by Maida Malby
Krista huffed and leaned her head back against the tree. She understood where he was coming from. Nobody could change their personality in mere days. Aidan had said Blake was risk averse, but he laid himself bare by being open about his love for her. That she held back must have made him feel he wasn’t in control—something he wasn’t used to experiencing.
Her heart clenched in regret at her insensitivity. I didn’t realize how much power I have. She and Maddie had talked about protecting her heart because Blake had the potential to break it. But they didn’t consider the possibility that she had the power to break his. Aidan did. He warned her yesterday. Krista sighed. They both still had a lot to learn about navigating this relationship.
It must have been after midnight when he came back last night. She woke up in the middle of the night to find his arms around her. That brought a smile to her face, and she went back to sleep thinking they were all right. When they got up, they acted like yesterday’s disagreement hadn’t happened. There was no coolness, but there wasn’t real warmth, either. They seemed to be in limbo; at a stalemate.
Krista slapped her hand on her forehead as the realization hit her. “Because it’s your turn, dummy!” Like they said in sports, the ball was in her court. Blake is still waiting for me to say I love him! She’d already told him with her body and her actions. She’d said it in her head a thousand times. But she had never spoken the words out loud.
“I love you, Blake,” Krista whispered, testing it out.
“I love you, Blake.” Louder this time.
“I love you, Blake!” She yelled to the cloudless blue sky.
“I LOVE YOU, BLAKE RYAN!” Krista shouted to the dazzlingly aquamarine waters.
The sheer joy of finally letting it all out made her laugh out loud. She’d started the week seeking something extraordinary to do for her thirtieth birthday and had found a singular gift beyond her wildest dreams.
Krista was experiencing the most life-changing event anyone could ever go through—loving someone special, and having The One love her in return. She looked up to the sky one last time. “This is for you, Sheila.”
Elated, Krista ran to the cottage to change her clothes. She arrived just in time to hear her cellphone ringing. She had forgotten it again. Shaking her head at her negligence, she reached for it, only to be brought up short by the caller ID. Their landline in Lucena—her parents’ home in Quezon.
“Tatay?” Her heart was racing.
“Krista … Anak.” The feminine voice was thick with emotion.
“Nanay.” Krista could only croak her mother’s name. “I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry I broke my promise to you. Pero, mahal ko po si Blake. And he loves me, too.”
“I’m sorry, also. I should not have asked you to make that vow. You have a right to fall in love with whomever you feel is worthy of you.” Regret tinged every word. “Your tatay scolded me, you know. He told me everything you said. Reminded me that you’re already thirty, and you’re very smart.” Her mother was quiet for a beat. “This Blake, he is your boss?”
“Opo.”
“And you’ve met his family?”
“His brother Aidan came to visit him here in Boracay. We have the same birthday.”
She went silent again. Krista thought she’d hung up the phone.
“Come to Lucena. You and Blake, come and see us. We’d like to meet your young man.”
Krista couldn’t help it. She burst into tears. “Salamat po. Thank you. We’ll be there tomorrow. I love you, Nanay. You and Tatay. I love you so much.”
“Mahal din kita, Krista. See you tomorrow.”
Yes! Yes! Yes! Krista danced and jumped around the cottage as if she’d just knocked out an opponent in boxing. I have to tell Blake. She stopped. No, I’ll tell him everything tonight. After I say the words.
She’d do more than say them. She would make a big statement. After tonight, there should be no question in Blake’s mind of her sincerity and commitment. She had to get that tattoo done. It was time to declare her new motto. It was time to proclaim her love to the whole world. Carpe diem! Seize the day, Krista!
***
She is doing it. Blake was stunned when he arrived at the tattoo studio in D’Mall. Krista sat astride a chair with her front against its back, her chosen motto “Carpe Diem” being marked on her back. He followed her after seeing her note at the kubo, telling him where she had gone.
Blake hadn’t been one hundred percent sure she would go through with it. Sunday was the first and last time they’d talked of it. He mentioned the phrase when he woke her up after the first night they made love. Now, here she was, calmly sitting still while the tattoo artist applied the stencil transfer of Krista’s design below the nape of her neck.
It was low enough that no one could see it when she wore her usual clothing. But he would. He liked to see her body—preferably naked. Blake loved that he had that privilege exclusively.
He pulled up a chair and positioned it in front of his girlfriend so he could support her through this sometimes-painful process.
Krista raised her head to receive his kiss and said, “Thanks for coming, hon. Sorry I didn’t wait for you. Ronnie here has another appointment after me.” She looked over her shoulder to signal to the tattooist to begin.
Despite their uneasy truce about the state of their relationship and his initial objection to her plan to permanently mark her perfectly smooth skin with black ink, Blake lent his strength to Krista. He held her hands, dried her tears, and calmed her down when the screech of the machine got noticeably loud and startled her.
He felt a surge of tenderness when she started to tear up in pain, as the tattooist’s needle touched a particularly sensitive area where the bone was close to the skin. The female tattoo artist had a light and steady hand, but he knew the first time under the needle could be rough.
Blake remembered when he and his brothers got the Ryan family crest tattoo—three white griffins on a red background, with the Gaelic clan motto “Malo mori dam foedari.” Death before dishonor. It was at the same studio where their father obtained his. They all had it drawn in nearly the same location, right in the middle of their broad backs. So the mark could heal, they had it done a month before Aidan was to attend Officer Training School.
Because Aidan had to follow the official air force policy regarding body arts, his tattoo was the smallest of the three. Craig’s was naturally the biggest—even at sixteen, he was already taller than both of his brothers. He’d easily passed for eighteen. Blake smirked at Aidan’s disregard of the requirement that they get their Da’s written consent for Craig’s tattoo. It was his last act of defiance before he had to adhere to the strictly regimented life of an active-duty US military officer.
Blake knew from the time his brother began his nine-week training that Aidan had lived and breathed not only the US Air Force motto of “Aim High … Fly-Fight-Win,” but also their family’s war cry, to die rather than be disgraced.
In his seat before Krista, Blake stretched his legs as much as the cramped space would allow. I’d rather die than be disgraced. What a lofty standard to live up to. It relieved him that he’d never needed to prove his willingness to fulfill the slogan; he wasn’t sure he could go through with giving up his life for his principles. His relationship with Krista could change that.
Last night, they had agreed to maintain some distance between each other at the office, to negate the rumors about being seen kissing here in Boracay. But secrets had ways of coming out. How they dealt with the upcoming adversity would be a test of their love, if Human Resources made an issue of it. He would rather resign than put Krista through a scandal that could damage her career and hurt her future.
Blake looked down when Krista moaned. “It’s okay, baby. It’ll be all over soon,” he whispered soothingly. Ronnie, the artist, had begun shading on the second “E.” Krista was close to having herself a complete tattoo.
“I know, hon,” she replied. “It’s not the needle. It
’s you. Your hands are gripping mine too tight.”
Blake hadn’t realized his disturbing thoughts had manifested themselves and created a tension that translated itself to Krista. He tried to let go of her hand, but she held on.
“I’m fine now. How are you doing?” Her voice was muffled—her head rested on her arms, which were one on top of the other, on the back of the chair.
“I’m all right. I just remembered something.” He gently removed his hand from hers. “Sweetheart, would you like me to take a couple of pictures for you before Ronnie applies the ointment? You may want to send them to your friends.” The tattoo artist was nodding as he said this. The protective ointment would cause a glare.
“Sure. Kindly pass me my phone.” When he did, she pressed her index finger on the pad but didn’t hand it to him. “Uhm, honey, is it okay if Ronnie takes the photos?” She motioned him closer and whispered, “I’ll show it to you later when it’s just the two of us.”
Surprised but intrigued, Blake nodded and passed the phone to the tattoo artist after Krista handed it to him. He stepped aside, out of respect for his girlfriend’s request, while Ronnie photographed the finished ink. She must have added something to the design before he arrived. No use speculating on it now. He’d find out soon enough.
Blake leaned in the doorway and thought of how far Krista and he had come since Saturday morning. There was her initial antipathy of his careless words of greeting. The jaw-dropping transformation and first kiss. That hot hammock make-out session. Then she had gifted him with her virginity. Most recently, she had accepted a committed relationship with him in defiance of her mother. All in one week. All because she had embraced her new motto—carpe diem. Seize the day. He could only feel exceedingly happy to be the beneficiary of her resolve to live each day to the fullest.
When he left her last night, he had some time to think and to admit to himself that he might have rushed his ultimatum, just as he’d made a quick judgment about her family on the night of her birthday. His pride took a beating, and he lashed out. All his understanding of her romantic inexperience went out the window the moment an adverse situation appeared. Blake shook his head in regret.
He couldn’t wait to make love to her again. He missed doing that last night because of his brooding. He shook his head. That’s all over. Tonight, he would make up for keeping his distance. He’d take care to be gentle though, for she would still be sore in some areas. But he wanted to make the most out of their last night in Boracay.
He straightened when she approached, her business done with the studio. She carried a bag containing extra oils and ointments that would hasten the healing process. He looked forward to rubbing them on her soft skin later tonight—and every night for the rest of their lives, if she would let him. “Do you want ice cream again, baby?” he offered, exactly like he did last time they were here.
“Always,” she beamed up at him. “This time, I want ube ice cream on top of halo-halo with leche flan and halaya.” There were no tears in her eyes anymore. Only the glint of pride that she had suffered through pain to stamp an indelible reminder of her determination to live on her own terms.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Pag-ibig [pag-ee-big] n. – love.
It’s time. Krista told her image in the bathroom mirror.
It was late afternoon by the time they left the tattoo shop, so they decided to come back to Perlas and have their dinner here. Blake even joined her for halo-halo ice cream, breaking his no-dessert-at-dinner rule. He had joked and laughed and told her about his own experience, when he’d had the ink tattooed on his back.
To her delight, he’d arranged for the fireworks to be lit tonight instead of Sunday night. On the surface, everything seemed to have returned to the way they were before last night’s fight. But they hadn’t really talked. Now, we will.
Earlier, she’d stopped him from seeing her bold statement. She wanted the reveal to be special. So here she was, wearing the pearls he gave her and nothing else, to make sure no barriers existed between Blake and his view of her declaration.
He’d asked her to model the pearls for him just before Maddie’s gift-giving, and after that, her parents caught her in the act of almost kissing Blake.
Ugh. This isn’t the time to think about the tear-filled drama from Wednesday night. It’s time to finally tell my man I love him.
Krista artfully posed at the door of the bathroom, her hands lifting her hair off her neck to display her jewelry to their most dazzling effect. “Honey, can you please put ointment on my tattoo and change the bandage?” She also knew the stance showed off her curves and long legs to perfection.
***
Blake whistled. “Come here, baby. I’ve been looking forward to this the whole afternoon long.” He went instantly hard inside his boxer briefs.
Krista climbed onto the bed and handed him the After Inked ointment. She sat cross-legged in front of Blake with her back to him and gathered the heavy mass of her hair up on top of her head. Blake gently peeled off the bandage the tattoo artist had applied, and scratched lightly at the adhesive that remained stuck to her skin.
“Ooooh. That feels so good,” Krista moaned.
A couple of minutes passed quietly while he rubbed the healing oil on her skin. Blake had nearly swallowed his tongue when he saw Krista at her sexiest best. A golden goddess with a sultry smile on her lips and her skin glowing, setting the cranberry pearls off spectacularly; she was the embodiment of his fantasies all those months ago. Krista was centerfold material for sure, but he wouldn’t want any other man ogling her. She was for his eyes only.
Krista twisted her hair into a bun and asked, “Honey, do you know what my initials are?”
“Hmmm? ‘KL’?” Blake answered absently, his mind on what he planned to do to her once she was bandaged again.
“And yours are …?” Krista prodded.
My initials? What? Blake’s fingers went still on her back. As if blinders were removed from his eyes, he finally saw what she had been hinting at. It’s right there in front of my face!
Underneath the words “Carpe Diem,” and within the curling vines, were the letters “K” and “L,” a heart, and his initials, “B” and “R.” He traced the letters and the symbol that expressed her avowal of love for him. “Krista Lopez loves Blake Ryan,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with suppressed emotion.
Krista turned and took his face in her hands. She looked in his eyes, and said, “I, Krista Lopez, love you, Blake Ryan. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it. I couldn’t say the words before, because I was guilty, scared, and insecure.” She placed a finger on his lips to allow her to continue.
“I was feeling guilty because not only was I disobeying my mother, I also initially planned to use you for one week only. Then, I didn’t trust that your profession of love for me was real. That it wasn’t just the enchantment of Boracay. That what you were feeling would disappear next week when we returned to the real world.” She smiled when he shook his head, denying her negative assumptions. Krista gave him a light kiss on the mouth.
She leaned away before he could deepen the kiss. “At the same time, I feared the newness of my feelings for you. Falling in love is one of my most cherished dreams, but I got scared when it happened so fast with you. What if there’s a catch? For over a decade I was happy enough to only have my family and friends. A few days with you, and you’ve suddenly become the center of my life. How do I know it could last beyond this week, this month, and this year?”
Blake had to speak out. “We can’t know. We can only work on it together every moment of every day.” He dragged her onto his lap. He couldn’t stand even the smallest distance between their bodies.
“Exactly,” Krista agreed. “Do you know what the full quote of carpe diem means?”
“I only know it means to seize the present because you cannot trust that tomorrow will come,” he replied, rubbing her back gently.
Krista nodded. “I thought so, too, at fir
st. But I read up on it some more, and it actually means one should not leave the future to chance but do all they can today to make their future better.” She wrapped her arms tighter around him. “You are the only one that will make my future better, Blake. I love you. I want to be yours, and I want you to become mine. Today. For as many todays as we can seize. And I want everyone to know.”
Blake felt his throat tighten with emotion. She unmanned him with her words, but at the same time she empowered him with her love. “I love you too, Krista. Iniibig kita. More and more each day we’re together. I am yours. I have been from the moment you honored me with your first kiss. That you’re mine makes me the happiest man in the world right now. I can’t wait to let the world know about us.”
Tears of joy filled Krista’s eyes. She touched his face and whispered, “Make love with me, Blake. This time, I want nothing to come between us. I want you. All of you.” Implicit in her invitation was a promise that she was ready to commit fully to him, ready to create a future with him today.
Blake’s heart swelled with happiness. “There is nothing I crave more than to make love with you, Krista.” As he told his brother, Krista was The One for him. The woman he would introduce to his family as his future wife and mother of his children. Any child they created would be wanted. Cherished.
Their lips met in a sweet kiss that quickly blazed into a full-fledged fire neither tried to douse. Hands roamed, tongues mated, and bodies touched in a timeless dance of lovers who have found in each other the partner of their heart, moving together in a rhythm that matched the beat of love. They were seizing the moment. Making the future better. Today.
SATURDAY
Epilogue
