When I got to my new room, I was more grateful than ever that I had made plans to go home for a little while. I couldn’t wait to get back to my hometown where things were simpler, less crowded, and less filled with the need to fill the air with words.
Kimmy had spoken with Jackson’s and Lacy’s people. Lacy’s people were a little more excited than they should’ve been. It turned out that she was looking for a little free publicity too. Jackson, however, not so much. Jackson was Jackson. It didn’t matter that things were great for him, and because he was a guy, a sex tape scandal could only make things better. He didn’t want to put his family through it.
The next thing I knew, he was calling me directly. Jackson and I had stayed in touch over the years just because we were both from Alabama. Not many celebrities were from virtually the same place: small towns on the outskirts of the same city. We weren’t close, but we were friendly.
“Roxy, I’m sorry that this is falling on you, but you’re not alone in this. I’ve got your back,” he said. “You don’t have to take Logan’s shit. It’s not right. I’m going to call him.”
“No,” I said. “It will only build his case that we are trying to hide something if we are all confronting him. This is what he wants.”
“Well, what’s your plan? You aren’t going to let him manipulate you, right? I mean, right, Rox? Let me handle this. Logan is a prick. You don’t deserve to have to take a hit for all of us—”
I could hear his kids playing in the background. His wife called out to him for dinner. A little voice screamed, “Daddy.”
“Relax, Jackson. I will take care of it. You take care of your family, okay? Keep Katie happy and go eat dinner with your kiddos for goodness sakes!” I laughed.
“Roxy,”
“I’ve got it, Jax,” I said, hanging up the phone.
Chapter 9
After I changed rooms, I curled up in bed and thought about all of it. It should’ve been overwhelming. It should’ve been mind consuming that there was a tape out there with me doing what I had. Should’ve been…but it wasn’t.
What was thought consuming was Blake Westin. I still felt the need for some closure from him. I didn’t understand how we could’ve spent that incredible night together and have no closure. How could we have connected so deeply then him sleep with me again the next day and completely disregard me? I mean, I wrote a song about him! I performed that song for him as if he were the only person in the audience. Then, he waited in my room, fucked me, and ghosted. Who did something like that?
I brought up my email account thinking I would send him an email, but I really had no idea if it would reach him. Instead, I grabbed my cell phone to call my brother to let him know I would be heading his way. Of course, there were umpteen missed calls. No surprise there.
I pressed “play all messages” to distract myself, put the phone on speaker, then laid back and listened. There were a couple of messages from my parents scolding me for “getting involved with that troublemaker, Logan” again. They couldn’t seem to decipher the real from the make-believe in celebrity news.
I was expecting a nasty message from my brother about it too, but I didn’t get one. He was probably holding it until he got me on the phone. He would know the rumors were bullshit, but he would threaten to beat Logan’s ass. Instead, he just left a message for me to call him.
The messages played one after the other. My friend was the next up. I rolled my eyes as she spoke about my firing Bo. She’d recommended him after all.
I’d really stopped listening until I heard my name. “Maddie,” A deep voice came over the line that made me sit straight up. “Maddie, it’s me, Blake. I just wanted to explain. I got your number from Parker, ah, Jana. I hope it’s okay that I’m calling. I just… After everything that happened between us, I knew I couldn’t tell you goodbye. I know what I did, walking out like that. It was wrong, but after what we had, I just couldn’t…there were no words. I hope you’ll understand. I know you’re famous, and I’m, ha, I don’t even know anymore, but I felt something when I was with you. I don’t know how you feel, or if you’ll even get this message, but I just wanted you to know that it meant something to me, Maddie.” There was a long pause on the line. I thought he’d hung up. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
“That song, why did you have to go and do that, huh?” He laughed a clipped laugh. “Anyway, these types of relationships never work, believe me, I’ve tried…Um, not that you want that or anything…I just meant… Oh never mind. I called to tell you that the night we spent together was the best night I’ve ever spent with anyone. I should’ve said that. I should’ve told you that before you left. I shouldn’t have come back after the show, but that song— you got to me. You really did.”
“Anyway, I wish you well, Maddie Royce. Thank you for making me feel again. I will never, ever forget you.”
Then he was gone. It was meant to be closure, but it didn’t feel like it. It felt like just the beginning of what could’ve been something wonderful. I just had to figure out how to get back in touch with him. I sent Trase a text asking him to attempt to find Blake, in a discreet manner. I wanted to talk to him, but I didn’t want to get him in trouble. I was giving Trase an impossible task; I knew it, but I had to try.
I was so tired. Tired of playing games with Logan. Tired of portraying, even if not on purpose, some kind of pristine princess. That wasn’t me. I hated to let my fans down, but if they couldn’t accept me for who I was, then I couldn’t help that. I didn’t want to be a sham. But I didn’t want the events of that night to come out either. I wasn’t that kind of girl. There had to be an in-between.
I lay back down. When I closed my eyes, all I could see was what would be on that tape, if it existed. If it had been only the four of us, that would’ve been one thing, but that wasn’t how it went down.
When those doors opened, the scene before me was unlike anything I’d ever imagined. There was a large indoor swimming pool on one side of the room and various couches, both plush velvet and leather, on the other side of the room. The place was buzzing with people.
No one looked at us any differently, even though Lacy, Jackson, and Logan were celebrities. It was like their celebrity fell off when they walked in. No one paid us any attention at all, in fact. We were spectators. I closed my eyes, feeling a blush rise all over, but Logan was quick to tell me that there was nothing to be ashamed of here.
An older woman, probably in her forties, sporting an extra-long platinum ponytail that stemmed from a cone atop her head, stepped up to Logan; she was wearing a diamond necklace and nothing else. She kissed both of his cheeks then Jackson’s. She welcomed us and asked us to enjoy all of the amenities of her club. She also reminded Logan of the rules. He slipped off his robe, revealing himself. Jackson and Lacy followed suit. I stood there, stunned by it all. I wasn’t sure whether to bolt or join.
“I can tell that you’re going to enjoy this, Maddie. Just let yourself. The world says this is unacceptable, but think about how you feel.”
I felt turned on.
He walked around me and slipped off my robe. “Ah, see, you’re beautiful. I knew you would be! Isn’t she beautiful, Stella?” he asked the woman with the ponytail.
“Yes, she is. Perhaps, we could become better acquainted after you get settled in.” I didn’t say anything. She walked away.
“Take it in, dollface,” Logan whispered.
I watched ponytail lady walk over and sit in the lap of a man who she didn’t seem to know. Stella’s ponytail bounced up and down as she rode the man. A couple of onlookers gathered, touching her breasts, fondling her as they watched her. This was just one of many groups of people expressing themselves sexually. It seemed both lewd and natural at the same time. They weren’t ashamed, but I was.
“I can’t do this,” I said, picking up my robe.
“Why?” Logan asked as Lacy and Jackson made their way over to one of the many exhibits. “You don’t want to be wi
th me?”
“I do, but I didn’t think it would be like this—”
“It can be however you want it to be, Maddie. That’s the point. There are no rules here. No statuses. No prying photographers or judgments. Just pleasure.”
As he spoke, he led me over to a chaise lounge and pressed me back on it. We’d barely kissed, but his hand was between my legs in a flash, touching me. Stella came back over and leaned over me. She brushed her knuckles across one of my nipples. At her touch, a chill ran over my skin. I was shocked that she would do something like that uninvited. I wasn’t a lesbian; however, it was thrilling.
“Logan,” she said, “taste her. She looks delicious.” Logan rolled his eyes at her. “He’s a selfish lover, that one. Taste her or move out of the way so I can.” At that, Logan began going down on me. His movements were greedy and mechanical, but coupled with being fondled by this beautiful stranger of a woman, it was enough to bring me to the brink. He slid on a condom and fucked me hard. Stella massaged my breasts with her tongue until I came. I felt Logan pull out. When I opened my eyes, I realized we were the spectacle. We were the ones being watched and enjoyed by others. And Logan was offering me to another man, who was poised to enter me, as if I were just a toy to be handed around.
I jumped up feeling ashamed. So very ashamed. I ran for the door. I paused and watched in horror as he whipped off the condom, slid on a new one, and another woman took my place. I got dressed, grabbed my things, and headed for the front door. Jackson and Lacy chased after me, but I had nothing to say to them. I got in the limo that had brought us and left them all there.
After that night, I didn’t hear from Logan again. Jackson had gotten in touch to make sure that I was all right, but that was about it. He apologized for Logan’s behavior. Jackson thought I knew where we were going and he had no idea that Logan meant to share me without my consent. He assured me, that wasn’t what the club was about. He also said that men needed a female to get inside the club. Logan had used me.
Sex was natural. I wasn’t ashamed of wanting sex, but I was ashamed of what I’d done in that place with Logan. I’d made a mistake. I was young and naïve, and he’d taken advantage. I wouldn’t want a video of that getting out. I wouldn’t want my family to see me on display as people watched my sexual exploits. I didn’t know Stella, but she didn’t seem like the kind of person who would be taken advantage of… That was it! I had to go to the source. Stella.
Just as the thought came into my mind, I got a message back from Trase. It read, Open your laptop and enable your Skype. I have a message for you.
I typed back, Haven’t even unpacked it.
Grab it, it’s urgent.
Thinking that there might be news on the alleged sex tape, I leapt off the bed and grabbed my computer. Of course, the battery was on empty, so I snatched the charger and plugged it in. I stubbed my toe on the leg of the bed so I was cussing when I opened the Skype application.
“Maddie.”
I looked up and saw those sea-green eyes that haunted my dreams. The set of peepers that seemed to make my whole world better.
“Blake? How?”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m so glad to see your face. You look beautiful.”
I could see myself in the corner of the screen, and I looked like a hot mess. I laughed. I reached out, touching his face on the screen. “I never thought I would see you again.”
He smiled and looked down. “That was the plan, but you know what they say about best-laid plans.”
“I got your message. I really do wish I had known that was my send-off. I would’ve kissed you again. I would’ve said good—”
“Shh!” he interrupted. “We never say the ‘G’ word. We only say, ‘Bye’ or ‘See ya later.’ It’s a soldier thing.”
“Okay,” I said. “But still, I would’ve held you longer if I’d known you weren’t coming back for me, Blake.”
“Please, don’t,” he said, rubbing his eyes.
“Don’t what?”
“Please don’t make me want you more than I already do. I don’t think I can take it. I can’t have you. We can’t be together. We are literally on opposite sides of the world, Maddie.”
“That’s okay, though. I travel a lot, and I mean, you have to come home sometime, right?” Even I was surprised at how badly I wanted to make this happen. How much I wanted to see him again.
“Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?”
“I rarely do,” I said with a sly grin.
“Be real, Maddie. This life, the military, it’s like a marriage. I’m married to it. Any relationship outside of it just seems impossible. Every time you heard of a soldier being injured on the news, you would wonder if it was me. I would sit here and wonder if you were being faithful. Wonder what you were doing, where you were, if you were safe—”
“Blake, stop. I would already be doing that, and it seems like you would too. I’m sorry but I’m not sorry that I met you. That night was wonderful.”
“It was, but we hardly know each other.”
“We can try to get to know each other better; although, if I’m being honest, I feel like I know you better than I should after just one night. I feel strangely close to you.”
“Me too,” he said.
“Either way, I want to try. I really like you.”
“I really like you too, Maddie.” Something caught his eye and he said, “I have to go.”
“Wait!” I said, not wanting to let him out of my sight.
“See? This is too hard.”
I nodded. “I do see. I understand.” I felt defeated at the thought of never seeing him again. But I understood where he was coming from. It would be unlike any relationship I’d ever been in. It wouldn’t be physical. It would be completely emotional, and that would be too hard. I had to let him go.
“Thank you for calling, Blake Westin. Stay safe.”
“You too, Maddie Royce.” I watched as he looked down at the keyboard then back up at the camera. “Same time tomorrow, then?”
I couldn’t help the tear-laced laugh that escaped me. I nodded eagerly. “All isn’t lost, Westin. Don’t be such a Debbie Downer. Jeez. Let’s take ‘us’ out for a spin and see how we do.”
He agreed and then let me go. It was different, but it was something, and I latched onto it. I wanted Blake Westin in my life, and if this was the only way to have him, then I would try it.
He was different than any man I’d ever met. He had an ease about him that was almost unnatural. But it wasn’t just that. He made me feel at ease, as well. Albeit short, the time we’d spent together had been amazing. I felt like a better version of myself when I was with him. It’d been like someone flipped on my “relaxation” switch and switched off my “celebrity.”
Despite my current situation, I bounced around the room with excitement like a twelve-year-old girl at a slumber party. A knock on the door disrupted my enthusiasm. Who would be looking for me at this hour?
I approached the door with trepidation. “It’s Trase,” he called out.
I flung the door open and threw my arms around him. “How did you do that?”
“I wasn’t always a driver, Ms. Royce. I spent a few years in the Marine Corps. I know people.”
“You continue to astonish me, Trase Williams. How have your talents escaped my attention for so long?” He shrugged. “Want to come in? Watch some TV?”
“Nah, I have my own room thanks to you, boss lady. I was just coming to let you know that the prick, Logan, is down the road at another hotel. I put him up on your account.”
“You did what?”
“I had to. He was making threats like crazy! I thought it would be better to have him there and quiet than here in the same hotel as you—”
“Yeah, you’re totally right. I get it. Thanks for, you know, getting Blake on the line. That was really great of you.”
“About that. I know it’s none of my business, but you do know that it’s no picnic being with a
soldier, right?”
“Picnic? Blake is no picnic, my friend. He’s the main course,” I said, bidding Trase a good evening.
Chapter 10
When I awoke the next day, I knew that I had to get in touch with Stella before I left for Alabama. It wasn’t going to be easy though. It wasn’t as if I knew the name of her club, which had looked more like a house, or her last name to look her up. It wasn’t as if I could call information and ask for “Stella, bouncy tits, sex club, New York City, New York, please.” No, that wouldn’t do. And I certainly couldn’t use my resources. Trase had proven to be very resourceful, but I couldn’t tell him the details of this. I couldn’t tell anyone the truth. To make things more difficult, I couldn’t remember how to get to the mansion. A limo had driven us there, and I’d been too distraught when I left to pay attention. Even if I could remember, I wouldn’t be going anywhere without a dozen or more paparazzi. They were hot on my trail.
That left me with only a few options. I could call Jackson, or I could manipulate Logan. The Jackson option seemed much more appealing. I dialed his cell phone. As it rang, I remembered him giving me the number that night and telling me to call him if I ever needed anything after discovering that we were from the same state on the ride over to the club. He was so very sweet. We’d spoken on occasion at events, but besides him calling me the other day, when all of this mess had hit the fan, we’d never been in touch like this.
“Hello,” a woman answered.
“Hey, um, I’m sorry, I’m looking for Jackson,” I said nervously.
“Jake just took off on some errands with the kids. He left his phone. This is Katie. Can I give him a message?” I rubbed my eyes with the palm of my hand. Her tone was so kind and sincere. I couldn’t drag Jackson and his family into my problems.
Love United (Hollywood Series Book 3) Page 6
