Always Upbeat / All That

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  “She may have cancer. There, I said it,” I yelled, letting out some of my pent-up frustration.

  My room got silent. Landon got up and put his arm on my shoulder. I cried harder. My cousin bowed his head. I assumed he prayed. It was good to know I had two teammates—friends, no brothers—who really felt my pain.

  The next morning we were on our way to the National Underclassmen Combine. I did not want my mom coming because I did not want her stressed out, as I knew she’d be nervous for me. However, as my favorite cheerleader, she was in the car pumping us all up. I hoped Brenton and Landon would not treat her differently, and they did not, which was cool. They laughed with her, and she enjoyed that we said we were going to represent.

  The three of us were a little uneasy, and we’d hardly slept, but when we stepped onto the football field in Birmingham, Alabama, and saw the massive crowd of top athletes, we knew we were ready.

  My dad was more nervous than my mom. First he was in the stands. Then he was hanging on to the fence. Next he was walking the track and biting his nails. Finally he stood in the end zone where he was kicking at the dirt. The man could not stay still. But I blocked him out. I told Landon and Brenton that this was our time to shine, and if there was one thing we knew how to do, it was to take our play up another notch. The National Underclassmen Combine needed to be ready for us.

  When the head coach, Coach Lot, asked us to assemble for warm-ups, we lined up across the end zone. I stood straight in front of him on the front row, and Brenton and Landon were beside me. We were jumping up and down, hitting each other in the chest, making grunting noises, and firing up everyone around us. Yeah, we were in competition with these other guys, but all of us had done something amazing to get to this level. If we had confidence and enthusiasm for each other, this would be a better experience for us all.

  When stretching was over, Coach Lot came and divided us all up by position. I was no different when it came to leading the drills. I was too hard on myself when it came to the forty because I was the second fastest out of the thirty-nine quarterbacks who were in attendance. Remarkably, it was the same thing when it came to lifting the weights. I lifted 155 pounds twenty-three times. I was second to only one guy. In every other event I performed, I was the best.

  When we moved to actual competition, I showed out too. We worked on three-step, five-step, and seven-step drops. My footwork was on point. All of my balls had tight spirals, and the receivers had no problem catching any of my passes. One of the toughest throws to make is the deep out route, but my arm strength made it happen for me with ease. They rotated quarterbacks in for the competition. When I was on the field, my team was able to move the ball extremely well. I had the most TDs. Coach Lot picked the top ten quarterbacks, and I was in that number.

  In the afternoon when the competition was over, the Combine held a ceremony. Coach Lot stood at the front of the group and announced, “More impressive than being in the top ten in your position is being number one in your position.”

  I could see my dad gritting his teeth when the best linebacker was announced, and he almost ran onto the field when Brenton came forward. When he announced the best wide receiver, and Landon’s name was called, my dad did a dance. My dad yelled louder than any cheerleader I recalled ever hearing when I was named the top quarterback. My dad ran on the field and kissed me on my cheek. I was embarrassed, but I was extremely proud.

  Most days he gives me a hard time, and he makes me feel last when it comes to all the other players. However, that moment when he went that extra step to let me know he was hyped that I had accomplished something really awesome, meant a ton. He showed me his love. We just hugged. Even if he grilled me on the way home, or if the next day’s practice was hell, or if I should disappoint him during the seven-on-seven game that was coming up at the end of the week, I knew that at that very moment he was proud of me. Nothing could take that feeling away.

  To top it all off, there was a tie for the leadership award that was given. Coach Lot announced that it was the first time in the Combine’s history that the award was given to three people from one school. Landon, Brenton, and I represented the Lions with class. Needless to say, we were proud, but we were hungry. On the way home my dad took us to a steakhouse. We were full from our tummies and from his love.

  Seven on seven meant that there were only seven players on offense and seven on defense. We did not really need linemen because there was no hitting permitted. It was really a passing league, and there was a bunch of talk that got around that I was chosen as the top quarterback at the National Underclassmen Combine, and I was only going into my junior year. I had been coached up for years because of my dad, but I was maintaining my dynamic status because of my skills.

  We knew when we stepped off of the bus that the team to beat was Rutland from Bibb County in central Georgia. They were tough. They were mean. And they were gunning for me. When I saw the size of their linebackers, I wondered why they weren’t at the Combine. Then I remembered that not only did you have to be good, but there were fees attached. The higher the level, the more money you had to pay, so some boys who were good opted not to go that route because they could not afford it. Sizing up the big gorillas in front of me, I knew some cats did not need the Combine and camps to get their play out there to college scouts.

  “So all I’m going to say, Lions, is I need intensity. We’re going up against eleven other teams. The team still standing at the end of the day wins the seven-on-seven tournament,” my dad stated with passion.

  The first three games, we breezed through. We were tired on game four. Some guys got cramps, as the heat was the biggest opponent, and it was whipping our tails.

  My dad reeled all of us in and said, “When you’re a Lion, you have courage. You protect what’s yours. Though you’re a beautiful creature, you can get mean and nasty. So dig down deep into yourselves and turn it up another notch. Matter-of-fact, what’s that song you used to sing a couple of years ago? ‘All the Way Turned Up.’ Let’s finish this thing. You guys are the best-conditioned team out here. I know it. Play like it.”

  Though we were struggling in the beginning of game four, we pulled through. During game five the other team was flat, and we basically won because they played so pitifully. Then we had to face the big monster, Rutland, and they were talking noise.

  “Hey, Blake. I heard them boys hurt somebody in the last game. You ain’t really supposed to hit like that. Don’t throw up no high balls ’cause I’m not catching it. I ain’t tryna get no cheap shot,” Landon said, as we scouted out the other guys.

  I wanted to go tell my dad exactly what I’d heard about the opponent, but he was already on it, and he called us in again, and said, “All right, I talked to the refs, and we don’t have to play these guys because a couple of them took some cheap shots. One guy was ejected and can’t even play in this game. So if we don’t want to go, they’ll call it a draw. It’s y’all’s choice. I already like how y’all played. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. We can walk away from this thing and live to fight another day. Our season is more important. It’s a few weeks away, and it’s gonna be a jungle. I need all my Lions ready to roar.”

  We all were eyeing each other. None of us said anything. My dad took that like we were ready to pack it in and go home.

  My eyes got bigger and excited, like a lion’s does when he sees prey he wants to devour. “Hold up, Pops. We ain’t scared. Like from your favorite movie, The Wiz, we’re not like the lion in the beginning of the film. As a matter of fact, we got the brains the Wiz gave Scarecrow, and I know we can outsmart Rutland. We got the heart like Tinman got. We play as a team, and we’re not gonna let each other down. We have the courage of a lion. They might be bigger, but they’re not faster and stronger. Big doesn’t always mean better. Just like Dorothy, we wanna go home. Only difference is, we’re going home with the prize.”

  My teammates started roaring a lion’s call. My dad nodded. We were ready to play.

&n
bsp; They scored the first two touchdowns, making one TD after picking off one of my throws. Though frustrated, I did not lose my head. I kept the team motivated. The next three scores were ours. We went home champions.

  On the bus my dad said, “There are lots of seven-on-seven tournaments going on around the state. Contenders wanted to be in this one because twelve dynamic teams competed—no chumps. You guys came out champions. I’m proud of you men. Proud of your hard work. It pays off. This is only the beginning. Get ready for the jungle, baby, get ready for the jungle! Y’all go out, have yourselves a good time. Take tomorrow off, and I’ll see you first thing Monday morning. On three: one, two, three … Lions!”

  We all roared.

  “When yo’ pops said we can go out, I didn’t know he meant you, too,” Colby, a nagging defensive back came up to me and said later, as we were about to go into a house party.

  Landon had my back and said, “You need to get some skills because we were getting burned in the secondary.”

  Landon looked at me to join him in the roast, but I was feeling too good for the drama. Brenton laughed, letting Colby get the message that his play was sorry. I just stared at the brother.

  “Don’t look at me like that, Blake. My leg was hurting out there today.”

  “I ain’t say nothing to you, man,” I said with my arms up in the air, needing him to back up the accusations I did not deserve.

  “I’m just saying. I know y’all ragging me because it seemed like I wasn’t holding down the secondary. But I’ma be all right. I got the corner covered,” Colby said, hitting is chest.

  I didn’t know whose house I was in. Landon said it was some party, and Brenton and I just tagged along. The place was jumping, and it didn’t look too suspect. Some places I did not need to go into because it just looked like trouble, but this was a calm, peaceful neighborhood, and there did not appear to be any thugs around. I could not go in just any place. I had a rep to protect and a future to be around for.

  Before I walked in, I dialed Charli’s number. “Where you at, baby?” I said, wanting my arms to be around her.

  We did not stay on the phone for three minutes. She was busy and quickly hung up on me. That really got under my skin. I really wanted to tell her how good I had been ballin’, and I also wanted to tell her about the turmoil in my family. However, the one girl who said that she wanted to be mine kept pushing me to the side. That was not cool.

  Brenton came back out and said, “Man, I don’t know. Look a little suspect. I saw some Axes in there. Landon said he straight. He can stay, but it’s not our scene.”

  Brenton did not have to sell me. I was up for avoiding trouble. I did not want to go straight home though. I huffed.

  Brenton said, “No worries, bro. After you take me home, you can go swing by Charli’s place. I know you said you were gonna call her.”

  “She’s with the doggone cheerleading squad having some swimming party.”

  “Let’s go over there,” Brenton smiled and suggested.

  “Yeah, that’s what I told her. She said it was just for the team, some bonding thing, or whatever.”

  “Oh, well, that’s understandable.”

  “Man, whatever. I wanna love on my girl.”

  Brenton shook his head and walked to the car, but I didn’t follow. “I know you aren’t going in there. Man, let’s go,” Brenton said.

  “I’m just gonna go and check it out for a second. Dang.”

  Something told me I should’ve listened to my cousin, but sometimes I just did not want him to think what he said was law. However, I knew I could not stay because there were not only beer bottles everywhere, there were also a couple of drug dealers in the joint giving out samples, two boys beating down some dude, and folks was making out in the main room. This one couple in particular was going at it; they needed to get a room. All of a sudden the girl pushed the guy off, and I was surprised to see Jackie’s face. I immediately turned around and got out of there. I did not know if she saw me or not, and it really wasn’t important.

  I texted Landon and told him he needed to be out too. However, whatever he did was his business. Frankly, I was tired from carrying around my own burdens. What was going on with my mom was weighing me down. Always performing at the high level was stressing me. I was really worn out from trying to figure out Charli, because in the area of showing up when her man needed her, she was failing.

  As soon as I dropped Brenton off, my phone rang. I looked down and saw it was Jackie. I frowned, thinking she had some nerve calling me after her hands were all over some other dude.

  I blurted out, “Hold your breath until I call you.”

  I kept driving along and couldn’t believe I was going home early, but there was no need in staying out when I could barely keep my eyes open. Even if I had another hour before my curfew, I was exhausted and needed to listen to my body and go rest up.

  My phone started vibrating. I picked it up and saw that I had a text. I needed gas, so I pulled into the station to fill up. It was against the law to text and drive in our state. My dad already gave me the talk about being a black male and driving late at night. He told me I needed to look out for driving while black. Sometimes certain policemen give black males a hard time because of the color of their skin. He warned me not to do anything to break the law, and I’d have a better chance of making sure nothing happened. If I did get pulled over, he taught me how to be humble and not be rude so I would not inflate the situation and have tension mount.

  Seeing Jackie’s name, I debated on if I wanted to read Jackie’s text, but the first word on my iPhone said, “Help!!!!”

  My phone rang again. It was her and I answered it. “What’s that about?”

  Jackie did not respond because she was hysterical. She was screaming and crying. I was stunned.

  “Come get me, please. I need you, please,” she finally was able to say.

  Knowing she was in real trouble, I said, “Where are you?”

  “I’m walking outta the neighborhood you were just in. Please, come get me. Please!”

  From her voice, I knew she was not faking. I filled up, got two Gatorades, paid, got back in the car, and headed back to that crazy party.

  Thinking it over, I called Landon. “Dude, you still over there?”

  “Yeah, man,” Landon replied.

  “I’m just letting you know I’m rolling back that way. Jackie called me and …”

  “Good, ’cause you can help her get outta the house.”

  “What do you mean help get her outta the house?”

  “Some dude was coming on too strong. Her cousin KaydaKay was looking for her, and I started getting some smooches, so we jetted out. Find her, all right?”

  “Jackie’s already out of the house. Bye, boy,” I said, hanging up the phone on my partna who was busy trying to get lucky.

  I wanted to make sure he had my back just in case I needed it. I knew there were some loose cannons in the direction I was going. However, Landon had already left the place, trying to get busy.

  Thankfully, Jackie was alone. I saw her on the side of the road, shaking. Quickly, I pulled over, helped her into the car, and asked her, “What happened?”

  But she was talking crazy so I couldn’t make out much of anything she was saying. Then I saw her torn shirt, and when I pulled into a parking lot, I noticed her eye was bruised pretty bad.

  “Oh heck nah. I’m going back over there. This is crazy.”

  “No, no, no,” she kept panting. “Just hold me, please.” After about ten minutes she said, “We were dancing, and the next thing I know he had his hands all over me, and he pushed me up against the wall. He is two times my size, and he was groping me in places that were just disgusting. I was so repulsed I felt frozen, but then I got enough strength to push him off of me. That’s when I saw you leaving. I know you thought I was with him, but we were just dancing. Then the next thing I know, he was tryna take it to a whole different place that I didn’t even want it to g
o. You believe me, don’t you? You do believe me, right? Tell me you believe me, Blake.”

  I wiped her tears, and I didn’t let her go. I became angry. For some reason, I really wanted black men to do better, and for our whole race to act like they had some sense. For any guy to take advantage of a female was completely wrong. I went through the drive-thru and ordered Krystals with cheese. I got a cup of ice, drove around to the side of the parking lot, and put some ice in a napkin. Gently, I laid it on her face. She said ouch, but I kept the ice on and eventually it got more comfortable.

  “He was holding my mouth. He wouldn’t let me scream. Finally when he twisted his hand the right way, I could feel a piece of his palm. I bit it as hard as I could and kneed him. I got away then.”

  I tried to think of who the joker was because he went to my school. I knew seeing her all beat up that this wasn’t over. I wanted to make him pay.

  “When you saw me, something in your eyes let me know that you were disappointed. You told me about dressing too loose. I don’t know if that’s because there are some feelings that you have for me, Blake, or what. But I knew I wanted to be with you, and that guy just wouldn’t let me go. When I called you the first couple of times, I just knew you weren’t gonna come.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said for making her feel dirty and alone. “I’m sorry.”

  I realized holding her that I did actually have feelings for her. I’d told her to cover up because I didn’t want the world looking. I also did not want men thinking they could take what she was advertising.

  “Just hold the ice on your eye, sit back and relax, and I will get you home. Okay?”

  She grabbed both of my hands and said, “Thanks for being a gentleman. Thank you for caring. Thank you for being an example of what every guy should be.”

  Caring, I said, “Just hold it and relax. Don’t worry about none of this.”

  In my mind, I was making a mental picture of what the guy looked like, because in school it was going to be on. He did not need to push on or hit on a female. I wanted him to try that junk with me. The ice was melting, and water from the ice was dripping down Jackie’s shirt. She didn’t move. She was relaxing, but something deep in me was rising. When I saw an indentation pop out from her shirt, it truly made me want to get to know her in every way. Jackie was kinda known for showing a little too much, and at that time I could see it all, and boy did I want to touch. Her low-cut blouse was partially open on one side, and from my view there was an excellent show going on.