“I want to know what happened, honey.” Dad circles his arm around my shoulder.
“And I want to tell you.” I will have to be circumspect. To hide Adam and Sam’s part in all this because Adam isn’t ready to admit our relationship to him, and Sam is virtually afraid of his own shadow. “We need to be sitting,” I explain, dropping onto the couch again. “And you need to prepare yourself because some of this will be hard to hear.”
* * *
A couple of blissful weeks pass, and it’s incredible how much my mood has improved now Wes is no longer lurking around campus, waiting to pounce. Of course, I also feel considerably lighter after unburdening to Dad. He doesn’t know all of it, and I haven’t plucked up the courage to tell either him or Adam what happened that awful night when I was fifteen, but it’s one step at a time.
Right now, I’m celebrating the positive turn my life has taken lately. Dad’s newfound support has done wonders to ease the constant ache in my chest. Being sober and drug-free for one month is something I never thought I’d achieve or feel proud of, but I have and I am. And having an incredible guy by my side is the icing on the cake. While Adam and I continue to sneak around behind Dad’s back, something I’m growing increasingly unhappy about, I can’t deny how deliriously happy he makes me.
“Penny for your thoughts, babe.” Adam tucks me in tighter under his arm as we walk away from the restaurant, waving one last time at Rachel and Carter as they head in the opposite direction.
We’d settled on a hole in the wall Mexican place miles from campus just to ensure we wouldn’t be seen.
“I’m just reflecting on how great my life is right now.” It’s not perfect. Not by a long shot, but I’ve made great strides, and it feels good. Feels epic. The only downside is that I’m drifting apart from Zach and Scar. Just like she predicted. But I’m not strong enough to go out with them when Molly is around. And I don’t want to test my limits just yet.
“Ditto, babe.” He stops, pushing me up against the nearest wall, caging me in with his big arms. Leaning down, he presses his hot lips to that sensitive spot just under my ear, and delicious shivers ripple along my skin. “And that’s all thanks to you.” He captures my lips in a feather-soft kiss, and I melt against him.
I caress his cheek. “You make me very happy, Adam.” I peer into his beautiful emerald eyes. “More than I ever thought it was possible to feel with a guy.”
He lowers his hands to my hips, tugging me in close. “I love how in sync we are with everything, because I feel the same way, Em.” He worries his lower lip between his teeth for a second before adding, “And I think it’s time we told your father about us.”
I smother a gasp. “Really?”
He bundles me into his arms. “I’m serious about you, Emily. More serious than I’ve ever been with any girl.” He presses his chin to the top of my head as I rest my face on his broad chest. His arms tighten around me. “I want to hold on to you forever, Emily. I’m in this for the long haul, and I can’t promise you that and keep expecting you to lie to your father.” He tips my chin up with one finger. “It’s time to man up and fess up. Even though I’m fucking terrified of his reaction.”
I press my body closer to his, smiling at him. “He’ll probably throw a hissy fit at first. Say you’re not good enough for his little girl, blah, blah.” His face leaches of color, and I giggle. “But he’ll be cool with it because he’s making a huge effort to repair our relationship and he’s already told me he wants me healthy and happy. I’m both of those things, thanks to you.”
I stretch up and kiss his gorgeous mouth. “And I’m in this for the long run too, Adam.” My cheeks heat as I prepare to open myself up to him. “I’ve never considered too far into the future, because I never truly believed I had one worth daydreaming over. But then I met you, and now I see endless possibilities.”
His lips slam onto mine, and his kisses are fiercely passionate and brimming with emotion. My heart swells to bursting point, and I know what I’m feeling is true love. I know we’re still in the honeymoon stage, and all this creeping around adds a layer of excitement, but I know what’s in my heart.
I’m in love with Adam Miller.
I love him with every part of me.
Enough to want to be a better version of myself because he deserves the absolute best.
“I want so many things with you, Em,” he rasps over my mouth. “And I see endless possibilities too.” He places his forehead to mine, peering deep into my eyes. His gaze burns a hole in mine. “The road ahead may be rocky, but I feel like I can achieve anything as long as I have you by my side.”
Intense emotion lands on my chest, and I’m so happy I could scream.
“I love you, Emily Parker,” he adds, admitting it in words for the first time. “And I want the whole world to know.”
I peck his lips, swiping at a few errant tears creeping out of the corners of my eyes. “I love you too, Adam. But I think we should start with my dad first.”
His mouth curves up at the corners. “Sounds like a plan.” He tucks me under his arm again, steering me toward the parking lot, dusting my face with kisses the whole time, and I’m floating on cloud nine.
* * *
I’ve still got a massive grin on my face the following night as I leave the library after a tutoring session. I’m practically skipping along the sidewalk, high on the wings of love. I snicker to myself. My inner thoughts have been corny as fuck all day, but I couldn’t give two shits. I’m in love, and it’s the best feeling in the world.
Even the fact I won’t see Adam this weekend doesn’t dampen my mood too much. Because I know we’re having dinner with Dad Monday night to tell him about our relationship, and after that, I will be stuck to Adam like glue. I didn’t bother extending the dinner invite to Mom because she wouldn’t come and she wouldn’t approve of Adam. He’s not a rich prick from an asshole family, so she won’t want to know him.
Mom’s like a bear with a sore head since Wes got arrested. Girls are coming out of the woodwork in droves, and it’s clear Wes and his crew won’t be buying their way out of this mess anytime soon.
I love it when karma delivers by the bucketload.
Although, I’m not happy so many girls suffered at his hands.
At least he’s been stopped now.
While the university has come under attack, it still doesn’t fully explain Mom’s mood. We have barely seen her, and anytime she is home, she’s snapping and snarking and lashing out.
Dad and I are like our own little island, distancing ourselves from Carole and her drama, a little bit more by the day.
I’m lost in my own little bubble as I walk, and before I know it, I’m at our house. A strange sleek, black sedan is parked at the curb. An ominous sense of foreboding sweeps across my skin, and I’m instantly on alert as I walk up the four steps toward the front door, noticing it’s slightly ajar.
“You shouldn’t have come here,” Mom hisses. “It’s too dangerous!”
I rush to flatten my body against the brick siding in between the tall window and door, hoping to hide myself from sight. I check the window and release a quiet sigh that the blinds are closed.
“You wouldn’t answer my calls, so you left me no choice!” A deep, baritone voice says.
All the fine hairs lift on my arms, and butterflies scatter in my chest.
“For good reason, Richard! Are you that desperate to get laid you couldn’t wait until the weekend?”
“I miss you, sweetheart.” He pronounces it like swee-heart, and panic swells in my throat. My legs buckle, and I clutch onto the wall for support.
“That’s not a good enough excuse. We need to stick to the plan. Now go before Grayson or Emily make an appearance.”
My heart is stuttering behind my rib cage, and I’ve lost the ability to breathe. Acute fear has a vise grip on my internal organs, and I can’t suck enough oxygen into my lungs. Heavy footsteps come toward me. I dart around the house and behind the ma
nicured hedges along the side, wishing I had Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak to hide myself.
I peek up just as the hulking form stops under the portico, and he turns ever so slightly. “This isn’t like last time, Carole. I love you, and I’m going nowhere this time.”
“Just go you…you fucking idiot!” Mom hisses as she scans the property. “Anyone could see you, and my reputation is already in shreds. I will see you over the weekend like we arranged. Grayson will be gone until Sunday night.”
The clunky watch on his wrist glints under the moonlight, and I shake all over. A little whimper escapes my lips, and I clamp a hand over my mouth, crouching even lower behind the bush, praying that he didn’t hear.
But he’s too angry over the confrontation with Mom to notice, and he stomps off down the driveway, gets into the sedan, and peels away from the curb with screeching tires.
My legs give out, and I sink to the ground, shaking and sobbing silently. My entire body trembles as memories I’ve tried so hard to deny breach the final wall, surging to the forefront of my mind. I pull my legs up to my chest, wrap my arms around myself, and squeeze my eyes shut.
No. no. no. It can’t be.
Does she know, or is this just a coincidence?
A strangled sound rips from my throat as I struggle to get air into my lungs. The worst pain imaginable presses down on my chest, like someone has placed a concrete block on top of it, constricting my ability to breathe.
The onslaught in my head continues, and I cradle my head in my knees, begging someone, anyone, to make it stop.
No. I can’t. I just can’t.
I scramble to my feet, gripping the side of my head, as tears cascade down my cheeks.
I need it to stop. I need to forget it all. To make it go away.
There’s only one choice.
I need to call on my old friend Molly.
21
Adam
I haven’t been able to breathe for the last few days. My schedule is crazy, and with our away game coming up this weekend, Coach is keeping us late every night. I haven’t seen Emily since our double date with Carter and Rachel, which is driving me fucking crazy. She’s on my mind every minute when I’m not throwing the ball or getting pummeled in practice. Hell, even when I’m sitting in class, I find myself doodling her name in my notebook instead of taking notes or listening to the professor. Yeah, I have it bad. I’ve never experienced butterflies in my stomach this intensely about any girl.
If I’m not thinking of Emily, Phoebe’s been consuming the other part of my brain. That minor cough she had a couple of weeks ago hasn’t gone away. Mom and I know that recurring chest colds are part of Phoebe’s condition, but we don’t want it to turn into pneumonia again. Her doctor put her on meds, and she’s been using her vest frequently to clear the mucus.
I know the way I’ve been making money isn’t on the up and up. But knowing Phoebe has a working vest to help her CF is the only thing that matters. Ray can hurt me, the cops can arrest me, and I still won’t regret choosing to sell drugs. But it’s time I call it quits. Emily has cleaned up her act, and I need to do the same.
Besides, I have plenty of money saved and Mom’s bills are paid. On top of that, Mom’s new job is going well. The only thing that scares me is the money I’ve saved isn’t going to last long if something happens to Phoebe again. Maybe I should stick it out for a while longer. After all, I did commit three months of my life to Ray. And I could make a boatload more to put away for a rainy day.
Greedy bastard, aren’t you? What about Emily?
I throw my truck in park and climb out, growling to myself as I snatch my gym bag. My girl. The love of my life. Man, do I miss the heck out of her. I never thought I would fall in love. Not that I’m not capable, but Mom, Phoebe, and football have been my world. Mom is going to be ecstatic, and Phoebe. Well, my little love bug will be over the moon when she finds out Emily will be a permanent figure in my life. That’s why I have to stop selling. I need to stick to my guns and not get tempted by the prospect of banking more cash. Emily is making a huge effort, and it’s time I do the same. Ray isn’t going to like it, but I don’t give a fuck.
Hiking my bag over my shoulder, I head into the dorm, grinning like a schoolboy as I pull my phone out of my pocket. All I want is to hear Emily’s voice and tell her I love her. Who am I kidding? I want to hear more than her voice. I want her beautiful body tangled around mine as I devour her. The only problem with the latter is we have no place of our own.
I remove my phone from my pocket, when a familiar voice calls my name. I come to an abrupt halt halfway down the path that leads to the dorm. A chill skates up my spine as I pivot on my heel and find Ray Diaz getting out of his black SUV. He never goes out of his way to find me. And he’s never stepped foot on campus, at least not that I know of.
Something is up, and I have no clue, but whatever it is, that scowl on his face tells me it’s not good.
Just what I need—another fucking problem.
I march up to him, glancing around the area. I can only see as far as the streetlight will allow, but I don’t spot anyone close by. The last thing I need is for Sam to see me talking to Ray. Then it will be the Spanish Inquisition, and I’m not ready to tell Sam yet.
Ray closes his door, then leans against it, adjusting the bling around his neck.
I angle my head. “What are you doing here?” I look up and down the sidewalk just to be sure I don’t see Sam. He’s working late tonight, but he’s due back shortly.
Ray crosses his tattooed arms over his chest. “You haven’t returned my calls.”
“I’m busy.” I clutch onto the strap of my gym bag like it’s my lifeline.
“I’ve called you at least ten times,” Ray says, narrowing his eyes.
I shrug. “So. I’m not on the clock yet.” Not that I punch a timecard. But I am consistent in the hours I work, which are way past bedtime. I’m surprised Sam hasn’t questioned me before now since I tend to tiptoe into the dorm room around two a.m. on nights I’m working the streets. “And I don’t carry my burner phone with me. You know that. Just cut to the chase.” I nervously look around for a third time.
“It’s come to my attention that you’re charging my clients more than my going rate.” His tone is calm on the surface, but that muscle jumping along his angular jaw says he’s ready to put his fist through my nose.
My blood gels. “If I recall, you told me what your cut was and what mine was. You never said I couldn’t charge more.”
The passenger window slides down and beady eyes glue to mine. It’s the same guy who frisked me that first night I met Ray. “Problem, boss?”
Ray scrubs his fingers along his hardened jaw. “Not yet,” he says, his gaze never wavering from mine. “So, you admit you’ve been skimming off me?”
My nostrils flare, anger bubbling to the surface. “Five or ten bucks here and there, but I don’t do it all the time.” I’ve been careful not to get too greedy.
He sucks in his lip ring, his hazel eyes glinting dangerously. “That could add up to a lot of money.”
I haven’t kept count. “Look, man. I’ll give you what I made so far this week, and we can call it even. In fact, I’m done. I’m not working for you anymore.”
He gives me a lethal sneer as he pops off the car, grinning like I said something funny. The mask falls over his face, and I swear I see fire burning in his eyes. “The fuck you are. You’re mine. And let’s not forget your three months isn’t up.”
Stupid me for coming up with that agreement.
I get in his face. “Are you threatening me?”
The short stocky guy always with him flies out of the car ready to pull his gun on me.
Ray holds up his hand to his bodyguard, glaring at me. “If you don’t want me to out you to your coach, you’ll do as I say. Or better yet, I can let the president of the college know what you’ve been doing. I’m sure she’ll love to hear how her husband’s star QB has been selling dr
ugs to their daughter.”
I clench my fists at my side and step into him. “Like fuck you will.” Clearly, Ray has done his homework on Cypress University. Then again, Zach is a client. So, he could’ve told Ray about me. Not sure why Zach would do that unless he’s pissed that I’m dating Emily. Or maybe, he went to Ray directly to get his supply when Emily and I went to Charlotte.
“Do you want to test me,” Ray says calmly. “Because I have no problem heading over to see your coach now.”
Fuuuck!
I know he’ll do it. Drug dealers like Ray don’t take shit from anyone. I’m kidding myself if I think I can stand up to someone who wouldn’t think twice about shooting me. More importantly, Coach cannot know I’m a drug dealer. I mean, telling Coach Parker I’m dating his daughter is nothing compared to what he’ll do if he finds out I’m selling drugs.
I turn my head slightly, shoving my hand through my hair when I see Sam jogging toward me.
Double Fuuuck! Can this night get any worse?
Ray follows my line of sight and must see the panic on my face because he adds, “Do you want him to know too?”
I whip my head back at Ray. “What?”
“He’s your roommate, right? And he doesn’t know what you do.”
Asshole. He’s done his due diligence on me all right, which means he knows all about Mom and Phoebe too. A line of sweat glides down my back, and I gulp over the panic swimming up my throat.
Sam is fast approaching. I have no choice but to agree to Ray’s demands. I can’t tell Sam. I want to, but even if I did, it wouldn’t change the fact I skimmed money off Ray. And he’s going to make me pay in more ways than one. That’s what my gut is telling me.
I’m so fucking stupid. I shouldn’t have gotten money hungry.
Sam slows to a walk. His blond hair is windblown, and his blue eyes take in Ray and Ray’s thug. “What’s going on?” he asks, frowning.
Holding on to Forever Page 20
