by Meghan Sloan
You really don’t know how to think things through without being a selfish bastard, do you?
“I have to admit,” Allen said as he picked up his candle, “that there are some days when I don’t like you very much, Mr. Gabriel. And I don’t say that often.” He turned towards the door. “I think I should retire now. It’s best that you decide this on your own without playing on someone’s emotions.”
The door closed behind him, leaving Gabriel alone and feeling like he was the worst person in the world.
Chapter 6
Cassandra woke after a restless night, tossing and turning in her bed until the sun came up. She woke up cross and fed up, wishing she could spend the day sleeping. But Cassandra knew if she was left with her own thoughts, it would mean thinking about Gabriel Tattershall.
She should not even be thinking about him. He was a rake, even if he claimed to have changed his ways. From the way he had been looking at her, clearly flirting, Cassandra highly doubted that he had changed. He was up to something, and she must be a part of whatever plan he was concocting. She would do well to stay away from him.
But no matter how many times she told herself that it was a good idea to stop and push the man out of her mind, Cassandra found herself wondering about him again. Especially with those sexual positions. With his reputation, he would know all about positions. Her body had heated up to the point of being uncomfortable as her head was filled with thoughts of Gabriel naked in her bed, touching her all over while showing her these various positions.
Why did she have to say that? She hadn’t thought that through at all. If it had been anyone else, they might have blushed and spluttered their way out of it. Not Gabriel. He was far too in control.
Except for when he touched her, right when they bumped into each other. He had stared at her like she had come down from the heavens. The look of appreciation had been one that made Cassandra feel a warm shiver down her back. And she could still remember the feel of his body against hers. Solid muscle, very hard all over.
All over.
Stop it!
Cassandra washed and dressed before she ate her breakfast quickly, trying to avoid conversation with her father and her aunt. Both of them were going to notice her discomfort and question her on it. Cassandra didn’t want to answer any questions - mostly because she didn’t really know the answers herself. And she knew they would figure out from her red face what she had been thinking.
Not the sort of conversation she wanted with her family. But there was someone she could discuss this with. The one person who would keep her secrets without any fear that they would be shared with anyone else.
After breakfast, Cassandra headed out with her personal maid Laura. Alice said she was still feeling worn out and wanted to rest, so Cassandra brought her maid instead as a chaperone. Otherwise she would be arguing with her father all morning about going out alone. Ernest let her have a few freedoms, but going out alone was not one of them.
And considering where she was heading to, it was for the best that she had someone with her.
After a short carriage ride across town, Cassandra ended up at Barrington’s public house. She and Laura alighted and went inside. It wasn’t that busy considering the time of day, so Cassandra was able to find Emily easily. Her friend was behind the bar cleaning glasses. Cassandra grinned as she leaned on the counter.
“You look like death.”
Emily rolled her eyes.
“I love you too, Cassie. You would look like death if you’d been up most of the night dealing with unruly men.”
“Well, if your father will run a public house…”
“At least we get some custom in.” Her best friend put the glass down and grinned at Cassandra. “Have you had breakfast yet? I haven’t, and I’m starving.”
“I thought you would never ask.”
#
Every other morning, Cassandra would make her way across Ipswich to meet Emily and go to have breakfast at their favourite place. There was a little cafe on Crown Street that catered to people coming into town from their country homes to work or those finishing the night shift and who wanted something to eat.
The proprietor, Mrs. Redfield, had made it hers many years ago and it was increasingly popular. She and her three daughters were marvellous cooks, and Cassandra was always excited about going to her favourite eatery every other morning.
She was especially looking forward to this morning. She needed something to distract her. It had been difficult to sleep and if she had a full belly, maybe that would lull her into a doze when Cassandra got home. Trying to function on little sleep was not easy, and nobody would notice or mind if she went back to bed for a while later.
Cassandra and Emily arrived at the cafe just as a table was opening up by the window. Mrs. Redfield’s daughter, Matilda, got them seated and took their usual order, heading off towards the kitchen. Cassandra took off her bonnet and placed it on the table, slipping off her gloves. At least nobody in Mrs. Redfield’s cafe minded if they didn’t wear gloves while eating.
“Have you heard the latest about this ball at Sir Walter and Lady Kennedy’s house later this week?” she asked.
“Unfortunately,” Emily wrinkled her nose. “Mother and Father are very excited about me going to Needham Market. I wish I wasn’t.”
Cassandra couldn’t agree more. She didn’t think there was anything wrong with Needham Market, but there was everything wrong with Sir Walter Kennedy and his family. They were snobs, to put it plainly. They thought they were better than their simple standing and liked to look down their noses at people. Cassandra had no idea why her father even tolerated the man, but Sir Walter was a client at Seton Hall and Ernest felt that he couldn’t turn such an invitation down.
He wouldn’t be going himself, urging his daughter to go instead. Cassandra didn’t want to go, but she didn’t want to disappoint her father. At least she had been allowed to bring someone along as a chaperone; hence why Emily was coming with her as Aunt Alice was going to be visiting her friend in Otley for the evening.
There was no chance of going to this ball on her own.
“I don’t think it’s a good way to spend our time,” Cassandra declared as she poured out two glasses of water. “We would do much more interesting things here.”
“Agreed, but it’s not up to us, is it?” Emily picked up her glass and took a sip. “Our parents want us to get integrated into society as best as we can. That means getting to know people of nobility, showing our faces and finding respectable husbands. Our job is to dress up in pretty clothes and smile with no indication that we have minds of our own.”
Cassandra laughed. Not everyone in society was bad, but she did understand. And it was well-known that women were supposed to be sweet and docile, doing whatever the males said. Cassandra didn’t believe in that. And nobody seemed to mind when she was at Seton Hall. But that seemed to be a completely different world; stepping out into the real world meant having to change how she behaved. Keeping her opinions to herself in social settings hadn’t worked well for her in the past.
“I seem to find those who don’t want a woman to talk at all, just nod in the right place.” She shook her head, “I’ve been called a liar various times, as if I’ve lied to them about having a tongue in my head once I’m pushed into a reaction.”
“How can you be considered a liar for not disclosing the fact that you can actually have an opinion?”
“You know what a lot of men with titles are like, Emily. They just prefer their prospective wives to just sit there and look like they’re agreeing with everything the man is saying.”
Emily snorted and wrinkled her nose.
“Some men need to be more than...whatever it is they have. I know I drive my father mad with my opinions, but he puts up with me because he loves me. I’d like to think if I ever decide to get married that my husband will love me for me, and not for the facade I have to put on every time he walks in the room.”
Cassa
ndra couldn’t agree more. She had no desire to get married, mostly because the men she had courted seemed to think once they had been in her company more than three times they could dictate to her how she should act and what she could and couldn’t do.
Pretty much all of them told her that she should leave the gambling hall to her father and the business to the men. Cassandra had simply told them if they didn’t like who the real Cassandra Seton was, they could leave. All of them left, and Cassandra was left angry and bitter that people loved an idea and not the real thing.
Cassandra was not going to become an ideal wife to fit what a man wanted. If she ever did marry it would be because her future husband loved her for her and not for what he could turn her into. Ernest understood that, so when he did drop hints every so often about a marriage, Cassandra always reminded him of her decision. He respected her for the most part, but when he didn’t, Cassandra felt like screaming.
Matilda Redfield came out shortly with their breakfast meals, which she put on their table. Then she headed off to greet two men in suits who had just walked in the door. Cassandra picked up her knife and fork and began to eat. She glanced up at Emily who was also tucking in, trying not to look unladylike as she ate.
Should she ask about Gabriel? Emily worked in the public house, so she would know a lot of gossip. And there wasn’t really anyone else Cassandra could ask without it going around Ipswich. Emily could keep things to herself; she was loyal to her friends and knew when to keep a secret.
“Emily,” Cassandra started, “what do you know about Gabriel Tattershall?”
Emily stopped. She stared at her.
“Gabriel Tattershall? Why do you want to know?”
“Just humour me.”
Emily frowned. But she answered, going back to eating and talking between mouthfuls.
“He’s the eldest son of Viscount Tattershall. They live in a nice place in Brandeston. And Gabriel…” Emily paused. “He was wild. He gambled his allowance away and flirted with a lot of women. Although flirt would be an understated term for what he’s done.”
“You mean he’s a rake.”
That had Cassandra’s suspicions confirmed. There had been something about Gabriel that said he knew how to behave towards women and loved to use his charm. Why did she feel annoyed knowing that Gabriel was a rake?
“Everyone knows he is. I’m surprised you didn’t know.”
“I don’t listen to gossip.”
Emily arched an eyebrow.
“You’re probably the only person I know who doesn’t listen to gossip.”
“I prefer facts, not word-of-mouth.”
Emily grunted. She reached for her water.
“Anyway, Gabriel’s father got fed up with having to pay off his son’s debts with his creditors and went to confront his son. Either he got himself together and grew up or he wasn’t going tohave anything.” Emily’s eyes glinted, “Viscount Tattershall walked in on his son in bed with a woman. Miss Jessica Gibson. Apparently, it was more than a bit obvious what they were up to.”
“Emily!” Cassandra groaned and held up a hand. “I didn’t ask for what specific position they were in. I just want to know what you know. And would you keep your voice down? People can hear us.”
“You’re the one who asked about Gabriel Tattershall.”
Cassandra flinched and looked around. It was busy in the cafe, but people were focused on eating their food and not on other people’s conversations. Even so, Cassandra was beginning to wish she had asked Emily when they were alone. Rumours in Ipswich could spread really fast, and Cassandra had no intention of being in the middle of one.
“Because your father and Viscount Tattershall are friends from childhood and he hears everything. I wasn’t asking about that!”
“Well, that’s what I’ve heard.” Emily grinned and leaned forward, clearly eager to divulge this piece of knowledge, “From what I heard Father telling Mother, Viscount Tattershall was so mad at his son’s blatant disrespect for his family name and home that he threw Gabriel out of the house. The only saving grace he would give him was to let Gabriel keep his valet and they could live in a cottage on the estate, but with a set amount of money and as far away from them as possible. He wasn’t allowed to go back into the house except to gather his belongings.”
Cassandra stared. She claimed not to listen to gossip, but it was difficult to keep away from when it was almost what everyone talked about, even the gentlemen in society. They were even worse than the ladies who started spreading the rumours. Even so, Cassandra did her best to ignore what was being told to her, choosing to form her own opinions. She had heard about the estrangement but hadn’t heard the extent of it, beyond that Gabriel was appalling with money. Gambling was his drug, and he couldn’t stop.
He had some self-control, as he had been in Seton Hall and didn’t touch the cards at all. He just had one drink and then left. Cassandra had found herself sneaking glances at him when she was meant to be doing something else.
She shouldn’t have done it, but she hadn’t been able to stop. Gabriel was just...incredible to look at. It was no wonder women found him attractive, especially with that smooth deep timbre in his voice. That still sent shivers down Cassandra’s back, even now.
Stop and take a deep breath. He’s a rake who could have a woman in his bed with just a click of his fingers. Not the type you should be associating with at all.
“Why are you asking about him, anyway?” Emily asked. “Couldn’t you have got this from your own contacts?”
“My contacts are not you,” Cassandra hesitated, “I...I met him.”
Emily blinked. Her eyes widened.
“You met him? When?”
“Last night. He came to Seton Hall. I think…” Cassandra frowned, “I think he was attempting to flirt with me.”
“Oh, really?” Emily giggled. “I would love to have seen that. I presume you told him where to go.”
“Not in so many words.”
She could have done. Cassandra had put men more handsome and charismatic than Gabriel Tattershall in their place, but with Gabriel it was something else. She didn’t know why it was different, and that unnerved her.
“Ah.” Understanding dawned in Emily’s expression. “Now I get what you’re saying.”
“Do you?”
“Yes. You found him attractive.” Emily giggled, “You and everyone else he’s come across.”
“What?” Cassandra wished she could deny it, but knew that her cheeks were getting warm. They would give her away. “I was just curious. It’s a shame he couldn’t be such a decent man with those looks as well.”
“I’m sure he’s a decent person. Just not with beautiful women.” Emily’s giggle faded and she frowned. “You’d better be careful with him, Cassie. From what I hear, whenever Gabriel Tattershall is around he’s up to something. He didn’t get to where he is just by being a pretty face.”
“Apart from getting disowned, you mean.”
“Aside from that.” Emily speared a piece of egg with her fork. “You’ll see. He’ll be up to something. That mind of his is sharp. Just be careful if you come into contact with him again.”
“I plan to be.” Cassandra lifted her chin, “I’m always careful.”
For the most part, but Cassandra had a feeling that she would be handling Gabriel Tattershall with soft gloves. She wouldn’t be able to relax with him around, not if he made her feel like she was housing butterflies in her belly. That was enough to tell her that Gabriel was going to be trouble.
