by Rich Garon
“Ellie, I am going to go out to take a walk,” Lee said.
She said what she knew was obvious, “Lee you really like to walk, don’t you?”
“Yes, I like to walk. I think I am pretty good at walking and I have gotten Christie to walk more. She said she noticed having more energy after our walking. Things are clearer in my head when I walk and sometimes I am very surprised I have not even noticed how far I have walked.”
“Maybe you should get a pedometer; it will tell you how far you’ve walked.”
“But, I do not want to know how far I have walked. I know if I have walked enough by feeling the backs of my legs. I know how big those muscles should feel and if at the end of the week, if I need to, I will walk up and down hills.”
Ellie turned her head to look at her brother, never seeing the slight smile Lee’s words brought to her father’s face. “You take your time,” she said.” That sounds like a good system.” She knew that if anything happened to her, her brother would never be able to sit in the command post.
Lee knew he had to get outside and as he opened the door, he let out the gasp of a long-submerged snorkeler breaking the surface. He had to have the oxygen of his walking to think about everything Reid had said. He would have to walk over to Mrs. Plennington’s spa right now. Christie would be at work. Christie would have to tell him about the state university and tell him everything Reid said wasn’t true. Once Christie cleared everything up, then Lee could go back to worrying about his father. First things first, he thought as he began the three-mile walk to the spa. He looked back at the one building of the hospital still visible through the trees. There was another mall opening up, maybe six stores not much different than the -- he counted -- the eight strip malls on either side of the highway now snarled by a web of wires from which traffic lights dangled. As he walked through the unfinished parking lot he thought about all that grass gone forever, grass that would never gently lift each of his steps. He was now on the edge of the road, uncomfortably close to groaning trucks and impatient minivans. He knew the lights were changing when he heard the engines leave their idle and he tried to move back as far as he could from the road without breaking stride. It was easy to twist your ankle on the gravel and debris on the side of the road. This was not one of the places he would walk if he had a choice. He wondered if Ellie thought he just went out for a walk around the hospital grounds. He caught himself when he stepped on a piece of broken plastic. Just over the rusted, green metal bridge, with the big rivets, began a stretch of fields where struggling grass lay under the threat of lot-for-sale signs. Lee knew it wouldn’t be long.
Beyond the new mobile homes standing under a galaxy of different colored aluminum pennants tossing in the breeze, the full, green branches came into view. Lee smiled, almost thought of waving. His feet pushed forward in a more determined gait. The warm sun had brought the beginning of a sweat to his workout. The trees seemed to draw a boundary in front of houses that had been in town long before the invention of the traffic light. He was soon in the park that hosted the Dan Calvert for Council Rally. The knoll looked the same as the morning they arrived to begin preparations for what Lee had been led to believe would be the defining moment in the campaign of a real man of the people. He looked at the spot where his father threw the football at him. That was another man, not his father.
Lee wondered if Dan Calvert would be going to jail. Christie had told him about Dan Calvert. Terri Herman had told him also. Lee hoped Terri wouldn’t be sent to jail. She just did what her brother told her. She wouldn’t do well in a jail cell. Maybe she and her brother had left and were now somewhere managing the campaign of another man of the people. He remembered Sanford Black’s battle plan for the rally. One good thing about Sanford, he stuck to his guns; he didn’t care if some people wanted other flavors of ice cream. He told Lee at the end of the rally that if he had to do it again, he would go solo with vanilla. Why give people something they want just because they want it? You give them one thing and there will be no stopping them. Sanford said if the people knew what was good for them, they wouldn’t need the good people who aspire to political office. Lee agreed when Sanford asked him never to forget that basic principle of politics.
Lee lifted his foot on to the sidewalk. The broad shoulders of the trees above switched off in a flick the sun’s heat. Mrs. Plennington’s spa was maybe ten blocks away, but it was ten blocks of green lawns with fine edges, mulched shrub beds, stone walkways, trees with an armor of strong bark and towering branches that gave even more authority to well-sculpted houses. Houses, Lee thought, that might have been around when President Theodore Roosevelt visited the town which according to the historical sign was 1902. The first street was Augusta and following the alphabet, he would turn left on Harrison, and then it was another three blocks to the Spa. He loved to walk on these streets. Sometimes, people out in their yards or walking their dogs would recognize Lee from all of his walks and wave. Some people just stared. But he loved this area of town; loved it even though he knew he would never be able to afford one of these houses.
He pulled from his pocket, the slip of paper his mother had given him. Maybe he would call her. She had asked him to call her. He put the piece of paper back into his pocket. Thoughts of his father in his hospital bed, thoughts of his mother whom he should call because he hadn’t seen her in over ten years were washed away with the force of a fire hose by his thoughts of Christie and everything that Reid said might happen. He tried to turn the water off; his mother and father were more important at this point. But the forceful spray continued and kept his mind on only one thing.
When he got to Harrison Street he turned in the opposite direction of the Fitness Fling Spa, went two streets over, headed in the direction of the hospital and when he got back to Augusta, turned and headed back to Harrison. He did this twice. He had to kill time. Christie worked till five; she had told him she would be at the hospital at six-thirty. He walked and walked. He got to the spa at four o’clock. Mrs. Plennington’s office was dark. He had never seen it dark before. He looked around, but he didn’t see her. This made things even more disturbing. Did it mean that Mrs, Plennington wasn’t at her spa or would she jump out from some door and ask him some tricky questions, put her hand on him, and make him smile that frozen smile? He kept an eye out for her as he walked toward Christie. Her back was towards him as she discussed some exercise with a group of four elderly women. The women turned their attention from Christie to the advancing Lee. Christie turned. “Lee, what are you doing here? Did something happen to your father?” She rushed to him while her class waited for his answer.
“No, my father is still at the hospital and I think he is getting better. He was sleeping when I left.”
“Then why are you here now? Remember I said I would meet you at the hospital and I would tell you about my visit? You know,” she whispered so the elderly ladies wouldn’t hear, “to the state university.”
“This is about your visit to the state university,” he whispered back. “I need to talk with you now.”
“Now? I’m in the middle of a class.”
“But it has to be now. I have tried to wait till later, I have walked for five hours around and around trying to wait till later, but I have to talk to you now.”
Christie’s impatience evaporated as she saw a particularly troubled look on Lee’s face. “Ladies, I’m terribly sorry, but you’ll have to excuse me for a minute. Maybe you could brush up on that exercise we started with.”
Christie led Lee to a partition behind the check-in desk. As she patted her neck and face, the towel became an atomizer spritzing a citrus orchard scent his way. “Lee, what’s this all about? I thought something had happened to your dad. You’re sure he’s okay?”
“Yes, my father is doing better. I will have to go back to the hospital soon. My mother will be there tonight. I was very glad to see my mother and so was my father, I did not think that would ever happen, that my father would be glad to see my
mother. But my father has changed.”
“Lee, I need to get back to my class. Come back in an hour, I’ll go home and change and then we can go to the hospital.”
“I need to speak to you now, Christie, about the state university. After your trip to the state university, do you think you will go there in the fall?”
“Well, I liked the school and they were very encouraging about financial aid.”
“So, you are going to go?”
“Lee, I said we can talk about this later.” She looked at her class. One woman, running in place, was clearly annoyed at this break in her training regimen.
“I need to know now.”
“Yes, I think I would like to go.”
“Do you remember you said you loved me and I said I loved you? I will always love you. No matter what, even if you are away at the state university. But I need to know if you will always love me no matter what, even after you meet all those other people going to college. I will love you forever. Will you love me forever?” The other exercisers stopped their chatter and while not as annoyed as the woman running in place, nevertheless began to stare at Christie and Lee. Christie gave a nervous I’ll be right there wave.
“Lee, what’s gotten into you? You’re just going to have to wait. I told you to come back in an hour.”
“So, you are not going to tell me that when you go away to the state university, that no matter what you will love me forever?”
“I am not telling you anything right now. I want you to come back at five o’clock. I have got to get back to my class.”
“I will not be back here at five o’clock,” said Lee as he strode away.
“Lee!” But it was too late, he was in the doorway, then gone.
“Mrs. Plennington, Christie left us just standing here. She just left us and went chasing out the door after some boy she had been having an argument with.” That’s exactly what the woman who had stood with folded arms would say. Christie walked back to the exercisers. She’d have to stay a few minutes after five.
Lee walked for the next hour. It was over. Reid had been right. Christie didn’t have to say anything. Lee knew if he showed up at the state university in a disguise, he’d see Christie walking with a new boyfriend and talking with all her college friends about things that he’d never be able to understand. He thought about his father. It was getting dark. He slurped the last of a large chocolate shake that had been drained with none of the enjoyment that comes with savoring a chocolate shake. He tossed the cup into the trash and then walked back four blocks to stand in line behind a man ordering a dinner of a double cheeseburger, large order of French fries, apple pie, cookie and Diet Coke. The same girl who had waited on Lee earlier handed him another large chocolate shake. “Like these things, hey?” she said. She wasn’t pretty and she wasn’t funny. He looked behind the counter, at the customers in the seats, at the people in line behind him. None of these fast-food makers or fast-food eaters people cared about him. He wasn’t angry at them, even as he felt himself freefalling into the big barrel where all these people lived. He’d have to get to know them; there would be no way now of ever getting out of the barrel. He wondered if they would ever talk about anything but the food and drinks they were making and ordering. Ellie and his mother could take care of his father. They would have to understand that they could only wave to him from the rim of the barrel. He wondered if his sister would plead with Christie; please help my brother get out of the barrel. Lee saw Christie angrily refusing. Your brother embarrassed me so at the spa, Christie told Ellie. Christie was probably already thinking about having a new boyfriend at state university.
The second shake was gone as Lee came to the end of the street which like an off ramp of an airport led to the J street and then to the main runway toward the hospital. Regular visiting hours were over in an hour. He looked at the pay phone in front of the convenience store. He should call, but what would he say? Everyone would be angry. He reached for the card he had gotten from the nurse and deposited several coins into the phone. His stomach hung unfamiliarly over his belt, just slightly, and the two shakes began to harden like poured concrete. Sugar streamed through his head and his muscles tingled. His body hung heavily on the phone post. Five rings. Maybe he should call a cab.
“CCU?” came a voice that drilled each letter into the other.
“This is Lee Fitts. My father is in the CCU and I wanted to see if my sister or mother . . . “
“I know they are both looking for you, please wait one second.”
Lee knew they would be mad. He hadn’t bothered to call his mother the whole day. She would probably leave again. Ellie wouldn’t be happy. Even though she had put herself in charge of their father’s care, Lee had no right not to be there. And Lee’s father was sure to have asked for his son.
“Lee, where are you?”
“Ellie, I’m very sorry. I know I shouldn’t . . .”
“Lee, don’t speak and listen to me. How long will it take you to get here?
“Maybe forty-five minutes if I walk fast.”
“Try to get a ride or take a cab. Dad, is not doing very well. The doctors are not sure what caused it. Get here soon. You need to get here soon.” Lee heard a click and then hung up his phone.
He looked at a faded sticker for a cab company on the phone. He could barely make out the numbers, but found there was no more change in his pocket. Panic pulled at him. His body hadn’t expected that anything, even panic, would have thought Lee was in any shape to run. But his legs like a team of resting horses awakened by the snap of desperate reins, propelled him. Past Jefferson, Independence, Hanover, as he thought about the G, F, E, D, C, B, A streets in front of him, he felt a stitch in his side. Listing to one side, he rubbed at the area just above his belt. Running turned to a fast walk, at least until Edwards Avenue. He ran faster now, trying to make up for lost time. The two shakes were toying with him and he thought he would have to stop to puke. By the time he got to Boyce, the feeling passed, but he was still holding his side. He was starting to cry, and pulled his hand from his side to wipe his eyes. He wondered how many times his father had asked for him? Should he have tried to get a cab; maybe he would have been at the hospital by now. Why hadn’t Ellie or his mother offered to pick him up? They must be really mad at him. Or maybe they did not want to leave his father. Lee repeated to himself that even if his father weren’t doing very well, the doctors would do something. It wasn’t as if his father were going to die while they drove to where Lee was. At Augusta Avenue, a thought draped in black veils landed hard; maybe his father was dying.
The last light from Augusta faded as Lee hit the fields. His shoes pounded over a frayed mat of litter and twisted arms of weeds. Rumbling trucks and SUVs laughed at the speed limit signs and were not reluctant to grab the shoulder on which Lee was running. Lee moved away from the road. The stitch had eased up some and he didn’t have to bend any more. He found himself picking up the pace as he looked ahead at the quilt of ever-changing reds, yellows and greens that hung above the streets between the strip malls. Beyond those stores was the driveway leading to the hospital.
The dim lights masked how close the tramp hauler was coming toward him. Realizing at last, Lee stepped quickly in almost a leap. His foot landed on a baseball-size chunk of asphalt hiding in a sinister green canopy. He rolled, the truck was even with him now, but as the macadam shot out from under his heel, the spin took him away from the road. In that split second, he waited for the landing and one of two things: a thanks to God or a cry to the heavens for help. There was no thanks; his ankle had twisted badly, his palms stung from the debris that had bitten into them, and his head had hit something hard. As he got up he saw the truck’s lone rear light flicker in the distance. He could walk, but the pain spiked up his leg. He patted at the cut on his head, some blood, but the flame from the abrasion soon died. He was on his way again, like the soldier he had read about in the front lines of a Civil War battle who had been wounded, but knew
his duty demanded that he continue until he reached his objective. He was almost to the last of the strip malls before the turn into the hospital. The pain from his ankle buckled his knee and he began to hop through that last parking lot. An elderly couple bringing groceries to their card stopped and apprehensively watched the hopping boy with the gash in his head. They unloaded their groceries and quickly got into the car not knowing if the hopping boy would turn and start after them.
Lee began up the hospital drive and was now supporting his leg by bending it back and holding on to the cuff of his pants leg. When his arm couldn’t hold any longer, his foot lowered to the ground and the ankle burst with pain upon each step. He slowed as he got to the entrance and leaned on the rails as he walked into the hospital. Walking across the hall to the elevator, his leg, surrendering to the pain, buckled and he leaped for the railing. He clung to the inside of the elevator. The door opened and he saw his father’s doctor at the end of the hall. Lee walked past his father’s room. The view from the hall allowed him to see his father’s legs under the covers just as they had been that morning.
He’d go in and apologize to his father for not being there after he spoke with the doctor. Dr. Centers, the young doctor who Lee had come to believe could fix anything, shook Lee’s hand. He noted Lee’s limp, but said nothing. He motioned Lee into a small conference room, where the nurse on duty when his father was admitted, sat at a white table with used coffee cups and someone’s crumpled lunch bag pushed to one side. She placed the coffee pot back on the heating pad and handed a cup to the doctor who suggested that Lee sit down.
“I’m sorry. We did everything we could, but it happened very quickly. His pre-existing condition, the vascular mass, it ruptured across from the earlier repairs we had made. I’m sorry. I know your sister and mother tried to get in touch with you. I believe your mother left a while ago to see if she could find you. Your sister and her husband were in your father’s room; they may have gone downstairs.”
