by Lori Wilde
Ava ended the call and looked up at him. “I got the job if I want it.”
He forced himself to smile and say, “That’s wonderful news.”
Anxiously, she bit her lip and shifted her weight. “There’s just one problem.”
“What’s that?” he asked, trying to stay as nonchalant as possible.
“It’s in Singapore and they need an answer by Monday.”
Chapter 10
“Monday?”
“It’s short notice and I’ll have to cut my trip home short. That messes with the time we have together.”
The news that Ava’s job offer was in Singapore was a sharp kick in the teeth.
Staring at her, Caleb felt as if he were being pulled backward through a long, dark tunnel and his heart ripped out by the force.
“It’s my dream job,” Ava was saying, her face animated in a way he hadn’t seen since she left for Paris a decade earlier.
She started listing off all the ways it was the opportunity of a lifetime, but she sounded tinny and far away and his mind couldn’t fully process what she told him. The gist he gleaned—terrific pay, artistic freedom, liberal benefit package. The only thing that stuck in his mind and held was a single word.
Singapore.
“Caleb?”
“Huh?” He blinked at her.
She was standing there on the sidewalk, people leaving the parade weaving their way around them. “Did you hear me?”
He nodded, even though he hadn’t. “Congratulations, Ava. I know this is an opportunity of a lifetime.”
“It is.” She nodded. “Singapore will be a bit more challenging on our relationship than if I’d gotten the jobs I’d applied for in Costa Rica and Canada but—”
“How long is that flight?” he asked. “Sixteen hours?”
She winced. “I’m not sure. Twentyish.”
“So you really couldn’t be any farther away from Kringle in the entire world.”
“I know it sounds daunting—”
“No hopping on a plane for a quick weekend trip home.”
“We’d have to—”
“Ava,” he said. “Just stop.”
She gulped visibly. “Stop what?”
“Trying to make this work. You are who you are. I have no right to ask you to be someone else for my convenience.”
“Cabe, what are you saying?” She looked so distressed it was all he could do not to take her into his arms and tell her they would work things out.
“I’m saying we’ve had an amazing time this week. The best time I’ve had in a very long while, but—”
“I’ll work on my flaws,” she said. “I’ll curb my impulsiveness. I’ll—”
“You won’t.”
“Please give me a chance to prove myself. I—”
“Ava,” he murmured her name.
“I will—”
“Ava, please let me say what I need to say.”
She shut up and fixed her gaze on him, her eyes beseeching. “I’m listening.”
“You’re impulsiveness isn’t the problem. Your ability to have spur-of-the-moment fun is part of who you are and it’s why I love you. You are uniquely you, Ava. You don’t make excuses. You grab life by throat and live it with gusto and I admire you so much for that. No, the problem isn’t who you are. The problem is one of simple logistics. We can’t build a life together while you are living ten thousand miles away. I was kidding myself to think it was possible.”
Ava stared at him openmouthed. “You l-love me?”
“You know I do. There’s been no one else for me, Ava, and I’ll always have deep feelings for you. There’s nothing like one’s first love. There simply isn’t. But it’s time for me to stop hanging on to a dream. After seeing Zach ask Suzannah to marry him, it spurred me to face up to what I’ve been feeling for the last ten years. I’ve been lonely and waiting for you to wise up and come home to me. That was foolishness on my part. It’s time for me to let you go. I want a wife and kids, the whole white-picket-fence fantasy, and you don’t.”
“I never said that, Caleb. When I was young, I wanted to find myself and I did. I learned who I was and what I wanted and after coming home and spending time with you, I know you are what I want.”
He shook his head. “I’m in Kringle, Ava. Not Singapore. You have your dreams and I have mine and I won’t stand in your way.”
Tears misted his eyes, but he’d be danged if he’d let her see it. He tugged his Stetson down low over his forehead and turned his face from her. “I wish for you only the best the world has to offer, Ava.”
Then, while he still had his wits about him, Caleb jumped into his truck and drove away. He was halfway out of town before he realized he’d left his horse trailer behind.
Ava woke up Saturday morning with a heavy sense of dread sitting on her chest. It was ten minutes after six and still dark outside, but someone was banging on the shelter door and the dogs were going crazy. She’d barely slept last night, her mind in a turmoil over Caleb. She’d tossed and turned for hours, weighing her dilemma.
Quickly, she dressed in blue jeans, a Christmas sweater, work boots, and a hooded jacket and shuffled outside in the wan light of early dawn. She rounded the side of the house and headed for the shelter just a few feet away.
She stopped and gasped.
People were outside. Lots of people. Cars everywhere and more were pulling into the driveway.
Startled, she rushed up to the front porch of the shelter where an older man, holding one of her posters, stood banging on the door.
“The adoption event doesn’t start until seven,” she told him.
“I came early so I didn’t miss out,” he said, flapping the poster of Tiny the Great Dane in her face. “This is the dog I want.”
“We open at seven,” she reiterated, shivering in the cold bit of wind. The temperatures had plummeted since yesterday’s pleasant weather for the parade.
“Tell that them.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder at the line of cars behind them. “It’s cold out. Might even snow today or tomorrow, so you can’t leave people running their engines.”
The older gentleman was right. Ava hadn’t expected this kind of response. She should have been more prepared. Feeling overwhelmed, she fumbled in her pocket for the front door key to the accompaniment of barking dogs.
Just as she was debating on how best to handle the early morning crush, Caleb, Phil, and Mort came driving through the pasture on three ATVs. The cavalry had appeared. Gratitude swamped her as she tensed at Caleb’s presence.
The three men parked their ATVs behind the shelter and strolled through the people collecting at the front door.
“How can we help?” Caleb asked, not a trace of emotion in his voice. He gave nothing away. She had no idea what he was feeling or why he’d shown up with his crew at the crack of dawn to rescue her.
Relief rushed through her hot and welcome. “You can get these folks settled in the outer office while I rouse Mom and Dad to pitch in.”
Caleb nodded. “We’re on it.”
To the bottom of her heart, Ava appreciated his help, and she also appreciated him not gloating. She hurried back to the house and quickly woke her parents and texted the volunteers to see if they could come in earlier.
“How great that they can’t wait to adopt,” her mother said past a yawn as she shuffled to the coffeemaker in her slippers. “Your dad and I will be right with you.”
Ava, too, was glad there were lots of interested people, but she’d never expected so many to show up all at once and so early. Now she knew why she’d been feeling dread since waking up. It wasn’t just unhappiness about her situation with Caleb. It also was a deep fear Home for the Holidays might end in total disaster.
“You know you’re an idiot, right?” Zach Delaney told Caleb after Caleb relayed what had happened between him and Ava the previous day. Caleb had been standing out in front of the shelter, still helping people form a straight line when Zach walked over
.
“I’m not sure in what precise way I’m an idiot, but I figure you’re about to tell me.”
“You broke up with Ava, didn’t you?”
Caleb blew out his breath, disgusted at himself for clinging so hard to his love for Ava. Why was it so difficult for him to let go? “Sort of, but how did you know that? Ava and I just talked it over yesterday.”
Zach shrugged. “I could tell something was wrong the minute I showed up and saw that scowl on your face and you’ve been avoiding going inside.”
“Maybe I’m scowling because this is such a madhouse. The crowd has been like this all morning. A stream of cars started driving past my house before dawn and I knew immediately what had happened and that Ava was unprepared for this, so Phil, Mort, and I came right over on the ATVs. I’ve been here directing traffic ever since.”
“I don’t think your foul mood has anything to do with the shelter and everything to do with Ava. Wanna talk about it?”
“I do not.”
Caleb was glad his friend was here to help with the crowd, but his relationship with Ava was none of Zach’s business. The reason it upset him didn’t have to do with the shelter. Ava hadn’t prepared for the onslaught of people, just like he’d warned her. Truthfully, though, he took no satisfaction in being right, but this event showed why he was smart to let her go.
They would never mesh. She loved to be spontaneous, while spontaneity stressed him out.
“You need to let her do things her own way,” Zach said. “It might not be your way, but that’s okay.”
“This is advice comes from a man who has been engaged for less than twenty-four hours?”
“Maybe, but I’ve known for years that I loved Suzannah. Just took me some time to stop being an idiot and let her know. So take it from an ex-idiot, you need to be smart about this.”
Except Caleb had already told Ava he loved her. In fact, it was his love for her that tore them apart. He loved her too much to tie her down.
Two more cars were pulling in, and Caleb directed them to the overflow parking with an orange baton.
“You need to think about what you want,” Zach said.
“As if I haven’t?”
“Don’t always think about what’s the smart thing to do. Suzannah and I both got caught up in that spider’s web. Instead, think about what you really want.”
Thing is, he wanted two conflicting things. Ava and his ranch, but he could not have both. Nor could he tell her about her father’s cancer diagnosis and her parents’ plan to close the shelter and move to town. It wasn’t his place, and he’d promised Marjorie he’d keep quiet.
Last night, he’d known ending things with Ava was the right thing to do, but today he was miserable, and his feelings had nothing to do with the overcrowded shelter.
Truth was, Caleb had no idea how to fix it.
“Friend,” Zach said, resting his arm on Caleb’s shoulder. “I only know one thing. When you find a woman you love with all your heart and soul, you have to pull out all the stops to win her or you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
“Yes,” Caleb said. “That all sounds good, but what do you do when it seems impossible?”
“In that case,” Zach said. “You cowboy up and do the hard thing.”
His friend’s words hit him like a lightning bolt, and in that moment, Caleb knew the solution to his dilemma. Slapping Zach on the back, he said, “Thank you, man. Now I’ve gotta go.”
It was five p.m. and Home for the Holidays was officially over. Ava, her parents, and all the volunteers had worked nonstop, Caleb and his hands included.
Exhausted, Ava slumped in the office chair beside her mom. Dad had gone into the house to feed Stephen King, Minnie Pearl, Oscar, Felix, and Cinderella their dinners.
“I can’t believe we got all the cats and most of the dogs adopted out except for two.” Ava yawned. “Someone even took poor old Waldo.”
“It is a Christmas miracle,” her mother said, sounding wistful. “The place hasn’t been this empty since we started the shelter. And plenty of people would have adopted those last two if you’d allowed them to be separated.”
Ava peered over at the Romeo and Juliet, who were curled up together on the sofa. “Mom, they adore each other. How could I split them up?”
“Most people aren’t ready to take on two dogs at once. I appreciate that it’s sad to adopt them out separately now that they’ve bonded, but they’re dogs. They’ll adjust.”
“Maybe they won’t,” Ava said, toying with a pencil. “Maybe they’ll always secretly pine for each other for the rest of their lives.”
“Dogs don’t have the same emotions that people do.”
“How do you know?”
Her mother cleared her throat and sent Ava a pointed look. “This isn’t about Romeo and Juliet. This is about you and Caleb.”
She didn’t even bother denying it. Instead, she got up and moved to the couch where both dogs curled up on her lap and gazed raptly into each other’s eyes. Absentmindedly, she scratched them behind their ears and thought of Caleb.
Just then, as if she’d conjured him, the door to the shelter opened and Caleb walked in.
Immediately, Ava sat up straight, her gaze flying to meet his. “You’re still here. I heard the ATVs start up and thought you’d gone.”
He was holding his Stetson in his hands, looking uncomfortable. “I was about to head out. Phil and Mort have already gone back to the Leaping Longhorn. Just wanted to say congrats on clearing out the shelter.”
Ava displaced the dogs and got up, her eyes clinging to his. Her stomach was tied in knots and she could barely breathe. “Thank you so much for everything. Honestly, we couldn’t have done it without you.”
“My pleasure.” A quick smile appeared on his lips, and then it was gone.
Clearing her throat, she sent him a pleading expression. “Could we talk?”
He shook his head. “Ava, there’s nothing to say.”
Nothing? He wasn’t even going to give them a chance to work through this. There had to be some kind of compromise. When two people loved each other…
“I’ve been selfish,” she said.
“You haven’t. You took care of yourself and that was wise. I admire you for it.”
“I do too,” her mother added from behind the desk.
“Caleb, if you just—”
“Ava,” he said. “I have to go.”
Putting his hat on his head, he turned and left her with a gaping wound where her heart used to be.
Chapter 11
“There’s something I have to tell you,” her mother said. “And I don’t want it to affect your decision about Singapore.”
Ava turned back to her mother. What she hadn’t told her mother was that earlier that day, after Caleb had come to her rescue, she’d made a very important decision regarding Singapore and had tested the job recruiter with her answer. That could wait.
“Mom?”
“Your father and I planned to wait until after Christmas to tell you, but I think you need the information now.”
“And yet you don’t want it to affect my decision?”
Her mother threw her hands in the air. “Okay, all right, I know it will affect your decision, but I hate that it will. You need to make your choices for you, not me and your father.”
“Mom,” she repeated, feeling her eyes widen and her pulse speed up. “What is it?”
“Please don’t panic—”
“Don’t say that. Now I’m panicking.”
Her mother got up, came over, took her by the hand, and led her to the couch. Ava’s pulse went from a cantor to a gallop. “Mom?”
Marjorie eased between the doors and took Juliet into her lap. She motioned Ava to sit.
She did and gathered up Romeo, grateful to have something to hold on to. “What is it? Please tell me. I’m officially freaking out.”
“Your father has cancer—”
That word. That horrible wo
rd. An icy blast froze the blood in her veins.
Her mother took her hand. “It’s okay, okay. I’m botching this. It’s skin cancer. Granted it could be a deadly skin cancer but it’s not. They caught it early. It has like a ninety-nine percent cure rate when caught early. He’s going to be fine.”
Ava panted, her emotions knocked first one way and then another. Her father had cancer, but it was completely curable.
“Caleb knows—”
“You told him and not me?”
That hurt, but why should it? Caleb was closer to her parents than she was. She’d been globetrotting while he’d been here taking care of business. Love for him grew in her chest and swelled. He was such a good man and she kept brushing him aside for life on the road. Why? What was wrong with her?
“I’m sorry if we hurt you by withholding the information, but I’m telling you. Your father will have the mole taken out after the holidays and there won’t even be any chemo. But—”
“But?” Ava echoed, clutching Romeo to her chest.
“His diagnosis has been a wake-up call. We’re closing the shelter. We’re renting a small house in town and we’re putting this place up for sale.”
“The shelter is your livelihood. You’ve run it since you first got married. It’s been here thirty years. What will the town do for an animal shelter? You—”
“It’s time for your father to get what he wants. The shelter was my dream and because he didn’t have a strong preference as to what he did for a living and because he loved me, he did this for me. It’s his turn now. He gets to plan the next thirty years.”
“Oh, Mom! I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you’re happy for us. We’re looking forward to the next chapter of our lives. And thanks to you and your amazing photography and marketing skills, you’ve cleared out the shelter for us. It’s the prime time to go. We only have to worry about finding a home for these two little guys now.”
“I’ll take them!” Ava said, still so overwhelmed by her mother’s news that she couldn’t think straight.
