Silver Bells

by Raney,Deborah

  “Hey! Looks good.”

  “Good? That’s all you got? Come on, baby brother…it looks great, and you know it.”

  He shrugged and gave her the crooked grin that had always been able to infuriate and charm her in the same minute.

  He came over and proceeded to give her what Dad had always called a Dutch rub, holding her head in a viselike lock with his elbow and rubbing her scalp with his fist till it burned.

  She squealed and punched him with the point of her own elbow. They scuffled playfully until Mom intervened.

  “Cut it out, you two. Allen, you’re going to hurt her arm.”

  Allen backed off, looking genuinely alarmed. “I forgot. You okay?”

  “I’m fine.” She shot Mom a look. “I told you, it barely grazed me.”

  “In that case––” Allen slugged her.

  “Ouch!”

  Mom gasped. “Allen James Penn! You’re going to wake up your father. Not to mention, you’re going to knock over the Christmas tree before we even get one gift under it.”

  “Hey, wait a minute.” Michelle put her hands on her hips. “What happened to all the angst about my arm?”

  “You said you were fine.” Allen punched her again and ducked out of her reach. “I’m heading to bed.” He went to the fridge, poured a glass of milk, and raised his glass to the twinkling tree. “Nice work, ladies.”

  Michelle turned to her mother, beaming. Her heart was so full right now—and so happy to be part of this family. She’d never really thought about the phrase before, but was this what they meant by “the Christmas spirit”?

  After her brother was out of earshot, she turned to her mom. “He seems like he’s doing really well, don’t you think?”

  “I think it did him good to go out with his friends. He was a little down when he first got home. He put on a good front, but he almost cried when he told us about the breakup.”

  “He did? Oh… Poor Allen.”

  Mom shook her head. “No, it’s for the best.”

  “Don’t you want him to be happy, Mom?”

  Her mother looked at her as though she’d never considered the question before. “I do want him to be happy. I want both of my children to be happy,” she said pointedly. “But not just happy for the sake of happy, but happy because they are at the center of God’s will.”

  “But how do you know?” She’d rarely had these heart-to-hearts with her mother when she lived at home, but after she went to college, something changed between them. She knew it was mostly her own attitude that had changed. But she had a newfound respect for Mom. Especially after seeing what Becky went through as a young mom.

  Mom studied her. “How do you know God’s will? Oh, honey, that’s the question of the ages. I don’t have an answer. I don’t think anyone really does. Except that I think if you’re asking Him to show you His will, He’ll do it. Through the Bible, through good counsel… If you ask for wisdom, God isn’t going to give you a counterfeit.”

  Michelle remembered a story from Sunday school about a boy asking his father for bread and Jesus saying that the father would not give his much-loved son a snake if he asked for bread. Or something like that. She was ashamed to admit she hadn’t read her Bible much lately. In fact, she’d probably cracked it open twice in the whole time she’d lived in her own apartment. And she only went to church enough to keep her parents satisfied. Maybe those things needed to change. And not just for her parents’ sake.

  Could she be happy if the center of God’s will for her life didn’t include a husband and children? She didn’t see how. But maybe for the first time in her life, she was willing to admit that all her dog-paddling and orchestrating were not getting her any closer to where she wanted to be. Maybe she could finally, truly trust that God would work it all out.

  And there was Rob. If he wasn’t part of God’s plan—and she had no clue whether he was or not—well, he certainly was a pleasant diversion.

  She fell asleep pondering the idea that maybe God had spoken something of His will to her this very night. It was a start.*****

  Rob leafed through the phone book until he came to the P’s. There it was. Penn. He picked up the phone and dialed, feeling as nervous as he had the first time he’d asked Julie Holcomb to the Snowball Dance his freshman year of high school.

  “Hello?” He recognized Michelle’s mother’s voice.

  “Mrs. Penn? This is Rob Merrick. We met at the emergency room that night of the…”

  “Of course. Hello, Rob.”

  “I wondered if I might speak to Michelle.”

  “Of course. She’s right here. We just finished breakfast.”

  “I hope I’m not interrupting.”

  “Not at all.”

  He heard muffled voices, and then she was on the line. “Hi, Rob.”

  “Did you get the tree up?”

  “We did. Stayed up past midnight last night. It turned out really pretty.”

  Her tone was friendly, but he could tell she was preoccupied. Whether because of something going on at home or because she was curious about why he was calling, he couldn’t tell. “I’m sorry to bother you at home, but I was wondering if I could talk to you about something.”

  “Yeah. Sure.”

  “Oh…sorry. Not over the phone. I meant in person. Tomorrow, I was hoping? Will you be home by then? Back in town, I mean?”

  “What time?” Her curiosity was clear now.

  “I was thinking lunch, but whenever it works for you. I’m free all day.”

  “Oh. Well, I’m going to church with my family and we usually go out to eat after, but—”

  “He’s welcome to come with us.” Rob heard her mother interrupt in the background and then Michelle shushing her.

  “How about if we make it tomorrow evening?” he said. “We could go for ice cream or something.”

  A long silence, and the background voices faded, as if she’d stretched the phone cord into another room. “Is this business or pleasure, Rob?”

  He thought for a minute. “I guess you’d say a little of both.”

  “You really have me curious. You can’t give me a clue?”

  “Sorry. I’d rather wait. It’s not a huge deal. Well, I guess it sort of is.”

  “Okay…” He heard people talking in the background again.

  “I’d better let you go. I know you’re trying to spend time with your family. How about if I just call you after supper tomorrow? Sound okay?”

  “Sure. I’ll wait to hear from you.”

  He hung up, wishing he’d just gone ahead and told her. His news was going to hit her completely by surprise—or maybe he was flattering himself to think she would even care.

  And he still had to figure out how to tell Dad he was leaving the Beacon.

  Life was about to get interesting.

  Chapter 31

  The choir’s song ended and Michelle shifted in the pew, trying to ignore her brother, who was scribbling something on his bulletin. He slid the folded program close to her on the pew between them.

  She read his cryptic quip. Row 2, 3 from L, hat looks like Purdy—postmortem.

  She snorted, masking her laughter with a hard cough. Purdy was the orphaned raccoon they’d raised, and Mrs. Highlam’s hat did indeed look like a dead raccoon.

  Her shoulders shook, and she dared not look at Allen because she knew he was cracking up too and just raring to egg her on. She felt Mom glaring at them and knew without even looking that her mother was remembering the countless times she’d had to separate Allen and Michelle in the pew for just such antics. Laughter bubbled up into her throat, threatening to escape.

  If she looked at Allen or Mom or Mrs. Highlam—especially Mrs. Highlam—she would lose it altogether. She had no choice but to pretend to pray. But she made the mistake of “praying” with her eyes open. Glancing over at Allen’s lap, she saw that he was rendering a portrait of a very dead raccoon—complete with Xs for eyes—atop a lady’s hat.

  She had
no choice but to rise, dip her head, slip past her brother and three other parishioners, and hightail it down the aisle and out into the foyer. She ignored the usher standing at the end of the hall and ducked into the women’s restroom. Thankfully it was empty. But now that she was alone, the whole episode didn’t seem nearly as funny.

  She checked her hair in the mirror, composed herself, and opened the door. She went to the foyer and stood in the doorway to the sanctuary, waiting for a time in the service when she wouldn’t be noticed slipping in. Unfortunately, the pastor had already begun his sermon. She stood there for a few minutes, trying to get up the courage to go in.

  She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Michelle?”

  She turned at the sound of her name spoken by a voice she felt she’d known forever—but hadn’t heard for more than two years now. “Kevin.”

  “I thought I saw you slip out,” he whispered, nodding toward the sanctuary and folding the garrison cap he held. “I probably started a dozen rumors by following you….”

  His hair was crew-cut, military-style, and he wore an army-green dress uniform. It was odd—and a little intimidating—to see him that way. And yet his smile hadn’t changed a bit in all those months. Her instinct was to hug him, but she restrained herself. “When did you get home? Are you back—for good?”

  He shook his head. “Home on leave. I go back the day after Christmas.”

  “How—how are you?” She could hardly believe she was talking to him. Had anyone in town known he’d be home?

  “I’m doing good. Drove down from Kansas City last night.”

  “Oh, that’s right. Your parents are there now, aren’t they?”

  “Yeah. They followed the grandkids. I’ve got three little nieces there and one on the way.”

  “That’s great.” Why had Kevin come back to Bristol? His two sisters had moved to the Kansas City area when they got married, and his parents followed suit once grandchildren came along. “Well…tell them all hi for me.”

  “I will.” His expression turned serious. “I wanted to talk to you, Michelle. Could you get away for lunch, maybe?”

  “Lunch?” First Rob and now Kevin. And she had no clue what either of them wanted to tell her. Though she could come closer to guessing at Kevin’s intentions by the look in his eyes. A look she hadn’t seen since he was…a mere boy. Had they really been only fifteen when they started dating? “Kevin, I—”

  “Just give me a chance, Michelle. Please. Let me explain myself.”

  She cast about, looking for…what? An escape? But he was only here for a few weeks. And he was going back to a horror she could imagine only from the dim black-and- white images that flickered on the television.

  What if he’d changed his mind about her? What if he wanted her back?

  The thought made her a little panicky. All those months when she’d prayed so desperately for a letter from him saying that he couldn’t live without her, that he’d been wrong, that he wanted her back, wanted her to wait for him…

  To her shame, she’d even fantasized that he would be wounded and shipped home—with injuries just severe enough to keep him from going back to Nam, of course.

  And now he was back. She couldn’t deny that he still had an effect on her, still stirred her blood the way he always had.

  But then there was Rob.

  Oh, Lord, why is this happening? She stopped herself. She was jumping to conclusions. She didn’t even know what Kevin wanted. For all she knew, he might be wanting to ask her for her chocolate chip cookie recipe.

  It struck her that he’d said “give me a chance to explain.” Maybe he merely wanted to apologize. He didn’t really owe her an apology, though for a long time she’d thought he did.

  She could hear Pastor Davis in the sanctuary. It sounded like he was winding up his sermon. In just a few minutes, people would spill into the foyer and she and Kevin would both be fair game for friends who hadn’t seen them in a while. Who would be surprised to see them together. “I guess we could go somewhere for lunch,” she said. “I’ll need to let my parents know.”

  He grinned, suddenly looking boyish again. “That’d be great.” His eyes cut to the crowded sanctuary. “I don’t really feel like seeing a lot of people. Could I just meet you somewhere and then we can drive to Wichita or Hutch for lunch?”

  She captured the corner of her lip with her teeth. “I have…plans for tonight, so I really can’t go too far. Would you mind eating at Milt’s?”

  He arched a brow. “They’re open on Sundays now?”

  She laughed. “Almost everything is. But you still can’t buy a beer in Bristol.”

  “Not that you ever have a hankering for beer, though, right?” He gave her a just-checking look.

  “Root beer, maybe. And that you can buy here.”

  “Whew!” He made a show of wiping his brow.

  She laughed, relieved they’d found a more comfortable place with each other. “Can you save us a booth at Milt’s?” She winked. “If you hurry, you can beat the Presbyterians.”

  “I’m on it!” He gave a sharp salute and turned on his heel. “See you there,” he called over his shoulder.

  She watched him unfold his garrison cap and place it on his head before ducking through the door.

  How different this day was turning out than what she had planned or expected.

  Kind of like her entire life as an adult.

  Chapter 32

  There were still a few parking spaces on Main Street when her parents pulled up to Milt’s to drop off Michelle. She opened the door and looked back, to see that Mom’s forehead wore deep furrows.

  “Are you sure you want to do this, honey?” she asked Michelle for the second time.

  “Mom, we’re just going to talk. He’s going back the day after Christmas.”

  “I just don’t think it’s good to go backward.”

  “Beth…” Dad reached across the bench seat and patted Mom’s knee.

  “It’s just that she was past all that, and now he’s stirred things up again.”

  She’d thought she was past all that too—until she saw Kevin. So handsome in his uniform and seeming like he’d grown up a lot over there. No longer a boy, but a man.

  “It’ll be okay.” Dad said it in a way they all knew was code for Mom to drop the subject. Dad stretched his arm across the back of the seat and turned to look at Michelle. “You call us if you need us to come and pick you up, Mish, you hear?”

  “It’s okay, Daddy. Kevin’s going to drop me off at home when we’re done…at my apartment, I mean.”

  “What about your clothes? Your makeup?” Mom was grasping at straws.

  “There’s nothing I really need. I can get my stuff next time I’m home.” She gave Allen a quick hug. “Be good up there, college boy. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

  He pushed her away. “Good grief. I’ll be home in a few days for Thanksgiving. You act like I’m the one going off to war.”

  “Allen!” Mom and Dad both said at once.

  He grinned at Michelle and slugged her hard on the bicep. “You want me to come in with you and give that loser a piece of my mind?”

  “Don’t you dare.” She slugged him back. “See ya, bud.”

  She climbed out of the car, took a deep breath, and steeled herself for another encounter with Kevin Ferris.

  * * *

  Rob ordered another Coke and folded the paper from the drinking straw accordion-style. He and Dad ate meals out so often during the week that they usually barbecued at home on Sundays after church. But his father had gotten home late from a meeting with his accountant last night and hadn’t had time to clean the grill, so they were letting Milt do the cooking today.

  Under ordinary circumstances, it would have been the perfect time to tell his father about the position he’d accepted with the Wichita Eagle—if there was such a thing as a perfect time to deliver that kind of news. But he wanted to tell Michelle first. That was important to him, since sh
e was the reason he’d sought work outside the Beacon in the first place. He didn’t want her hearing it from someone else, and he wanted to use the announcement as an excuse to “declare his intentions” to her.

  That had been Doug Jensen’s idea. “It worked with Denise,” his buddy said when Rob had told him about the job the other night after they shot hoops at the high school gym. “A woman wants to know what your intentions are toward her. You tell her you’re pursuing her, she’ll make the game interesting, while making sure you do eventually catch her. But you keep her guessing about your intentions, she may lose interest and find a guy who’s truly in the hunt.”

  Rob didn’t know why Doug suddenly fancied himself an expert on women just because he’d managed to catch one himself. But this time his friend’s logic made sense. Now if only he could find the words to convey his intentions. Doug hadn’t gotten that far before he had to go home to the wife who’d made him such an expert on love.

  “This steak isn’t half bad,” Dad said over a mouthful of top sirloin.

  “Neither is the brisket. Do you want some of my fries?”

  His father shook his head, distracted, watching something over Rob’s shoulder. “Isn’t that Michelle?”

  “Where?”

  “Right over there… In that booth.” He pointed past Rob.

  Rob turned to see Michelle sitting with her back to them in a booth on the other side of the dining room. She sat across from a good-looking soldier. She was laughing and leaning across the table. He couldn’t see Michelle’s face, but there was no mistaking the intent on the soldier’s face.

  Rob broke out in a cold sweat. What happened to “I’m going to church with my family”? Soldier Boy had to be the guy who’d dumped her to go to Nam. If he was still in uniform, that meant he wasn’t out for good. Must be home on leave for the holidays. But why had she made up some story about eating dinner with her family after church? She could have just told him she had a date.