“Thanks girls. My Mom told me we’re having some financial problems and we need to cut back on our expenses. That means we’re going to have to sell the horses and Dad’s plane and who knows what else.”
As Annie finished speaking, she broke down into tears and her two friends surrounded her trying to comfort her, knowing what a hardship it would be if Annie lost her horse. Soon Annie wiped her nose with her sleeve and told her friends thanks for being there and losing a horse was not the end of the world.
Annie blew her nose and said, “Family’s the most important thing there is. Sure I love Nasty, but he’ll go to a good home – I’ll make sure.”
Meanwhile, Brandon was riding up the mountain, head down, reins slack, letting his horse follow the trail. He was deep in thought about his life. Most of what he thought about revolved around drinking in both good and bad times. The good times were with his buddies, and the bad times were fighting with his wife over his drinking. At almost the end of his reflections, he decided that most of what he did off the job, and sometimes on the job revolved around drinking alcohol. His last thoughts were the dead end road his was on with his drinking, but did he have the will power to right a wrong? He wasn’t sure he had the strength to fight the addiction. As he mulled it over he perked up when he heard the girls coming down the mountain and laughing about God knew what.
Annie was the first to see him and gave him a big holler and wave. Brandon waved back and broke into a big smile as he stopped his horse and waited till then came down to him. Brandon realized how really grown up his daughter and her friends really were. They sat in the saddle straight backed and held his gaze with respect. Annie asked, “Dad where are you going?”
“I’m out here to shake off the big city hustle and bustle and get back to nature if I can. I’m long overdue for a talk with my alter ego, if I may use that term with you young ladies. I won’t hold you up. I don’t know about dinner, ladies, I am sorry to say that we must take a rain check on dinner. I’ll catch up with you back and the ranch.” He left it there and tipped his hat good bye and continued up the trail. Without realizing it Brandon reached behind him to drag out of his saddle bags a pint of Kentucky bourbon he always carried with him. To his initial chagrin, and then to the realization why he was on this sojourn was to find his real self, became aware of the real need to change his life style. But once again, did he have what it took to take on an addiction that threatened to ruin his way of life as he knew it. Only time would tell the story. God how he hated that cliché and now it was time to walk to sweat out the poison and for him to have a look into the mirror of reality for the truth. He dismounted and led his mount up the hill looking forward to sweating out some poison.
An hour later found him drenched with sweat and breathing hard having hiked to the line shack. He sat down and looked from north to south. A vista that few had seen met his eyes. He thought, I wonder if I fail to quit drinking would this panorama be lost forever. It was at this very spot that he and Lucy made up their minds to buy the ranch from the old couple that had for more generations that they could remember had been in the family.
Thoughts like a slide show on fast forward flashed through his mind both good and bad. To Brandon, sitting around with your friends drinking and playing cards, or watching a foot ball game on TV was the epitome of happiness. Then another picture came crashing down like a plane out of control: It was the hangovers. He shook the bad thoughts off and when his breathing returned to normal he sat there wondering what the next few months would bring. He stuck out his hands and saw them quivering. He flashed back when he last had a drink and it had been since the day before so he realized the shakes were coming soon. He thought hard how he could hide the shakes and could not find a way except to have a few belts to calm his withdrawal symptoms. Brandon stood up looked at his horse and said out loud, “I think there’s only one option open to me and that’s to come clean with my addiction and see what develops.” With that he swung up into the saddle and pointed his horse downhill and home to face the music.
Upon returning, Brandon handed over the reins to Stan without a word and went to the house to clean up. Stan noticed Brandon walked with his head held high, looking proud. Stan knew without being told that some serious stuff was happening at the house and wondered if his job was in jeopardy as he led the mare to be rubbed down and fed.
Brandon avoided everyone including his wife as he hid out the rest of the late afternoon. To say he was not tempted to drink would be an understatement. He remembered one time when he decided, not completely wanting to quit, attending an AA meeting. Two things stuck in his mind from that meeting: one was the ‘Higher Spirit’ and the other was the ability to find a big brother to help fight the shakes and temptation.
A soft knock on the bedroom door broke his thinking about drinking and as he swung his legs over the side of the bed, Lucy walked in rather timidly. She looked at him and then softly asked, “How are you doing Brandon?”
“Well Lucy, its truth time. I’m hurting bad. By tomorrow I’ll be sick and in withdrawals. I really don’t know if I have the strength to overcome this addiction. I’ll give it the old college try. I’ll need help and I’ll need to go to the clinic sooner rather than later, but I want our kids to know the reason for my absence. First I want to talk to Todd and then to Annie. I’d like that to happen now if you can arrange it.”
Lucy found herself with one hand and arm wrapped around her waist and the other hanging onto the neck of her shirt. Never in her life was she so scared and found that she loved him more now than ever. Brandon saw the look in her eye and smiled even though he hurt badly. She said, “Todd has no idea what’s taking place so be gentle if you can. At his age he lives in a dream world totally oblivious to the real world out there. Boys that age think about having fun, going to parties, taking out girls and I think you know the rest of the story”
“I know honey, but sometimes we have to grow up faster than the book says. Thanks for being there and I know without asking that I have your complete support. I expect to lean on family for the remainder of my life. Okay, have Todd pay me a visit.”
A few minutes later a knock on the door produced Todd his fifteen year old son. He told Todd to drag up a chair and get ready for a man to man talk. Brandon sat on the edge of the bed and looked closely at his son. He saw the beginnings of a dark hair line on the upper lips and a face full of adolescent pimples. But, Brandon thought, his eyes are full of intelligence that needs to be nurtured. “Anyway,” he said, while Todd remained quiet and at attention, “Todd I have to admit doing something that was dead wrong.” Brandon noticed his son’s eyes open wide and then after a pause continued, “As you probably already know I have a drinking problem. It’s time to do something about my drinking. Very soon I’ll go to a clinic that will help me quit drinking. Meanwhile, some drastic changes are needed on the ranch - your mom will go over the details. What this means is that you’ll have to grow up very quickly and learn responsibility faster than is normal for a fifteen year old boy. We all have to make some sacrifices. This will be my last time I apologize to you for my failure as both a man and a father. You know, Todd, alcoholism runs in my family. My father was a drunk who managed to provide for us and due to his drinking, died early. Alcoholism is both genetic and learned behavior. I can only hope that you can learn from what I said and from what you see around you. I don’t know if I can answer your questions, but I’ll try. Do you have anything to say or ask of me Todd?”
In Todd’s young mind what he was listening to came across as a blurry and scrabbled conversation. What he heard was that his dad was a drunk and his grandfather too, and if heard right, he would be a drunk because it ran in the family. His next thought was one of life being not so bad as opposed to living under a bridge.
His breathing became shallow and fast, but after a few seconds he took one deep breath and said, “Dad, I’m not sure what this all means to me, but before I ask any questions let me talk to mom. You’re s
caring the hell out of me.”
“Son, I know that this is sudden and without warning, but sometimes life is like that. I can only hope that we can weather the storm and come out of this stronger than ever. I need you help son. It’s time for you to be strong and believe that we can survive and look back with more fond memories than bad ones. Now I want to be alone Todd. Thanks for coming and listening to me.”
Todd made his way out the door closing it softly behind him. He walked rather slowly down the stairs to the kitchen where he knew he would probably find his Mom talking to Rosy. He was a little surprised when he found the kitchen empty and quiet. He strolled on through then out the back door to nowhere in particular. Once out the door he just stood there wondering what had just happened between him and his father. Of course he knew about alcohol as they studied it in school and he and his buddies on more than one occasion tipped a few brews behind a barn a time or two. He perked up when he heard a voice calling his name. It was his big sister telling him through the living room window to come in and that Mom wanted to talk to him.
Todd sat down on the long sofa at the opposite end from his sister, his Mom was standing next to the fireplace and Rosy the cook sat in a small chair not so far away from Mom. Todd looked at his Mom with entirely different eyes than he usually did. He saw her as she really was: a Mom and wife that looked much older than her years. He saw the dark circles under her eyes. His sister was sitting there blubbering; he wasn’t up to the task that faced him whatever that task was.
His Mom said, “Todd we are in big trouble financially.”
Todd felt like he had a half a nectarine in his throat, the lump was so big. He couldn’t talk if his life depended on it so he nodded his head.
“Okay, then let me lay it out for you both. We’re in trouble financially and we must make some changes. The first thing we’ll do is sell the airplane and then we’ll sell the horses. We’ll also trim our herd of Angus down for the coming winter. If we’re very careful how we spend our money, we can stay here without having to sell the ranch. Todd, I know how much you would rather live in a city, but for the rest of our family that is not an option we would like. But in the meantime, we’ll have to do without cell phones, TV, but we’ll keep the internet.”
Todd noticed his Mom was next to tears so he finally found his voice and said, “The other day when I was in town, Sammy’s father asked me if I wanted to work this summer around the feed store. I told him I would talk to you and let him know on Monday. He said I could stay with them during the week and come home Saturday night.”
A big smile broke the sad look on his Mom’s face and she said, “Todd that sounds great. Is that something you would like to do?”
“Well, I guess it’s time to make some money of my own and not have to rely on you or dad for spending money.”
Annie broke in and said, “Little brother, that’s so grown up of you and I’m so proud to hear you want to help out. I’ll look for a job too. We need to come together as a family.”
A year later Brandon and Lucy stood with arms around each other in front of the old line shack as fall was in the air. He asked, “Lucy do you remember when we stood here trying to decide to buy this ranch or not?”
“How could I ever forget that day in our lives or for that matter the subsequent years that have passed by? I’ll tell you this husband; I can breathe a lot easier now than a year ago when you went to the clinic.”
“You know people say that family isn’t important anymore and that individualism has taken its place. Well, I want to shout out and hope my voice is heard across the world that family is here to stay and we are living proof of it. I couldn’t be more proud of my family and if it hadn’t been for you and the kids, I would probably be under some bridge curled up with a paper sack clutched to my chest containing a wine bottle.”
Down by the ranch house, Annie stood looking at the two pine trees trying to determine which one she liked the best. The straight and tall pine tree lacked character and the bent one was more of an example of life’s path. Now the message was clear about why one straight the other bent: that it really didn't matter.
Bent Tree Page 2
