“I didn’t want it to be too much.”
His lips quirked. “I won’t lie. I didn’t either, but . . . honestly, we needed to stop.”
Her eyes widened. “Why?”
The boyish smirk that broke out on his face nearly had her melting. “Because when of us finally gets off, it’s going to be you first.”
She huffed out a relieved laugh. He kissed her forehead.
“Tell me something though. And . . . understand that the answer is not some sort of ultimatum. I just want to know what I’m dealing with here.”
“Okay.”
“Is your being a virgin . . . a choice you’ve made to wait for marriage? Or is it something else.”
“I’m not saving myself for marriage. I just . . . haven’t been with a man I trust. I have to trust you.”
He nodded. “I hope we can get there. Not only for the sex . . . but because I’m sort of into you if you couldn’t tell.”
How was he real? Seriously. She’d been on this earth for twenty-seven years. Thought she’d seen all the “types” of men there were to see. And yet, here he was. Saying just the right thing, not forcing her or making her uncomfortable. Even looking out for her brother.
“I’m kind of into you too.”
The ball was so going to drop any time now. Then again, what if it didn’t?
CHAPTER TEN
The next morning, Lia got up early so she could head to Halcyon Manor Nursing Home. She had a love-hate relationship with the facility. On one hand, they cared for her mother, allowing Lia to focus on Caleb, and of course herself. But on the other, she had a lot of resentment for the woman who raised her, and now that was only compounded by the fact that her existence had become a third job for Lia.
She knew guilt was normal when a person put their parent into long-term nursing care, but Lia still wasn’t sure if her guilt outweighed her anger in regard to her mother. The anger deepened the guilt, and vice versa. But here she was, stepping in the front door just like she’d done three times a week—at least—for the past several years.
“Morning, Elaine,” Lia said quietly to the older woman working the welcome desk.
“Hello, Lia. It’s a beautiful morning, isn’t it?” Elaine was always chipper, and Lia couldn’t help but wonder how a woman over seventy could enjoy working in a place that was just waiting for her to join its list of residents.
“It is. I love fall,” Lia said, as she walked toward the double doors that would lead her to her mother’s room.
Pushing them open, she held her breath for a long moment, hoping to ease the wave of nursing-home smell that always washed over her.
“Hi, Lia.” The facilities head administrator stopped her in the hallway.
“Hey, Kelly.” As Lia continued, she heard Kelly call her name again.
“Could we chat real quick? It should only take a minute, but it’s pretty important.”
Worry bubbled up in her stomach and must have been visible on her face.
“Don’t worry. Your mother is just fine. It’s about her accommodations.”
“Oh . . . okay.” Lia turned and followed Kelly through a heavy wooden door and into a cozy office. She sat down in a chair and waited for the other woman to get settled.
“I’m going to get right to the point. Your mother received another strong complaint against her from a roommate. We had to move her again.”
Lia sighed. Her mother was . . . a problem. She couldn’t talk or move well due to her stroke, so she was easily frustrated. That made her irritable, and she frequently took her anger out on her unfortunate roommates.
“I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do. I’ve tried talking to her so many times.”
Kelly gave her a sympathetic smile. “I know you have, and so have I. Unfortunately our options are limited this time. It’s the third complaint. The last family was so upset they contacted our board of directors. It caused them to read her file. And . . . well, they don’t think it makes sense to try a double occupancy again after so many complaints.”
Oh God. She could just strangle her mother. “Where is she now?” Lia asked. “And when did this happen?”
“We moved her yesterday. Into a private room.”
Lia’s shoulders sagged. “Can’t she just stay there?”
“I wish she could, because it would make things easier on all of us. However, Medicaid will not cover the costs of a private room, or we would have done that long ago. The only reason I allowed her moved in there this time is because I had a room open up and her roommate’s family was demanding immediate action.”
“What does this mean, Kelly?” Lia asked quietly.
Kelly let out a long breath. “We have forty-eight people on our private-room waiting list. I should have contacted one of them Tuesday morning for the room I put your mother in. I can’t keep her in there for more than a few days, Lia. I’m sorry.”
“Sooo, what are you saying? You’re kicking her out?” Lia felt tears pushing at the corner of her eyes. How could this be happening? She worked too damn hard for her mother to ruin things for her now, when she was so close to reaching her goals.
“I don’t want to, but I don’t have any choice. The only thing I could do is allow her to take this open private room since she’s an existing resident. But that would require you to supplement the Medicaid cost.”
Lia felt dizzy. “How much is that?”
Kelly looked almost pained as she answered. “Forty-seven dollars.”
“A week?”
“A day.”
Lia was frozen in her chair. The words repeated over and over in her head. She tried to clear her throat. “That’s almost fifteen hundred a month.”
“Yes.”
“A house payment.”
“Unfortunately, yes. I’m so sorry, Lia.”
Lia sighed, begging the tears to wait. Turning her head, she stared at the potted plant Kelly had in her window. The cars parked outside. A picture of three adorable kids on the desk. Anything to escape the reality she’d just been handed.
“Your other option is to move her to another facility, but to be blunt, there will be new issues with a move like that.”
“Why?” Lia asked a little too sharply, her head snapping back.
“Well, for one, Debbie—like many residents—does better with consistency. As irritable as she can be, she likes most of her nurses and they like her. One-on-one she does quite well. Moving her to a new place, with unknown variables, could be devastating. Secondly, the list for Medicaid beds in most facilities is a mile long. You could be waiting for months. Even longer. Which would mean you’d have to take her home with you.”
Lia’s heart sank at those words. There was absolutely no way she could do that again. Not physically, but also not mentally. Too much bitterness filled her heart to care for the woman the way she’d require. And Lia couldn’t do that to Caleb.
“Finally, you will inevitably run into the same issues with roommates somewhere else.”
Lia nodded, wiping a traitorous tear from her eye. She hated to cry, and she seemed to be doing way too much of it lately. “I’m sure you’re right.”
“I wish it didn’t have to be like this. If it were up to me, Medicaid would just pay for the service we say someone needs. But it doesn’t work that way.”
She choked out a bitter, tear-filled laugh. “It’s certainly not your fault that my mother is a bitchy invalid.”
Kelly’s lips pressed together. After a silent moment, she finally spoke quietly. “It’s not your fault either.”
For the past three years, Kelly had been good to Lia and her mother, God knew why, considering how much trouble they’d been.
Sometimes Lia felt like the other woman shared some sort of understanding with her. Had felt it ever since the day she’d walked into the building on the edge of a breakdown. At the time her mother had been living with them for a week after being booted out of her rehabilitation center for meeting her Medicare allowance. Ther
e had been almost no warning, so Lia had no choice but to bring her mother home to Manhattan and care for her with her teenage brother’s help.
It was the cruelest twist of fate, that the woman who had largely neglected Lia through her entire childhood was now so needy. After allowing a monster of a man into their home and leaving drugs out on the coffee table, Debbie Hanson had the audacity to overdose and then stroke, requiring Lia to feed, bathe, and clothe her.
One week. She and Caleb had never worked so hard in their lives. But after a desperate phone call, Kelly had been there for them. A saint if Lia had ever met one. She’d helped Lia move along their Medicaid application, facilitated the logistics of getting her mother from the apartment to Halcyon Manor. Basically, she’d saved the day. And there was no way in hell Lia could go back to caring for Debbie. No way.
It was selfish, she knew that. But at the age of twenty-seven, she had dreams of her own. Goals. Could anyone blame her for not wanting to give up everything to care for a woman who could barely even recall all the pain she’d caused her children? Lia couldn’t even chew her out, because on most days her cognitive skills were a crapshoot.
And just like always, the guilt set in. Because damn it, she was still her mother. Shit.
“Can I have a day to think about this?”
“I can give you until Friday, but no more. I’m sorry.”
“I understand. Thank you, Kelly.”
“You’re not the first one to be in a situation like this, although I know that doesn’t make it any easier.”
Lia stood up. “Was she pissed about moving?”
Kelly followed her to the door chuckling. “She was livid. Until she saw the room and found out nobody else was in there with her. Then, she was ecstatic.”
Considering that, Lia paused. Fifteen hundred dollars a month? Was it even possible? Was her mother even worth it?
“I know this is difficult, Lia. I certainly won’t blame you at all if you decide to try moving her to another facility. Your mom would be okay. I would just hate for you to get into a cycle of this.”
“Me too. I do want her to be happy.”
Kelly gave her a sad smile. “I know you do. Go see her. She’s in one-fourteen.”
Turning to walk down the hall, Lia stopped and faced Kelly one more. “If I do this . . . when would the money be due for this month?”
“Technically it was due by the fifth. But I can let you have until the end of the month.”
“And then the following month is due on the fifth.”
Kelly nodded.
Lia thanked her once more and headed down the hall. She slowed down outside the doorway of her mother’s temporary room. Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the slightly ajar door.
“It’s about time, Janine.” Debbie’s slurred speech rang out. Her left side was nearly paralyzed completely. She was also blind in one eye, had severe memory loss, and couldn’t always perform basic tasks that required cognitive process. Things like adding, playing games, and using a remote control. “I can’t get my pants on.”
“Hey, Mom.” Lia rushed over to where her mother was lying on her side on the bed, one leg hanging off as she tried to slip some sweatpants over her foot.
“Hurry up and help me,” she muttered, failing to even acknowledge the sudden appearance of her daughter. Sometimes she was difficult to understand, but things became clearer when she was angry. Meaning Lia usually had no trouble making out her demands.
Using all her strength, Lia bent her knees, slid her arms under her mother, and then moved her up onto the bed and on her back. “You should have waited for Janine, Mom.”
“I tried but I’m in a hurry.”
“A hurry for what?” Lia barked back. “You have nowhere to go.”
“It’s Wednesday. Movies with Ruby. Today is When Harry Met Sally. One of my favorites.”
“Ah, yes. How could I forget?” Ruby and her husband Frank were pretty much Debbie’s only resident friends at Halcyon. There were both in their late eighties, and while Frank was bedridden, Ruby was rather spry, all things considered. She also treated Debbie very well. Lia had even bought Ruby Christmas and birthday gifts over the past year, per Debbie’s request. She liked knowing that her mother had a friend here. Another reason why she couldn’t move her from this facility.
“Do you even remember watching When Harry Met Sally?” Lia asked.
“Of course, I do.”
It always amazed Lia, the odd things her mother recalled. Sometimes she wondered if her memory was not so much gone, as it was selective. But her doctors assured Lia that it was normal for randomness in memory loss, and that things could come and go.
Fitting the elastic of the sweat pants over each of Debbie’s toes, Lia then worked to get them pulled up her legs. Her mother threw her right hand up over her face and giggled, as if she’d just thought of the funniest thing.
“Me and Cash seen it at the theater when it came out. One of our first dates. Gosh, I miss him.”
Lia rolled her eyes. Of all the people in the world, the one who she wished could be wiped from all their pasts was her mother’s ex, and Caleb’s father, Cash. But of course, the one person at the root of so much of their family’s pain, was the same person her mother had several fond memories of. Some things never changed.
* * *
Thursday afternoon Lia was at the coffee shop, and she still hadn’t decided what to do. Yes, she knew that keeping Debbie at Halcyon Manor was the ideal situation, but money was an issue. Her emergency stash could cover a good chunk of the first month, but from there on out she’d have to pick up another shift a week at Exquisite. It was the only way, short of . . . dancing. She could easily make a thousand dollars in just a couple of days. But she couldn’t imagine doing that. She had no clue how to be sexy naked. And that wasn’t the only reason. She knew in her heart that wasn’t for her. The saddest thing was knowing that her dream of quitting the club when she graduated was gone. There was no way she could find a job with a starting salary enough to cover the cost.
Picking up the next cup in line, Lia read the order. Tall, mocha latte, no whip. Getting to work, she glanced over at Abbie who was at the register. The line was about five deep. Not too bad, but her back ached and she wanted to go home and discuss things with Caleb. She figured at almost seventeen, he should be in on the decision making since either way it was going to affect him.
If Lia had to work more, he’d be alone more. If they moved their mother, there was a chance something could go wrong. And then of course the worst possible outcome was that they ended up having to care for her again themselves.
She had less than twenty-four hours.
“You doing okay?” Abbie asked over her shoulder. She’d put Daniel on the register so she could help make drinks.
“Yeah, of course. Why?”
Abbie shrugged. “You’ve just seemed a little spacey. And I worry about you.”
“I’m okay. A lot on my mind, but . . . it shall pass.”
She could feel Abbie’s eyes on her and Lia knew she wasn’t fooling anyone. But the great thing about Abbie was that she knew when to push and when to bide her time. “When is your job fair?”
Lia considered that. Damn, she’d nearly forgotten. “Next week. God, time’s just really gotten away from me lately.”
And she’d also had a lot on her mind. Stressing about her mother, of course. But she’d also spent a lot of time thinking about one sexy gym owner. The last time she’d been with him had been amazing. He just continued to surprise her whenever they spent time together. The fear that it was all too good to be true nagged at her brain.
When will he get mad about something and how will he react? Does he secretly drink too much? Do drugs? Will he hate her if he finds out she works at a strip club? She went back and forth on that. One minute she told herself that she had nothing to be ashamed of—who cares what he thought. But another part of her . . . was torn. She was a little ashamed of working there. Not becau
se she did anything wrong, but because she knew how others would view her if they knew.
She’d initially thought Tyler would never have any reason to know about it since her days there were numbered. But now? Hope and optimism were suddenly something Lia had very little of.
She set the mocha latte on the pick-up counter and moved on to the next drink. Soy, vanilla, iced coffee, extra shot.
Tyler had texted her last night, which had been nice since she’d wondered when they might see each other again. They’d both seemed to be playing it safe as far as requesting more time together, discussing what came next, or talking about much in the way of a relationship. But she knew she wasn’t even close to getting her fill of him. Even with all the stress consuming her thoughts, despite her anxiety, he was always there, hovering just behind the worry and frustration.
“Hey, beautiful,” a voice whispered across the stacks of mugs on the counter.
Lia’s head jerked up and she broke out in a wide grin. “I was just thinking about you.”
“That’s what I like to hear. I was thinking about you too. Obviously, since I’m here.” He glanced at the line. “You’re busy.”
“I know. Can you hang out for a bit? We’ll hopefully be caught up in a couple of minutes.”
“Yeah. I’ll just go sit in a corner and try to look super brooding and hipsterish while I scroll through my phone.”
Lia laughed. “You couldn’t look like a hipster if you tried.”
“You don’t think so? Not even if I had a beanie? Or a beard?”
She stared at him, imagining both. “I can’t picture it. You’re way too dangerous-looking.”
His eyes squinted in a glare, but she knew he was teasing. “Dangerous, huh?”
“Go sit down,” she said, smiling. “I’ll try to hurry.”
Within fifteen minutes she was joining him at the same table they’d sat at the last time, iced coffee in hand. She’d needed a pick-me-up.
“So, this is our table now?” she asked.
“Apparently, this is where all the dangerous men like to sit.” His eyes sparkled as he spoke. He was so incredibly handsome, it was almost ridiculous.
Along Came Us (Man Enough) Page 12
