by Amy DeMeritt
“Baby, I don’t think this is going to be a topless friendly pond. You may want to put that on.”
She nods towards the bikini top I’m holding in my hands and I laugh. I start putting it on and Hannah walks over to help me.
“I think I like this bikini even better than the chainmail one you wore for me last night.”
I’ve only been able to wear it a handful of times, but I love my bikini. It’s black with a combination of gray camouflage and fish scale patterns.
Hannah reaches around me, hooking the strap in the back for me and then around my neck. She kisses the side of my neck and then my lips. She runs her hands down my sides and over my hips as her eyes wander over my body.
“Damn, you look so good. Ok, we better go before I start taking that back off of you.”
The drive around to the other side of the pond takes about ten minutes. Then we have about an eighth mile walk through the woods from the parking lot before we get to the clubhouse and dock with the boats to rent. To the right of the clubhouse is a large “beach” area. They actually brought in sand and leveled out the area like a real ocean beach. There are lockers in the clubhouse to store our stuff, so we strip out of our over clothes and shoes and store our stuffed book bag.
The sand feels good underfoot. It’s fine and slightly warm even though the sun is still low in the sky. We take each other’s hands and dip our toes in the water to test it out. Both of us recoil and laugh. It’s very cool. Hannah slowly steps in completely with one foot and inhales with a giggle. Step by step, we slowly make our way out into the water till we’re up to our waist. We have goosebumps all over us and we’re slightly shivering.
A few kids are playing nearby with a ball and it lands close to us, splashing us in the chests and faces. We laugh, hold our breath, and at the same time, we dip below the surface to get completely wet. We both shoot up out of the water gasping from the cold.
After a while, our bodies get used to the temperature, and it’s actually really nice. We go out as far as the swimming area limits allow, but the pond is so shallow in this section that the water never goes above our chests. I’ve swam in a few ponds before, but never one like this. The swimming section has been bordered with nets to prevent any wildlife from swimming into the area, and they have filled in the bottom of this section with sand, so the bottom is easier to walk on and there is much less vegetation underfoot than is typical in a pond.
We swim around, embrace each other, steal kisses occasionally, and just talk and laugh. Not every woman looks good with wet hair. Depending on the color and thickness of the hair, as well as the shape of the face, some women look more masculine or almost bald when their hair is wet. Not Hannah. She has thick golden blonde hair with very light brown undertones and a very soft femininely shaped face. Being wet makes the browns in her hair stand out a little more, which makes her hair look like the top is glowing with a halo from the gold overtones. It’s beautiful. Her wet slicked back hair also does something to make her eyes glow brighter and her smile to shine more joyously.
As it gets later into the afternoon, the swimming area starts to fill up, so we decide to get out to rent a row boat. We towel off, put our shorts back on, and with two oars in hand, we head to the dock to pick our boat. I climb in the boat first and then help steady Hannah as she climbs in.
We unchain from the dock and then Hannah expertly uses an oar to paddle us out of the lineup of boats like she’s paddling a canoe. When we hit open water, she inserts the oars and starts rowing .
“You’ve done this before.” She grins and nods in a proud way. “Between the ages of twelve and fifteen, my parents sent me to a summer camp in Clear Springs Forest. Anything and everything to do with the water were my favorite activities. Here, come sit between my legs. I’ll show you how to do it.”
I smile and carefully stand to take my seat on the edge of the bench. Hannah hands me the oars and overlaps her hands on mine.
“Move your arms like this as you lean forward, then when you dip the paddle, hold your arms at this height. Use your upper body to pull the oars back, not your arms.”
We row for a while like this, me between her legs, hands over mine, and our bodies rocking forward and backwards.
“I feel like I’m living out every single lesbian’s dream.” Hannah laughs and kisses my neck. “Well, I live that out every minute I’m with you.”
“What else did you learn at camp?”
“Do you mean, what other quality lesbian traits did I learn? Well, I guess you could say I learned how to kiss at camp.” I laugh and lean into her. “I didn’t mean that, but tell me more about this ‘kissing at camp’ business.”
We have rowed a good distance, and are completely isolated from anyone else, so we stop rowing and I reclaim my seat on the other bench. While I was enjoying the closeness, sitting on two inches of hard wood did not feel good on my ass.
We sit and swap stories for a while. I listen to Hannah’s stories from camp, and I tell her about some of the photography gigs I had aside from the police work. It’s not till the sun is high in the sky that we decide to head back and get some lunch.
When we get to the parking lot to leave, I realize that Hannah said the camp went through age seventeen, but she stopped going at age fifteen.
“Why did you stop going to camp when you were fifteen? It sounds like you really loved it. ”
“Because I was banned from returning again.”
“Why? Did you trash a cabin or some other crazy prank?”
“Nope, I kissed a girl. It was a Christian camp and they had zero tolerance for that sort of thing. When my parents came to pick me up, the camp director told my parents and said I was not welcome to come back to camp and suggested they take me for psychiatric therapy.”
“Wow, they really said that?”
“Yeah. I wasn’t upset by the comment though because my parents knew about me and they didn’t care. Even though religion teaches it’s wrong, my dad disagrees. He preaches against homophobia and preaches that love, regardless of who you share it with, is the closest thing to godliness and perfection. He has a lot of enemies because of it, but he doesn’t let them bother him. What upset me is that I really liked going to camp. I had a lot of friends there, whereas I didn’t really have many at school. Plus, I got to do so many amazing things.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you. I love that your dad is so supportive of love and homosexuality. It’s not often that you have a religious leader speaking on our behalf.”
“He was like that even before I came out to them, so he didn’t just start preaching that because of me like a lot of people accused him of. He had been preaching love and gay rights since I was a toddler.”
“It makes me really happy that you had such a strong support system growing up.”
Hannah looks at me in a sad way, but just takes my hand and doesn’t say anything. I kiss her hand and back out of the parking space to head back to the house.
We haven’t talked much about my mom since she dropped the bombshell on me a few weeks ago that she doesn’t love me and never will. I haven’t talked to my mom at all either. I have considered sending her a text just to say hi, but I haven’t been able to get myself to do it. I saw a billboard for her real estate firm on the way back to work one day after meeting with a client and I broke down. I had to pull off into a parking lot because I was so upset and crying so hard I couldn’t see to drive. Even though my mother has never been the nurturing type, I still love her and still crave her attention. I hate that I need her and want her in my life, but I do and it hurts like hell.
When we get back to the room, Hannah takes the book bag from me and pulls me towards the bathroom with a mischievous grin on her face.
“Time to wash the pond off.”
Hannah stops up the tub, turns on the water, and pours a super foaming bubble bath into the faucet’s rushing waterfall. We quickly pull our clothes off and Hannah slips into the hot soapy water first, then p
ulls me down to sit in front of her between her legs. She wraps her arms around me, pulling me back to lay on her chest.
After a couple minutes, the bubbles look like they’re going to crest the top of the tub and spill over, so I reach forward and turn the faucet off. When I settle back into her embrace, Hannah gently paints my neck with her kisses.
“Brooke, have you ever…” She pauses for a few moments so I turn to look at her. “Have I ever, what?” She bites her bottom lip with a nervous smile. “Have you ever thought about having children?” I smile and feel a warmth burst in my chest. “Many times.” The nervousness vanishes from Hannah’s face and she smiles. “Ok, that’s good. You’re going to make an amazing mom.” I laugh and kiss her lips. “I’m going to marry you one day. Soon.”
The smile on Hannah’s face is so incredible it makes my heart leap and dance for joy in my chest. Tears come to her eyes and she pulls me into a heartwarming beautiful kiss. While we kiss, Hannah repositions me so I’m completely facing her. Our hands glide over each other’s soap slicked bodies and slip between each other’s legs at the same time. Hannah moans and releases my lips to look in my eyes.
“You really want to marry me?” I gasp from the electrical storm ignited in my body from her touch. “Yes, and I want to have children with you.” I press inside her and she moans again. “Brooke, I want that more than anything.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
I’m not even in my office a full minute before Felicia comes in with a big smile.
“Wow, you are glowing. And I don’t just mean that nice tan you got. I guess I don’t even need to ask you how your vacation was. I can see on your face that it was fucking amazing.” I laugh and nod. “It was heaven. I almost didn’t come back.”
“Well, I’m glad you are back. I missed you.”
“Oh, please, you probably hardly noticed I was gone with that sexy Latina to keep you distracted.” She laughs loudly and gives me a hug. “Well, you know I still need someone to fill the between hours when I don’t see her.”
“Oh, so that’s what I’ve become, filler? Damn, I thought I meant more than that to you.”
“Don’t give me that martyr shit; you know you are one of my best friends and that I love you.”
“I love you, too. So, anything I’ve missed?”
“No way, no work-talk till I hear about this hot vacation.”
I laugh and we sit down so I can tell her about the trip. I don’t go into great detail about everything, but tell her about the views, swimming and rowing at the pond, and the restaurants and shops we went to .
“Sounds like an amazing time. Mind if I steal your location one day to take my woman up there?” I smile and shake my head. “Not at all.”
After Felicia fills me in on what I missed and what appointments I have this week, she goes back out to her desk and I log into my computer to get started on playing catch up. I had given Felicia access to my email while I was out and I’m so grateful I did. My inbox has hardly anything left in it. The only things remaining are items that came in over the weekend or things she needs my final approval on. My mind is very much still on vacation, so having so few emails to worry about is a big blessing.
Hannah and I didn’t want to leave the bed and breakfast in Bridgeport, especially after discussing wanting to get married and have children together. The last couple days of the trip were so incredibly magical. We spent our mornings and afternoons exploring the most romantic spots around the house and pond, walked hand in hand through small antique and craft shops, went to a local artist gallery, and talked about everything possible. In the evenings, we held each other under the stars on one of the many benches or boulders around the house, on the balcony, or in bed. Of all of the books and movies I’ve seen with romantic scenes, none compare to a single moment with Hannah.
While we were there, I took hundreds of pictures to try to capture all of the beauty of the trip, not just of the scenery, but a ton of Hannah and I. It amazed me that I could find so many great places to set the camera with a timer so I could take pictures with Hannah and not just of Hannah. There was a dresser in our room at the perfect height that I could get a picture of us almost anywhere in the room. The deck rail of the large wrap around deck was at just the right height to take pictures of us sitting on one of the benches. And out in the giant open field, there was a tree next to one of the giant boulders that I could prop the camera in while we sat on the boulder. I could have brought a tripod, but I didn’t want to be burdened down with so much equipment.
Hannah and I were so reluctant to allow our vacation to end that we couldn’t even sleep apart last night. After we got back to my place, we unpacked, washed laundry, and then I repacked a bag and we stayed at her place last night. I have to leave an hour before her in the mornings. I had tried to get up and get ready without waking her so she could sleep in till her normal time, but she woke up with me and made us breakfast while I took my shower. It was really nice having breakfast with her and being seen off with a loving kiss before I left.
On the ride home from Bridgeport, we discussed moving in together soon. Hannah’s lease will be up for renewal at the end of the year, so she’ll need to make a decision soon if she’s going to renew, or move in with me. I thought it was cute that she was shy bringing up the subject, even though we had discussed, only two days prior, getting married and having kids one day. Living together seems like a logical and natural thing to do since we feel that level of love and commitment.
“Watching clouds without a single one in sight. Damn, you are deliriously in love.” I look down from the ceiling I didn’t realize I was staring at. Felicia is standing in front of my desk with a teasing grin on her face. “Come on, let’s go get coffee so I can see my woman.”
“Good idea. Maybe the coffee will help me focus better.”
“Or just fuel the bus to dream town.”
“That’s probably more likely.”
When we get to the coffee shop, Belinda pretty much squeals when she sees us. She comes out from behind the counter, quickly hugs Felicia and quietly says, “I’ll follow you out and give you a kiss. The boss is here today so I have to behave. ”
Then she pulls me in and squeezes me, shaking me from side to side. The unusual affectionate greeting from her makes me laugh. She pulls back holding my shoulders to look at my face.
In her thick Spanish accent, she says, “You got some nice color. You were too pale before. So, in one word, tell me about your trip.” I smile, and without hesitation, I say, “Heaven.” She smiles broadly and starts to walk back around the counter. “Good. Now, welcome back to the only sometimes heaven and sometimes hell. What can I get for you?”
It’s amazing they are able to behave with Belinda’s boss here and they don’t verbally flirt at all. Their eyes on the other hand, if they were talking, it would be very dirty. The two keep looking at each other like they are mentally ripping each other’s clothes off and other more explicit “things”.
When we get outside, they share a kiss much like the one Felicia had spontaneously given her a couple months ago. It still makes me blush to see and I always turn away. I’m not a prude by no definition of the word, but I feel like I’m intruding on something very personal if I watch.
Before she walks back inside, Belinda looks at me and says, “You look really good, Brooke. You have always been beautiful, but your happiness is making you fucking gorgeous.”
She glances at Felicia, who is giving her a jealous pouty look. Belinda smiles and kisses her lips. She whispers something in her ear that I can’t hear and Felicia’s face splits into a huge smile.
On our way back to the office, Felicia is still grinning ear-to-ear from whatever Belinda said to her. I know the feeling and I’m so happy to see Felicia experiencing that level of happiness. Like me, she hasn’t had the best luck in her previous relationships. Neither of us has ever been as happy as we are in our current relationships. What amazes me though about Felicia and Belinda is t
hat they’re both new to being with another woman, yet they seem like they are pros at dating women. They are better at it than many lifelong lesbians I have met. They’re not afraid to be seen committing PDA or being heard saying something affectionate or sexual to one another. They don’t seem to be fazed by the relationship politics that so many people in LGBT relationships get caught up in due to society’s definitions of relationships – such as, who’s the masculine and who’s the feminine? They’re just who they are and none of that matters to them. It’s nice to see my worries for them had been unnecessary.
When I get back to the office, I’m missing Hannah so badly from having to watch Felicia and Belinda in their happiness, so I decide to send her a text to see how her day is going. Like a silly school girl, I sit in my chair biting my bottom lip, staring at the screen, waiting for her response. After a few minutes, I pout, lock my phone, and turn my computer back on. She’s most likely with a client right now.
For the next twenty minutes, I work on emails while glancing at my phone every couple of minutes. When it finally vibrates with a new message, I basically pounce on it like a hungry lioness.
Hannah: Hey, baby. My day is going by way too slowly. I miss you and want to be in your arms. How is your day going?
Me: I feel like it’s the movie Groundhog Day , but instead of reliving the whole day, I’m only replaying the last hour over and over. The day just won’t end. I miss you too and can’t stop thinking about you.
Hannah: Is it super needy and high maintenance that I want to sleep with you tonight?
Me: Are you kidding? No way! I’ve already been day dreaming about that today .
Hannah: Good because I need your body next to mine and I like waking up with you. We can stay at your place this time if you want.
Me: Ok, that’s fine.
After talking for a little while longer, she has to get back to work, so I force myself to do the same. I look at my emails and have an overwhelming, “I don’t want to do this anymore”, feeling come over me. Hannah and I have worked on starting a photography website here and there, but we’re nowhere near finished with building it. Now that everything is perfect in my love life, I feel a strong desire to get back to my art. Of course, all of the pictures I took over the past few days didn’t help to quell my hunger for being a full-time photographer again either.
