by Megyn Ward
Diana disappears into the shop. She seems good with Ellie and I know she’d never do anything to harm her. But Diana was the oldest of a bunch of brothers and sisters and the burden of raising them fell to her a lot of the time. She always told me she didn’t want kids.
I hate leaving Ellie and think how great it would be to take her with me for the day. We could grab some conch fritters and spend the day on the beach, digging sand crabs and splashing in the surf. But I’ve got to make sure Erika gets on that plane.
Diana emerges from the shop and makes her way down to the beach where Ellie and I are building a sand castle. “Thanks for keeping an eye on El for me. I had to make some phone calls. It’ll be nice when Kylie and Zach get back. It’s been hard to keep all the balls in the air alone when it’s usually the three of us working it.”
“No problem. I can think of a lot worse ways to spend time than being with Ellie.” On impulse, I start to sing. “El-eanor, gee I think you’re swell. And you really do me well. You’re my pride and joy, et cetera.”
Ellie’s bright eyes meet mine. “Mommy sings that song. But you sound better than her.”
I laugh. “Good thing it’s not Lauren singing. Then you’d really have to plug your ears.”
Diana glances quickly at Ellie and back at me. Her laugh is more of a nervous chuckle.
Ellie puts her hands on her hips. “But I’m Ellie, not Eleanor.”
“Fair enough.” I want to pick her up and take her with me. Diana and I walk a little way away from Ellie, both of us keeping her in our sights.
Diana sighs. “I wish you could take her with you. I’ve got so much to get done. We have payroll and tax reports and all the diver emails I’ve let slip the last few days. But I can’t get anything done while I’m babysitting.”
“I’d love to take her. But I need to find Erika.”
Diana pushed me. “Go find that bitch. Get her off the island. Then hurry back. We’ve got things to talk about.”
I don’t remember Diana being this bossy. After the rape four years ago, she’s developed a toughness I didn’t know she had. It’s not bad for her to be strong, but I wonder if there’s a softness that will allow anyone back inside.
The only place I can think to go is back to the hotel. I check the room and when it’s still empty, I hurry out to the beach. She’d talked about not getting to see the ocean.
It’s as if she’s been watching for me. She’s focused on me when I spot her at the edge of the water. After a long, unnerving look, she turns her back and jogs into the waves, lifting her knees to work her way deeper.
That’s when I notice the red flag and see the sign indicating a riptide. “Erika!”
She looks over her shoulder. It’s the same move Ellie made when she wanted to make sure I was chasing her. Only Ellie knew it was a game and she giggled and teased. Erika is manipulating me.
She gets thigh high to the waves and dives forward.
Damn it. Erika is not an athlete. She’s naturally thin and petite, but she hasn’t seen the inside of a gym since mandatory PE classes in high school. When the whole crowd went skiing every winter, she’d cuddle by the fireplace in the lodge with a book. That didn’t bother me. She usually made dinner or baked something and pampered me when I returned from a day of outdoor adventure. The one time she skied, I ended up helping her down the bunny hill. All day long. She thought it was cute.
Now she’s swimming into the waves, heading for the riptide. On purpose.
She wants me to save her in some kind of dramatic episode. I suppose she imagines me pulling her from the dangerous waters, realizing how much I love her and we’ll live happily ever after.
What she doesn’t know is that I did save my true love from danger under the waves. But she hadn’t been setting me up. She was brave and adventurous and someone I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with.
I sigh, pull my shirt over my head and take off for the water.
It takes me a couple of minutes to swim out to her. She hasn’t gone far and is already winded.
She shakes her head. I suppose in her mind she’s seeing this tragic heroine, ready to die if she can’t have her love.
I see her dark hair tangled, mascara smudged, her mouth in an awful grimace. “No,” she says it with such drama. “No. Don’t stop me.”
“Come on, Erika.”
She struggles to tread water. “I can’t live without you.”
I lose the battle not to roll my eyes. With a quick movement, I wrap my arm around her chest in a classic lifesaving water carry. “You’ll do fine.”
She’s sobbing and that’s probably not fake. “You don’t understand. I’ve ordered the cake. The flowers.”
We aren’t out that far that a few scissor kicks bring me to where I can stand up. “You’ll find someone new. What about Artie? He’s crazy about you.”
She lets loose with more sobs. “You never saw me in my dress. It makes me so pretty.”
I’m pulling her along by the arm now. She stumbles in the waves but manages to keep up. “You know Brad is always telling me how lucky I am to have you. He’s a good catch.”
She’s still crying. “Brad isn’t even in the top ten percent of the class. He’ll never make the salary you will.”
“But he hates skiing.” It seems like something in his favor as far as she’s concerned.
We make it to the beach and she stands in the sand, looking a lot like my mother’s Cairn terrier after a heavy downpour. I take her by the hand, not letting her get away. “Your flight leaves in four hours. You’re going to get dressed, pack your bag, and I’m going to drive you to the airport and stay with you until you get on that plane.”
It will be the most miserable four hours I’ll ever spend, but I’ll know Lauren and Ellie are safe and when it’s all over, I can finally be with them both.
Chapter 33
Lauren
The water is warm, probably right about 83 degrees. Kylie and Zach tease me about my thin blood but even at these temperatures, I still need a wetsuit. I’ve conditioned myself so now I only wear a shorty, not the full legs and sleeves. But they only need a rash guard and shorts.
Today, we’re not going deep. Only thirty feet max so we can get the benefit of the full sunshine. With more light, the reef lights up with wild colors.
I’m the first in the water. One couple in their forties splash in and descend quickly. From their easy manner, I can tell they’re experienced. They make eye contact and exchange a series of private sign language. It shouldn’t, but their communication hits me full in the gut.
Like me and Blake. We started using a whiteboard to talk underwater. But the more time we spent together, both above and below the waves, the more we developed a language all our own. As I expect with this couple, often we needed little more than a raise of an eyebrow or a tick of our mouth to let the other know exactly what we were thinking.
I can’t let myself go down that path. Blake and I are done.
The others pile off the boat. The twenty-something guy is not an experienced diver. I can tell by the way he’s having trouble equalizing. Even divers who’ve been diving for years have trouble from time to time. A cold or allergies can plug your ears or sometimes you just have an off day. But they don’t get the wild look in their eyes that this guy has. He kicks up a few feet, pinches his nose and closes his eyes. He gets to the same spot, his eyes fly open and he kicks up again. I keep my eye on him to make sure he gets his problem taken care of and calms down.
This won’t be a long dive since we’re limited by the amount of air of the one who burns the fastest. This guy is nervous, which means he’ll be breathing heavy and will use his air quickly.
That will disappoint the experienced pair, who will probably surface with half a tank.
I gather everyone in a group and head us against a mild current. Here, the reef wall descends into a violet so deep it calls for me.
I keep us on top, enjoying the bright colors of the juv
enile fish, who parade in cobalt blue, sunny yellow, flashing greens. The parrot fish show off their pinks and blues. I show the newbie the tube worms that look like flowers, but when you touch them, they suck into their tubes. They aren’t uncommon, but I love them and can’t wait until I can show them to Ellie.
We round a giant head of brain coral to see a turtle making a slow glide to the surface. It’s in no hurry. Watching turtles glide and float is one of the most calming sights I can imagine. But today, I can barely bring myself to pause long enough to let the divers get their pictures.
I swim over to the newbie and ask him how much air he’s got left. He looks startled and I know he’s forgotten to keep his eye on his computer. He’s got a half a tank and I estimate we’ll have ten more minutes before I need to take us up.
Ten more minutes under the water, where I find the most peace. And I’m so agitated this won’t even soothe me. The divers gather around a small cave and I know they’ve found the giant rock crab.
Another fine dusting of guilt for me not pointing it out to them. I know he lives there and divers like to see him. Just as I know the giant neon green moray can often be found at the coral head a few yards behind us. I hadn’t brought that to their attention, either. If I was worth anything, I’d take them left, to where a cave sheltered about a dozen rock lobsters with their antennae whipping around.
Even though others seem annoyed the dive was a short one, due to the newbie sucking his air, it seems to have taken an eternity for me. I’ll need a couple of weeks to recover from all this exposure to the world. There’s no telling how long it will take to regain equilibrium from Blake bursting back into my life.
Time at the quiet compound with Ellie. Painting, hanging out with Gram and Kylie. I’d fight my way and we’d return to our content life.
I don’t have time, though. Gram is going to kick me out if I don’t start earning money soon. And I doubt I’ll ever get over Blake. I hadn’t so far and him returning only sliced open all the scars that had never really healed.
My jaw hurts from clamping my teeth so tight. It’s been a long day and the divers are shredding my nerves to the point my head is throbbing and I can barely stay civil. One mid-twenties diver commented on how much I resemble Liesa Temple. But no one else picked up on it. I gave them all my extra sweet self. Even added a layer of soft southern accent to keep up the image of innocence.
We didn’t see anything truly outrageous underwater today. I usually enjoy the dives, even if the interaction with the customers makes me edgy. But today, the ocean seems more monotone shades of gray than the wonderland it really is.
I often dream about sharing diving with Ellie and most of the time, those fantasies involve Blake being with us. The three of us exploring the world underwater. I hear Blake singing the Little Mermaid song from the Disney movie. My eyes prick with tears and I concentrate on the dock coming into focus.
Keep moving ahead. Keep working. Keep loving Ellie. I make a pact with myself to start a new canvas after I put Ellie to bed tonight. With Kylie and Zach back, I’ll be able to retreat and repair. I can gather my strength to recover from Blake’s intrusion and his rejection.
I owe it to Ellie to get better. She won’t be served at all by a mother who can’t bring herself to be in public.
But that’s a battle for another day. I need to make it through this one first. And to do that, I have to smile and be friendly, get the boat cleaned up and equipment stored, take Ellie home and be a good mother to her.
Guilt keeps its constant hammering behind my eyes. I was anything but a good mother to Ellie in the last twenty-four hours. I brought a man home and fucked him in the living room where she could have seen us and been scarred for life. I exposed her to a guy who will disappear from her life. Okay, that last one might be high drama. Ellie won’t remember Blake or much care if he returns.
That makes me catch my breath. My heart actually hurts. Blake won’t be in Ellie’s life. What if he rejects her? Would he do that?
Not the Blake I know. I don’t want to remember, but I can’t help seeing the look on his face when we made love last night. He wasn’t faking it. The laughter and affection he had for Ellie this morning. That was real.
Blake isn’t like me. He wasn’t trained to be an actor and he wouldn’t pretend to love us even if he could. He isn’t made that way.
Would I be stupid to think Erika lied to me? She lied about Blake knowing Ellie is his. I’m sure of it.
The weight of a thousand pounds lifts from my chest.
She lied.
Maybe she lied about all of it.
Blake does love me and he’ll love Ellie, too. I need to tell him.
Maybe I’m being foolish. Making up Erika’s deception from wishful thinking.
I would be crazy to let Blake leave without facing him and forcing him to tell me he doesn’t want us. It would be wrong not to tell him about Ellie.
The dock is on the horizon and I’m suddenly impatient to arrive. I stand up and yell into the roar of the engine and the blast of sea breeze. “Good dive today?”
I get smiles and nods and a whoo-hoo or two. For them, it is a remarkable day in their vacation. It isn’t a job for them, even if I made it one for me.
“Speaking for everyone at Paradise Found, thank you for choosing us.” I go on with the spiel I normally give as we tie up and they gather their gear. It’s the best I can do because I plan on jumping out before anyone has a chance to stand up. I have to get to the airport before Blake’s plane takes off. I have to stop him.
The other boat is trailing us and I see Diana on the dock, waving and smiling in her best customer service attitude. I’m urging Robert to drive faster even as he cuts the engine to slow us for smooth docking.
We sidle in and I throw Diana the line. She is still bent over tying us down when my feet hit the dock and I start to sprint.
“Where are you going?”
I turn my head. “Can you watch Ellie for a while longer?” I can’t spare a second to tell her anymore.
She stands and raises her voice to catch me before I’m gone. “Ellie isn’t here.”
That stops me with a grip on my chest. I spin around.
The youngsters on the dive pop out on the dock and Diana is trying to grab gear and offer a hand to a middle-aged woman. She’s smiling but I see the tension around her eyes and know she’s irritated I’m not helping.
I hurry back. “What do you mean? Where is she?”
The woman is unsteady and Diana grunts as she pulls her up. She tips her head to the woman. “How did that new mask work for you?”
The woman opens her mouth to answer but I jump ahead of her. “Where is Ellie?”
Diana’s smile falters but she says, “Your parents stopped by to take her for the afternoon.”
Oh my god. “Jonas and Simone? You didn’t let them have Ellie.” The panic rises up like a black wave, thick and acrid.
Diana holds her hand up to the woman to indicate she’ll get back to her. By now, Robert has sensed something is off and he’s on the spot to banter and assist people disembarking.
I tug Diana’s arm because I don’t know what to do. “When? Did they say where they were going?”
Diana frowns. “She’s their granddaughter. I don’t know what the problem is. It’s not like they’re going to kidnap her.”
“That’s exactly what they’re going to do!”
The woman on the dock gasps. “Oh my dear. That’s awful.”
Diana turns her back to me and says, “Not really kidnapping. You know, grandparents always say they’re going to do that when they really mean take the kid and have fun.”
I’m running down the dock before I hear anymore.
Ellie.
I don’t know what Jonas and Simone have in mind but it won’t be good. I jump in Kylie’s pickup and try to remember the name of that producer from the restaurant.
Once on the road, I grab my phone and call Gram. She doesn’t answer. I su
ppose since I’m at work and Kylie is gone, Gram doesn’t think she needs her phone on. I disconnect and call Gram’s landline. Gram usually waits for Deborah to answer that one, but since Deborah isn’t working today, maybe Gram will make an exception. After five rings, I know she won’t.
I need to make a decision whether to drive to Gram’s and check out the house for Jonas and Simone, or go somewhere else. But where?
The producer. What was his name? I finally remember.
Tyrell Carson.
I need to pull over and find a sandy spot next to the road. Mangroves crowd around but there’s enough room for the pickup. The sound of waves crashing on the rocky beach comes through the open pickup windows and I scroll through my contacts looking for someone who could help me.
I finally find the number for Jeri, the director for Liesa’s Life. When Gram canceled the show to protect me and Kylie, Jeri was thrown out of a job. I hadn’t wanted anything to do with the celebrity life I’d abandoned and I hadn’t kept in touch with Jeri. But if Jonas and Simone were up to their old tricks, Jeri might have some knowledge.
Jeri’s phone rings twice before her voice comes at me with a hard edge. “Liesa. How nice of you to call.”
“I know. I’m sorry I haven’t contacted you more since the show.”
“Or at all.” She isn’t friendly.
I don’t have time for finesse. “Look, have you talked to Jonas or Simone lately?”
She hesitates. “You don’t know how to contact your own parents?”
This is taking too long. “No. Yes. I mean, have they asked you about doing another show?”
She laughs. “Right. As if I’d have anything to do with them as long as the earth keeps circling the sun.” She waits a beat. “Or you, either, for that matter.”
I see I have to make some amends. “I’m sorry, Jeri. I know you were doing a job and you did it well enough to keep us on air for four years. But you know as well as I do, it’s not a great way for a kid to grow up. I wasn’t nice to you and for that, I owe you an apology.”
