Captain pushes on my chest, trying to drive me away, but I shove his hand off and he shakes his head, unable to look at Brielle.
“You’re such an asshole.” She rasps, uncertainty in her gaze.
“I know.” And this will be my greatest show.
An R-rated fucking nightmare, never to be forgotten, a sight I’ll forever be haunted by.
She blinks but nothing new shines back as she does and it tears me in two, yet she doesn’t run, doesn’t move an inch.
She stands still, staring right at me.
I need her away before I crack.
“I’m sorry for what happened to you, it never should have.” The only true words to leave me tonight. “But I’m not gonna stand here and pretend I have any more use for you. I’ve already taken all you’ve got to offer. Used you up like I planned to. Erased the halo hanging above your head and replaced it with some horns, but that’s what you wanted, right? To be bad? To be a part of the darkness of our world.” I walk backward, retaking my place on the couch, Katie on one side, Giana on the other. I shrug. “You’ve got nothing left I want, so go on, little Bishop,” I rasp, not recognizing my own voice. “Get out of here before you get bit. I’m trying to celebrate, and you’re killing the mood.”
“I’m not done talking to you,” she pushes on, her voice so low it’s almost missed, her hope damn near dead at my hands.
Micah steps up, gripping her arm gently and I fly from my seat, shove him back, and dip into her face. I growl the final gauntlet; one I know will get her to leave.
“You really want another person to get their ass beat because of you?”
My heart cracks, shame and self-reproach stabbing straight through my skin, the blade jagged, wrapped in wire, and twisted on impact.
How dare I use what she told me about what happened to her brother against her.
Her lip trembles, but she fights it. “How dare you say that to me.”
The cords in my neck stretch tight and I grind my teeth together. “You’re pathetic to think I wouldn’t.”
“And you’re a bastard who’s afraid to show himself because what if people don’t love you when you do?” She pushes into my chest. “Well, fuck those people, and fuck you too for being too much of a coward to stand here and do what you really want, because I know it’s not this, but I guess you want to learn this the hard way.” She begins to back away. “Watch me walk away from you this time, Royce, and don’t expect me to be the one who strolls on back.”
She turns around and leaves, tearing my heart out and taking it with her.
Fucking me even more, my brother leaves with her.
Chapter 33
Brielle
“Brielle, wait!”
I keep rushing for the exit, but Captain catches up to me, gently shooting in front of me.
“Please, just—”
“Get the fuck away from her.”
I jump, swinging around and searching the darkness, and there he is, creeping up with slow angry strides, a dark shadow falling over his eyes as he approaches.
He doesn’t spare Captain a glance, but steps right in front of me.
The events of the night, the last few days, and everything in between come crashing around me at the sight of him. Tears fill my eyes, clogging my vision, and I fall into him.
His arms wrap around me instantly, pulling me closer, and I begin to full-on cry.
He clutches the back of my head gently, and whispers, “I’ve got you, baby sister.”
I grip on to my brother’s jacket, and his hold on me tightens.
He sways me like he did when we were kids, when he’d come to comfort me after an episode from our father.
I hate that this is how he’s seeing me for the first time in so long—weak and needy.
“Tell your brother he’s a dead man,” Bass growls.
“Fuck you,” Captain rumbles, his presence growing closer. “Threaten my brother again, Bishop. You know what’ll happen.”
“Stop,” I whisper, pulling myself free.
I turn to Captain, and his eyes soften, instant understanding.
He nods. “I’ll get Valine home.”
My lip twitches, and I turn to her, but she throws her hands up and follows him off, not needing an explanation.
Captain steps in once more his voice a desperate whisper, “remember what we talked about at the zoo, Brielle.”
I drop my eyes to my feet and he walks away.
Nervously, I spin back to my brother, and he nods his head, so I follow him toward the edge of the gate, but he falls behind, saying hello to the people who spot him on his way through the crowd.
Once outside, he faces me.
“Look at you, B,” he rasps, running his tongue along his lips and looking away when his eyes gloss over. “Little but... not.”
I chuckle and he reaches out, so I slip my hand into his.
“You’re beautiful, B.”
A small smile finds my lips, and I look up. “You’re somehow taller than I remember.”
He leads us farther toward the car he must have drove up in.
It’s nice, nicer than anything I’d expect he could afford. A classic, like he’s always wanted.
A 1969 Mustang Fastback, the exact car he had taped to his bedroom wall for as long as I can remember. I don’t have to wonder if it’s his or something he borrowed to make the drive, the plate gives him away.
BISHOP2.
Something comes over me and the tears come rushing back.
“Yeah,” he rasps. “I’m must be fucked-up in the head to reuse anything those assholes did, but I couldn’t not, so I used it right. I know four Bishop was her way of giving a gift, but there have never been four of us.” His eyes slide to mine, my sweet, protecting brother. “There’s always only ever been two. Just me and you, B.”
More stupid tears slip free as a heavy silence falls over us, and it’s devastating how uncomfortable of a feeling it is. To fill it, we slide into his car and he starts down the road.
It takes several minutes for him to finally speak. “What the hell happened, Brielle? How did you end up here?”
I shrug and answer simply. “Royce came to town, like you said he would, and then he came back and took me home with him.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you left this place?” I counter in a whisper. “I came here thinking you’d be here with me.”
“And when you realized I wasn’t, you should have come to me.”
“Once I realized you were gone, I didn’t need to run to you, Bass.”
Worry tightens his eyes. “You sure? Look at you. Are you even okay?”
I swallow. “Yeah, I’m fine. It was an accident. I ... blacked out.”
He jerks and I tense. “What do you mean, it’s happening again?”
I look away, guilt I shouldn’t feel tearing at me.
“Fuck, it never stopped,” he rasps. “But it got worse here, didn’t it?” he guesses.
“I’m fine, Bass.”
“You don’t look fine, Brielle. I know what the destruction a Bray’s path left behind looks like,” Bass snaps. “Something happens and suddenly you mean shit, if you ever meant a damn fucking thing in the first place.”
“Tonight was just... a bad night.”
“There are always going to be bad nights. They don’t stop. They only get worse. Is that what you want?”
“This isn’t who he is. He’s upset with himself.”
He stops at a light, looking to me. “And that’s an excuse?!”
“What’s yours?!” I find myself shouting, growing defensive of the life I’m building here and the people in it.
My brothers face falls. “Brielle—”
“What’s your excuse, Bass?!”
“You were never supposed to come here,” he says instead. “I told you to lie. To be you and stay away and you’d be fine!”
“Why be me?!” I scream, shifting in my seat to
face him full on. “Because he could never love a girl like me?! Because I’m not worth it?! Well, guess what, Bass, it wasn’t him I lied to. It was you!”
His head pulls back.
I keep my frown in place. “You asked me if he fell for your plan, and I said yes. I said yes because it was true. You told me to be me, to make sure Ciara was around when I was, so he’d see us both, and fall for the lie, and he did. He took one look at her, and just like you said he would, decided she was me. Bass Bishop’s tall, gorgeous, look-alike.”
“Brielle.” He shakes his head, but I don’t let him say more.
“What I didn’t tell you, was how she outed me not fifteen minutes later, so I stuck to your little plan. I did exactly what you said, like I always do.” I throw my hands out, letting them fall to my lap with a slap. “I was me, fully and completely, and what do you know, he didn’t hate me for it. He didn’t throw me away for being me, like you did.”
He blanches.
“Yeah, Bass, I know.” I glare. “I know now that you’re the one who made the decision for me. You had me sent away, split us apart. Not them. You.”
His eyes harden, flying over my shoulder. “He tell you that?”
“You know what, no he didn’t, but he should have. I gave him a lot of crap for it and not once did he throw that in my face when he could have so many times, and you know why?” I ask but don’t allow him to answer. “Because he knew how much you meant to me and that it would break my damn heart to find out the truth before I was ready for it.”
“He has you manipulated.”
“No,” I snap. “He doesn’t. But thanks for letting me know how unstable you think I am.”
“I don’t think you’re unstable.” He shakes his head. “But you’re young. You—”
“I’m not young,” I cut in with a low laugh. “Bass, I’ve lived the life of a grown-ass adult since I was in grammar school, just like you. I’ve never been a kid and you know it. Neither of us had that honor.”
“You’re still my sister.” His knee bounces and he looks away. “And you’re not staying here, Brielle. I’m sorry, but you’re not.”
I push against the seat. “Well, I’m sorry, because it’s not your choice. You don’t get to do this, remember me when it’s convenient, and then show up when I finally no longer feel like I’m waiting for you.”
“We’ll talk about this at the hotel.”
“No.”
His head snaps toward me and he glares.
“Take me home.”
“Brielle—”
“I said take me home.” I stare straight ahead, an unexpected numbness crawling over me.
He wants to argue, but with a low curse, he heads that way.
Only when I’m climbing from the car, preparing to slam the door does he whisper, “This isn’t your home.”
I slam the thing as hard as I can.
I can’t believe I’ve been waiting for so long to see my brother face-to-face. To hug him and laugh with him and this is how our reunion goes.
Screw tonight!
Screw Royce Brayshaw and screw my brother.
I’m going to get high with my friend because I can, and then I’m going to pass out and hope tomorrow is a better day.
My hope went to shit.
The next day was as crappy as the one before, and today sucks just as much, but I can’t hide in my room anymore.
My brother has called me nonstop, showed up a half dozen times, and I’ve brushed him off each and every time.
I’m not ready to deal with him yet when everything else is so fucked-up.
The reality that surrounds him is the fact that he’ll be leaving, and when he does... is he leaving alone or with a plus one?
I can’t think about that right now, so I’m doing my best not to think at all, sitting on a park bench, taking hold of the joint Valine passes me.
“You look like shit.” She flicks her hair over her shoulder, her pointy nails clicking together as she does.
I fight off a cough, grinning as I blow out a long line of smoke, trailing it until it disappears into the air. “Yeah, I could use a brush.”
“And maybe some eyeliner.”
I laugh, bumping my shoulder into hers. “Here, take your pinner back.”
“Bitch, you think I can afford to roll more than a half gram at once? Negative.”
I cut my eyes her way. “Can I ask how you make money?”
“Can I ask why you wear an ice mask to bed?” She pops a perfectly shaped brow. “Pre-punch by your man, that it?” she jokes to lighten the mood.
A scoffed laugh leaves me and I look away.
Touché.
My muscles have finally calmed enough to allow for a long exhale.
“Nice, right? Letting this shit chill you out?” She blows out a cloud of smoke, pulling in another and holding it. “My mom used to say it’s a street girl’s Xanax.” She nods, looking over the town. “Makes sense, I guess.”
I don’t push on the mom comment, I know it will only have her jumping up and flipping me off on her way out, so I go with something totally different.
“You know I hadn’t smoked in a year before the other night?”
“I haven’t smoked in nine months.”
Our heads cut over our shoulders to find Raven walking up.
Her eyes are on Valine. “I need to steal your friend.”
Valine leans forward, tilting her head. “I don’t know, I’m kinda not hating her right now.”
“I kinda don’t care.” Raven pulls a baggy from her pocket and holds it between two fingers.
Valine grins and pushes to her feet. “I kinda like you.” She walks away.
Raven watches her go, and then her eyes slide back to mine. “That’s been in the glovebox since before I got pregnant. It’s dry as shit, but she won’t figure it out until we’re done talking.”
A low chuckle leaves me. “I don’t think she’ll care.”
Raven nods and walks closer. “Broke girls never do. Weed is weed. An escape is an escape.” She speaks from experience.
Raven stands near the bench and looks out over the planter boxes. “I’d sit if it didn’t sting like a bitch to get up.”
“How are you feeling?” I pull my lips to the side.
She scoffs a laugh. “Like I did after I got stabbed.”
My head jerks toward her.
“Long story.” She chuckles.
One my brother likely knows.
“And the baby, how is he?”
She smiles wide this time, looking away. “With a dad and uncles like his? Guaranteed to be one of a fucking kind.” She laughs. “I’m almost terrified, but for now? He’s tiny and perfect.”
I meet her eyes and her lip twitches. “He has a beautiful and fitting name.” I haven’t had a chance to tell her that. “The raven and the phoenix.”
“And the wolf.” She grins. “I’m just waiting for that first person to clown so I can knock their teeth in,” she teases. “No more baby in here, even if it still kind of looks like it.”
Both of us laugh, but hers dries up quickly and she grows somber.
A heavy dose of tension begins to encase us, growing thicker and thicker the longer we stare at each other.
She squints. “I heard what happened.”
“I figured you would have.”
She nods and then shifts her entire body toward me. “You’ve thought about leaving.”
It’s not a question, so I don’t answer.
“Don’t do it, Brielle.” She’s not commanding but pleading cautiously, the ache in her tone clear as day. “If you go, he’ll find you and bring you back anyway. So just don’t do it.”
“Then maybe I should.” I sit back.
Her frown is instant. “Are you serious? You’d for real walk away from him?”
“Oh, that would be me doing the walking?” My eyes widen.
“Don’t act so blind like you don’t see why he’s doing this.”
Her choice of words is triggering and I jump off the bench, glaring at her. “Screw you, Raven.”
The click of a door sounds behind me, but I don’t look, not even when Raven holds up a hand to halt the watcher’s advance. Not once does she take her sturdy gaze from mine.
Questions rise in her eyes, but she doesn’t ask them, instead lowering her hand to her side.
I know she’s not angry with me, that she’s simply worried about Royce, and the last thing I want to do is pick a fight with her when I’m already fighting with enough people.
Her defenses fall. “I need your help, Brielle.”
A mix of emotions stir low inside me, and I swallow.
Pain blankets her features, the reason obvious.
Royce.
“He’s fucked-up,” she confirms my heart’s whispers with a broken one of her own. “And for the first fucking time, we can’t help him.”
Of course.
An ugly sense of self-pity creeps in before I can block it out. “So you come to me as a last resort.”
“Not last, Brielle. First. Only.” She steps toward me. “I’ve never seen him like this, and we’ve been through some shit. It doesn’t take much to recognize heartache from a Brayshaw.” She looks behind me, and I cut a quick glance over my shoulder to find Maddoc standing at the back door of the idling black Denali. “These boys, they self-destruct. Fuckin’ crash from the inside and by the time it’s on the out?” Her eyes come back to mine, and she shakes her head. “We need your help.”
I look to Maddoc, and he takes a single step forward, lowering his chin at me. I turn back to Raven.
“I understand, I do.” I grab my bag off of the bench. “And I know you understand exactly why I won’t. It’s like you said, he’ll only come for me once I’m gone. So maybe I should be?” I lift a shoulder. “My brother is only a call away.”
Her eyes narrow and just like that, she leaves.
Royce
“You self-sabotaging dumbass!”
I groan, opening my eyes when the trampoline wobbles beneath me.
Break Me Page 34
