edges shut. Brush with beaten egg, sprinkle with sugar. Bake for about 10 minutes or until golden. Cool and eat.
Shortcrust Pastry
In the old days, pastry was always made with lard. Today it’s more likely to be made with chilled butter or shortening.
4 oz butter
8 oz all-purpose flour
Ice water
Cut the butter into small cubes and rub into the flour with a fork until the mixture resembles coarse bread crumbs (you may also do this in a food processor). Gradually stir in ice water until the mixture binds together. Roll out on floured board.
Sausage Rolls
English sausage meat is not identical to US meat, as rusk filler is used (i.e. the sausage meat has some kind of starch added to bind the meat and retain the fat). The closest I can find is Jimmy Dean Premium Pork Sage Sausage.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Make shortcrust pastry as before. (You can also substitute sheets of puff pastry from the grocer’s freezer, but shortcrust is more authentic.) Roll out thinly. Make thin rolls of sausage meat. Wrap with pastry dough. Cut into segments about 2 inches long. Bake 15-20 minutes.
Bread Sauce
Goose used to be the traditional Christmas fowl, but today it is usually turkey. The stuffing for either bird is made either with sage or chestnuts, and is accompanied by a bread sauce.
12 cloves
1 large onion, peeled
1 1⁄4 cups whole milk
3 ⁄4 cup chicken stock
1 ⁄4 cup light cream
1 ⁄4 tsp nutmeg
1 bay leaf
5 peppercorns
Salt and pepper
2 cups fresh bread crumbs
1 ⁄4 cup (one half stick) butter
Stick cloves into the onion. Add milk, stock, cream and the other spices. Bring to boil. Remove and let rest for 1 hour. Strain the liquid through a sieve. Add bread crumbs. Cook, uncovered, until thick. Before serving, melt butter, stir sauce into it.
Christmas Pudding
(or Plum Pudding)
This is the highlight of any Christmas dinner. You can buy ready-made Christmas puddings, but some people feel it is a point of honor to make their own. It really has to be made several weeks before Christmas and left to mature. For this reason, the last Sunday in November used to be called Pudding Sunday.
PREP TIME: 45 MINUTES
COOK TIME: 8 HOURS
MARINATING TIME: 12 HOURS
TOTAL TIME: 20 HOURS, 45 MINUTES
SERVES 8–10
Butter to grease bowl
1 lb dried mixed fruit (such as golden raisins, black raisins and currants)
1 oz mixed candied citrus peel, finely chopped
1 small cooking apple, peeled, cored and finely chopped
Juice of 1⁄2 large orange and 1⁄2 lemon
4 Tbsp brandy, plus a little extra for soaking the finished pudding
2 oz self-raising flour, sifted
1 level tsp ground mixed spice or pumpkin pie spice mix
11⁄2 tsp ground cinnamon
4 oz shredded suet, beef or vegetarian meat substitute
4 oz soft, dark brown sugar
Grated orange and lemon zest
4 oz fresh white bread crumbs
1 oz whole shelled almonds, roughly chopped
2 large fresh eggs
Lightly butter a 21⁄2 pint pudding bowl. Place the dried fruits, candied citrus peel, apple, orange and lemon juice into a large mixing bowl. Add the brandy and stir well. Cover the bowl with a clean tea towel and leave at room temperature to marinate for a couple of hours, preferably overnight.
Stir together the flour, mixed spice, and cinnamon in a very large mixing bowl. Add the meat, sugar, lemon and orange zest, bread crumbs and nuts, and stir until all the ingredients are well mixed. Finally add the marinated dried fruits and stir again.
Beat the eggs lightly in a small bowl then quickly stir into the dry ingredients. The mixture should have a fairly soft consistency. Now it’s time to gather the family for the Christmas Pudding tradition of taking turns stirring, making a wish and adding a few coins.
Spoon the mixture into the greased pudding bowl, gently pressing it down with the back of a spoon. Cover with a double layer of greaseproof paper or baking parchment, then a layer of aluminum foil, and tie securely with string.
Place the pudding in a steamer set over a saucepan of simmering water and steam the pudding for 7 hours. Make sure you check the water level frequently so it never boils dry. The pudding should be a deep brown color when cooked. The pudding is not a light cake but is instead a dark, sticky, dense sponge.
Remove the pudding from the steamer and cool completely. Remove the paper, prick the pudding with a skewer and pour in a little extra brandy. Cover with fresh greaseproof paper and re-tie with string. Store in a cool dry place until Christmas Day.
On Christmas Day, reheat the pudding by steaming again for about an hour. Serve with brandy or rum sauce, brandy butter or custard.
Note: The pudding cannot be eaten immediately. It really does need to be stored and rested, then reheated on Christmas Day. Eating the pudding immediately after cooking will cause it to collapse and the flavors will not have had time to mature
.
Brandy Butter
1 ⁄2 cup butter
1 cup sugar
4 Tbsp light cream
4 Tbsp brandy
With an electric mixer, whisk butter until light and fluffy. Whisk in sugar. Whisk in cream. Whisk in brandy. Cover and chill. Delicious on top of Christmas pudding or mince pies.
Wassail Bowl
(or Smoking Bishop)
There are many hot punches associated with Christmas. The Smoking Bishop is mentioned in Charles Dickens’s
A Christmas Carol
. The recipes all involve spices and some include citrus. The simplest include beer or sherry; the more expensive include spirits.
The Bishop involves citrus brandy and fortified wines, but does not favor the addition of eggs. Citrus was considered an expensive ingredient. Wine and brandy would also be more accessible for the resident of a large hall.
One unpeeled orange
12–18 whole cloves
Brown sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
Pinch powdered cloves
Pinch mace
1 ⁄2 tsp allspice
1 ⁄2 tsp ground ginger
1 strip lemon peel
1 cup water
1 quart port wine
1 quarter cup brandy, heated
Nutmeg
Stud orange with whole cloves (you may also include a whole lemon baked and studded in the same manner). Place in dish and pack thickly with brown sugar. Roast in 350 degree oven until sugar caramelizes and forms a crust on the orange. Cut orange in quarters and place it in a punch bowl. Simmer remaining spices and lemon peel in the water until water is reduced by half. Heat the port wine until hot, but not boiling. Combine spiced syrup, wine and heated brandy in punch bowl with the orange, and sprinkle with nutmeg to taste.
Note: Some recipes delete the brandy and nutmeg. To make this an Archbishop, substitute claret or table wine for the port.
Round Games Around The Table
THE MINISTER’S CAT
A clapping rhythm is established. The chant begins, “The minister’s cat is a . . . cat.”
The first person chooses an adjective beginning with A. The next B.
The minister’s cat is an active cat.
The minister’s cat is a beautiful cat.
The minister’s cat is a cheerful cat.
It continues until someone cannot come up with a word in time. That person is then out and the game continues until one person remains. If the whole alphabet has gone through and there are still players in contention, then of course it starts over . . . or they agree to move on to another game, as below.
I WENT TO MARKET
A similar game. The first player says, “I went to market and I bought a . . .”
The first begins with A, the second with B.
I went to market and I bought an apple.
I went to market and I bought an apple and a balloon
I went to market and I bought an apple, a balloon and a cat.
When a player can’t remember the list, he or she is out.
Party Games
BLIND MAN’S BLUFF
One player is blindfolded and spun around. The others mill around the room. The blindfolded one tries to catch someone. When he does, he has to identify who it is. If he is successful, the person he caught now becomes the blindfolded one.
GRAB THE STICK
Players sit in a circle. They are each given a name of an animal or a place. The person in the middle balances a walking stick upright on the floor. He calls out a name. That person has to leap up and grab the stick before it falls. If he doesn’t succeed he becomes the new person in the middle.
GENERAL POST
This a similar game to Grab the Stick. Everyone picks a place name from a hat. The person in the middle calls out two place names. Those two have to change places before the one in the middle can claim either seat. If he is successful, the one caught out takes his place in the middle.
SARDINES
One person goes off to hide. The rest of the players split up and try to find him. The first person to find him hides with him. The next person to find the two hidden ones joins them, and the next, all crammed in together. The last person to find them all is the new hider.
STATUES
Couples dance. When the music stops, the couples have to freeze in place. A judge goes around the room. Any couple who moves, even a twitch, is out. The dancing resumes until only one couple is left standing.
Christmas Traditions and Definitions
THE YULE LOG
On Christmas Eve’ a large log is dragged into the fireplace. It is lighted and kept burning throughout the holiday to bring good luck for the coming year.
CRACKERS
Not the edible kind. These are now available in America in many stores. They are made of paper and have a small explosive, similar to a cap for a cap gun, in the middle. They are pulled by two people. When they are pulled apart they split with a bang and the insides spill out. Each one usually contains a paper hat, a riddle and a small toy, puzzle or gift.
INDOOR FIREWORKS
Sparklers are the only remnant of indoor fireworks still available these days. Other indoor fireworks were pieces of paper that were lit on the hearth. Some curled as they burned and turned into snakes, others traced a pattern of a face or animals as they burned. Others made noise.
CHRISTMAS PUDDING
The traditional plum pudding (see recipe on page 303) is cooked with silver charms inside. Each charm has a meaning. A ring means a wedding within a year. A boot means travel. A button means a bachelor for life. The pudding is served with a sprig of holly at the top, then doused with brandy so that it can be carried in a flaming Wassail Bowl.
WASSAIL BOWL
Various punches are associated with Christmas. They usually include some kind of mulled wine, spirits and spices. The Wassail Bowl was served to groups of carolers who came to the front door.
CHRISTMAS CAROLING
It was traditional to go caroling to neighbors’ houses. Children who sang carols at the door were given a penny or other small amount of money.
BOXING DAY
The day after Christmas is still celebrated in Britain and Commonwealth countries. It is traditionally the day when servants were allowed to go home to celebrate with their own families and were given a “Christmas box”—maybe some food from the household, some other kind of gift or money. More recently tradesmen, garbage men, mail carriers, etc., would show up at the door on the day after Christmas to wish the homeowner “the compliments of the season” and would expect a tip.
Until recently no stores or businesses were open on Boxing Day. Alas, this has gone away with most of the other lovely Christmas customs.
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Rhys Bowen
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