“Hey, Woodby. So, I have this girl—”
“Woodby likes where this is going already.”
Too bad he couldn’t see me rolling my eyes so hard I almost gave myself a concussion. “Come on, dude. Be serious and just listen for a second. There’s this girl I know, Ember. I want to set you up with her.”
“Oh, yeah? Is she hot like her name?”
I was beginning to rethink this entire situation. Woodby was being an idiot. “If you don’t want to take this seriously, then . . .”
“No, I’m taking it seriously,” he said with a laugh that negated his statement. “Tell me about her.”
“She’s . . .” At that I let my voice trail off. How could I describe Ember and everything that I loved about her to somebody like Woodby?
She had all of what I’d call “the basics” of what attracts you to someone. She was smart, beautiful, funny, hardworking, kind, generous. But then there were the other aspects of her that I adored. She was an athlete, like me. So she got how important that part of my life was. She loved food almost as much as I did, which I’d discovered was kind of intoxicating. She was fun to talk to and always made me laugh. I loved the way her mind worked, the weird things she’d come up with and share with me. She had this, I don’t know, calming presence that made silence comfortable and made me feel better. Especially when things got tough. She didn’t take herself too seriously and always seemed to roll with the punches.
“Ember is a lot of fun,” was what I settled on. “You’ll have a good time.”
If he’d noticed how long my pause was, he didn’t say anything about it. “Woodby’s in. Just tell me when and where.”
“I’ll text you when I have all the details. Talk to you later.”
During our conversation I’d managed to make it back to my dorm. I put my key in the lock, but to my surprise, Logan was in our room. I hadn’t seen much of him lately as he was either in class getting ready to graduate, with his girlfriend, Jess (they’d been together since Coach Oakley had lifted his no-dating rule), or training in the weight room or out on the field. At the end of next month he’d be going to the NFL Scouting Combine, and he was trying to get in as much training as he could before he went.
He had wanted to put in a good word for me and see if he could get an invite for me as well, but I told him maybe next year before I graduated. My father hadn’t gone to college, so it was always really important to him that Marley and I graduate. I wasn’t going to let him down, again. Even if playing professional football was my dream.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. “Did that girlfriend of yours finally come to her senses and break up with you?”
He let out a short bark of laughter as I dropped my backpack onto my desk. “You’re hilarious. No, she’s on her way over. But I have a test this week, and I’m attempting to study in what little time I have.”
“Have fun,” I told him as I flopped onto my own bed, still wondering whether or not this double date was a good idea.
Logan put his book down. “What’s going on with you? You look like you need to talk. You have but face.”
“Did you really just call me a butt face?”
“No. You have the I-want-to-talk-about-my-feelings-but-I’m-a-man-so-I-can’t face.”
I probably should have been surprised, but ever since Jess came into his life, he’d been super in touch with his emotional side. I had mocked him for it on more than one occasion. “You should know all about that face.”
“Yeah, I might have originated that face while I was busy being ‘just friends’ with Jess. Come on, lay it on me. I owe you.”
He did owe me. Not only for all the feelings talks I’d endured previously from him, but also because the only reason he and Jess were together now was that I’d protected him and his secret. While I’d fought off my natural inclination to tease him endlessly for doing something so stupid as falling in love with the coach’s daughter back when all dating had been declared off-limits, I’d also wanted to protect him and keep him at school. And on the team. He loved playing almost as much as I did. Not to mention that he was a big part of the reason why we’d won the junior college national championship. Logan had probably been the most excited of us all when Coach allowed the team to start dating again.
“There’s a girl named Ember. We met our junior year in high school, and I fell for her hard and fast. We dated for months, and somehow in the midst of that, my dad and her mom met and fell in love and eloped.”
“Uh-oh.” I had his full attention now. “I think I can guess where this is going.”
“That’s where it went. She moved into my house, and my dad told me to steer clear. He didn’t know we were together because I’d never told him. He had been heartbroken over my mom leaving him for a long time, and I didn’t want to hurt him by telling him how in love I was. Anyway, I saw that he had a point. That odds were Ember and I wouldn’t work out, and it would make it awkward for the rest of our families. About three weeks after her family moved in, I realized that the only way that I could stay away from her was to move out. I asked my maternal grandparents if I could come live with them, and that’s what happened. My dad was sad, but he didn’t try to stop me. I think he knew why I was doing it. And it sucked, and it was hard, and I missed her, but I did it. Anyway, it was probably the most mature decision I’ve ever made.”
“Definitely.” He nodded. “I can vouch for that.”
“Shut up, man. I was trying to do the right thing. For me and for her.”
“I’ve heard the road to hell is paved with girl intentions.”
I chucked one of my pillows at him while he laughed. He sat up, tossing my pillow back. “Did you ever tell her that’s why you moved out? Does she know?” he asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not sure. How could she not, though? It was pretty obvious.”
“Just because we think stuff is obvious doesn’t mean other people perceive it in the same way. Maybe that’s something you should share with her. And how did I not know any of this about you? You’ve always seemed like a bit of an oversharer.”
“There’s things I share because I don’t really care about them and it doesn’t matter who knows them.”
“But Ember’s different?”
She was. “But we’re just friends now.”
“Ha. Tell me something I didn’t invent and fail miserably at,” Logan said.
“What? It’s true.” I had to make it true. I didn’t want to lose Ember again. She was too important to me.
“Yeah, that’s what I spent months telling myself, too. It’s obvious that you still have feelings for this girl.”
He didn’t get it. “This isn’t about breaking some rule of Coach’s. This is about my family. I mean, I don’t think of her as being part of that, but I don’t want to do anything that would wreck things for my dad and my sister.”
“I’ll admit, it’s kind of a weird spot to be in, but it’s not like you’d be the first person in the world this has ever happened to.” He paused, as if considering whether or not he should say the next thing. “How often do you think about her?”
“What?”
“Just from personal experience, I’ve found that when you think about somebody constantly, when they’re on your mind first thing in the morning and the last thing you think about before you fall asleep at night, either you’re in love or dealing with some incredible heartache.”
Both. It was both.
“Wow, that was deep for me, don’t you think?” he asked with a laugh, going over to the mirror above his dresser to fix his hair.
“Yeah. Very uncharacteristic. But I was serious about the friends thing. I have to find a way to make this work. I mean, she told me she’s over it. And she must be, since she’s setting me up with someone else.”
“Really? So you think that’s proof?”
“It seems that way to me.”
There was a knock at our door. “Let’s ask Jess, shall we?”
I tried to say, Don’t drag Jess into this, but it was too late. He greeted his girlfriend with a seriously thorough kiss because they were in a perpetual quest to finally take that gold medal in the PDA Olympics. They were literally joined at the tongue these days.
“I’m still in here. I didn’t leave, just so you guys know.”
Jess broke the kiss off, sheepishly saying, “Sorry. What’s going on with you guys? Did I interrupt something?”
She made herself comfortable on Logan’s bed, and he sat so close to her that they were basically conjoined twins.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing,” I said, right as Logan launched into a summarized version of what I’d just told him.
When I shot him a dirty look, he said, “What? I don’t keep anything from my girl. And we need a woman’s perspective. Do you think she set him up with someone else because she’s over him?”
“It’s hard to say without knowing her. But I think we’re in a pretty strong either/or situation. Either she doesn’t have feelings for you and is completely over you and has set you up with someone because of those non-feelings, or she does have feelings and knows you can’t be together so she’s making you off-limits to herself and encouraging you to date other people. I know how hard it is when you’re falling for someone but can’t date them.”
“Then how come you didn’t encourage me to date other people?” Logan asked in mock outrage.
“You weren’t allowed to date anyone at all, and even if you had been, I still wouldn’t have set you up with anyone. Because I wanted you to keep playing football, and you couldn’t have done that with two slashed Achilles’ heels.”
Apparently amused at his girlfriend’s jealousy and empty threat, he kissed her on the nose. They were so saccharine sweet it made my teeth ache.
“I set her up, too.” I’d forgotten to mention that earlier.
“With who?” Jess asked.
“Woodby.”
“Dude, mistake,” Logan said with a grimace. “Woodby’s a good guy. I mean, he tries too hard to be funny and wants to convert us all into vegetarians, but he’s decent.”
“Why is that a bad thing?” I only wanted the best for Ember.
“You should have set her up with somebody like Johnson. That guy’s an a—idiot,” he quickly corrected, “and she’d definitely never go out with him again.”
“Yeah, but Johnson would never keep his hands to himself, and then I’d have to kill him, and I am not getting kicked off the team for it because I’m pretty sure that’s one of Coach’s rules. Thou shalt not kill.”
“You’re confusing him with the Bible,” Logan said. “Which is a common mistake, given Coach thinks his rules were handed down from on high.”
That made Jess giggle. She murmured something to Logan, and I was getting more grossed out by the minute.
“Just so you know,” I informed them, “neither one of you has been any help.”
Jess made a sad face at me. “I’m sorry. I wish I could do more. Maybe you should introduce us, and I can get to know her better and find out why she’s doing this.”
That idea had some merit. “She was saying that she’s a little behind in algebra.”
“Perfect! Send her to the math lab, and I will get to the bottom of this.”
“I like when you get to the bottom of things,” Logan said as he nuzzled behind her ear.
“I’m going to go and . . . vomit somewhere that’s not here. My innocent eyes can’t take any more of this,” I announced, grabbing my keys and my phone before I left them to whatever shenanigans they had planned for the day.
I was going to keep telling myself that I thought they were disgustingly sweet and that nobody should have to witness it, but I suspected the truth was that I was more than a little jealous of what they shared.
And I wanted it for myself.
But not with someone like Bethany.
With Ember.
CHAPTER SIX
EMBER
I texted my mom, checking in with her as I walked across the campus’s main quad. She sent me back a short message that said, I’m fine, Ember. I could practically hear her exasperation. I figured she should be happy that I was limiting myself to one text to her a day. I worried about her all the time. I couldn’t help it.
Entering the math lab, I found the person I was looking for.
“Hi, Keilani,” I said.
She smiled at me, but her smiles weren’t like anyone else’s. All of her infectious optimism seemed to bubble up inside of her and shined out from her face. You couldn’t help but feel happy when you were around her.
“Hey, Ember! How are things going with you catching up?”
I filled her in on each class, telling her I had some concern about algebra. The teacher had told me what chapters to look at, and I’d decided to take Bash’s advice (there was a first time for everything, right?) and head over to the math lab.
“Funny you should say that. I actually had a tutor request you, in case you came in.”
“What?” That seemed strange.
“Her name is Jess Oakley.” She stood up from behind her desk and waved to someone behind me.
Suddenly everything clicked in my brain. Jess. The girl Bash had told me about. Which meant he had to have talked to her about me, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about that particular piece of information. But why would she request to tutor me?
She had dark-blonde hair and dark-brown eyes, and objectively, she was average. Okay, she was gorgeous, and I was already envious. “Hi, I’m Jess. It’s so nice to finally meet you. Ember is such an unusual name. Where is it from?”
Inwardly I sighed. You’d think by now I’d be used to answering this question. “My dad was an award-winning poet, and they named me after his most famous poem, ‘Embers of Our Dying Love.’ Which probably should have been my mom’s first clue that their marriage wasn’t going to last.”
“Was?” Keilani asked.
“About a year after he divorced my mom, he died in a car accident.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Keilani said while Jess nodded sympathetically.
What I wanted to say was, Don’t be, because he was a total deadbeat dad who had nothing to do with us and left all his prize poetry money to some scholarship foundation for poets. But then I remembered that it was the kind of thing I couldn’t say out loud if I wanted people to think that I was normal and didn’t have extreme daddy issues. So I said, “Thanks. It was a long time ago, and I’m okay.”
A shadow passed over Keilani’s face, which seemed strange since I’d just told her I wasn’t upset about my father, but I realized her gaze was trained behind me. There was a tall, good-looking guy, a little older, talking to one of the students. They were laughing, and then they walked out of the room.
“What was that?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“Someone who forgets about boundaries and where he is and is not supposed to go,” Keilani muttered under her breath before turning back to her computer.
Feeling dismissed, I turned toward Jess, silently questioning what was going on. “Come with me,” she whispered. “I will spill all the delicious tea on that particular situation.”
We hurried over to an empty table, and I had only just sat down when Jess began to speak. “Okay, so that’s Ford Blackwell. He’s the quarterback coach for the football team. And I think he’s secretly in love with Keilani, and even though she denies it, I know she’s in love with him.”
“How do you know?”
“Just some stuff she’s said. And at Halloween last year they ran into each other at a party, but they were both in costume, so they didn’t know who the other one was, and they had this fantastic conversation where they found out they had so much in common and were finishing each other’s sentences. She really liked him, right up until he took off his mask.”
“So what is up with them now?”
“Well,” Jess said with a sigh, “I keep trying to get Keilani to admit how sh
e feels, but she’s a lot more stubborn than I’d realized. Apparently something happened at a Christmas party for the athletics department. I’ve heard rumors of mistletoe and a quick kiss, but Keilani refuses to confirm or deny, which is infuriating.”
I found this all way more fascinating than I probably should have, but I’d always enjoyed harmless gossip. I took out my algebra book and laid it on the table. “We should probably get started. I’m a little lost. I did okay in math back in high school, but then Satan put the alphabet into algebra, and I’ve been floundering ever since.”
Jess laughed as she took my book. “It’s not as hard as it looks. We’ll get you caught up in no time. I’m so glad that we’re like roommates-in-law.”
“Roommates-in-law?”
“Didn’t Bash tell you? I’m dating his roommate, Logan. We’ve been together for a few months now.”
I should probably stop jumping to conclusions that every woman in Bash’s life was after him. “I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah. I’ve learned recently that Bash does keep some things to himself. Like he told us a little of your history with him.” She looked distinctly uncomfortable, and I wondered if what he’d told her was bad. If we were really going to be friends, I felt like I needed to explain my side. To defend myself. I wanted her to have the whole story.
“I don’t know what he said, but here’s what actually happened.”
I had a beyond-serious crush on Ian Sebastian from the moment that I’d moved to my new school. My mother had accepted a much better paying job at a high school about an hour away from our home, and we packed up and moved. I’d been really angry at the time because I’d had to leave my friends, but when she showed me the girls’ volleyball team’s stats for my new school, I’d been more on board.
I’d been able to join the team and practiced with them all summer and made new friends. As soon as school started, I immediately began scouting out which boys were actually tall enough for me. There were a couple on the basketball team, but they had that superlanky, skinny build. The only other guy was Bash.
Just a Boyfriend Page 5
