Asher wound around the tables, leaving Kenny with the broad-shouldered Danny. Danny watched him suspiciously. Once, Danny had been like a friend too, always right alongside them, protecting them. But the coldness Kenny had expected in Asher was evident in his agent’s eyes.
Asher returned only a moment later. “Becks and Nicky will come when they can.”
Great, Kenny thought to himself. Just what I need. Even all the way in Washington, he couldn’t get away from those two.
Asher waved him forward. The president lifted her eyes to them as they made their way to the front doors. Her disappointment was evident on her face, but so was her resignation. She wouldn’t stop her son.
Kenny made a cursory glance, making sure his father didn’t spot him. Finding him nowhere, he followed Asher into the hall.
“You bring a coat?” Asher asked.
Kenny shook his head. He’d only worn his suit jacket. “Where are we going?” He hadn’t really needed to ask. As soon as Asher asked about a coat, he knew. Asher had lived in the White House since he was seven years old and his father won the presidency. His parents became the first couple to hold the office back to back.
Kenny spent a lot of time roaming the storied halls, but there’d been one place the boys loved more than any other.
Asher shot him a wink and picked up speed. Secret service agents paid them no mind as they slipped into the West Wing, crossing the expansive line of offices before pushing open the door to the outside.
On the southern side of the West Wing sat the White House pool surrounded by rows of trees screening it from view. Cabanas lined the concrete all the way to the pool house.
“Little cold for a swim,” Danny remarked.
Asher ignored him as he entered the pool house, returning with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. “Better than champagne. My mom keeps a stash in the pool house.”
Kenny stared at him, seeing how different he was from the boy he used to be. “You’re telling me the president comes out to the pool to drink in secret?”
A smile cracked Asher’s lips. “It’s not how it sounds. There’s no privacy in the White House. Even in the residence, we have people constantly around. My parents come here to get some time together without everyone constantly watching them.”
Already buzzed from the champagne, Kenny dropped onto a chair in one of the cabanas, stretching his legs out in front of him. He’d always liked the president despite his mother’s feelings about the “liberal witch” as she called her.
Asher sat next to him while Danny gave them space.
Taking the shot of whiskey Asher held out for him, Kenny studied the dark liquid as if it held all the answers he needed. He threw it back, letting the liquid burn his throat. Despite appearances, Kenny wasn’t much of a drinker. Most of his weekends were taken up by training, and he’d been so focused on his game for the past few years, he’d forgotten to have any sort of fun.
Not that he would call sitting with his ex-friend fun. Awkward silence settled over them until Asher coughed and sputtered as he took a shot. He pounded on his chest, trying to breathe.
Kenny couldn’t help but laugh. “You okay over there?”
“No,” Asher wheezed, shaking his head. “I’m not much of a drinker.”
“Then what are we doing out here?”
“I don’t know.” He leaned his head back on the chair. “We don’t do this, Ken. We don’t talk.”
“I know.”
“But you’re the one here.” He sighed. “Half the people at my own birthday party think I’m some scourge on this country. And the other half think I’m an idol, someone to look up to because I’m just so damn brave.”
Kenny didn’t know what to say to that. He hadn’t spent much time around Asher in recent years, but he’d followed him in the news, and yes, he’d idolized him. But the tired look in Asher’s eyes told him that wasn’t something he should admit. As the president’s son, he was under intense scrutiny, yet he lived his life openly, never apologizing for who he was.
Kenny envied that in him. “You must hate me.”
Asher met his gaze. “I do. I really do.”
Bending forward, Kenny rested his arms on his knees and averted his eyes, not wanting to show Asher just how much that affected him. At the same time, he wanted the hatred, needed it. It made sense to him.
Asher blew out a breath. “You have done some pretty awful things. It hurt when you abandoned me when I told the world I was gay. It was okay, though, because I realized you were just an asshole and I didn’t need you in my life. But Nicky? Tonight, I saw your mother try to break one of my friends—a guy who was only in that position because of some stupid picture I don’t even want to ask you about.”
He ran a hand over his hair as the silver light from the moon caught in his shining eyes. “You didn’t do anything, Ken. I saw the look on your face. I know there’s something more going on, but I refuse to believe Nicky attacked you like your parents claim. Contrary to popular belief, us penis-loving men don’t go around preying on straight dudes.”
“Why aren’t you yelling?” Kenny reached for the whiskey and poured himself another shot.
“What?”
“Yell at me. Rant about how I’m some bigoted asshole, no different from my mother. Go on. You know you want to.”
“Would that make you feel better, Kenny?”
“Yes.”
Asher got to his feet. “I’m not in the business of making you feel better.” He walked out from under the cabana, stopping at the edge of the pool.
Kenny took another shot before following him, just hoping it stopped the disgust swirling inside him. Not disgust for Asher or anyone else. Disgust for the man he was becoming.
“Get mad,” Kenny yelled. “Why aren’t you more mad?” He stopped a few paces away, the whiskey emboldening him.
“No. I wish you had the balls to stand up to your parents, but they have controlled every aspect of your life. I know them, remember? And I used to know you. In a weird way, I understand why you do the things you do.”
“I don’t want you to understand. I don’t deserve it.”
“No. You don’t.”
“Then punch me. Please.”
“No.”
Anger rose in Kenny, and he didn’t know what he was doing until he’d closed the space between them and lunged for Asher, shoving him toward the dark water.
Kenny hit the heated water seconds after Asher. His slacks dragged him down. He kicked his legs as hard as he could to breach the surface and found Asher near the far wall, sputtering and choking out water.
“You’re an ass.” Asher shook sopping hair out of his eyes.
The water doused the flames of Kenny’s anger. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
“You think?”
“I just don’t understand how you can even look at me or be around me. I’m kind of awful.”
Asher sighed. “You’re not awful. We both live in this world of politics where you have to take a side on everything. There’s very little room for the shades of gray between positions.”
Kenny wiped water from his eyes and kicked across the pool toward Asher. “You sound like such a politician.”
“In a way, I am. As the president’s son, I can’t ever say the wrong thing.”
“I know how that is.” Kenny reached for the pool edge and hung on, facing Asher. “Don’t you ever just wish you could say what you really think?”
“Sometimes, but I don’t know what I really think.”
“Me either.” Kenny studied his old friend in the dark. The years had changed him, that was for sure. Gone was the gangly kid with skinny legs and buzzed hair. He’d let his natural, curly hair grow out into what some people would call an Afro, but that didn’t seem like the right term. He was still kind of skinny, lacking the muscles Kenny developed through his hockey training, but it suited him.
Intelligent eyes met Kenny’s. He’d met few people in his life wh
o were as smart as Asher. Not book smart. More like life smart.
“I’m not brave like you, Ash.” He dropped his voice. What would Asher do if Kenny admitted to him that he’d dated Nicky for two years in secret before their infamous kiss got out? Instead of voicing the truths he feared, Kenny went another direction. “My parents… I don’t know how to stand up to them.”
“One moment at a time. One word, one action. Then you move onto the next. If you don’t want to be this guy, then don’t. Break their control or you’ll always be ashamed of yourself.”
“I never said I was ashamed.”
“Aren’t you? You can’t tell me while you stood there frozen that you didn’t want to tell your mother just what you thought of her.”
“Do you think Nicky is okay?”
Asher nodded. “He has Becks. Those two are—”
“Disgustingly cute.”
“Yeah.” Asher grinned, and the act lit up his entire face. “They really are. They’re so sweet together it makes me want to puke.”
“Yet you invited them to your party. I was surprised. I didn’t even know you kept in touch with them.”
“How well do you know them?” The question touched on dangerous territory.
“The three of us grew up in the same town.”
Asher nodded as if that was the only explanation he needed. “I guess I knew that. You and Nicky are friends or used to be? You don’t have to tell me.” He peeled his suit coat down his arms and flung the soaked jacket onto the concrete apron. “You could have at least let me take that off before throwing me into the pool. You’re lucky it’s heated, because if I froze to death, I’d haunt your ass.”
“You weren’t going to freeze. Do you know how many stories there are of first ladies swimming every day, even in winter?”
Asher lowered his gaze to Kenny’s, ignoring his useless fact. “I wasn’t kidding, you know.”
“About what?”
“You need to break your parents’ control. Be your own man, Ken.”
Kenny hadn’t realized how close they’d gotten until the steam from their breath mingled between them. Asher didn’t even seem to notice as he kept on talking.
“You aren’t this guy. The one who fights to take people’s freedoms away or lets hatred guide what he does.”
Asher didn’t know Kenny anymore. He didn’t see the man he’d become. In the two years of dating Nicky, Kenny treated him like something to be embarrassed about. He’d broken his heart in the end and then tried to get him back once it was clear he’d moved on.
Who does that?
“I used to think I knew you.” Steam rose around them, curling in the cold air.
Kenny dipped his head back, needing to let the water warm his freezing hair. When he tilted his face back down to look at Asher, his old friend watched him closely.
“You did know me.” Kenny edged closer.
“Why did you abandon me when I came out?” The vulnerability in his voice caused Kenny’s heart to squeeze. He hadn’t realized just how hurt Asher was by his actions. “After the news broke, I tried getting in touch with you. My parents used to tell me you just had to get used to the new version of me. But I wasn’t a new version, Ken. I was the same kid I’d always been.”
“I was scared.” Kenny swallowed heavily.
“Of what? That you’d be gay by association? That I had some kind of disease that would rub off on you?” Tears sprang to his eyes.
When Kenny didn’t respond, Asher backed up. “What were you scared of, Kenny?”
Maybe it was the alcohol making him brave. Or maybe he was just so damn tired of not having what he wanted. He inched forward along the wall.
“What are you doing?” Asher asked, his voice shaking.
“Breaking my parents' control.” Kenny reached out, wrapping his hand around the back of Asher’s head.
Kenny had kissed boys many times before. He used to love kissing Nicky for hours. Acting on his desires wasn’t anything new to him. But this wasn’t just any boy. It was Asher, and he deserved so much better than the guy who’d crushed him.
Yet, in that moment, Kenny didn’t care. He fit his cold lips over Asher’s, waiting for him to respond.
But that moment never came. Asher’s body went rigid in Kenny’s arms, and his lips clamped shut.
“Kenny.” Asher said his name on a breath, pushing him away just far enough so a sliver of space stood between them. His eyes flicked between Kenny’s. “That’s not what I meant when I said you had to break your parents’ control.”
Kenny pushed away from him, swimming toward the opposite ledge. He was an idiot. For once, he’d let himself act on something he wanted. Asher was right there in front of him, looking way too good with his wet hair hanging around his face and silver light reflecting in his amber eyes.
And Asher thought it was an act, a ploy to piss off his father.
“Kenny,” Asher called after him. “Why would you do that if not for your father?”
“You know what, Ash? I don’t know.” He hauled himself out of the pool. “Must have just been a stupid impulse. Forget about it, okay?”
Asher was quiet for a moment. “Ken…”
“I said forget about it.”
“Yeah. Okay.”
Danny appeared at the edge of the trees looking frazzled. “Asher, your friends are harassing me to let them back here.”
“Who is it?” Asher, refusing to look at Kenny, focused on his secret service agent instead.
“Beckett and Nicky.”
An indulgent smile spread across Asher’s face and Kenny wished he was the one who’d put it there. “Let them in.”
“Thank God.” Danny rubbed his chin. “If I have to listen to Beckett chatter on about nonsense for one more moment…” He grumbled to himself and turned to walk back where he’d left them.
Kenny walked into the pool house to retrieve a towel. After wringing out the bottom of his shirt, he wrapped it around himself, trying to still his shivering as a gust of chilly air struck him.
Becks sauntered toward the pool like he owned the place. “We swimming? Hell yeah.” He threw his suit coat on the ground, before taking a running start, and leaped into the air, ending in an epic belly flop.
“Ouch.” Nicky laughed as he watched his boyfriend surface and shake off the pain. He turned to Kenny, scanning his wet clothes.
All Kenny wanted to do was leave the White House and forget about the night entirely. But Nicky’s gaze held him in place. There was a time where he’d have done anything to pull Nicky into a closet or a back room and kiss the smirk from his lips.
But now, he shrank under the scrutiny.
Nicky rubbed his eyes as if not believing the next words out of his own mouth. “You must be freezing. Take off your shirt, and I’ll give you my jacket.”
“You’ll give me your jacket?”
“Just do it, Kenny.”
He unbuttoned his dress shirt and slid it from his shoulders before taking Nicky’s offered coat. It fit him tight across the shoulders but started providing his body with some of the heat it had lost.
“For what it’s worth,” Kenny began, looking to the stars overhead. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not worth very much.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, he lowered his gaze to his probably-ruined shoes. “I know.”
“But I’ll take it.”
“What?” Their gazes connected, and Kenny saw the kid he’d known, the one he hadn’t let himself love.
“We both know what happened with that kiss. I didn’t attack you. You kissed me. We also both know that you were a confused asshole the entire time we dated. But…you didn’t ask for the media attention that surrounded me at the time. If I hadn’t been the paparazzi’s favorite punching bag because of my relationship with Becks, you’d never have been dragged into the mess. No one should be outed against their will. I don’t hold it against you that you can’t tell your parents yet.”
H
e shrugged. “It’s your story to tell, Ken. No one else’s. But you’ve got to stop being an ass.”
“I know.”
“Does Asher know? The truth, I mean.”
Kenny sighed but said nothing.
“I’ll take that as a no. Just…if you’re going to be friends with him, be careful.”
“I’m not friends with him.” Not anymore, at least. One night didn’t change years of separation.
“Okay. That’s your choice too. But when Becks was struggling, Ash was there for him. He’s probably the best kind of friend to have. I know what you’re going to say, though. You don’t need anyone. Kenny Montgomery never has.”
Kenny shrugged. “I can’t change who I am.”
“No.” He gave him a pointed look. “You can’t. But you can change how you feel about who you are.” Putting a hand on Kenny’s shoulder, Nicky turned his attention to the pool where Becks and Asher had started wrestling, dragging each other under the water. “Excuse me. I have to go make sure my boyfriend doesn’t kill the president’s son.” He shot him a smile before canon-balling into the water.
Kenny gave them all one final look before walking past Danny and crossing the south lawn. He nodded to secret service agents once he reached the back entrance into the West Wing. A middle-aged woman stopped him and insisted on escorting him back to the party. He agreed, knowing he wasn’t supposed to wander the White House on his own.
As soon as he stepped into the ballroom, his father rushed toward him, red creeping up his neck. “Where have you been, Kenneth?”
What could he say? Drinking with the president’s son? Trying to kiss a boy who didn’t want to kiss him back?
“You’re soaking wet.” His mother joined them and guided him from the room, away from the curious glances burning into them.
“I fell in the pool.” Kenny shrugged.
His father leaned in. “Have you been drinking? Your breath reeks of whiskey.”
Once again, he only shrugged.
His mother wrapped a tight grip around his arm. “Where is your shirt, Kenneth? We’re leaving. You’re an embarrassment.”
His dad, never one to take Kenny’s side over his mom’s, nodded. “My colleagues asked about you, but you’d disappeared. And you show back up dripping wet and smelling of booze.”
Dating Washington (Discovering Me #2) Page 6
