by Unknown
“I know. I’ll straighten it all out with her, eventually. Right now, I feel a headache coming on and I’m afraid we’ll start singing Kumbaya then you’ll ask me to share more of my feelings.”
Holt punches me in the arm. “No, we’ll just sit on the couch, play video games, get mad at each other for cheating, while kicking your butt since you seriously suck when it comes to playing any team related games.”
Tucker laughs, punching me in the other arm as he passes me by. “Now, if you’re done. I’m grabbing a pizza and I’ll be back in a bit. Be prepared to eat dirt!” he calls over his shoulder while he walks out of the living room.
“You couldn’t even survive a Zombie Apocalypse. All of that preparation in game play was for nothing.” I laugh, feeling a little bit better. I’m far from it, but these guys know how to handle me with their special brand of care. Thankfully I have them in my life to help me pull my head out of the sand.
My next big challenge will be to beg the woman who has my heart to hear me out.
I’ve been avoiding everyone for the last few days. It’s been nice, but now I’m lonelier than I ever was to begin with. Why did I ever decide to being a fuddy-duddy was lame? I would rather that then being yo-yoed with.
Halley texted me yet again, for the twentieth time, that they wanted to me to come hang out with them. Why does it have to be at the race track? I pray they’re not trying to set something up. I thought I was ready a few times to sit Nate down and have it out with him. Now, I’m not so sure. If he wanted to talk to me, and work it out, he would have called me already. Well, fine that’s not right. He has called, and texted, I just haven’t answered. If he really wanted to make this work, he would have shown up at my door instead of lame texts.
I feel stupid, and like this is now becoming a game. One I never intended. I just don’t know what to do. I want to fix this stupid issue, but I don’t want him to take me back and hold me at an arm’s distance anymore. I can’t take it. I thought I could live with it, but I know that’s a big horrid lie I keep telling myself I can live with. It’s not happening. I want all of Nate, or —no, I can’t even think about the other possibility. I wish I could call his sister, but I don’t know how to reach her. And with my brilliant plan, not really, I’ve been ignoring his friends, and mine.
Halley’s right, I need to get out and see everyone. So, here I am at the track, walking up to the bench. I don’t see Shelley hanging on Nate. Thankfully. Surprisingly, it looks like she’s found a new man to latch onto. Now, if only Lisa could get the hint. Poor Tucker and Naomi.
Stepping up to the bleachers, I see the girls hanging with the guys, but I don’t see Nate. Frowning up at them, I look around but I don’t see him elsewhere. But I do see someone else walking towards me. Oh boy, this isn’t good because I see Dave making a straight-line towards me, and he’s not slowing down.
“Hey, good looking!” he grins at me. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“That makes two of us,” I mutter more to myself. “What are you doing here? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at the track before.”
“I’ve come out on occasion, but the pretty girl in town I kept hearing about wasn’t here.” He winks.
“Oh?” Please don’t be flirting with me. What if Nathan over hears him? I don’t even know what we are right now, but I do know Nathan will blow his lid.
“Charlie, come on now. You have to know by now that I really like you.” He slings an arm over my shoulder, causally resting it there. I try to slide out of his light hold, but he pulls me back in, but closer to his chest.
“I really didn’t have a clue. Sorry.” I’m embarrassed and feel like an idiot.
“Well, no matter. You know now. Anyway, I’m still your friend. I didn’t expect anything to happen, for the time being. I just felt like you could use a good friend to be around right now.”
“Thank you, Dave. I realized tonight that I really do need my friends. Hiding away wasn’t a great idea.”
“Anything for you, Charlie. Let’s go see what everyone else is up to.” He tugs me forward with him, leading to my friends. We make our way up to the top of the bleachers, to looks of anger and confused faces. I give them a small, timid smile and a weak wave of the hand. I don’t want to be in this position any more than they like seeing it. If they feel uncomfortable, it’s nothing like I feel.
“Charlie! It’s good you’re here.” Naomi is the first to recover, moving towards me to pull me into a hug. “We are so talking about this later.” She quietly whispers into my ear.
“I have no idea about this either,” I whisper back.
Halley leans over to hug me as well. “Nate is going to have a fit when he sees Dave with his arm or hands on you. Heck, just being here is going to cause issues.” She whispers.
“Not my choice. I thought you all invited him?” I quietly respond.
“Nope! I don’t even want to be here when he finds out.” She sits back down next to Holt, who automatically claims her hand.
“Charlie. Good to see you’re still alive and kicking.” Tucker kisses my cheek. “Nate misses you, you know. I get the impression he wants to talk to you. Are you sticking around later?” he quietly engages me in conversation so it’s not over heard by prying ears, and for my benefit since Dave is tagging along.
“I’m not sure this is the place to have this talk, Tucker. If he really wants to make it right, he knows where I live.”
“Wow. You have more spunk in you then I gave you credit for, short stack!” Holt, who overheard us, laughs. “Good to know.” He winks.
“Where is he, anyway?” I ask the group at large, turning my back to them to look once again for Nate. “I didn’t see him when I came out.”
“Oh, he’s here. I’m sure he’s already seen you, too.” Holt not reassuringly shares.
“Are we going to have a problem?” Dave asks.
“Only if you let it be one, or if you don’t keep your hands off his girlfriend.”
“Last time I checked, they weren’t labeling it, nor was he taking care of her properly.”
I place my hand on Dave’s arm. “That’s none of your business. Please, let’s not cause any trouble, okay? I’m out for the first time in a while with my friends, and I want to enjoy the evening.”
“Charlie, you made me a part of this when I saw you at Texas Jacks and we had our chat.”
“I didn’t mean to drag you into it. Please, drop it. Don’t stir the pot anymore than it has been.” I warn him, dropping my hand. “Now, move your fat bottoms over, I want to sit!” I kick Halley in the foot with my own, so she will move over. I really don’t want Dave here, or to sit by me, but I don’t get that wish. He squishes in next to me. Right now, I feel really irritated and I want to push him off the end of the row. When did he get so annoying?
What’s he doing here? I can’t believe he has the nerve to show up, knowing I’ll be here, hanging on Charlie. Why is she even letting him do that? This can’t be right. I have to be imaging things, right? I’ve had Charlie on my mind for the last few days, and I’ve barely been able to sleep, let alone function. I’m torn up, and I’m ready to stop this madness. But now, this? Charlie and Dave? I see nothing in front of me, as I tear off around the track again. Everything is hazy and my mind is going a million miles a second.
Is this why she’s been avoiding me? So she can see him? Has she decided we’re done, and she would rather give Dave a chance? What, he won’t break her heart? No. He wouldn’t. Instead, he wouldn’t give her enough space to breathe. I’m sickened by the fact that he has her undivided attention when I can’t get a single second of her time. I know she didn’t see me when she showed up, nor when she searched me out from the bleachers. I had to step back and hide myself, so I could see what was going on. Just watching him touch her, makes me see red. I want to pull him away from her, instead I’m out here skulking like a little boy.
I make it around the track again, slowing down to pull over to the side.
I just happen to look over to where they are, where I can just barely make them out—still, I can see Dave sitting right up against her side, squished in by someone else. That’s it. I decide that I can’t take it anymore.
I slam on the brakes, and come to a dead stop. I jump off my bike, not really thinking about what I’m doing, but knowing I have to get to Charlie. I’m the only one for her, and I’m going to find a way to cope and lay bare to her my feelings—once and for all.
I start walking towards her, pushing my heavy bike along when the next thing I know, I’m airborne. I slam back into something, smacking my head. My body hurts, and I can’t really move before the lights fade to black.
There’s a collective gasp in the audience, then a deafening roar of silence, before pandemonium breaks out. People start jumping up from the stands, pushing and shoving, while trying to get out of the bleachers and down to the ground.
“What’s going on?” I ask no one in particular. I look back to the track, just in time to see a bike eat dirt. From there it’s a domino effect. There are a few more crashes, or people jumping off their bikes so they don’t crash into the pile-up that’s already created.
“Charlie, I want you to come with me. Please.” Holt says, taking me by my arm, gently.
“Why? What’s going on? What happened?” I completely missed everything, but I recall hearing a distant screaming. I thought it was others here, acting up and having fun. I turn all around, looking at everyone in confusion. Some people are starting to look over at me, giving me funny or sad looks. I furrow my brow, and then it dawns on me.
“No.” My nose stings and my eyes prick with tears. “No. It’s not Nate.” I look over to the guys, questioning them with my eyes. Holt looks at me with a tender smile, but Tucker can’t even look me in the eye. He just gets up, and takes Naomi with him towards the track.
“It’s alright; everything is going to be just fine.” Halley reassures me, but I don’t even know what happened. Not really. I push passed everyone and jump down from the stand of seats to the next one until I’m safely planted on the ground. Then I go running for the field. Someone tries to yell my name, and a few people try to grab me, but I’m good at evading and I pump my legs faster as I run towards the crash of men, and bikes.
I come to halting stop, when I can only see a tangle of metal and flesh. There’s blood, and plastic pieces dotting the area. I still can’t see Nate. He’s probably not even in here. I didn’t even see him racing, but by my friends’ reactions, he has to be in this mess. I don’t want to believe it, but I have a sinking feeling of what I will find in the aftermath.
“NATE!” I start screaming into the chaos. “Nathan!” I scream again, trying to look all over in case I miss him. Men start turning their heads my way, looking at me in pity as I continue to scream his name. My eyes well up, and blur my line of vision. I can barely see, but I know I won’t find what I’m looking for.
“Get out of my way!” I yell at the onlookers. “MOVE!” I hysterically cry and scream at them. I start pushing and fighting my way through them, as I make my way to the center of attention. I see other men pulling bikes away, and men limping away from the scene. They clear the way to get to the people buried under the bikes, who are still stuck in the entanglement.
I stand at the front now, watching and waiting when I feel myself surrounded by others, who I know automatically, will be our friends. I can’t do anything, but wait and watch. I know I can’t get in the way of anyone. In the meantime, I randomly hear people reporting the incident to 911. The minute I realize this is bigger than life, I start to breathe in shallow little breaths. I feel the anxiety kick in, and I can barely pull air into my lungs. But I can’t stop watching. People try to tug me away. Some try to talk to me but I feel like I’m in a tunnel and everything is drowned out. The rescuers finally get to the last one and I feel it. I just know it deep in my bones, that it’s Nate.
The moment I glimpse the color of his riding jacket, and then see his special helmet, I lose it. I can’t breathe. My chest hurts, and I can’t pull in enough air because he’s not moving. I lean over, resting my hands on my thighs, hanging my head down as I try to get oxygen into my lungs. I feel hands on my back, rubbing in a soothing circular motion, while someone speaks calmingly into my ear. It takes a few moments, but I start to barely pull myself together. The minute my lungs get enough air flow, I stand up—swaying with dizziness, then launch myself in Nate’s direction. I make it to him and drop to my knees.
He’s not moving, as I search him for any signs of broken bones, and to see if his chest is moving. His right arm is at an odd angle, and he’s bleeding, but I can’t see where it’s coming from. No one removes his helmet, incase he’s had trauma elsewhere that can cause more damage. I sit there, in shock, looking at this man who doesn’t realize how much I love him, feeling helpless. I can’t move him, and I certainly can’t paw all over him to make sure he’s not broken completely. Sitting back on my haunches, I can only stare and silently sob—while silently praying he will be fine in the end, and it’s worse than it looks.
A short time later, I’m pulled away so paramedics can evaluate him, and then move him into the ambulance. This is all going on while I’m going through the motions, not really connecting with anything, or anyone. I just can’t tear my eyes off of Nate, fearing that if I do, he won’t come back to me.
They ask me if I’ll ride with Nate in the ambulance, but it’s not my voice that answers them. I don’t think. It certainly doesn’t sound like me but it has to be because I find myself being helped into the back right before they close the door. I sit down, reaching out a hand to touch his face, his hand, and then laying it on his thigh, hoping those were all safe places to touch without causing more harm.
The ambulance starts up, the sirens begin to wail, and the paramedic starts asking me questions that I can’t answer. We make it to the emergency room, but I’m in daze as they help me out of the back area, and then lead me with Nate into the automatic doorway. They start calling off information to others who work there, and someone leads me to the waiting room, sits me down, and then moves on. Our friends show up not too long after I arrived, and sit around me in opened chairs. They try to sooth me, but I don’t hear a word they say. It’s like I hear it, then it fades before it can stick.
That’s the last thing I remember before I slump in my seat, in the waiting room, and cry my heart out before I succumb to the darkness that calls to me. My body, and mind are exhausted and the night wins the battle and pulls me under.
“FAMILY OF MR. JACKSON?” I hear someone call out into the waiting room. I automatically jump up from my seat to find the speaker, who happens to be the doctor we spoke to hours earlier.
“Yes, that’s me.” I anxiously await his prognosis with bated breath.
“Mr. Jackson is comfortably resting in his room now. You can come back with me, if you like. We can discuss his prognosis in privacy.” He looks around the room at the rest of our friends, and I wonder for a moment if he’s thinking of not letting me go back there. “I see you are all still here. Very well then. Let’s move to a quieter area of the room so I can update everyone at once.” He moves off to a corner of the waiting room, where no one else is hanging out.
“Mr. Jackson,” he starts, looking at each of us, “is going to be just fine. He will have a long recovery, but didn’t sustain any internal injuries. He’s very lucky that he wasn’t killed, and has no internal bleeding, especially after being crushed by the dirt bikes. He suffered a concussion as he slammed his head against the ground, or the objects crashing on him. Even with his helmet on, it caused some damage. I’m surprised he didn’t suffer much worse. But, he did break the ulna in his right arm, and he broke a few ribs, and his nose. That’s where most of the bleeding came from—the nose. He also has contusions all over his body. We will keep him in the hospital for the next two days, to monitor his head injury. We will then reevaluate his prognosis from there.” He looks over at me, and then
turns to leave. I follow him to Nathan’s room. I’m worried about him, still. Even though the doctor said he’ll be okay, I need proof. Thinking this, I stop and turn to look at our friends. Should I be the one going in first? I worry my bottom lip, wondering what I should do.
“It’s fine, Charlie. You go in first. Carianna should be back soon with their dad. Until then, I know he would rather wake up to your pretty face over our ugly mugs.” Holt softly smiles at me. I hug him, giving him an appreciative squeeze around his waist, then let go and continue following the doctor down to Nathan’s room.
The doctor stops us at the door. “Don’t worry, he won’t look as bad as he sounds.” He reassures me of this before opening the door and pushing his way in. I silently follow, dreading seeing Nate in that hospital bed. Once we clear the door and step into the room, I stop in my spot to take him in. I need to evaluate him with my own eyes, but don’t trust myself to get too close to him yet. He might wake up and be mad when he sees I’m here. So I stay still, in one spot, just watching and waiting for what comes next. It all hinges on what Nate will do when we make eye contact.
Waking up hurts, and it shouldn’t.
“Why can’t I move my arm?” I groggily call into the emptiness of wherever it is that I am.
“Where am I?”
My vision is blurry. I can’t move very well, and my arm feels weighted down. I try to sit up, but there’s a burning pain and agony within my chest. Just breathing hurts. I look down and see wires and tubes coming out of my arms. I realize after a little more investigating that I’m in a hospital room, and I can’t remember how I got here.
The last thing I remember is walking off the track to get to Charlie, before flying backwards as something hard hit me and threw me off my feet. And then it was lights out until now, apparently.
