I listened to the words suddenly, and I hated how they fit. I would love to take this woman home with me. Looked as though she would absolutely be with another man very soon, however. Would she ever be mine if I tried? I knew how to charm the hell out of a woman, whether or not I had ever really applied it was null. My father had taught his boys well in the ways of charm, flattery, and wooing a woman. Hell, he still wooed the hell out of my mother to a disgusting extent, so I was fairly confident that if she ever gave me the shot, I might know how to win her. Had she liked my roses? The quote? It was so damn true where she was concerned. Jase Taylor seemed to be doing a very good job, though.
I had to laugh when that brave ass dropped to his knees as he screamed those last words into the mic and pointed at her. I rubbed my throat reflexively, feeling for his voice in that moment. That couldn’t have been an easy song. Was she going to be his girl instead if I didn’t make some sort of move quickly? Why should I make a move? Why should I try to make her mine? Although a woman so naïve seemed an easy one to keep my Nightshade life a secret from… Damn it, would I want to keep anything from that beautiful little bartender?
“Alright, this song is for the hot, little, redheaded, bartender,” Jase told the crowd, interrupting my thoughts. Oh, hell, he wasn’t only dedicating one song to her, he was serenading her! She laughed with a disapproving shake of her head as he began “Next To You.” I could agree with that. I was surprised to find that his connection to her was not as superficial as I would have preferred, when he stated the next one was for his little sister’s best friend, and began “You Really Got Me.” I was pleased enough for all the money he was making me, for Kinsley and the rest of the staff doing such a fantastic job at keeping up, but I was becoming… what? Jealous? Me? Seriously? Had I ever been jealous before? How could I not be when he was in the middle of “Just the Way You Are” after having confessed before every bloody person in the place that he had pretty much been in love with her since highschool? Apparently adored her even in some sort of awkward phase? Perhaps what was worse, was the fact that she was so completely stunned, flattered, conflicted, that that flicker of doubt and unworthiness came across that pretty face to pain my heart all over again. Oh, Love, how can you not see that it is we who are unworthy of you? It could never be the other way around. I wanted to pull her to me, to wrap her up, to tell her these things. Assure her, build her up the way she deserved. He had picked one hell of a song because she was really every damn bit of it.
I looked around and realized I had lost track of the son of a bitch stalking her. Shit! King, how could you be so bloody foolish to allow such distraction? I couldn’t take anymore of this bullshit tonight. I needed to quit watching someone else steal my girl right from under my nose. Define irony. The very man I was scouting for replacing me so I may be able to get out for this young woman to possibly give me a shot, was the one taking my shot away from me right now. That prick stalking her had better steer clear of her tonight or else…
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He was covering “Just the Way You Are” by Bruno Mars, but he was a dead ringer for the Boyce Avenue cover. Was this guy for real? It was so damn beautiful, and I was so touched I couldn’t seem to function right now. I realized I was once again holding my breath when Kayleigh walked over to me and commanded me to breathe. I exhaled heavily and supported myself against the bar while I watched in open captivation. He grabbed the mic on the chorus and smiled at me through the beautiful words as though he meant them so fully. I was blown away by how strong Jase’s voice was when singing a ballad. He sang alternative and blues, so it was rare to catch him in one, but, boy, when you did… I sighed dreamily. I only had to serve a few drinks right now since everyone else was as captivated as I was. He played his guitar with Keane as they both would come in on the chorus. He flipped his hair and looked at me while he sang. I couldn’t look away. I was touched. Maybe he was into me! I thought of everything, the sweet moments that I’d never read anything into. The time he practically picked me up when I’d truly crumbled, thinking that he was just being a sweet friend who once again felt sorry for his little sister’s bestie. Was it possible? Had he really looked at me like that from back then? Did he really think of me like that? Or when he listened to this song? When he sang it? Holy crap! He cupped that mic in both his hands again and tilted his head back and closed his eyes while his beautiful voice floated heavenly over the whole bar. Kayleigh looked over at me like I was in for trouble. I widened my eyes in agreement and looked back as they closed it. Silence. When Jase pulled that mic away from his face, he smiled at the crowd and thanked them. He took another drink before he smiled sweetly, so genuinely, as he picked softly at his guitar.
“You want one more?” he asked. The crowd cheered wildly, breaking the silence. “Alright, this one goes out to the woman I watch every time I am at this bar whether I am working or not,” he said mildly breathless. He looked back over to me. “The woman I hope will at least give me a date after tonight. Maybe even one day her heart.” I smiled and rolled my eyes as there was a collective “Aw!!!” from just about every female in the bar, including Kayleigh! I looked at her incredulously.
“Kayleigh! What has gotten into you?” I asked her, turning away from Jase.
“What? I am a woman still, aren’t I? I have a heart in here somewhere, and that man is pulling on those strings! Kinsley, he is absolutely into you! If you don’t give him a date you will officially look like the biggest bitch!” she nodded and pointed at him while her hands were crossed over her chest. “He’s smart,” she observed.
She was right. This was big enough that I would look awful if I turned him down. I turned back to Jase and waved my finger at him to show him I was onto him. He gave me that lopsided grin, effectively melting my insides. He began to play an electric guitar. Keane joined in with his own. I wasn’t sure what the song was at first. Odd. Oh shit! The lyrics! I cupped my hand over my mouth as my heart leapt to my throat, my feet rooted in place as I couldn’t pull myself away.
He began to sing about being nervous in that pretty scratchy voice, indicating with the lyrics that I might have him excited and wanting more, just like the valentine. I liked it. It sounded like Seether, but who the hell really knew, right? All I knew was that he was pretty much asking me to never leave his company, that I am the one who seems to keep him at bay, and that he would just keep trying for me. Damn, this fine man was taken with me? Little bad haircut, braceface, Kinsley James? Alternate universe. I knew butterflies were soaring like hell, that’s for damn sure. Did that mean Jase had sent those flowers and balloons?!
I let the words of this song sink in as I watched him. The song got really heavy throughout even though he stayed on the stool. After giving me such a sincerely meaningful look, he closed his eyes for the duration and put so much into those melancholy words that repeated in such a pretty way in their own abrasion. It got a little lighter, then the guitar’s lingering last note was the only sound as the song closed.
The song ended, and my silly Jase seemed to be in a bit of a thoughtful contemplation. I hadn’t seen thoughtful Jase in years it seemed. He still studied me although he went ahead and took requests, giving me a break. I was able to work my tables, though almost everyone in the bar was rooting for Jase to win my heart. Almost. I earned some pretty bad mean mugs from jealous women. I cringed inwardly, but tried to be polite in the face of it. Jase let Keane take lead on a few songs, effectively showing that he was just as talented at playing the guitar, and Keane was just as talented at lyrics. His voice just held a different quality than Jase’s. I was sure it would come in handy if Keane decided to continue to play with Jase’s band. They could pull a wider variety of songs.
My shift ended, but the guys were still playing, so I took that opportunity to slink out of the bar unnoticed, without having to face Jase and his request. I admit I hummed those songs on my way home.
CHAPTER 6
I drove to her house, parking discr
eetly down the street a bit before getting out. I made my way stealthily toward her place, looking for that asshole. I had tracked him here three other times before. So far, he hadn’t made the fatal move of touching her. Just watched. Too closely, hence the damn morning workouts I’d taken up to keep his ass away from her as she naïvely worked out on the beach. Not that I wasn’t guilty of watching her as well, but my gut told me this guy hadn’t had some life-altering encounter that told him he was made to love this woman. No, he seemed the type that would eventually kidnap her and do very bad things to her. I had to fight the flash, once more, of the very bad things I would personally love to do with her. I didn’t want to fuck anyone else but her, especially when she had such a grip on my bloody soul, but how the hell else could I deal with the fucking blue balls I now lived with day in and day out since I had found her again? I would absolutely be calling upon services when I was done here.
I checked my watch. Only ten fifteen. Kinsley’s shift wasn’t to be over for another fifteen minutes. I made sure to check all of the surrounding areas for that prick. Why would he have disappeared unless it was to beat her home to try some shit? I didn’t see him anywhere. This was it, King. Time to cross a damn line and go in. He could be inside waiting for her, and I would never be able to tell from the street if he was hurting her. I closed my eyes disgustedly at the level I felt I was stooping to as I pulled my small kit from my pocket and quickly picked her lock. Damn it to hell if I hated how easily someone could get into her place. I was careful to remain silent as I entered. If he was in here, I was damn sure going to have the upperhand.
I drew my gun as I shut the door behind me, silently relocking it so he couldn’t make a quick escape. My gut told me that he was here tonight. That tonight was the night he had snapped. I could practically feel his presence as I listened for any noise. I kept my gun ready as I crept silently down a hall and checked a study and bathroom just out of precaution, though I wasn’t stupid. If he was here, he was going to be in her room. Waiting.
I cautiously entered her room, and I tried to ignore her lingering scent as I made my way into her bathroom. I heard him! He was here, that son of a bitch! He must have seen me because he was busy getting the hell out of here as fast as he could, coming from beneath her bloody bed! I ran back out into the hall in just enough time to see him lift the window in the study. I commanded him to stop, and he hesitated in enough fear, but must have known the safer option for himself would be to jump out of the damn window! I looked through the frame to see his shadowed figure hauling ass away from her place. Damn! Certainly he was running on adrenaline alone because that was no easy landing! Normally I may have gone after him, but I knew it was only a matter of time before he was in my sights again. He didn’t know me. He didn’t know what I looked like since it was so dark. My accent wasn’t so strong that anyone could simply pick it right up instantly. I would get my hands on his sick ass next time to be certain. He’d finally crossed that line and was going to die. No question about it. I ran a hand through my hair and cursed as I heard what must have been Kinsley pulling into her driveway! Shit! I shut the window so as not to scare her. I didn’t want her knowing she was in danger. Hell, I was the most dangerous person she could be in the presence of in this whole bloody state, so what the hell did I do with that?
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I noticed my parents were still out with their own friends like adults who actually still had active social lives, ha! Just kidding; they were very popular, actually. I jogged up my stairs, happy to be home, and once I got inside, I grabbed a glass of water and walked down the hall to my room, so very ready to shed all that was work. Thank goodness for the ability to run home and hide like a coward! Jase was so damn hot, and it seemed the guy was trying to light fires in every aspect of me.
I shed my work clothes and turned on some dirty classic rock. Shhh… Yes, I indulge in a little dirty dancing to dirty songs in the privacy of my own home. Why have perks like these without using them? Though I didn’t dance tonight as much as just walk around in my undies. I walked back to my kitchen to put my cup into the sink, deciding I needed just a little more water, though I knew it wasn’t going to douse the fact that I was on fire, and not in a good way. I was aroused, and I tried to avoid arousing situations. I needed to change my music because it was only hurting the situation. I mean I wouldn’t mind being taken down, though nothing looked slow and easy about Jase. He seemed very rough and tumble. “Ugh!!” I groaned and padded back to my room to change the music. “There “Patience”, you hornball. Learn to have some before you go giving all your dang ice cream away to someone who won’t buy the truck, young lady,” I chided quietly in my mother’s tone as GnR helped to tone things down. I sang softly along as I went in search of my phone. I stopped in the hallway briefly as I caught a faint scent that was foreign to me. Cologne? I inhaled sharply. Maybe some of the clothes I’d put in the hamper had some from the bar? My ringing phone pulled me out of my thoughts, and I ran to answer it, collapsing onto my living room couch as I gushed happily to my friend Nell about the night she would be sorry she’d missed.
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I quickly decided to hide in those accordion doors across the hall since she may just check this room. What if she decided to do some last minute homework or something? I quickly hid, not too soon, either, because she unlocked the door just as I was done closing them. I knew she couldn’t see me, though I could see her, but, damn, it was still a bit terrifying. What would I do if she found me? Kill her? Kidnap her until I could convince her I wasn’t a danger to her? I couldn’t think straight when she was so close, in such intimate confines as her apartment no less. Hers. I was in her realm. Damn it to hell if that didn’t send sick desire throughout my body, causing me to adjust the damn erection I had almost instantly for her. Like a bloody teenager. I closed my eyes as my heart hammered in my chest, and my palms began to sweat as she walked past these doors. I could smell her so strongly, and I smiled as she hummed happily before she put music on that filled the entire apartment. Whoa!
I had to take slow deep breaths to try and tamp down the lust that soared when that good girl turned on music I never would have pegged her for. White Snake? Her? “Slow An Easy” beat through the place, and she walked back by in her fucking panties and bra. The maroon tangas that crept up her fine ass had me shifting uncomfortably while I ran both my hands over my face and up into my hair where I pulled hard to try and tame my shit down. I was going to fuck her. I had never had this impulse in my bloody life, but here I was, ready to give her the shit she was obviously craving in this moment. Should I reveal myself, put my fucking gun to her head before throwing her to her bed and ripping those panties off her? Damn it, this was violent in a way that I wasn’t. I wanted to take her down alright, but there would be nothing slow or easy about it. I wanted to get so very rough with her. This music only brought my beast out to play. I didn’t have to see her to know that she walked back by. I could smell her intoxicating perfume. I had to find out what the hell it was. I needed a bottle. I just kept my eyes closed, pretty much praying for self control while I practically trembled with twisted desire.
As if an answer to my prayer, the music changed. Guns N Roses’ “Patience” drifted from her room, and I felt myself calming some. There was nothing that would ease the insane ache she had put into my balls for her, nor the fact that I was so hard I could feel my pulse through my dick, but at least this served to tame me down a bit so that I didn’t do something I couldn’t take back.
How could I ever imagine hurting my sweet girl like that? Tainting her that way? How would I be able to kill you, Love, when you are such a delicious craving I need to quell? My Sweet Remission. Could she rid me of the bad? Could she love me in return? Could she ever be mine? Can I have her, God? Can you even hear me when I am such a monster? My sins so great even in this bloody moment? I am so unworthy, but please let me have her! I will try to flee from my sin if you just let me have this angel! Did God n
egotiate? It had been an awful long time since I’d been to church…
I locked tight when she paused on her way back into the living room. She inhaled deeply, directly in front of me, not even a whole foot away, and I cursed myself for this spur of the moment decision I’d made. Never bloody wear cologne or anything scented when entering another’s domain unless you plan on getting caught. Kinsley… Back off, Love… Don’t open the doors… I prayed so hard, never even realizing it because I was so worried, but her phone rang, and she was done, over it, as though she’d imagined it. I tipped my head back and breathed a silent sigh of relief!
That was the only prayer that had been answered because I endured a whole marathon of lust-inducing heavy rock after that one calming song, a hell of a lot of it was older, to my continued surprise. I was torn between the ability to learn about her personality, and all the things these songs made me want to do to her. The ways I could fuck her. The positions I would love to take her in. I found as much as I wanted to be sweet to her, I also wanted to kill her for the painful lust and horrible things she inspired within me. I began to think that I should kill her after I fucked her, or perhaps as she came so she could die a happy woman, and I could leave her knowing I pleased her at least once. I began to realize this woman wasn’t only the Remission, she was the Cancer as well. Sweet on one side, dark on the other. She was bad news, and I was torn. Listen to me calling someone like her bad news.
When she went to sleep, after talking on the phone and pissing me off as she spoke to a woman named Nell about how hot Jase was, how he had serenaded her, how she was beginning to wonder if she should give him a shot, some lyrics and flowers for Valentine’s Day, should she go on the date he had asked for, blah, blah, fucking pissing me off blah! I resolved to remove her distraction. Yes, it would suck ass for the man that I had learned worked only five floors down from me when he found his sweet daughter’s lifeless body, but I could either remove a single threat, or I could create a whole shit storm of consequences and become some sick asshole along the way in my mad thirst for her. Selfish, sure, but I’d never claimed to be anything of moral character, now did I? She was bad news even in her naïve innocence! How is that even possible?! Klive King doesn’t take shit, doesn’t tolerate distractions, doesn’t give into bloody temptations. I am not this man! Everyone knows that! I hated her as much as I was infatuated with her. I had come to protect her, and now I would be here to kill her. At least this way I would be sparing her of the hell I knew the other sick asshole wanted to put her through if I’d ever allowed him to access her in that way. Yes, I was definitely the most dangerous man she could be exposed to, and that danger was about to live itself out as I crept into her room. Her iPod was still on the dock, but was playing much quieter than it had been. Soothingly. Like a lullaby. Enough music that I wouldn’t have to worry about being stealthily silent. Was she a light sleeper? Gosh, I hoped not.
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