Before we could answer Dwayne let out a sound so shrill I slapped my hands over my ears. The ground shifted beneath us and the six Dragons in the front sprinted towards my BFF in an effort to stop the noise. Bad move… or more accurately, last move.
Dwayne's voice rose to a pitch so high it shattered all the windows on the entire back of the mansion. Shards and chunks of glass rained down on us, glittering like deadly confetti in the mid-morning sun. The six Dragons closest to him inflated like ticks. The screaming was horrifying but I couldn't turn away. It was akin to watching the most ridiculous and gory horror flick ever imagined. Their skin turned a mottled purple and they blew up like bombs.
Guts and body parts flew like projectiles as we ducked and covered. The Cows forced Hank and I beneath them and took the brunt of the disgusting mess. My gag reflex kicked in with a vengeance and I was grateful my stomach was empty. Green gooey bile floated on top of the water in the pool and we were all covered in unidentifiable remains.
Dwayne and Granny had collapsed to the ground. The other four Cows surrounding them covered their passed out bodies. There were six Dragons left and they were pissed. They stood drenched in the goop that used to be their brothers. The shock had numbed them and they stood with mouths agape and eyes flaming. Tendrils of smoke wafted from each of their noses and dangerous fangs ripped from their gums.
"We have about thirty seconds before those psychos shift and cook us," I grunted as I pushed Francis and Pat off of me and went for my squirt gun. "Shoot. Now," I shouted as I aimed and fired into the open mouths of the Dragons.
It was either the shock of the catastrophe we had just witnessed or the bovines had bigger balls than I had thought. Without any prodding, pun intended… the Cows jumped to their feet and fired the solution directly into the kissers of the Dragons. Their aim was so accurate I paused to appreciate it. The gals could shoot—possibly better than me. In that glorious moment I decided to cut a deal with the girls. I would teach them how to flirt and they would give me their shooting secrets. My end of the bargain was probably impossible, but I would give it my all.
"Take that, you mother humper," Pat shrieked as she shot the disgusting fluid at the Dragons.
As we hit our bulls-eyes the Dragons coughed and gagged.
"What have you done?" a Dragon screamed as he spit the vile liquid from his mouth.
"I can't shift," another growled in fury as his arms flew wildly over his head.
The confusion and slippery debris had turned the monster movie into a macabre comedy as the Dragons collided into each other in their efforts to get to us and kill. Thankfully the battle would be in human form. I loved Junior so much at that moment it made my teeth hurt.
"You ready, baby?" Hank yelled over the chaos.
Sparks of color I'd never seen from him rolled off his huge frame. His power was massive and the Dragons took notice immediately. For a brief moment Hank even frightened me. He was like an avenging angel from Hell, but he was my angel, and I was going to fight right beside him.
"I'm ready."
I quickly glanced to my left to see if Dwayne and Granny would be available for back up. They were slowly rising to their feet with help from the Cows. They were disoriented and unstable on their feet. Hank and I were on our own.
"It's just you and me," I told him as I rolled my neck and prepared to rip off some Dragon head.
The enormous burst of green and yellow smoke took me by surprise. I couldn't even see my hand in front of me. I closed my eyes and tried to go by scent, but it was impossible—too many odors permeated the air. How the hell could we fight blind? More importantly, could the Dragons fight blind?
I reached for Hank but he was gone. My gut clenched and I dropped to the ground to see if the smoke was rising. If I could find feet I could find a Dragon. The whimpering of the Cows made me stop. They were going to be filet mignon for the enemy if they didn't shut up.
"Quiet," I hissed as I felt for them. "Don't lead them to us."
It seemed like an eternity, but it couldn't have been more than a minute or two before the smoke began to clear. I spotted Hank by the pool crouched low. Granny and Dwayne were huddled with their Cows and I was with the remaining girls. However, the Dragons were gone.
"Where in the hell did they go?" I got to my feet and cautiously walked toward Hank.
Could they render themselves invisible? Had the solution failed? Did they shift and fly to the roof?
"They're gone," Harley said as she sniffed the air. "I was really hoping to fart off those bastards."
"Are you sure?" Hank asked tersely as he scanned the area.
"Yes siree, they're gone," Pat added. "I really wanted to pinch a stinky off and aim at one of them bastard's mouths."
"Actually," I said with an inappropriate laugh as I tried to wipe some goop off, "I'm sorry you didn't get to do that too."
"Next time," Pat grunted. "Next time I'm gonna singe every hair on one of them goobers right off. Then when they're screaming I'm gonna drop a load on their head."
"Alrighty then," I gagged out, knowing the visual would stick. "We need to clean this mess up and… "
The growl from the far side of the pool halted my speech. The Dragons were gone, but the rabid looking Wolves were not. So much for getting out injury free…
"Shift," Hank shouted at the Wolves, who ignored him and paced in agitation.
"Were they with the Dragons or are they here on their own?" I asked Hank as I stood with him and stared at the Wolves on the far side of the pool.
"I believe they came with them, but they certainly weren't on their team," he said quietly.
"Doesn't look like they're on our team either," I mumbled as unease skittered up my spine.
"Nope, I'd have to agree with you." Hank spoke, but his gaze stayed trained on the Wolves.
"Why won't they shift?" Dwayne asked as he fell into line with us.
He and Granny looked pretty bad, but at least they were standing.
"I didn't think you could mind meld six Dragons," I said as I kept watch on the Wolves.
"I can't," he said. "It was Granny pouring power into me."
"That is some farked up stuff you have in your blood, Vampyre," Granny grunted as she shook her head and chuckled. "I feel like I did after twelve hours straight of shopping on Black Friday last year."
“Sorry, doll," Dwayne said as he ruffled her hair. "But thank you."
"You're welcome, bloodsucker. You've become the undead grandson I never knew I wanted."
"Oh my Donna Summer," Dwayne babbled as he hugged her tight. "As shittastic as this day is going, I'd repeat the whole damn thing to hear you say those words again."
"I love you, you high maintenance undead girly boy," she said affectionately.
"I love you too. I love you so very much," Dwayne replied so sweetly my eyes filled.
"Love-fest over?" Hank asked in a clipped tone.
"Yep," Granny said. "Those Wolves are trapped. Heard about this but never believed it."
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"If you stay in wolf form for too long without shifting back there comes a time you can't anymore," she explained. "The red eyes and the foaming at the mouth are the giveaways."
"That's a myth." Hank ran his hands through his hair and then groaned in disgust as they came out covered in guts. "I need a shower," he muttered.
Amazingly, he still looked hotter than Hades. I needed my head examined.
"I always thought so too, but not anymore," she said sadly.
"Why would a Wolf not shift back? It makes no sense," I said as I watched their frustration grow. They were now snapping and the aggressive growls came from deep in their chests. We'd gotten off easy with the Dragons. I wasn't so sure about the Wolves.
"Has to be some dark magic at work here," Dwayne surmised as he surveyed the pack. "I have a difficult time believing a Wolf would give up shifting voluntarily."
"Did the Dragons make them?" I asked.
<
br /> "Don't think so," Hank replied with a shrug. "I'd guess Witches are involved here."
"Might be why they didn't defend the Dragons." Granny sighed, hopped up and down and did a few jumping jacks. "Gotta get the blood flowing if I'm gonna take out some of my own no matter how screwed up they are," she told us as we watched her curiously.
"Do we have to kill them?" I really didn't want to. If they'd been forced by dark Witch magic to stay shifted to Wolf form for eternity, it felt wrong for them to die by the hand of their own species.
"That's up to them," Hank said tightly. "Entirely up to them."
Chapter 11
"If you can shift, do it now," Hank yelled to the Wolves as we waited.
They took him in as if they understood, but didn't shift. If anything they got more agitated and angry. I debated shifting myself, but wanted to wait to see what they would do. I could shift in a second if need be. Glancing down at my claws, I realized I was partially shifted anyway.
"Send the Cows away," Granny said softly. "There's nothing they can do here."
"Will the solution help?" Lee asked as she held her squirt gun at the ready.
"No," I told her. "It stops a shift from happening. They're already shifted."
"How about a flaming butt bomb?" Morgan inquired hopefully.
"Wait a minute," I said, confused and completely grossed out. "You can blow a flaming fart?"
"Yep," Jamie chimed in proudly. "It burns like Hell in July, but it can be done. All we gotta do is put our right leg in front of our left about three inches apart, bend over, grunt real loud and then rap."
"I thought it was the left," Pat said with pursed lips.
"Nope. Right," Francis informed her. "We also need to visualize jalapeno peppers and an assload of wasabi."
"No pun intended," I mumbled.
"What?" Francis asked, bewildered.
"Nothing," I said.
"It helps too if we're completely nekkid," Harley stated as she began to remove her shirt.
Sweet hell, this was getting out of hand.
"Just your pants, Harley," Terry chided as she dropped trou.
"You girls can rap?" Dwayne asked as his daughters removed their pants.
"We sure as heck can," Francis said with pride as she began to beat box to a rhythm in her head that should have stayed there.
"Stop," Hank commanded as he tried desperately to avoid seeing the half-clad Cows while still watching the Wolves. "I'm not real sure where it's safe to look right now, but the Cows have to go. Gas will not kill the Wolves, it will just infuriate them and we don't need them more agitated."
"I agree," I said as I handed Francis her pants, keeping my eyes on her face. "Go in the house and lock it down. If any of the staff survived the Dragons tend to them. Do not come out here—no matter what happens."
"But," Francis started to protest.
"No buts… pun intended." I grinned at my own joke and halted any other suggestion which required smelly bodily functions before she could offer it. "Hank, do you still have the burner phone?"
He handed it to me quickly. "Good thinking. Junior is speed dial one," he muttered.
Hank was wound as tight as a drum and staccato sparks of magic bounced in the air around him.
"If we die out here you will call a man named Junior. Explain what happened and he will come for you," I told them.
"Will he think we harmed you?" Pat asked, ashen-faced.
"No," Hank promised the terrified Cows. "He already knows about you. He will protect you the same as we would."
"We just got our new daddy," Lee sniffled as she grabbed Dwayne's hand and help on tight. "I don't want to lose him."
"Your daddy's not going anywhere," I assured his frightened daughters. "He's a wedding consultant, a semi-famous drag queen, and he owns a Hummer which enables him to use the word freely without repercussion. Now he has a family. His life is practically perfect. You just get your overactive butts into the house. Go—or I will kick them into next year."
"Yes, ma’am," they all mumbled as they hauled tail to the house.
"I love my girls," Dwayne said as he heaved a huge dramatic sigh.
"Dude, what are you doing? You don't breathe," I pointed out.
"True," he agreed. "I just thought I would try something new in case we bite it out here. It's kind of fun."
"Can you mind meld again?" I asked, feeling ill that I was even considering blowing up some of my own kind.
"Doubtful," Dwayne said with a regretful shake of his head. "The last effort took it out of me."
"Me too," Granny added with a shudder.
The Wolves had not advanced yet and it was unnerving. What did they want?
"We don't want to harm you," Hank called to them. "I'm going to shift so we can communicate. It's not an act of aggression."
"Are you certain that's the best thing to do?" I asked him, worried. "You can't shoot if you shift."
"No, but you can," he said as he removed his clothes. "You got silver bullets in your gun?"
"Of course," I replied as I very inappropriately admired his beautiful muscular body. Even pending death didn't mute my attraction to him.
"Shoot for the brain to slow them and then go for the heart. Shift only if you have to heal yourself or if you run out of bullets," he instructed as he fluidly shifted to his Wolf.
I grabbed his guns and strapped them on. I had enough ammo on me to take out a small army. Hopefully I wouldn't have to use it.
"Granny and Dwayne, you ready?"
"I am," Granny said as she pulled her weapons and stood tall.
"Dwayne is always ready," my Vampyre BFF informed me cockily.
"You enjoy talking about yourself in third person." I pointed out with an eye roll.
"Yes," he agreed. "Yes, I do."
The Wolves seemed displeased Hank had shifted. The growling increased and my stomach roiled. This did not look good.
"We mean you no harm," Hank told the Wolves. "We would like to help you if we can."
Hank's Wolf shook his head and tried again. Thankfully Dwayne and I could communicate with Hank even though we couldn't hear the Wolves. Granny was the only one we'd have to interpret for.
"We mean no harm. What do you want?"
The Wolves gathered close to each other and bared their fangs as they howled and pawed at the ground.
"What did they say?" I asked Hank.
"It's garbled—almost as if they're speaking another language."
"Make sense. They've probably created their own language," Dwayne said with an impressed nod. "Enables them to speak without any other Wolf understanding."
"Brilliant," Granny whispered as she watched the Wolves with an odd and unsettling expression.
"What's wrong, Granny?" I asked. Why in the hell was she staring like that?
"Hank, tell then I'm coming over," Granny said, ignoring me as she began to walk around the pool. "I need to see something."
"No," I shouted at her. "You can see fine right here."
"Tell her to stay put," Hank demanded as he growled furiously. "What in the hell is she doing?"
"Granny, stop. Now," I yelled. "You're going to get killed."
"I have to see," she said desperately as she increased her pace.
"Oh my God," I gasped as I went to follow her.
"No," Dwayne bellowed as he levitated and began to glow. "Cover her with the gun. I'm going over. She's lost her ever lovin' mind and I am going to whale on her ass after this is over."
"Stay here, Essie," Hank barked. "Dwayne is right. Get ready to shoot. I'm going around the other side."
I'd never been so frustrated, scared and pissed off in my life. If Granny didn't die by stupidity in the next five minutes I was going to kill her dead myself. She was putting us all in grave danger by going in alone. Nine to four were horrific odds. Granny had been a WTF agent; she should know better than making the first move. It was a weak position and we couldn't afford it.
"Essie, st
op thinking and aim," Hank snapped in my head. "I have no clue what Granny is doing, but it's done. Focus and forget she's your granny. Use your training and go for the kill."
He was right. I pushed my personal feelings and anger back, narrowed my gaze and kept my gun aimed about a foot in front of Granny as she moved. I prayed I could hit whatever came at her. Please don't let them all come at her at once.
Some Were In Time Page 12
