“Slow down.” Her lips caress my Adam’s apple. I stop mid-motion and return to the slow rhythm she’s taught me with her hips.
Ellie sighs when I hit a spot deep inside her, every time I leave it and every time I return. Every one of the little sighs sends shivers down my spine and drives me closer to the point of no return.
My biceps shake and my dick twitches furiously inside her. But I clench my jaw and hold back.
She needs to come first. She… her body convulses around me, choking my dick until it bursts and liquid heat runs down my balls. I pump twice more and shatter into a million pieces while my body twitches uncontrollably over her.
I’ve lost all control. My brain registers explosion after explosion inside me, but I’m only a passenger.
I collapse and bury my face against her neck. I might have just died and had my rebirth in the same second.
“How about we go again in ten minutes?” she whispers in my ear.
“You’ll be the death of me.” I chuckle against her shoulder and fall asleep two seconds later.
“You know, with a little more practice, you won’t be half as bad as I thought you would be.”
“I’m taking that as a compliment.” I detach myself from Ellie and fall back against the couch after our morning fuck. This laughing thing after sex is new. I kind of like it.
She giggles. “You should.”
Ellie shines this morning. She fucking should after all the orgasms she had last night and the one two minutes ago. My leg might hurt like I ran a fucking marathon on it, but I’d do it again. Our sexathon turned out a lot better than expected. Fuck, that woman is creative. And sexy as hell when she tells me what to do.
Why the hell have I never let a woman take control in bed before? It’s fucking fantastic. Different. A new experience.
I should have known that sex with Ellie would be different from everything I’ve known. She isn’t like the other women—and not in a bad way. She’s… Ellie. I bend down and kiss her again.
“I didn’t mean what I said the day before.” I pull her head on my shoulder and caress her hair. Even the curls feel different than the fake blonde extensions I’m used to. While the fake hair can feel coarse and plastic, hers has a soft, feathery quality. Everything about her is soft and warm. Combined with her ability not to take shit from me, she’s… unique.
The morning after can be an awkward thing, particularly if the other party doesn’t get the hints and wants to stay around longer than she’s supposed to stay—not that I would expect Ellie to leave my house after last night. She has nowhere else to go and needs my help.
The crazy thing is, even if she could, I wouldn’t want her to leave my arms. With her, I don’t want our time to come to an end. I want a repeat as soon as possible. Nighttime can’t come soon enough. I’m eager to learn more new things and have more unique experiences with her.
“You don’t have to sugarcoat it; I know I don’t look like a model.”
“I like your breasts. And your skin.” I lift one hand and trail my fingertips over her nipple. I can’t help it, I grin like an idiot as it rises off its soft bed.
“Thanks, but I don’t need pity compliments either.” She brushes my finger away and my hand plops back down on a pillow.
“Then I won’t tell you how fucking fantastic your lips feel around my dick.” I settle farther down in the cushions. Thank God my couch is wide enough to host us both.
“Liked that, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t think you’d be that good.” Who would have thought the nightdress lady is a grade A cocksucker?
“I said I’d teach you a thing or two. When we’re finished, you’ll be a gift to women. Until then, you can be my boy toy.” She winks and laughs at her own joke.
That’s another thing I like about her, she doesn’t take herself too serious. Another new experience. I don’t think she knows the meaning of the word vain. And while looks matter to me, I can see how life could be easier without putting too much emphasis on physical appearance.
“You make it sound like your super old.”
She pushes up on her elbows. “You realize I’m a lot older than you, right?”
I push up as well, hovering over her. “You’re not that old.” She’s what, something over thirty?
She lifts herself even higher until our faces are at the same level. “How old do you think I am?”
I wink. “I’ve been told not to answer that question.”
“Good boy.” She strokes my hair with one hand, but I duck my head and dive away from her touch. “I’m thirty-four.”
“Like I said, you aren’t that old.” I wink again. “I’m twenty-five. We’re less than ten years apart.” Then I drop back on the couch and pull her on top of my chest again. I could lie here all day.
“Let’s change the topic.” She tries to inch away from me, but I won’t let her. She feels way too good cuddled against me. Who would have thought I’d be that much into cuddling?
“You really have nice breasts.” I trail a finger down her soft skin. Even if she doesn’t believe me, her skin is fantastic. She’s soft and creamy. Everywhere.
“They got a lot bigger when I had Johnny. Speaking of which, I have to check on him. He could wake up any minute, and I don’t want him to find us naked.” Ellie pushes her hands against my chest. This time I let her. I’d kind of forgotten about her son.
I sigh. “Sure. Do you see my pants?”
“I think they’re behind the couch.”
I turn and take a look over the backrest. “Yup. That’s where they ended up.”
She giggles. “We sure made a mess. I think your couch needs cleaning too.” She points at the spots of dried up seed on the leather.
“I’ll call the cleaning lady.”
Her head flies back in my direction. “No, let me do it. I’m not sure I want her to see the stains.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Are you hiding me?”
“I’d rather not have others know.”
That’s a first. And it stings. But I don’t want Ellie to know that. She’s right. It’s just sex. Why tell others? “But… we’ll keep fucking?”
She shrugs. “It’s just sex.”
“Are you going to use me to boost your self-esteem?”
She closes her eyes for a second.
I put my hand on her shoulder. “Did I say something wrong?”
“Let’s get dressed.” She shrugs my hand from her shoulder.
I try to catch her gaze with mine, but she sits up and averts her gaze. I sigh and reach for my cane. Then I go in search of the rest of my clothes. And hers.
It takes a while, but after a trip under the couch, I get hold of everything. A pity. But a necessary one. Johnny shouldn’t find us naked. I get it.
I hand Ellie the nightdress and drop down on the couch again, trying to calm my breathing. My knee pulses after I crawled around on the floor and my stamina isn’t where I want it to be either. I need to up my cardio. Somehow. The new physical therapist, which I still haven’t found, better have some ideas.
I put on my pants and turn my attention back to Ellie. “What’s with the bruises? Did I… hurt you?” I stop her before she can pull her nightdress over her thighs. Why the hell does she have small bruises all over her upper legs?
“No. You didn’t do anything. I need a thrombosis injection once a day. Wasn’t it the same when you hurt your knee?”
I lower my eyes. “I had them while I was staying at the hospital.”
“And then you didn’t need them anymore?” Her voice is soft, but I can’t look her in the eyes right now.
“I… it didn’t matter to me.” My voice cracks.
“It didn’t matter to you whether you died of thrombosis?” Her voice is barely a whisper.
I drop my head until my chin meets my chest. Hearing her say it out loud makes me feel… ashamed.
“I’m so sorry, Michael.” Her arms reach for me, and she pulls me into a tight hug. I
let her. My head drops to her shoulder, and my arms find their way around her of their own volition, making me realize how lonely I’ve been since my accident.
I talked to my mom and dad. And to Dr. Winter because I had to. But talking to Ellie and talking to them isn’t the same. Maybe because I want to connect with her. Maybe because she didn’t know me before the accident. Yeah, that must be it. With her, I don’t feel like she’s only getting half of what I once was. She doesn’t know the old Michael. And something tells me she wouldn’t have liked that guy. At all.
“Do you need help?” Ellie is busy cleaning the couch after Sergei left. Thank God that man is gone. One more wink in Ellie’s direction while serving us dinner and I would have planted my fist in his face. Who does he think he is to flirt with her in front of me?
I couldn’t even touch her in front of Johnny and mark my territory. The little guy doesn’t know about how close his mom and I have become. For now, we want to keep it that way. Sergei is another matter. I might have to take him aside and talk with him privately tomorrow.
If his cooking weren’t as fucking good as it unfortunately is, I’d fire him. But who knows if we’d find a chef as good as he is again? One who knows how to cook kid-friendly meals. Ellie’s amazement about how many things Johnny’s willing to try when Sergei prepares them beats me disliking the guy. For now.
“Can I ask you something?” I watch as she rubs furiously on the stains.
“Sure.” She doesn’t look up but keeps rubbing.
I bend over her and take a closer look at what she’s doing. “Leave it. If it doesn’t come out, I’ll buy a new couch.”
She closes her eyes. “Please don’t waste your money like that. I’m sure I’ll find a way to take care of the stains.”
“I can always call the cleaning lady.” I’ll pay her to keep her mouth shut. It’s none of her business anyway whom I choose to… sleep with.
“You wanted to ask me something?” She turns around and sits up straight, abandoning stains only she can detect.
I sit down next to her. “Where’s Johnny’s dad?”
Ellie sighs. “He left me shortly after Johnny was born.”
What an asshole. “That must have been tough.”
She shrugs. “It was for the best. He didn’t want to be with me. Love can’t be forced. We’re better off without him.”
“Not to sound like an asshole, but… you’re on the pill, right? I really don’t want kids.” At least I’m being upfront with not wanting them.
She closes her eyes for a second. “I’m not on the pill, but before you say something, I get a shot every six months, that way I can’t forget about taking the pill. And just so you know, I didn’t get pregnant on purpose with Johnny. If I ever have another baby, I’ll double check it’s what both my partner and I want.”
I place my hand over hers. “I didn’t mean—”
She places her other hand over mine. “Apology accepted. Now are you finished with your interrogation?” She inspects the leather again. Then she takes one hand away, picks up the cloth and rubs a little here and there.
“Actually…” I scratch my neck. “I have one more question. Why are you living in that dump?”
Ellie sits up straighter. “Roslindale is a develop—”
“Cut the crap, Ellie. It’s a dump, and we both know it.” I take the cloth out of her hand.
She finally meets my eyes again. “I… I was stupid. I believed Steven wanted to grow old with me when all he wanted was a body to warm his bed until he found someone better. I was foolish enough to rely on his promises to support me no matter what and—”
“Are you saying he isn’t paying you child support?” I clench my fingers around the cane. If I ever meet that asshole in person….
“What I’m saying is, he left me with a lot of debt I took on because there would be two salaries to support the family. And no, he isn’t paying for Johnny.”
“You should sue him.” I stare right into her eyes.
She looks straight back into mine. “Not all of us can afford to pay lawyers.”
I place my hand on her shoulder. “I could—”
Ellie shakes off my hand. “No, Steven is gone for good. The last thing I need is him fighting me for custody. Let him rot in hell. I can take care of myself. And Johnny.” She turns back to the nonexistent stain and rubs with so much force I’m afraid there won’t be any leather left after she’s finished.
“Since you don’t want me to buy a new couch, can you please stop your assault on the poor thing?”
Ellie pauses, staring at her hand and the couch then swallows audibly.
“Come here.” I sink down next to her and pull the cloth out of her hands.
She’s resistant at first, holding herself rigid when I try to put my arms around her. But I’m persistent and patient. One after the other, her muscles relax, and she melts into my embrace.
Crazy how perfect her head fits against my shoulder. Crazy how perfect her soft curves feel against my muscles.
I’ve never been much of a cuddler, but with her, everything is different. I can be different. It doesn’t feel like I need to prove myself to her. She’s seen me at my worst already.
“I need to tell you something,” I say into her hair.
“You’re secretly married and have three kids?” she mumbles against my neck. It tickles where her lips graze my skin.
“Not funny.” I drop my chin on the bed of feathery curls.
“Sorry.” She snuggles closer.
I swallow. “The day you… you threw up on me…”
“I never really apologized for—”
She wants to turn around to me, but I tighten my arm around her and prevent her from doing so. “Don’t. There’s nothing to apologize for. If it hadn’t been for you… I…. After you left….” I hold her closer to me. “I nearly died.”
“What?” I’m sure if she could, she’d jump up from the couch and tower over me. But she needs crutches and my arms keep her locked against me. I can’t meet her eyes right now, but I need to feel her.
“I… I smashed a few things… and I….”
“What did you smash?” she whispers into the silence.
I clear my throat. “The shower stool.” I swallow and brace myself. “I smashed the shower stool into the shower stall. There… there was glass everywhere. And I… I cut myself,” I swallow. “There was blood everywhere.”
She pushes against my chest with surprising power, turns around, and faces me. “Holy… is that why you have scars on the inside of your hands?”
I nod, refusing to meet her eyes. “Yeah. I fell on my arms and my hands. I didn’t do it on purpose, but… I was lucky I didn’t injure any nerves. There were pieces of glass everywhere and I… I wanted to feel again and tried to crush them in my hands. But then I looked at the wounds on my wrist and… that’s when I realized I didn’t want to die. I was dead on the inside, but… I…. Hockey is—was my life.”
Her palm caresses my cheek. “I’m so sorry. I—”
“Mommy.” Johnny appears around the corner with his stuffed dinosaur under one arm.
“Can’t you sleep, pumpkin?” Ellie reaches for her crutches while the little guy rubs his eyes.
He’s cute—kind of. Looking at him now, I see so much of Ellie in him. It’s not only the eyes but also the expression on his face.
She walks over to her son and motions for him to head for their bedroom again. Once they’re out of sight, I fall against the couch and close my eyes. Ellie’s eyes were as big as the kid’s when I held her yesterday after our second round of mind-blowing sex. When the moon was nice enough to let me see more than her silhouette in the dark. The lady doesn’t have to hide her lush body in the darkness, that’s for sure.
Fifteen minutes later she returns. “Sorry. He was seeing ghosts in the bedroom.”
“Don’t apologize. He needs his mommy.” I pat the seat beside me. Now is my time to cuddle with her… and do other things.<
br />
She smiles and sits down beside me again. “About earlier—” I silence her with a kiss, but she pulls away. “I—”
“Shut up and kiss me.” That works. I don’t want to talk anymore. I might have said too much earlier. Better not to bring it up again.
Just when I think she’s lost in our kiss she pulls away again. “Just so we’re on the same page.” She pushes her hands against my chest. “I’ll use you as a boy toy, and once my cast is removed, this arrangement ends.”
“Or we’ll continue to have sex now and then. I could be at your beck and call.” I wink.
“Michael—”
“Just shut up now and let me take care of you.” Which I do. Slowly, like she taught me.
Ellie continues giving me new pointers now and then, not that I need them, but I kind of like her being in charge. It’s hot. It’s a fucking perfect arrangement I intend to keep for a while.
Chapter 16
Michael
“And here we have a special meal for the youngest at the table. I present the dinosaur egg.” Sergei places a plate with an egg sunny side up before Johnny and bows.
“Tino’s ar’ ded.” Johnny looks at Sergei in a way it’s clear he doesn’t like being lied to and huffs between each word.
Good job, little guy. How many times have I cursed the day I hired the Russian chef now?
I should just get it over with and fire him.
Sergei places his hand over his heart in a dramatic gesture. Then he crumbles to the floor. The little guy nearly falls from his seat when he giggles and laughs his heart out.
As much as I want to see Johnny happy, it’s time to end this charade. “That’s enough, Sergei. We would like to eat in peace now.”
Ellie locks eyes with me over the rim of her cup as I reach for mine, telling me silently to turn it down a notch. One would think we’d done this breakfast thing a million times already when it’s only been two weeks since they moved in with me.
My living area sure as hell has been conquered by the little boy. Toys are spread everywhere. How is it that the smallest person in the room needs the most space? He doesn’t even have that many things. They’re just spread evenly.
Fighting against Gravity: A Standalone Enemies-to-Lovers Sports Romance (An Ice Tigers Hockey Romance Book 3) Page 14
