My stomach sinks at what I've caused for him. "Oh. Why didn’t you say?"
He shifts in his seat and opens his laptop lid. "Because I don’t like to talk about this. I wasn’t allowed out anywhere. Couldn’t catch up with my friends."
"I’m sorry," I whisper.
"Why? This isn’t your fault."
"But it is."
"How? You can’t control your visions." Jamie rubs my arm. "I don’t blame you, so don’t blame yourself."
He busies himself opening files on his laptop and I watch, remembering the almost-kiss that happened last time. I care deeply about Jamie and hate how our connection could hurt him.
"I can control whoever will do this," I blurt. "I’ve decided I'll put all my energy into the mind-control side of my powers, until I’m confident I can use them. What’s the point in working on visions if I haven’t perfected the ability to stop people’s actions? That’s the most important, isn’t it?"
"I guess. But I’d rather have the ability to help myself. I’m pissed off that Tobias took the pendant." He focuses on opening his laptop but can’t hide the fear flicker in his eyes before he dips his head.
I’d tell Jamie not to worry and that he’s safe, but the words sound hollow with nothing to back them up. If I’m honest, part of me was relieved when Jamie found protection. Until I discovered how dangerous Blackwood magic can be.
I don’t need strong empath abilities to feel Jamie's distress, and I move to wrap my arms around him. "We’ll fix this."
"Can you pass me the blue incantations book?" he asks and points at a shelf behind me.
Dropping our conversation, I turn away.
His brows are still tugged deep when I return with the book.
"You and Ash, huh?" He asks as he takes the book from me. "You’ll be centre of academy attention."
"Don't say ‘me and Ash’." I sit opposite him at the desk. "We’re not exclusive. You guys tell me to fit in, and not everybody here is exclusive." I nudge him beneath the table with my toe to show I’m only half-serious.
Jamie arches a brow. "Interesting."
"But I won’t play people off against each other." I feel my cheeks heat. Why isn’t Jamie honest about what he thinks?
"I have a chance then?" he asks softly.
Does he? I’m confused. So bloody confused. How can people be happy to share someone? And then there’s the Andrei issue. We hide from each other, but can’t hide what exists between us forever.
I give a small smile. "You’re both special to me."
"Well, make sure you stop at two guys," he says with a light laugh. "Otherwise people will accuse you of being a lamia hybrid."
"Can we not have this conversation?" I whisper. "I’m not sure I could handle a relationship with one person, never mind two or three."
"Oh? And who would be the third?" The amusement grows.
A flash from my vision about Andrei jumps in. "Surely not Andrei?" asks Jamie, and his amusement drops away when I don't throw an immediate denial. "You do know about issues between vamps and witches, right?"
I nod.
"Plus, he’s a dickhead."
"That’s unfair. There’s more to Andrei than he shows us."
"Don’t get sucked in." Jamie scowls and looks at the book. "Like Ash is sucked in by Vincent. Wrong book, by the way."
I stare after Jamie as he stands and walks to the bookshelf at the far end of the room before climbing out of my chair to follow.
"Have you told Ash how you feel?" I ask as he pulls a different book from the shelf. "He’ll notice soon enough. I know you don’t believe Vincent is telling the truth."
His earnest eyes meet mine. "What do you think? Of course not—Ash would lose his shit with me. I’ll find proof first."
"Jamie, powerful witches have searched Vincent’s memories. Senior shifters have questioned him. His whole family believe this man is Vincent." I shake my head. "I never thought you’d agree with Tobias on something."
"But that’s the point. If Tobias is suspicious, and supposedly here to help protect the academy, that has to mean something."
I stare in disbelief. "You trust Tobias?"
"Not much. A little more since Theodora told me she does, but some of his motives are sketchy. Such as you—normal professors don’t behave towards you the way he did."
"I have the situation with Tobias under control," I say.
Jamie eyes me doubtfully. "Fine. But what about Vincent? Has Ash introduced you to him?"
"Not exactly." I look down at the desk.
"You sound annoyed."
"We, uh... bumped into him. Ash didn't introduce us."
"Huh." Jamie rests back in his chair. "Why not?"
I pull a face. "I'm a witch, Jamie. Ash is probably ashamed of me."
"Don't be ridiculous. Ash isn't prejudiced."
I fold my hands in my lap and hope Jamie can't see how much this has affected me. I haven't seen Ash since last night, although he did text me our usual good night as if nothing had happened. I didn't want to start arguing via text message—I need to tell him how I feel face to face. Ash might've been worried about being 'caught' with me and not thinking straight.
I need to not overthink.
But his actions still niggle.
"Explain to me what happened."
Shit. "It's umm… personal, Jamie."
His eyes widen. "Ohhh. Did Vincent catch you making out?" I squeeze my eyes closed. "Ash was probably embarrassed for other reasons, not that you're a witch. Nobody likes family members walking in on them."
"Walking in?"
Jamie's mouth twitches with amusement. "Amelia told me you snuck off with Ash."
"Wow, thanks, Amelia," I mutter. "It wasn't like that."
"Then why are you pink?"
I kick him under the table and he chuckles as he leans down and rubs his leg. "Don't stress. Ash is cool and thinks for himself."
"I hope so, Jamie."
"He does. I have faith. But I hope he introduces us to Vincent soon, because I want to suss this guy out." Jamie sighs. "We should talk about this later. All of this. Let's get the work done and leave."
Jamie places the book on the small table nearby, beside the black pillar candles reduced to stubs where wax has pooled around the base. Then I take both Jamie’s hands and force him to look at me.
"I'll also work on sharpening the vision I have about you."
"Sofia hasn't been much help so far, has she?" he mutters. "Nor was I when I tried to help you focus."
"But you have helped before. I want to try now. I want to see if being in the sanctum helps."
He tries to pull his hands away. "I don't think we should try without Sofia."
"Jamie." I take hold again. "I lost focus on this in the weeks leading up to Christmas, and I'm sorry. I want to see more. I need to focus on who else is there."
"You never saw anybody, Maeve."
"But they must be there if they hurt you." He tenses and I squeeze his hand tighter. "I could memorise faces. Sofia showed me pictures of Dominion members—if I immerse myself in the vision, I might recognise someone."
"I don’t know... What if your vision takes another step away from reality and you find yourself too immersed? You should wait for Sofia’s help."
Does the idea scare him more than me?
"This sounds strange, but I’m uncomfortable with Sofia teaching me. Especially now Theodora says everyone is under suspicions. We need to start banding together more." I pause. "Even Andrei. He’s in this with us."
Jamie rubs his lips together and smooths a thumb over my hand. "Maybe you’re right."
"Whatever I see will help us. Even a glimpse."
Last time we held hands is the night we danced together, both of us sensing more but holding back in confusion. Even in this tense situation, we still hold back. I lift my eyes to his.
His pupils dilate—the connection between us stronger than our magic. The attraction draws us like magnets and repels us when we
turn the wrong way. Is this the secret to my reaching full power? That we need to allow ourselves to attach?
I don’t have time to make that decision, because as I look into Jamie’s eyes, I’m transfixed. The subtle colour differences in his irises draw me in until the colours seem to swirl. I'm compelled to keep looking and I can no longer see myself in them.
Jamie's touch disappears and I look down at my empty hands. Jerking my head back up, I look to Jamie.
But he isn't there.
I’m alone in the silent sanctum surrounded by the scent of burned vellum. We didn't burn vellum.
No.
This burning is stronger than paper. Panicking, I turn three hundred and sixty degrees to check the whole room, steadying myself on the table as the wood-panelled room shakes.
Nothing looks any different—the secretive darkness, bookshelves crammed with books, and the old, scratched table that serves as a desk for performing magic.
Only the candles aren’t stumps—these are fresh with barely any wax dripping. I reach out to touch one and the warm wax solidifies on my fingertips.
A tremor runs through my body from my scalp to my toes as intense dread washes over me.
Something’s wrong.
Chapter Eleven
MAEVE
I lurch forward towards the door and pull on the ornate black handle. Usually the door opens easily, but this time there's tension as if somebody is pulling the door handle on the other side.
I focus harder on the door and drag on the handle until my arm hurts. Every sensation is real—the way the curved metal cuts into my hand, how my arms ache from pulling, and the strange odour mixed with the burning smell. The stench is gross, like rotten eggs and bins that haven’t been emptied in a week.
The door finally gives and I almost fall onto my backside as it opens. Righting myself, I step out and gag as the fumes grow.
The normally lit lanterns in the hewn stone hallway are dim, and I can barely see the stairs up to the library door. The opposite direction leads to the other rooms and the end of the hallway. A direction with no exit.
My chest constricts as my breath shortens—what might wait in the darkness? This fear propels me towards the darkened staircase. I place my hands on the wall to feel my route to the exit. The ground is warmer than the slate floor should be—the heat warming my feet through my shoes. Smoke tickles my nostrils and the smell dizzies me. Focus. Get out. Library.
"No. Maeve."
A voice yanks me to a halt, and I slowly turn as the ground tremors again.
Tobias appears from the shadow and smoke surrounds his ankle, winding its way upwards. His face is difficult to make out in the dim, but he has one hand cupping his cheek.
"What’s happening?" I choke out.
He’s Tobias, not Professor Whitlock. With hair falling across his forehead, dressed in casual clothes, he's the guy who looks at me as if I’m the equal he claims we aren’t. Tobias pulls his hand from his face, revealing a deep cut on his cheek. "Where are the others?"
"Who?" I ask. "I was with Jamie and—"
He blinks. "Jamie?"
Why is he saying that with doubt?
The sound below my feet grows, a humming as if a hundred beehives were beneath the stone.
"I don’t have much time, I need—"
A roar splits the air and the floor moves again. The movement isn’t in my mind; everything is real.
I stagger to the left and press myself into the wall as the floor crumbles beneath my feet.
Vision, Maeve. You're having a vision. I hold my temples and will myself to return to reality.
The world sharpens again but I’m watching from outside the scene. The burning smell has disappeared, as has Tobias.
Blue flames shoot upwards through the gap and spread into the hallway, circling around like a tornado of fire. The noise pounds at my head and I scream as the flames roll along the hallway, aiming straight for me.
"Maeve!"
My name again, but this voice isn’t Tobias’s. I open an eye, acutely aware that I’m back in reality, as the hard floor I’m sprawled on is cool. I see Jamie’s face. No, I see three Jamies, and I can hardly see or breathe and the pain in my head paralyses me.
Jamie kneels beside me, and I prop myself on my elbows but immediately fall down again as my weakened body refuses to co-operate.
"You had a vision. What did you see?" Jamie kneels over me, and I grasp at his hand as I sink forward in relief I'm with him again.
Jamie supports me as I sit and he helps me onto a chair. My head refuses to stop spinning, as if I’ve been on a kids' roundabout for too long.
"You look awful, Maeve. Worse than usual after a vision."
I nod, tears springing to my eyes. Jamie crouches in front of me and reaches in his bag for a bottle of water. Unscrewing the lid, he hands the bottle over to me.
I drink shakily as he places his hands on my knees, watching with concern.
"Do you want to talk about what you saw?"
I grip the bottle between my hands, feeling the plastic, tasting the water, grounding myself. "This was more than a vision, Jamie. I was there again. In the future."
Jamie’s mouth parts slightly. "Where were you?"
"In the hallway. I saw Tobias and—" I pull in a deep breath. "There was smoke and noise from beneath us. Then flames and..." I trail off and take a shuddery breath.
"Shit."
"I hate this," I groan, holding my clammy face in my hands.
"Maybe I cause these types of visions?" Jamie pulls on his bottom lip. "You were with me last time this happened. The day at the cottage."
I take another deep breath. "I don't know. But I need to control this. I'm pathetic, the way I pass out like a delicate Victorian lady every time I have a vision recently."
He bursts into laughter and I scowl. "Sorry, Maeve. It’s not funny how this affects you, but you can’t fight your body."
"Or my mind, apparently," I mumble.
He stands and pulls a chair to sit beside me. "There must be something under the school. The noise you described definitely isn’t water pipes. If something might happen at the school, at least we have an idea now. I’m going to research the whole history of the building and this area. There must be a record of something."
His pragmatic speech is exactly what I'd expect from him. Gain knowledge; take control.
"I need to speak to Tobias," I say and look to Jamie from beneath my hair. "He might know something."
"And so does Theodora."
"Agreed." I swallow more water and wipe my mouth. "I don’t want to stay down here. I don’t want to come here again."
"You’re not in any fit state to walk, Maeve." He steps forward in alarm as I stand.
My face crumples as he holds his arms out to me, and I allow him to hold me tight. Fighting tears, I grip him around the waist and push my cheek against his chest. Jamie’s heart beats slow and steady, and I focus on the sound as he strokes my hair.
"I’m sorry that you go through this," he whispers. "If I could, I’d take your place, any time."
"That’s sweet of you," I say in a thick voice.
"I hate to see people I care about in pain."
"Maybe we could hold each other together," I suggest. "I know how much you hurt too."
He smiles down at me. "Deal."
In the moment, the awareness this is a part of who we are strikes me. A chair in the library above scrapes the floor, and that is enough to send my heart rate sky high.
I'm serious when I say that I don't want to come down here again.
Chapter Twelve
MAEVE
Straight after my experience in the sanctum, Jamie takes me to see Theodora, but she isn't around. The lady who works in administration checked her diary and told us to return after classes. Sofia is teaching, too. Suits me, because I'd rather see them when I've recovered a little. Put things into perspective.
But even though I attend potions class, I’m distrac
ted as the scene plays over and over. We have a practical lesson today, creating potions we need to learn for end of year exams. I jerk as someone bangs a cupboard door closed behind me and spill the powdered wyrmroot from the dish I'm holding.
Ash places a hand on my knee. "Do you want to leave?" he whispers. "You don’t look good."
"Gee, thanks," I say and flick his nose.
He pushes hair from my face and studies me closely. "Honestly, Maeve. I think you need to rest. You’re hardly concentrating at all."
"Agreed. Let me be the one to screw up the potion," whispers Amelia.
I pull a face. "Stop putting yourself down, Amelia."
But Ash is right. Each time I move my head, the people around me spin in and out of focus. The clamminess won’t leave, neither will the nausea.
What if the vision returns or I pass out again?
"Maybe I should go to the infirmary," I whisper to my friends.
Ash is on his feet before I finish the sentence, his stool scraping violently across the tiles. "Professor, Maeve isn’t feeling well."
I groan. Thanks, Ash. My clamminess grows as every student in the room stares at me. Across the classroom, Andrei straightens and chews a nail as he watches with concern in his eyes.
"Don’t make a fuss, Ash," I whisper. "Please."
"Are you having visions again, Maeve?" asks Katherine loudly. "I hope it wasn't anything embarrassing."
"Not as embarrassing as the vision I had about you," I croak out.
Her mouth drops open. "When did you have a vision about me?"
"Did you?" asks Amelia in a hushed tone.
I unsteadily stand and Ash grabs my arm. "I’d like to take Maeve to the infirmary."
Professor Turlington nods but he’s more curious than concerned. "Of course."
"Maeve," demands Katherine. "What vision?"
Oh, there are so many scenarios I could give this girl to tease her, but the biggest tease of all is not replying to her question.
"Let’s go, Ash," I mumble.
He takes my bag and hauls it across his broad shoulders, before placing his hand on my lower back and guiding me from the room.
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