by Lola St. Vil
“Miku.”
CHAPTER NINE:
WHAT IF…
“Maybe it was a Peel!” I announce.
Rage rolls his eyes. We are standing outside my door where I’ve been trying to come up with a reasonable explanation for Miku’s actions. The “Peel” theory is theory number six.
I figure a Peel is my best guess so far; it’s a powder that allows you to change and look like someone else. A Demon had used it on my five-year-old neighbor, Ben. That would mean that it wasn’t really Miku, in Chicago, kissing another guy.
“Why would a Demon go to the trouble of making a Peel, just to kiss some guy? What’s the end game?” Rage asks.
“I don’t know,” I admit.
“I don’t think it’s a Peel,” Rage says.
“Well it has to be something. Miku loves Jay. She’s been trying to be with him for months now. Why would she throw that away?” I ask.
“I don’t know; but then again, I don’t why you chicks do most of the things you do.”
“Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it just looked like her,” I conclude.
“You humans are so good with the lying to yourself. Neat trick.”
“C’mon, Rage, help me. I have to make sense of it.”
“If you want to know why she did it, you have to confront her and see what she says.”
“I was hoping to avoid that; this is going to kill Jay,” I reply, leaning against the door.
“Jay is not altogether…unless. This will kind of suck for him, I guess.”
“Argh! I just don’t get it. How is it that the best and most solid couple on the team is you and Ameana?”
“To be honest, it surprises the hell out of us, too. She could have anyone and she chooses me and we’re having a son. Like, an actual child…” He says, lost in thought.
“Hey, how are you doing with the whole Sib thing?” I ask.
“I thought the Original assholes would have called Marcus by now…”
“They will. The important thing is they haven’t gone through with Wolf’s orders,” I remind him.
“The First Guardian isn’t going to let people get killed by Bryne and not do anything for long. My kid is not even born yet and I’m already failing him.”
“No, you’re not. It’s going to work out. I know it will, and I think you’ll be a great father.”
“Yeah, right,” he says, laughing.
“You will; I remember you with Mouse.”
The mention of the slain three year old causes him to flinch.
“Sorry,” I say, placing my hand on his shoulder.
“I know things are bad with you and Julian, but what could he have done, you know, to fix things with you two?”
“I needed him to do one thing; the thing he was never capable of doing,” I reply.
“What’s that?”
“Consider me. Think about how his actions would affect me. He’s always been too selfish to do that. It’s a shame he doesn’t get along with Marcus; they are damn near the same person,” I spit bitterly.
“Hey, you asked me about getting you a vial to, you know…take him out. That was just a joke right?” Rage asks.
I look into his eyes and smile sadly. I unlock my door and turn back to look at him.
“Good night, Rage.”
“Emmy, it was a joke, right?” he repeats.
“Yeah, of course. What kind of girl goes after her own father?”
I pull out the black leather bound book I talked Tony into giving me. It’s a Healer’s Muse; a journal containing a record of all the mixtures and vials in the Angel world.
When I found out that my father was the one that insisted on Bianca and Marcus, I wanted to hurt him. In order to do that, I needed to know what sort of vials and mixtures were out there.
I’ve been studying the Healer’s Muse for days now, and I’ve yet to find the right mixture to do what I want done to Julian. I thought my lust for revenge would go away, but it’s as strong as ever. Every event that has hurt me somehow started with my bastard of a father.
In the beginning I just wanted him to stay away. Then, when the Goumy showed up and the world was on the brink of ending, I went to him for comfort.
Then I find out he’s the reason why Marcus slept with another girl. What kind of father would do that? How can anyone be so cruel to someone they claim to love?
I try not to ask why Julian does what he does. There will never be an answer that satisfies me and, in the end, it doesn’t matter why Julian hurt me, or tried to keep Marcus and I apart. All that matters is that I am not going to let him get away with it anymore.
As much as I crave revenge for Julian’s actions, right now he’s not my focus. I scour the book to see if there is some kind of vial or mixture that could explain why Miku was kissing someone else. I look for another half hour and I find nothing useful.
Mrs. Charlotte looks up at me. I picked her up earlier this morning so we could spend some time together while Ben is away at school. Mrs. Charlotte is not happy with the way I have been neglecting her, but she seems to like Ben, so she isn’t completely pissed.
“Hey, how about a treat?” I ask her.
She meows as if to say she can’t be bought. I tell her it’s her favorite brand of treats and she wraps her tail around my foot.
“I knew that would get you,” I smile.
We head over to the kitchen where I pour her food into her bowl. As she starts to eat, I seek her council.
“So, what do you think? If Miku wasn’t taking some kind of mixture, why would she behave like that?”
Mrs. Charlotte moves her tail and looks up at me as if to say she has no idea.
“Well, we have to do something about this, I know they argue, but I think they really love each other, don’t you?”
She meows in agreement as I pour myself a glass of water.
“Maybe love doesn’t last, no matter who you are,” I confide to Mrs. Charlotte.
She meows repeatedly at me.
“I know what you’re thinking; that I’m fixated on Jay and Miku so I won’t have to think about Marcus, but you’re wrong.”
She meows again, as if to say I’m a liar.
“Okay, you’re right. I’m using this so I don’t have to think about him; about us. Look, it hurts too much okay? I can’t think of seeing life without him, but life with him is full of disappointment. So, where does that leave me?”
She looks up as if to say, like me, she has no idea what to do about Marcus. I pick Mrs. Charlotte up and look into her deep grey eyes.
“I never thought I would say this, Mrs. Charlotte, but for the first time since I met him, I regret that I love him. I really do…”
He’s late to meet me. I’m glad because I’m still not sure what I’m going to say to him.
When I texted him that we needed to meet, immediately he thought I was in danger, but I assured him that I was fine.
When he knocks on the door, I quickly open up and let him in. He gives me a big hug that almost lifts me up off the ground.
“Baby girl, what it do?” He asks, flashing a big smile.
“Hi, Jay!” I reply as I return his embrace.
I’m not meeting Jay to tell him what happened at the club. I would never do that without talking to Miku first, but I thought if I spoke to Jay, maybe I would find out something about the couple that would somehow explain what I saw.
Could Miku and Jay have an open relationship? Did they decide to quietly break up and not tell us? Or could Redd be back and somehow be making her do things?
When he lets me go, he studies me, no doubt looking for tear stains. Well, he won’t find any. I’m determined to stay strong, no matter what is going on with Marcus and me. Jay already looks worried. He probably thinks I need consoling after what happened with Marcus.
“You’re late,” I say, pretending to scold him.
“Yeah, baby girl, this Port I have sucks. It’s slow as hell,” he replies.
“It’s ok
ay. I’m just glad to see you. It’s only been a few hours and I feel like it’s been forever,” I reply, looking into his soft welcoming eyes.
“Yeah, I feel you. Look, I’m sorry about you and the First Guardian,” Jay says.
“First Guardian? Wow, so I take it you two have not made up yet?” I ask.
“I’m gonna keep it one hundred with you; we may never be cool again.”
“I really don’t want that to happen, Jay, he loves you. You guys can’t let this thing with Arden end your friendship.”
“Emmy you know if it were you, Marcus would never have stayed away from the mission. How is that fair?”
“How is it fair to let Ameana’s son die?” I ask.
We look at each other and neither of us is about to back down. This isn’t what I wanted our visit to be about and the last thing I want is to fight with Jay.
“I didn’t ask you over here to talk about you and Marcus. I asked you here for another reason,” I say to him.
“Yeah, I know. You asked me here so we could talk about you and Marcus. Look, he’s miserable without you. You know that. He’s falling apart, but he’s stubborn and if he thinks you are better off without him…”
“No, this isn’t about me and Marcus—wait, he’s miserable?”
“Yeah, he can’t Recharge, he can’t stay still, he keeps trying not to walk past your room…”
“Good, because this is all his damn fault. How many times is he going to hurt me in the name of ‘protecting me,’ and how dare he—”
Emmy, focus!
I catch myself just as I’m about to totally lose it. I bite my lower lip so I stop talking. I sigh and look up at the ceiling. I close my eyes and try to refocus. Jay looks on, curious and alarmed.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him.
“It’s cool if you need to vent.”
“I didn’t ask you here to talk about Marcus, or to vent. I asked you here because I wanted to…check on you and Miku.”
“What about us?” Jay asks.
“How are you guys? I mean, you two haven’t been together long and well…you guys are fighting a lot.”
“Yo, you good people. I appreciate how you look out for us.”
“I have to, I love you guys. So, how are you two doing?” I ask carefully.
“We good. I mean yeah, we argue and everything, but at the end of the day shorty got my back. It’s all love,” he replies.
Maybe not all love…
“So…you guys are together and happy?” I ask.
“Like I said, we argue, for sure, but when it’s done, we get back to ‘us’. She be heated if she thinks I smiled at some girl. I get heated when she acts jealous for no reason. We go twelve rounds, and then when we calm down, we talk. That’s what I like about it.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“When we scream at each other and stuff, it makes me crazy. Then after a few hours or so, we let it go. One of us always reaches out and tries to make it better. I go over to shorty and I’m like, ‘Yo, my bad. I wasn’t trying to disrespect you,’ or she’ll come to me and be like, ‘Okay, I shouldn’t have screamed like that…’”
“To be honest, I’m surprised you’re taking so well to having just one girl. Some guys try that open relationship thing instead,” I respond, hoping to get a clearer picture of the couple.
“Miku would kill me if I came to her with that, and besides, shorty is crazy, but I love her. And I would never share with another guy; trust.”
“Got it,” I reply as dread fills my stomach.
I try and find yet another reason to doubt what I saw at the club.
“How is she doing with Rio’s death? I read sometimes grief makes people do crazy things.”
“She has good moments and not so good moments ya know?” Jay replies.
“First hand,” I sigh.
“There are times when she gets really quiet and sad. It’s like she escapes into her own world. In fact, sometimes she just leaves.”
“What you mean, she leaves? Where does she go?” I push.
“She likes to fly alone, sometimes. I ask if she wants company, she always says no, but I get it. It’s like when Marcus goes to the Green Mountains; sometimes you need a break.”
“Yeah, I guess. Hey, if something was really wrong, I mean something bad like Redd coming back, is there some kind of sign we should be looking for?” I ask.
“No, I don’t think so. Redd only comes when there’s a death or some kind of horrific soul shattering type of event.”
“So Redd can’t just ‘pop up’ and take over?”
“Emmy, what is going on? Why are asking me all this?”
“Nothing I just…I want to make sure she’s okay. Rio’s death hurt her so bad; I wondered if maybe she was acting out in some way?”
“No, not to me. Why? Have you seen her do something crazy?”
“Well…no. I was just, making sure,” I lie.
“You’re right about grief, though. It can make you do ridiculous things. When we lost Reese…my thoughts were straight crazy. I wanted go to Difi and get him, take on every Demon all at once…destroy everything around me…” Jay confides.
“I miss both of them, Reese and Rio, but there’s something about knowing that Reese is gone that just makes me feel empty.”
“Yo, can I ask you something?” He says.
“Sure.”
“If Reese was alive, would you be with him instead of Marcus?”
The question completely blindsided me. I open my mouth, but no words come out. Jay studies my shocked expression.
“You knew Reese liked me?”
“Yo, he was my boy. There’s nothing he didn’t tell me. He talked about you all the time, like 24/7. The places he wanted to take you, the things he wanted you to see, and he wrote you a bunch of letters.”
“What letters?” I ask.
“He burned them, after he saw the Splash with the picture of you kissing Marcus.”
“Oh,” I reply as my heart sinks.
It would have been nice to have something of Reese to keep with me. I tap into one of my favorite moments with him: we were together in this very apartment over a year ago. I didn’t know it then, but Reese would die hours later…
“I’m gonna babysit my neighbor’s son, Ben. Nothing’s gonna happen to me.” I assuredhim.
“No, I can’t leave you alone,” Reese insisted.
“Marcus won’t care. He’s too busy with Ameana,” I said.
“Now that was a whole 10 seconds.”
“What?”
“You didn’t mention his name for ten seconds. That was kind of nice.” Reese replied.
“What does that mean?”
“That means there are other guys in the world and they deserve a chance with you.”
He moved in close and kissed me, parting my lips with his tongue. His kiss was tender,but firm. It was so unexpected I couldn’t even think. A few seconds passed, but it seemedlike our kiss was in slow motion.
He pulled away when he was done. My mouth was still open from shock. Reese kissed me.
I didn’t really know what to do with that. He was Reese, my friend, but that kiss wasnice…
“Earth to baby girl?” Jay calls out, pulling me out of my flash back.
“Huh? Oh, sorry. I was just thinking…”
“About Reese?”
“Yeah. Why didn’t he tell me how he felt sooner?” I ask.
“He had been trying to work up the courage since he first met you.”
“Jay, Reese kissed me,” I confess quietly.
“Then he was happy when he died because that’s all he ever talked about.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. So, tell me: if Reese were still here, would you be with him or Marcus?”
“He’s the one I should have wanted,” I reply, looking off into the distance.
“Not to be like that, but you didn’t really answer the question; if Reese were alive today, would you pick h
im or Marcus?”
“Well, he’s not alive, okay. He’s gone and this is a stupid conversation,” I snap.
Jay looks at me, but doesn’t speak. It hurts him to hear the words out loud. Yes, of course he knows his best friend is dead, but that doesn’t make it any easier to hear.
“Jay, I’m sorry.”
“It’s cool,” he lies.
The room is now filled with tension and unspoken questions. What would my life be like if Reese was still in it? Would Reese have married Bianca? Would he have sent me away from the villa, away from the mission, like Marcus did? Would Reese have made the choices that Marcus made?
“Yo, I should get back to house and see if there’s been any changes with the Paras,” Jay says, heading to the door.
I follow him out to the hallway. He says goodbye and starts to head down the stairs; I feel like I owe him something. I mean, I am hiding the fact that Miku is cheating on him. If I can’t tell him the truth about that, then I can at least answer his question.
“Jay,” I call out.
He turns around to face me.
“Yeah?”
“The answer is ‘no’, I would not choose Reese over Marcus.”
“You know what, I get that.”
“Really?” I ask dubiously.
“Yeah, I mean it’s like with me and Miku. The truth is, no matter how crazy things get between us, she my heart. I mean no matter what what’s going down, when shorty is by me; everything is better. When things settle down, I’m gonna give her my Rah.”
Damn…
CHAPTER TEN:
ROUND ONE
I try to do exactly as Marcus asked of me. I leave him and his team alone. It hurts like crazy and time just won’t pass. The hours feel more like days and every moment I’m away from him is draining, but I will not be where I’m not wanted, for whatever reason.
I am determined to think about something other than Marcus. The only other thing in my head is Miku and Jay. Unfortunately, I haven’t figured out how to approach Miku. If she thinks I’m judging her, she won’t open up to me, but at the same time, I have to stand up for Jay. Okay, I’ll admit it; I have no idea what to do about those two.
