by Atlas, Lilly
How old are you?
You got a man?
The only person to keep their trap shut was Thunder who watched her with assessing eyes and rapt attention.
If they didn’t back off the poor kid was likely to start crying.
Instead of answering one of the many questions, she stammered and shook her head. “I…uh…”
Cassie hopped up. “Makenna, I’m on my way out. Wanna walk with me?”
“Yes!” Makenna shouted with much more enthusiasm than the situation called for. “Uh, nice to meet you all,” she said in a rush as she speed walked toward the door.
“Mama V, I’ll call you this evening to talk details,” Shell yelled as Cassie followed Makenna. “Nice to meet you, Makenna. Congrats on the job!”
Without turning around, Makenna raised a hand and pushed the door open.
“Bye guys,” Cassie yelled as she hurried after Makenna.
Once outside, she moved to the young woman. “Sorry about them in there. Sometimes they don’t know how to act in polite company.”
“No, it’s all right. They seem great.” Makenna toed a divot in the asphalt while staring down at her foot. “Thank you, Cassie. Not sure why you decided to help me, but I really appreciate it. We—um, I…well, just thank you.”
“I’m so happy to have been able to help. And congrats on the job.” Though sweet and willing to talk, Makenna’s rigid posture and unwillingness to make eye contact gave off the vibe that she couldn’t wait to split. Might as well give the poor girl an out. “I need to run, but you still have my number, right?”
Makenna nodded.
“Great. Use it. I know what it’s like to be the new girl in town.”
The young woman’s head popped up. “Oh, uh…” She shifted as though uncomfortable. Was this woman so unaccustomed to having someone she could count on for help? Someone in her corner?
“For anything. I mean it, Makenna.” Cassie reached out and squeezed her hand. The woman flinched like she’d been stung by a bee. “Especially if you need someone to watch that little cutie you had in the store with you.”
“I will, thank you. And, uh, you can call me Mak.”
Satisfied for the moment, Cassie squeezed her hand once again. She and the gang had bombarded the girl enough for one day. Time to give her a little space and a chance to process the changes in her life. Hopefully the greatest of which would end up being a strong group of female friends. “Have a good afternoon, Mak.”
When Cassie reached her car, she paused before climbing in. Today she felt lighter than she had in a while. Maybe it came from knowing she wouldn’t be living all alone in a too big house for much longer. Maybe it was helping Mak. She’d always loved mothering her chicks, especially the women of the club. Viper indulged her constant desire to feed the members and their families as well as her frequent worrying over everyone’s wellbeing. What could she say? She was a nurturer at heart, happiest when loving on her people.
Maybe the bright feeling came simply from the warmth of the sun, heating her skin. Early spring always brought with it a sense of renewal and promise. Cassie tipped her head back and inhaled the fresh mountain air. When her lungs filled to capacity, she froze and whipped her head from right to left.
What the hell?
If someone had offered her a million dollars, she’d swear up, down, and backward the scent of Irish Spring soap lingered in the air. Viper had used the basic bar soap his entire life no matter how many times she’d teased him or how hard she tried to get him to switch to something else. Never had she bothered to tell him how much the familiar scent comforted her, but Viper was no dummy. The man probably knew just how often she smelled his towels after he dried off from a shower. Or how frequently she inhaled his scent when he wrapped those strong arms around her. She’d bet cold hard cash he only used the soap because she associated the scent with him.
Odd she would sense it now. Over the past two weeks she’d learned the power of the human mind. Especially one suffering with heavy grief.
There was always a different option. One she was almost afraid to believe.
Viper was there with her, watching over her, loving her.
The thought of this was so precious, she’d feel like she was losing him all over again if she gave into it only to find a logical reason for the sensation. But as Cassie climbed into her car with a renewed sense of hope and something to look forward to thanks to Shell and Copper, she swore the breeze blew whispered words across the mountains.
I loved you yesterday, I love you today, and I’ll love you tomorrow whether you’re here with me or waiting on me among the stars.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
PRESENT DAY - TENNESSEE - 2 WEEKS LATER
“Well that’s the last of it,” Jazz said as she stood in the open entrance to Cassie’s house. “I sent my guys on ahead, so I’ll ride with you, if that’s okay?”
“Yeah, that’s perfect.” Cassie smiled at her friend who looked absolutely adorable in camo leggings, and a fitted black Hell’s Handlers tank top. A red bandana topped off the look, wrapped around her short hair like a headband. Not long ago, Jazz wouldn’t have been caught dead showing off her arms, thanks to the multiple scars inflicted by her stepbrother in a psychotic fit of rage.
Though she’d probably still wear long sleeves out in public, it was wonderful to see this woman feeling comfortable in her own skin and confident enough to reveal her scars to her family. Much of that newfound confidence could be attributed to Jazmine’s two men and their constant assurance of just how gorgeous and desirable they found her. Scars and all.
Cassie spared a glance at her own outfit, an old, beat-up T-shirt of Viper’s, her most comfortable and well broken in jeans, and a healthy layer of dust and grime. Her days of looking like a cute twenty-something even when sweaty and filthy were long gone. She didn’t even mourn the loss of those years anymore; it’d just been that long.
She was good with her nearing-sixty self. Though she wouldn’t turn her nose up at a shower.
Moving was nasty work. Even if the men did most—okay all—of the heavy lifting.
“I just did a walk through and I think we got everything.”
“Great.” Jazz pushed away from the door with a wince. “Oh, please tell me you’re as tired as I am and I’m not just as out of shape as it seems.”
Chuckling, Cassie walked toward her friend and threw an arm around her shoulders. “I’m exhausted. My aches have aches.”
Jazz wrapped her arms around Cassie and gave a gentle squeeze. Everyone was overly careful with her these days due to the weight she’d lost and how frail she looked, but they managed to pull it off without being overtly obvious. The subtly was greatly appreciated. No one wanted to be reminded of their physical decline again and again. “Well, I don’t want you to hurt, but I’m glad it’s not just me. Screw laughed his ass off when I told him I was sore.” She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Not all of us bathe in protein powder and eat dumbbells for breakfast while bench-pressing elephants.”
“Um, have you ever worked out?” Cassie asked, as she guided Jazz outside. “Because it sounds like you’re not sure exactly what it means.”
Their gazes connected and both women burst out laughing. Together, as though they’d planned the move, they turned when halfway down the driveway and gazed at the house Cassie had called home for decades.
The place wasn’t under contract yet, but there were a few seriously interested buyers, so most likely it’d be sold within the week. At least according to her realtor.
A heaviness settled in her heart, dragging it down to the pit of her stomach. Beside her, Jazz kept her arm around Cassie’s waist.
“You holding up?” she asked, resting her head on Cassie’s shoulder.
“I’m—”
Sad.
Scared.
Exhausted.
Nervous.
Heartbroken.
“I’m okay,” she said, taking in the gray-blue shutters Viper
had repainted this past fall before the temperature dropped too low. They looked so nice against the almond color siding, giving the house a picturesque appearance. She’d loved planting and maintaining the bushes and flowers that decorated the front of the home. Both of them had taken pride in the appearance of their home, completing many repairs and design changes themselves. Oh, how she’d loved working as a team to turn their house into a home. Into a place where she’d cooked for so many of their club family members. Into a place she’d comforted crying ol’ ladies, welcomed and watched their children, and spent dozens of happy holidays.
Mostly, she’d loved sharing the space, sharing her life with Viper.
“You sure about that?” Jazz asked without shifting her attention from the house. “I imagine you’re feeling a whole crapload of heavy emotions right now.” She lifted her head and met Cassie’s gaze with a somber expression. “I hope you know you can talk to me as I’ve talked to you. I may not be nearly as wise, kind, or intelligent, but, Cassie, you’re one of my favorite people and I’d do anything to help you through this trying time.”
“Oh, Jazzy,” Cassie said as her eyes flooded. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t bawl like a baby when leaving the house. Who’d have thought one little pixie would shoot that all to hell? “Thank you so much. I’m—”
Her phone chimed from her back pocket. “Let me see what that is in case there’s an issue.” After fishing the phone out, she checked the screen. One missed text from Shell. Hopefully she hadn’t keeled over when she saw just how much stuff Cassie had. A quick swipe of her thumb pulled up a pic with a message that read, “Get your butt over here, Mama! We can’t wait any longer.”
In the photo, Beth sat on Copper’s shoulders. His big hands held her feet, keeping her safe from falling as she had her hands thrown up in the air. Both wore huge grins. They stood under a sign that read, “Welcome Home Cassie,” and the room behind them was full of balloons.
Her heart which had felt like a lead anvil only moments ago, lightened and nearly burst from her chest. Damn, she had a truly incredible family.
“That is just too damn cute,” Jazz said, making no bones about the fact that she read over Cassie’s shoulder.”
“You know what? I really am okay. Yes, my heart hurts, and I’ve thought of Viper about a thousand times today as I do every day, but I am okay. I’m excited to be surrounded by family and to watch Copper raise two children.”
Jazz’s head fell back on her shoulders and she let out a cackling laugh. “Oh, it’s gonna be a trip, that’s for sure.”
Chuckling along with her friend, Cassie said, “Can you imagine what he’s gonna be like when they’re teenagers? Especially if he has two girls?”
“Oh man, you might wanna move out by then. It’s gonna be ugly.”
By the time they finished laughing, both women had tears in their eyes for reasons of mirth instead of grief.
“Oh man,” Jazz said as she wiped under her eyes. “That’s good stuff.” She fell quiet, pressing her lips together for a moment. “You know…” Tilting her head to the side, she half-smiled. “He’d be so damn proud of you, Cassie. God, he loved you. Is that okay for me to say?”
More than okay. It was necessary.
“Of course it’s okay. That’s something I will never tire of hearing. Now, enough about me. How are you?”
For a moment, it seemed Jazz would blow off the question, but she sighed instead. Both of them knew Cassie wasn’t asking a general question. She wanted to know how Jazz was handling Viper’s death as she was the one he died protecting.
There wasn’t a single cell in Cassie’s body that blamed the other woman, but that didn’t mean Jazz hadn’t taken on the blame even though they’d spoken of this already.
“I’m all right. I have moments that sneak up on me where I feel profound guilt.” Jazz shrugged and stared at the house.
“Sweetie, you know—”
“Yes,” she said as she tapped her temple with her forefinger. “I know that here.” She moved her hand down, rubbing it over the left side of her chest “But sometimes here…”
“Yeah.” Oh, how she wished there was something she could say to relieve Jazz of this burden. But there wasn’t. She’d said it all already. Time would heal Jazz’s wounds, along with the love of her two men, but chances were, part of her would always shoulder some feeling of responsibility. No matter how undeserved.
“Those boys of yours helping you process everything and reminding you, you aren’t to blame?”
“Always,” Jazz said. “Whether it’s just exhausting me each night until I’m too tired to think of anything else”—she winked, drawing a laugh from Cassie—“Or them holding me while I cry and reminding me I’m not responsible for others’ actions. Screw said I’m a gift to them from Viper.”
“Oh, sweetie, that’s so true. The man would do the same thing all over again if it meant saving you. If it meant giving you a chance to have what he had with me. Life, love, and happiness.”
“Man, look at us,” Jazz said with a watery laugh. “We’re a mess. We better get going. If we stand here much longer, we’ll drown.”
She took Jazz’s hand. “Yeah, let’s go. I’m ready to start the next phase of my life.”
There wasn’t a doubt in Cassie’s mind that Viper saved their Jazmine so she could find the kind of love he shared with Cassie.
An unconditional, once in a lifetime, never-ending, death-defying love.
The kind of love that was waiting for her among the stars.
EPILOGUE
1989 - TENNESSEE
Some women wanted a huge wedding in a fancy chapel with hundreds of guests, a princess ballgown, a six-tiered cake, and fucking lobster.
Not his Cassie.
From the moment her girls began questioning her on the wedding plans, Cassie had said the same thing again and again.
“I want it in the clearing behind the club house. No suites, no bridesmaid dresses. And I want barbecue. We live in Tennessee for crying out loud. We need to have barbecue,” she’d said each and every time she’d been asked.
Cindy, for one, was less than impressed with the plans. She’d tried to talk Cassie into something a little more formal. Renting a hall, getting married in a church, a dress that cost four digits.
His woman would have none of it.
And when he’d asked if those were the plans she really wanted or if she’d picked it because she thought it’s what he would want…well, she about bit his head off.
“You trying to say I don’t know my own mind?” she’d asked, hip jutting to the side and eyes spitting fire.
He’d lifted his hands in surrender as he’d stepped closer to her. “No, ma’am. I’d never suggest something so stupid.” When he’d reached her, he circled his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. His erection had settled against her stomach and her eyes had narrowed farther.
So, sue him, Cassie hopping mad got him hard.
He hadn’t been worried. He knew just how to get his woman to soften in his arms. He’d kissed her neck, right where it began to ease into her shoulder. Cassie shuddered and tilted her head.
Putty in his hands.
He’d done it again and again until she’d been panting and rubbing all against him.
“I just want to make sure you get what you need to have the perfect fucking wedding,” he’d said as he’d dragged his tongue up and down her throat.
“A-all I need is you. I could get married in a van and it’d be perfect.”
The sincerity in her voice had him puffing his chest out like damn Tarzan. Knowing his woman loved him so much made him feel like a god. He pulled back and kissed her mouth until she whimpered. “Love you.”
“You’d better,” she’d whispered with a smile. “We’re not fancy people, Viper. We like hanging out at the clubhouse with our family. We like loud, raucous parties with bikers, booze, and, pounding music. We like jeans and leather.” Then she’d shrugged. “I want
a wedding that represents us.”
And that’s when it made sense. Cassie had grown up in a huge house with every material possession imaginable. Fancy parties had been a weekly occurrence. Weddings, well, it wasn’t uncommon for people in her family’s social circle to spend well into the tens of thousands on the blessed events. Cassie had removed herself from that life. Money didn’t make her family happy, she always said. In fact, it did quite the opposite, driving them apart and creating greed and misery. She wouldn’t want a wedding reminiscent of her old life. She wanted simple, fun, and what they loved.
So that’s what she got.
Viper smoothed his hands down the front of his cut. A pair of new black jeans, a white button-up, and new boots were as fancy as he’d gotten for the day. Again, Cassie’s insistence. She wanted him there with her on the altar, not, “some dude I don’t recognize in a suit.”
“Lookin’ sharp, brother,” Sarge said as he stepped into the spare room Viper had taken over in the club house.
“Yeah? I pass muster?”
“I mean, you ain’t my type, but I’m pretty sure that lady of yours’ll be willing to do you.”
Viper laughed. “Sure hope so.”
Sarge looked much the same Viper did in dark denim, a white shirt and his cut. He wore his typical scuffed boots and hadn’t bothered with new jeans, but he’d cleaned up well. “Looking pretty good yourself, brother.”
With a wink, Sarge nodded. “Cindy sure thought so. She apologizes for making us late.”
Viper snorted. “Why do I feel like you’re more to blame than she is?”
The only reply he got was a smirk and wagging eyebrows.
“Supposed to tell you it’s time.”
Shit.
His stomach did a loop-d-loop, flipping and flopping multiple times. He hadn’t had a lick of nerves until this very moment and now he just might puke before going out there.
“You okay, brother? Face is turning kinda green.”
“Shit. Uh, yeah, I’m good. Nervous all of a sudden.” He pressed a hand to his stomach and shook his head to clear the anxiety.
