When I arrived Eri said to me, “You look terrible Colin. You need sleep.” Then, before I could answer, she asked, “Have you even had any sleep?”
All I could do was to tell her how I felt before admitting I’d tried but the sleep had been very poor. I pointed to Kari and told Eri she’d helped me to my quarters. I explained about the nightmares I’d been suffering through as well. Eri had a concerned look on her face as she ordered me to come to Medical with her immediately after I finished eating. I protested of course, telling I had a lot to do, as usual at times like this, my protests fell on deaf ears. In the end, I accepted the inevitable and simply did as I was told. I have to admit, even I could tell my mind didn’t seem to be firing on all cylinders right then. When we made it to the medical bay, Eri ordered me up onto the table before giving me a complete and thorough examination. She was clearly not at all happy with me, especially about the damp dressings. She told me I needed to come to Medical every day to have the dressings checked and changed if necessary. Normally she would not have used these types of dressings on my wounds, she would have used a gel like substance that seals the wound, promotes healing and is absorbed by the body as it heals. This material had to be reserved for more serious injuries however because there simply wasn’t enough of it to go around. She’d previously told me I needed adequate food and rest, but repeated that mantra, she told me I needed to take better care of myself. Still, as she told me this I wondered how, because circumstances kept getting in the way whenever I tried. I have to admit; at the time I was feeling very sorry for myself. I replied I really had been trying to rest but my mind was just refusing to relax. Eri, of course, didn’t accept my excuses.
If Ani and Shasi hadn’t been so seriously wounded, if they had been conscious and mobile, I think they would have made sure they kept me on the straight and narrow. As it was, even I knew I was neglecting myself, not deliberately but neglecting myself nonetheless. I idly wondered why so many of the people on this ship seemed to be so invested in keeping me healthy, I honestly really didn’t understand it, not then. Eri told me to lie down before giving me an injection. A few seconds later, I was in a deep sleep. It was so quick, it seemed like someone flicked a switch causing my brain to switch off. I woke a full shift later, or I should say, Eri woke me. If I dreamed this time, I couldn’t remember it, which after my previous attempt at sleep was probably a good thing I thought. While I still wasn’t completely rested I was much better than when Eri put me to sleep.
Eri asked, “How do you feel now Colin.”
I told her I was much better than I was when she bought me here but admitted to her I probably needed even more sleep.
She said, “Colin, chemically induced sleep is OK for extreme situations but it is not good for you to be relying on it regularly. You cannot keep going like this. Right now we really cannot afford to have you down as well. I am taking you to the mess for food. You will eat what I tell you, when I tell you. After that you are to retire to your quarters and try to have at least another three or four hours of natural sleep. Only, then are you allowed to get back to doing what needs to be done. Right now, you’re thinking is very sluggish and confused. I don’t think you could possibly be making good decisions, except perhaps by accident.”
I thought this a strange comment. I was not a ships officer, or even a Federation citizen. What did she mean? Yes, I know, I’m as thick as two short planks, I really had no idea about what she meant be that comment or what plans she had for me. While my sluggish mind worked its way through all this, Eri marched me down to the mess and chose a plate of food for me to eat. She then stood over me to make sure I ate all of it.
While I was eating I said to her, “I need some advice Eri.”
Gently she asked, “What about?”
I said, “I need some help to find someone to take charge till Captain Carlon is well enough to take over.”
She replied, “We can talk about that after you have had some more sleep. I agree, we do need to discuss this but you are nowhere near alert enough, or well enough to make the types of decisions you will need to make.”
Once again, I had no idea what her point was, but by now I knew her well enough to know I would not be able to persuade her to tell me any more till I’d done as I was told. When I finished eating, she escorted me down to my quarters and made sure I went in.
She tried to follow me in but I rather acidly commented, “I’m a big boy now, there is no need for you to tuck me in mother.”
She laughed at my quip before leaving me alone. I lay down on the bunk and quickly went back to sleep. This time, if I had any dreams at all, I really can’t remember them. When I woke I felt the most refreshed I had in days. I showered again before dressing in a new set of clean clothing. Just as I was about to go up for food, the door annunciator sounded indicating someone wished to see me. I opened the door to find Kari waiting.
I said hello as she smiled before saying, “Eri sent me down to make sure you are awake and that you eat”, before she led me towards the mess.
On the way, she explained to me that I needed to eat before attending a meeting. I wondered what meeting she was talking about. I thought to myself, all the officers were out of commission so who could have called a meeting and why would I be invited. Once again, I did as I was told, eating a good meal before allowing Kari to guide me to the meeting place. Till now, the only surviving people I knew of who were still conscious, that I felt completely comfortable talking to were Eri and Kari. Ani and Shasi as well as all the officers who’d become my friends were still either unconscious, or in a stasis pod. When I arrived at the meeting room Eri was waiting. She told me to just relax here while we waited for one other person to arrive.
While we waited I received the classic, “We need to talk” comment and wondered what that was all about.
I waited till Harlo, the ships xenobiologist arrived. When he entered, I found myself wondering what they wanted to talk to me about.
Once we were all seated Eri came straight to the point and asked, “Colin, what do you know about the Tangesha people.”
“Well”, I replied, “not much really. Obviously I know the little you’ve told me up till now, and I know what I have observed in terms of behaviours. I also know this ship is crewed by an elite group of Tangesha so anything I observe here may not necessarily be representative of your species. I know I like those of you I’ve met so far as people. Clearly there is a lot more for me to learn about your people but that can only come with time I think.”
Eri said to me, “That is an understatement Colin. One thing you do need to know right now is that we, the Tangesha people, have a highly stratified society. There are two reasons for this, one biological, one cultural.”
“One biological, one cultural”, I replied, “what do you mean?”
“Biologically, our brains are wired in very specific ways. While there are no social barriers to someone advancing in our society, once one of us has moved into their chosen profession, it is almost impossible for us to change, at least, our biology makes it very difficult and the process can be long and protracted. We develop very strong thought patterns associated with our chosen occupations. Usually, a Tangesha will naturally gravitate to the occupation that best suits their mind. One of the professions, the callings we can have is as a leader. What this means is that if someone isn’t already a leader, it is very highly unlikely they would ever become one, not successfully. Their brain would simply not be wired correctly for the role.”
She paused to see if I wanted to comment. Of course my mind was just spinning in place, it wasn’t gaining any traction and I could not understand why she was telling me all this.
To give myself some thinking time I commented, “I have come across quite a few human leaders whose brains are not wired correctly for their roles either, not really, but they still seem to muddle through. Admittedly, that tends to be by being autocratic, or by bullying those who they are supposedly leading into compliance.”<
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I still didn’t know where this conversation was going but I already didn’t much like the direction. I had no idea why Eri was telling me any of this but felt that when the penny finally dropped, I probably wouldn’t like it at all. I just couldn’t think of what to say, even though I knew I should say something.
She continued, “Colin, as you know, I am a medical technician, I believe humans would call me a doctor, it is all I ever wanted to be. Kari is the same. Harlo here is a scientist. Broadly, his interest is in learning new things to help expand our knowledge of the Universe. Many of the scientific discoveries made by people like Harlo contribute to Federation policy. He has simply specialised as a xenobiologist. We also have engineers, mechanics, cooks, leaders and many other professions. Many of these professions are just a specialised part of a larger group. For example, engineers, or at least professional engineers, are simply a specialist form of the scientific grouping.”
Once again she paused to see if I wanted to comment. I asked, “And the cultural issue?”
Eri said, “As I said, once we specialise, we can’t change, at least not easily, and not usually successfully. Right now, this crew has no one who is an acknowledged leader. Worse, if any of the Tangesha on this ship tried to take control, it is highly unlikely the rest would all follow him or her. Nearly everyone has some small amount of leadership talent even if it is only recognised among a small group. To translate that talent into leading the entire crew on this ship however, would be much more difficult, in my opinion, most likely impossible. For this ship to be saved, for us to be able to go home, we need a leader, a leader who everyone will acknowledge as being in charge. The members of this ship’s crew all know their individual jobs. What they don’t necessarily know is how their job fits with everyone else’s. They need direction. We could almost certainly find someone who could lead the engineering staff for example, not as well as Solan did, but we could still make do with someone. The same goes for nearly all of the other ship’s departments. What we cannot find is someone to lead the entire ship, not among the ship’s crew at least.”
Now I really didn’t like the direction this conversation was taking, I was beginning to see where the conversation was going and the fight or flight instinct was beginning to take hold with the flight part of that being predominant.
“They need direction”, I repeated, my brain still spinning uselessly in place.
I asked, “Who can take on this role?”
Eri looked very uncomfortable as she simply replied, “You. Many of us have talked about this problem and we have come to the conclusion that you are the only one who can do this for us. We believe you are the only one who the entire crew will follow.”
“But”, I said, “I’m not a Federation Naval Officer, hell, I’m not even a Federation citizen. I don’t know anything about running a starship. I just can’t see this crew accepting me as their leader.”
Eri and Harlo looked at each other before Harlo replied, “Those are of course, valid concerns. We wouldn’t suggest it if we had any other options. Besides, you underestimate the effect you have on the people around you. Honestly, you need to trust us, when we tell you, they will follow you. We have already seen the way the Troopers and crew react to you. They trust you, more importantly, they believe in you.”
Eri paused to let this sink in then continued, “I don’t have the necessary medical supplies to help the injured officers in any kind of timely or meaningful manner. We need to get the people we have in stasis chambers back to civilisation within the next six months. There are limitations, the chambers simply won’t keep them viable much longer than that.”
I said, “You should have let me die on Earth. At least then you would have the supplies you used on me to help your officers.”
For the first time, I saw Eri become truly angry.
Icily she said, “Colin, don’t go there. We are alive and free today because of your actions. Whether you like to admit it or not, you made this ships officers aware of threats none of them could ever have imagined. You were the one who was instrumental in designing many of the tactics that allowed us to prevail against the pirates. You need to stop wallowing in self-pity and think things through clearly and rationally. Captain Carlon even thought very highly of you and he is a veteran warship commander and a hero among our people. All of us have felt your command presence, I can feel it now. You need to trust when we say we really do know what we are talking about on this subject.”
After she said her piece, I could see her visibly fighting to bring herself under control. I apologised to her, after all, what else could I do.
Harlo took over from Eri while she regained control of herself. “We know the risks you will face if you do as we ask”, he said.
I replied, “OK, you know the risks”. After a pause I asked, “Would you care to lay the risks on the table for me please?”
I continued, “Right now, I am at a complete loss, I really don’t understand enough to make any kind of informed decision.”
This time Kari answered me, “Colin, in the Federation’s eyes, under Federation law, when you take command of this ship, you will effectively be considered a pirate. We do not consider you messing up the running of the ship as a risk because if you do nothing we are already in serious trouble with the damage FNS Destiny has sustained up till now. It is hard to imagine anything that you could do to make things any worse than they already are. Besides, you will have people available to advise you and warn you if one of your decisions seems too dangerous.”
My response was to cover my face with my hands and just groan.
After a few moments, I said, “So, let me get this straight. You are asking me to effectively become a criminal within your society so we can get this ship back home, or at least your home. Is that what you are saying?”
I had to admire the tag team approach these three were using.
Harlo answered this time, “We know we are asking a lot, but we honestly don’t know what else we can do. No one else on this ship is capable of taking command of her. No one else has any chance of being accepted by the entire crew. Colin, this crew respects you, they look at you in awe, you are almost like a superman to them.”
This flattery was making me feel very uncomfortable so I decided to make a subtle change to the subject.
I asked, “OK, assuming I do as you are asking. What is the worst that can happen to me?”
Having finally bought her anger under control Eri once again answered, “If you are found guilty of piracy, you could be executed, but we honestly don’t think it is likely to come to that. We wouldn’t ask this of you if we could see any other option.”
In a squeaky voice I repeated, “Executed.” Then, after clearing my throat I asked in a more normal tone of voice, “If I refuse to take this on, what is likely to happen?”
Eri and Harlo both started to answer at the same time. They stopped and looked at each other for a second before Harlo nodded.
Eri answered, “Assuming we don’t fly into an asteroid or something else big enough to cause more damage to the ship beforehand, if we are not rescued within about five or six months, we will all die. This ship was nearing the end of her voyage, supplies are beginning to run low, fuel is low and she has sustained a significant amount of battle damage. We also lost some supplies and material when the hull was breached. We need the crew repairing the damage to the drives and maneuvering thrusters. They also need to be repairing the shields, at least, as far as they are able to. The crew needs direction to do this efficiently. They are trying to do what they can but they just don’t know the best way forward.”
So then I asked, “If we just wait here, what do you think is the likelihood of us being rescued?”
This time Harlo answered, “Being rescued by the Federation Navy, close to zero. I spoke to some of the navigation ratings, we are actually just inside pirate territory. The Federation Navy is unlikely to come here. We are far more likely, if we are found at all, to be
found by pirates. On top of that, we are on a ballistic trajectory moving in a direction where no one is likely to look. I’m sorry Colin, but you really are the only hope we have.”
I said, “You’re kidding right, you do know you’re asking too much of me.”
They all nodded and Eri replied, “We are well aware that we are asking too much of you. We just don’t see any other options. As I said earlier, I have tried to find a way of bringing one of our officers back but it just can’t be done, not quickly enough to make a difference to our fate. The skills and the supplies, not to mention the necessary equipment is just not available on-board FNS Destiny anymore. We lost too much when the outer hull was breached by the mines. Under normal circumstances, those losses would not have been a major issue, but right now, well it is not a good situation for us to be in.”
I groaned again, then stood before saying, “I have to go.”
After that, I turned towards the door, and walked out of the room. Nobody said anything to me as I left, nobody tried to stop me. I think they knew they’d pushed me as hard and as far as they could just then. They knew I needed to process everything they’d told me up till then. For my part, I really did need time to think. I had no idea what to do, or where to go, I felt trapped. Right then, it genuinely looked a lot to me like I only had a few more months to live at most. I cursed these damned Tangesha officers for the idiots I thought them to be right then, for putting all of us in our current predicament. Once again, it seemed to me they’d risked the lives of everyone on this ship for their own self-aggrandisement, or to stroke their own egos. I began to walk around all the parts of the ship I had access to, which was pretty much all of it, though I was limited only to the pressurised areas.
Star Man 1: Star Bourne Page 20
