“Honestly Edmund, sometimes I do. You aren’t giving me a chance to get to know you. I can promise you that no matter what alternate existence I was living in, I didn’t fall in love with a man who got angry every time I made an independent decision or acted without his permission. You aren’t behaving like whoever my Edmund was, and you are so afraid of losing who I was that you are suffocating who I am now. This is me Edmund. I act on my instincts. I fight when there’s a war on my people. And I will get Diana back and eliminate the shan I caused.” I said angrily. I didn’t know I was angry with Edmund until I was already raising my voice.
To my surprise, he said nothing. He wrapped his arms around me and wept. I couldn’t even hug him back. My arms were pinned to my sides and his face was buried in my hair. “I failed you. I failed Abigail, and I failed Isaac. I failed Diana twice… and I’m failing you all over again.” He said with a cracking voice. It stunned me. This big strong man who seemed ready to fight anyone who crossed him was torn apart inside. I tried to put myself in his position. He lost the people he called parents—my parents. He lost me trying to save Diana the first time they arrested her. He spent years in a cell for the crime of being born different from the norm. Now he’s lost his sister all over again, and I’m not making his life any easier by antagonizing our hostile government.
“I don’t see you as a failure.” I said earnestly.
“You’re an orphan because I couldn’t protect the whole family.” He argued.
“I’m alive because you protected me.” I noted. “I just wish my mother would’ve let me face the war as an adult instead of arranging an elaborate backup plan that left me lost and useless.” I complained.
“We didn’t want you in a camp. Any of us. The original idea was to turn you into a baby—” Edmund began. I wondered how oblivious I must have been to their plotting to protect me. I also wondered why I was the only one. Why not send me and Diana away?
“There are easier ways to get out of a marriage than amnesia and body swapping.” I teased him, forcing myself to focus on the present.
“I would’ve waited for you.” He insisted. It was flattering and bizarre. I pulled my arms free and hugged him back loosely. I looked deeply into his amber-colored eyes and noticed for maybe the first time in our recent history that he was as complicated as he was angry. Unlike David.
“Edmund?” I breathed. His eyes widened in reply. “You’re weird and intense, and David is straightforward and consistent. He’s easier for me to figure out right now, but there is nothing more than ease of communication between us. I need you to let me in. I need you to show me who you were before the war changed everything. Otherwise I’ll never remember.” I pleaded. He didn’t respond. Not verbally at least.
Edmund kissed me so softly that I couldn’t tell exactly when his lips reached mine. I felt the same buzzing sensation as when I held the magic family record book. It flooded me with the memories of what must have been a thousand kisses before this one. I wasn’t sure if I was seeing Edmund’s thoughts or regaining my memories, but the feeling of warmth and love was so strong that I held onto Edmund for balance as his kiss grew in ferocity.
I almost didn’t notice the dark purple glowing light around my fingertips, but Edmund saw it and smiled, so I didn’t give it very much thought. My mind was barraged with glimpses into our very passionate history together. Like I said before, he didn’t give the kind of kisses that ended with your clothes on.
CHAPTER 18
I woke up the next morning, tangled with Edmund in his bedroom. I couldn’t remember why I originally fell in love with Edmund or how. I couldn’t remember very much of our past at all, but I could feel my love for him now, and I could feel myself falling for him again. It wasn’t optional. It was bound to happen and meant to happen. Maybe a person’s love was prewritten, like their death.
I left the bedroom to shower and change. Westly had gone home with Matthew the night before when I was alone in Diana’s room. He left a note with explicit instructions to be told immediately if I needed any more help to get Diana back. I didn’t see any sign of David, but the family book sat on the dining table next to Diana’s wilting flowers.
Once I was clean and dressed for the day, I decided to go outside and replace Diana’s flowers. I took a knife in case I encountered any shan. Some of them seemed to avoid direct sunlight, but others could climb ceilings and devour people. I didn’t want to be caught off guard. The radio announced that the (shan) creatures had evolved into a more dangerous form, and people were demanding that the government comply with (my) demands for the release of the genetically unique citizens of the New United Regions. I smiled at that. With any luck, my dear friend Diana would be home soon, and if not… I would have to consider getting myself arrested to stage a jailbreak like no other.
I walked outside and saw David asleep on top of Connie’s blackened safe. He was currently a cat. I walked up and pet the cat only to have it wake up and hiss furiously at me. I tripped and fell backwards onto my butt in surprise and heard human David laugh uproariously behind me. “I’m not every animal you see.” He said through tears of laughter. I scowled at him as he pulled me up from the dirt. He scowled at the kitchen knife I was still holding, and I realized I it was sheer luck that I hadn’t stabbed myself when I fell back. I’d forgotten I was even holding it. I thought he might give me a lecture, but instead he just tossed it up onto the porch and smiled.
“You look happy.” He noted, amused.
“I think they will release the camp prisoners.” I explained.
“That and you finally got some.” He nodded. His meaning was unmistakable. My eyes were huge.
“I smell everything.” He reminded me shrugging.
I felt a shiver of awkward embarrassment work its way through me, and then a moment of unexpected guilt. “Edmund told me, that you once had feelings for me… and I feel like I’m missing some huge piece of the story.” I admitted watching David’s laughter slow to stop. He scrunched his face as he considered his words.
“We dated for a year.” David clarified. “You were very young… about fifteen, and I was sixteen. We were good for each other, honestly. We brought out good traits in each other. You became brave, and I was more reasonable.” He chuckled a little as memories played out in his mind. I felt a pang of jealousy at his access to our shared past.
“What happened?” I asked.
“I couldn’t control my shifts, and at first that meant that you hunted me down frequently and talked me out of whatever animal form I was stuck in and spent hours reminding me who I am. You are a master and maker of beasts, remember? Finding a mate—a proper partner—gives shifters control, but that didn’t happen. You were too young. And then one day I almost killed you in my wolf form. Edmund threw himself between us. He would have been killed if not for his healing abilities, and that was the first time they ever worked very well. He was a late bloomer in that way.” David explained. The look of remorse was devastating.
“That doesn’t explain how I wound up with Edmund.” I pointed out.
“I never went back home.” David concluded. “My shame outweighed my loyalty, and I knew your father would never forgive me.”
“What about my loyalty?” I wondered out loud.
“You have no shortage. It took you over a year to admit you had feelings for him, and from what I’ve heard, they were far and beyond what we shared.” He assured me. I still felt bad.
“I would not have been angry at you for something you couldn’t control. I know that much.” I responded.
“And that is why—” David hesitated. “That is why I owe it to you to help you however I can now.”
I don’t think that was what he wanted to say, but he didn’t steal a massive safe just to decorate the front yard with it. We dropped the conversation and got to work. I couldn’t help but wonder though, how he had flawless control of his shifting now.
***
David taught me a very interesting way to
sense the combination for the locked safe using magic. However, I eventually could have figured it out on my own. It was my birthday. Complete with the correct year. Inside the safe there were several logbooks and files containing various mundane business records and personal documents.
David and I began sorting through all of them. We sorted it all into three piles separated in milk crates labeled as useless crap, potentially useful crap, and highly interesting crapola. I was too consumed by the documents to give David the look he deserved for coming up with such riveting categories. At some point Edmund had wandered out onto the porch and taken a seat on the steps watching us. His demeanor was different now. He wasn’t watching with jealously or suspicion. In fact, there didn’t seem to be any ulterior motive. He looked peaceful.
“I could help if I knew what you were looking for.” He offered gesturing to our organized chaos.
“Uh… I told her about the missing pages in the family records.” David answered in an overly casual tone. Edmund glared at him.
“I didn’t want to get her hopes up.” He said to David sternly.
“I’m not hopeful. I’m just curious.” I assured them both. It was true. If my parents were alive, they would have come for me like Edmund did. I wanted to know why someone took the pages from the book. David began creating a fourth pile that looked like scraps beside the milk crates. I watched him curiously.
“Some of these badly burned.” David pointed out apologetically.
“I have an idea” I said excitedly. I focused on restoring the papers in the pile and reversing the fire damage. It was slow and difficult; the blackened parts began to fade and eventually we were looking at a messy pile of undamaged documents and envelopes. All except for one. David picked it up carefully and gave me a nod of approval.
“This is Abigail’s page.” He said softly. Edmund came over to us quickly.
“Why is it still messed up?” I scowled in frustration as I snatched the page.
“It came from a book that’s already changed by magic.” David answered gently. I noticed the two of them exchange an uneasy look. The page was folded so that only my mother’s name was visible at the top. I unfolded it and saw that the area for recording her death was burnt away. I fought the urge to cry angrily. I guess I did get my hopes up, and this was no answer at all.
“That means Isaac’s page is probably in all of this mess somewhere, and it won’t be damaged.” Edmund pointed out with forced hope in his voice. “We can all sit out here sorting until we find it, Nelsonora.”
“There’s no need for that.” I sniffled. I dumped the crates out and set all three piles on fire using my magic.
Edmund quickly moved to pull me back in concerned surprise. David hesitated for a moment before an understanding smirk crossed his face. I watch the piles burn into ash. It took a little longer than I expected, but then David began sifting through the ashes until he found one paper unscathed.
“You’re a crafty one.” He grinned, handing me my father’s page. My hands were shaking a little as I unfolded the page and saw my father’s name, birthdate, parental history that included an adoption, my name listed as his only child… and the blank space where his death should be recorded.
“So, where the hell is my father?” I demanded. They both looked bewildered, and on top of the house a crow cawed in that special way that sounded like mocking laughter. The sound stood out to me and filled me with the strangest feeling of utter homesickness.
CHAPTER 19
The knowledge that my father was possibly—or probably—alive somewhere was distressing. Edmund searched the country for me as soon as they released him. Even David prioritized this family even though that meant facing his own complicated history with all of us. If my father cared about any of us, he would have been here by now. Unless there was something very wrong. My mother was most certainly dead. From what I’ve heard about Abigail, there would be no stopping her from finding me if she was alive. A darkness clouded my mind as I calculated all that the war had taken away from me, and from everyone I cared about.
David and Edmund were doing their best to give me some space without being obvious. They were listening to the negotiations over the radio. In my sorrow, I had almost forgotten all about Diana’s capture and my subsequent broadcast. I couldn’t get my mind to focus on the words coming through the radio. I pulled Edmund away from the radio and into the kitchen. He didn’t protest.
“Is there any chance that Abigail is alive?” I asked quietly.
“No.” he replied solemnly. He seemed certain, and I raised an eyebrow. “I think the reason you kept some of your magic is that you were fixated on death. You were mourning your losses subconsciously.”
I could tell by the way he fixed his gaze on the floor that this theory had been brewing for quite some time. It made sense. “And I know he didn’t want kids, but how could Isaac be alive and not care enough to find me?” I asked as my voice broke. In an instant Edmund’s arms were around me and I was crying into his shirt. He kissed the top of my head fiercely and rubbed my back without his hug loosening at all.
“No, no. There is no reason to ever question that your dad loved you more than life itself. He would’ve had ten kids if it didn’t risk Abigail.” Edmund said firmly. He sounded a little choked up and surprised at my emotions.
“Then where is he?” I contended.
“Probably somewhere awful enough to contain him when he believed his wife and daughter were in danger.” Edmund said with a look of deep understanding. I sighed and felt like a giant jerk. I pulled away from him when David came rushing into the kitchen.
“They called a truce. The camps are being emptied and shut down, and the guard is instructed not to enforce any laws against what they are now calling the genetically diverse.” David exclaimed happily.
“You did it!” Edmund cried smashing me into an even tighter hug than before.
“So, Diana? She’s coming home?” I asked excitedly.
“They’re all going home.” David answered. “They’re giving us a window to eliminate the shan and earn permanent government pardon for all of us unless we commit crimes or disrupt the peace.”
“How is she supposed to manage that?” Edmund asked releasing me.
“With an army of grateful allies at her side.” David answered.
An aggressive pounding on the front door interrupted our conversation. We all went into the living room, and Edmund positioned himself in front of me so much so I couldn’t see anything when David opened the door. I could safely assume he knew what guards smelled like, so it was a good sign that he decided to let whoever it was inside.
“Oh my god.” I heard David mutter. Edmund stepped aside so I could see what was happening. Whoever it was, they obviously weren’t considered a threat by Edmund either.
A handsome blonde man who looked to be in his forties walked in carrying Diana. They were both dressed in grey sweats. The man has dark circles under his eyes and was far too thin for his size. Diana was unconscious and her unmistakable mane of fiery hair was spilling over his arm. He lay her down on the couch and looked at Edmund sharply.
“Is Abigail here?” He demanded. “She needs help right away.” He added with a sharp nod to Diana. His piercingly blue eyes reveled that he was obviously anxious about her.
“What did they do to her this time?” Edmund asked. He was shaking with anger.
“They cured her.” The man said with a hoarse voice. “Where is Abigail?” he asked again sharply.
“She’s dead.” I answered. “But maybe I can help.”
For the first time, the man’s eyes settled on me, and his eyes filled with tears. Without breaking his intense gaze away from me, he asked, “Edmund, why doesn’t my daughter recognize me?” and I felt an ice-cold tingle work its way down my spine.
“She couldn’t remember any of us. Abigail’s coven had explicit instructions to make sure she seemed too young for a camp.” Edmund answered.
“I-Isaac?�
�� I stammered.
“Yes, honey.” He said warmly.
“Where the hell have you been?” I fumed.
Diana moaned and brought us all to our senses. There was no time for family drama. I sent all the men outside and looked at Diana. All of Diana. I didn’t see any wounds or signs of trauma beneath her clothing. Her arms, legs, back, and face were covered in bruises, but nothing bad enough to require anything more than time and rest to heal.
“What did they do to you?” I asked.
“Not them. Once the others realized they were curing us upon release, a bunch of shifters rushed the door in animal forms, and it was madness. I was still healing when they cured me and threw me outside. Isaac knew I was there…” She trailed off from shortness of breath.
“How did he know? Why was he there?” I asked after a moment. I was trying to be patient. She was out of it…but she was awake for now.
“He’s been there since they raided Tavern Falls. And shifters smell familiar people like dogs can, but better.” She said through careful breaths. I felt bad for my first reaction to my father. I wasn’t sure where my anger was coming from exactly. I could hear Edmund speaking in a hushed, urgent tone outside. I called out that they could come back. David quickly handed me my mother’s book open to a page that looked like medical procedures in crude drawings.
“Do you need me to translate?” Isaac asked quietly. I nodded. I think he was sad to see how little I knew.
After an awkward half hour of Isaac reading, David coaching, and Edmund pacing the living room like a caged lion, I was able to determine that Diana didn’t have any injuries severe enough to kill her. I also put her into a deep sleep for six hours so she could recover without pain. I could repeat that as many times as necessary, but she would need to hydrate, eat, and use a toilet after six hours. Once I was certain I’d done everything I could for her, I stood up and felt the room move as if I was standing on a boat. It was anyone’s guess whether Edmund or Isaac reached me first.
The Curious Fate of Nelsonora (Fractured Universe Series Book 1) Page 9
