I reach out and touch his stubbly cheek. “Liam,” I whisper, “we’ll figure this out. We will. I just want to be with you. Maybe I can help you care for her.”
He looks at me with an expression that sucks the breath from my lungs. “I’ve never loved you more than at this moment.” He takes me in his arms and kisses me, but then draws back. “But I love you too much to ever do that to you. That’s why I have to end our relationship. I’m cutting you loose so you can be free. Free of sadness and burdens that aren’t yours to bear. I want you to be happy. You can’t live in limbo like I’ve been doing for all these years, never knowing if she’s going to live or die. And if you and I stay together, it’ll be as if some part of us, way down deep, will be hoping she dies so we can be free to be together. I don’t want to have a relationship under those kinds of circumstances, where a subconscious part of me might be wishing for my wife’s death. It’s not fair to her, or us. Any of us.” He passes a hand over his eyes. “Don’t you see? My situation will only bring sadness to everyone involved.”
Hot, salty tears roll down my cheeks. “But I love you. And because you love Mia, I love her, too. She’s a part of you, Liam. She’s your family. I love you all the more for standing by her side and never giving up on her. Let me help you. Together we can care for her. We can do this, I know we can.”
He reaches out to hold my face between his large, slightly rough hands. His voice is raw and choked with emotion. “I love you, Abigail. More than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything in my life. But it’s not enough. If you love me as you say you do, then you’ll keep your promise and walk away. You promised you would leave after you knew my secret, after you met Mia and saw the complete truth. So if you love me, you’ll keep your word and walk away forever.”
“No,” I say through sobs. “I won’t. I can’t.”
“We have no other choice,” he says, and then he turns and pushes open the door.
six
Mia is a small, skinny, motionless form lying in the bed. She looks as though she’s asleep, except for the tubes coming from her and the ventilator that rises and falls at her side.
She’s a comatose woman, a woman who has never awoken after that overdose all those years ago. She looks as if she was once very pretty, until time, illness, and immobility sucked away her youth and vitality. Her dark hair is still glossy, the only leftover evidence of her once-existent youth. She looks like Sleeping Beauty, except with a drawn face and skeletal frame. She appears as though she’s barely being kept alive by all of the tubes, monitors, and wires.
My throat pinches tight as I go to the side of the bed. Poor woman.
Liam sits at her other side. He takes her limp hand. “Mel,” he says hoarsely, “I’ve brought someone to meet you.” He meets my eyes across the bed. “Someone I love.”
I take Mia’s other hand. “Nice to meet you,” I whisper. Her hand feels limp and cold in my palm, as if she’s already dead. I blink back hot tears. What a terrible way to live.
Liam is sobbing now, bent over the figure on the bed. My heart aches to see his large shoulders heaving, to see him so broken like this. I can only imagine what he’s suffered all these years. He loves her…and yet he’s trapped by her state. Trapped by what they once had, trapped by the tragedy of it all. It’s so devastatingly sad that I can’t bear it. I need to get away, out of this room.
I stand up, mumbling that I’ll wait for him outside in the hall. He looks up with dark, hollow eyes. “Okay,” he says. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
I’m standing outside the room when Liam joins me a short while later. His eyes are red-rimmed. “Sorry,” he says. “Sometimes it hits me all over again.”
“It probably never gets much easier,” I say.
He looks at me for a long moment. “No, it never does.” He speaks in a calm voice that seems to belie his inner torment. He’s doing a good job of controlling his emotions, I can tell. I’m the one who feels close to breaking down, close to weeping uncontrollably.
“It’s time for you to go,” he says quietly. “I’ll call a driver for you.”
“I don’t want to leave,” I say, but in my heart I know that’s not true. Now it’s my turn to tell lies.
“You promised,” he says.
I don’t answer. In his eyes, I see all the pain he’s been carrying. I want to save him from it, heal him. But I know I can’t. I know I’m in over my head.
I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t know how to handle this situation, or my roiling emotions. I love Liam, and everything I’d said about caring for his wife and being there for him was true. But…seeing her like that, so lifeless and brain-dead…and seeing his distress, along with the tragedy of it all…it knocked the wind out of me.
I need time. Time to gather my thoughts, time to assess my feelings, time to come to terms with the shock of all I’ve learned in this short period of time.
I’m ashamed, deeply ashamed. I’m a coward. I love Liam, but I’m confused. Maybe he was right all along. Maybe he knew me better than I knew myself. He knew I wouldn’t be able to handle the reality of him being married, let alone the reality of him being married to a comatose woman who needs constant care. A woman he still loves. He made an enduring promise to her, and I can’t get in the way of that.
He was right.
I can’t do this.
He’s looking at me as if he can see into my heart, my mind. It unnerves me.
“Go,” he whispers. “I’m setting you free.”
“No,” I say, but I sound weak.
“Goodbye, Abigail,” he says. Then he takes my face and kisses me deeply, with such tenderness and feeling that I know it’s for the last time.
Sobbing, I turn to leave. When I look back, he’s standing in the hallway in front of Mia’s room, looking at me with eyes that devastate me. Eyes that hold a lifetime of pain. Eyes that tell me he’ll always love me.
Then he turns and goes back into her room.
Two weeks later
I’m in my new apartment, sitting on the bed. I’ve just gotten off the phone with Isabella, who told me that Liam is back in town. She found out through Anthony Valenta, who saw Liam at the gym.
Liam hasn’t called since I left Fairmont Estate that day, which doesn’t surprise me. He’d told me our relationship was over, and Liam is a man of his word. It doesn’t lessen the pain, though, of knowing he truly means it.
I haven’t slept much for two weeks. Liam has haunted my dreams every night and filled my thoughts during the day.
Truth be told, I’ve been a confused, muddled mess, not knowing if I did the right thing by leaving him that day.
This morning, though, I woke with a clarity that I haven’t had in a long time. I was suddenly struck by what I needed to do. I called Isabella for confirmation, and she agreed that I should follow my heart.
So here I am, sitting on my bed, trying to get the guts up to go over to Liam’s place. I want to tell him in person what’s been on my mind, and to tell him the realization that I came to this morning.
Finally, when I feel I have enough strength, I kick into gear. I dress quickly, and then take a cab over to Liam’s. I know he’s home because I can see the light on in his penthouse. He’s always a stickler for keeping the lights off when he’s not home.
I tell the doorman I’m here to see Liam Black, and luckily, he lets me through. Either the doorman recognizes me or Liam must not have taken me off the list, which gives me hope.
I ride up with my heart racing. The elevator door opens, and then I’m in Liam’s grand foyer. I knock on his door.
After a long moment, it swings open. He doesn’t look surprised to see me.
“The doorman called when you were on your way up,” he said. “So I knew it was you.” He sounds distant. Seems distant, too, in the way he’s carrying himself. But it’s promising that he opened the door for me.
“Can I come in?” I ask. “There’s something I want to tell you. Something important.”
>
He’s silent for a long moment, but then finally moves to let me in.
The apartment looks the same as when I lived here, except more somber somehow. It’s as if all the promise, joy, and sparkle left the place when we broke up.
He gestures to the sofa, the one with the best view through the floor-to-ceiling window that overlooks the city. “Would you like something to drink?” He sounds so formal, as if we’re strangers.
“Just some water,” I say. “Thanks.”
He goes into the kitchen, takes a glass from the cupboard, and then fills it with filtered spring water from the metal spigot on the sink. He crosses the room and silently hands me the glass. Our fingers touch, and the old familiar tingle jolts through me.
He feels it, too, I can tell, by the look in his eyes, but then he withdraws his hand and takes a seat across from me. “So what brings you here, Abigail?” He seems so guarded, so formal, that a trickle of worry goes through me. Fear, too. Why does he seem so different? Has he really moved on that quickly?
It doesn’t matter. Whether or not I ever see him again, I need to tell him what I came here to say. I can’t go another moment without letting him know. I take a deep breath, trying to calm the racing of my heart.
“Liam,” I begin. “I never should have left Fairmont Estate that day. I should have stayed, even if you wanted me to go. I realize that now. But I was afraid and confused. It was all too much.”
“I’m glad you left,” he says. “You needed to. There was no other way.”
“Yes, there was. I realize that now. It’s what my heart wanted to do, but my mind—and my fears—talked me out of it.” I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment, willing myself to find the courage to say what I need to say clearly, so he understands that my words come from my heart. The deepest part of my heart where the truth lives. Where it has always lived.
“I love you,” I whisper, opening my eyes. “I love you with all of my heart. I want to be with you no matter what, no matter what the circumstances are. We can take each day at a time. I want to help you care for Mia. I want to be there with you and support you and help you. I want to love and care for her alongside of you, for as long as she’s alive. I’m not afraid anymore, Liam. You’re my family, and so is she. I’m ready and willing to do this.” My voice breaks. “I just want you,” I whisper. “All of you.”
Our eyes lock, and it’s as if all barriers have suddenly fallen away. There is such tenderness on his face that tears sting my eyes.
“I love you,” he whispers hoarsely, reaching out to pull me close. “I wanted to come see you, but the time wasn’t right. I’ve been dealing with something and didn’t think it was fair to lay it on you.” He pauses, a shadow passing across his face. “Mia died.”
“Oh no,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”
“She had another seizure the day after you left. They tried everything to save her but couldn’t.” He pauses before continuing. “She’s finally at peace now. I’m thankful for that, at least.” He meets my eyes before continuing. “I didn’t want to rush over as if it was something to celebrate, but truth be told, I’ve felt a great sense of relief, for both Mia and myself…and for you.” His jaw clenches, and he looks away. “Am I a bastard for feeling this way? I loved her, you know.” His voice breaks, and he drops his head to his hands. “I feel such guilt. It’s why I haven’t been able to come see you. I feel so screwed up.”
“Don’t,” I whisper, going to his side. “You’re not screwed up, and you’re not a bastard. You’re human. She loved you and would want you to be happy. That was no way for her to live. She’s at peace now, Liam. She’s finally free. And you two will always have the love you shared. It will always be there. That never dies.”
He turns to look at me, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “You’re the most amazing woman, Abigail. Your love has helped me heal in more ways than I can express.” He crosses the room and takes me in his arms. “I want to start fresh with you,” he whispers hoarsely in ear, “without any lies or secrets between us.”
“I would love nothing more,” I say. “But I want you to know that I don’t feel you lied to me. Not really.” I pull back to look at him. “You see, I realized something profound this morning. The truth is in our hearts, and that’s what’s most important. The rest is just semantics.”
“The rest is just semantics,” he repeats with a wisp of a smile. “I like that.”
I tap his chest, right above his heart. “This is where the truth lies. It’s where it’s been all along, through all of this.”
“Yes,” he whispers huskily. “And the truth is that I love you with all my heart and soul.”
“I know,” I whisper back. “And that’s all that matters.”
“There’s something I want to ask you,” he says, gazing into my eyes with such palpable emotion, such passion and love, that my heart stops beating for a moment. He reaches into his pocket. “I bought it on my way home from Fairmont and have been carrying it with me since. I wanted to rush straight over and give it to you, but then I had second thoughts. After all, Mia had just passed and it didn’t seem right…” He pauses before continuing. “But I felt in my heart that she would give her blessing. She would want me to live again, to love again. I’ve learned how short and fleeting life can be. I don’t want another second to go by without seizing love and happiness. And I want to do it with you.” He lowers himself to one knee and holds out a small black velvet box.
I draw in a sharp breath, unable to believe this is happening. I take the box, my heart thumping double-time, and slowly open it. Inside is a gigantic glittering solitaire. I gasp. “Liam!”
His eyes twinkle. “One perk of being a billionaire is that I can buy the biggest ring in the store.”
“Oh, Liam.” I throw my arms around him.
“Will you marry me?” he whispers.
“Yes,” I say, as tears fill my eyes. “I would love nothing more.”
seven
three months later
Our honeymoon is what you would expect on a four hundred fifty-foot yacht moored off the coast of Sardinia with a private staff on board, gourmet food, twelve staterooms, a swimming pool, cinema room, and every amenity possible. But it isn’t the breathtaking luxury that is making our honeymoon so special.
It’s the lovemaking.
I never knew sex could be so good, but Liam has been rocking my world—literally—since the moment we said “I do.”
Today we’re taking a smaller boat to a private island. Liam says he wants to make love to me on a white-sand beach with the warm Sardinian sea breeze blowing over our naked bodies.
I’m lounging on a deck chair, waiting for my gorgeous husband. I’m wearing my favorite black two-piece bathing suit and black mesh cover-up. My hair is in a high ponytail, and I have on large black sunglasses. I’m holding a glass of Cristal champagne and truly feel like the glamorous, pampered wife of a billionaire. The sparkling turquoise ocean is spread out on all sides of the yacht, and the sun is high overhead, casting a radiant warmth over my sun-screened skin. I feel relaxed and happy. Life is good.
“There’s my beautiful wife,” a deep voice says behind me. I turn to see Liam, wearing nothing but his board shorts. His tanned, fit torso is so delectable that I want to rush over and run a tongue up his abs and pecs. He, in turn, is looking at me as if he wants to devour me.
He approaches me, his eyes glistening with hunger. “You look so sexy I could take you right here.”
I giggle. “Right here on the deck?” A nearby waiter averts his eyes, and then rushes off.
Liam leans down and kisses my cleavage. Laughing, I push him away. “You promised me an island, buddy, so you’re just going to have to wait.”
He slides a finger under the triangle top of my bathing suit. “You look too damn hot and sexy to wait.”
“Well, you’re going to have to.” I coyly push him away and stand, adjusting my bathing suit.
He sighs. “
Such a tease.” He beckons to the motorboat driver, who scurries over. “Mrs. Black and I are ready for our excursion now.” Liam slides his eyes over to me. “Please get the boat ready as fast as you can.”
My cheeks heat at the look in his eyes. I can’t help but notice the thick outline of his erection blooming in his shorts. He’s looking at me as if I’m the most desirable woman in the world. He’s been insatiable ever since our wedding night. It’s as if possessing me forever, having me as his own, has turned him on more than anything.
The feeling is mutual. I love being his wife more than anything in the world. I love knowing that his body, heart, and soul are completely mine. Forever.
The boat is ready for us, and Liam helps me in. He settles in beside me on the plush seats and motions to the driver to start the boat. Soon we’re racing across the sea as ocean spray wisps across our faces. With one hand, Liam reaches up and breaks the ponytail holder on my hair.
“I like seeing your hair wild, just like you,” he growls in my ear. My breath hitches at his tone, so possessive, sexual, and laced with carnal hunger. I stroke a finger over the stiff bulge in his shorts, and he grasps my hand and presses it down on the firm length. Oh, he feels so good! So hard and ready for me. I stroke downward, savoring the evidence of his desire. I’m glad that the boat driver’s back is turned to us, with his eyes trained straight ahead.
Liam laces his fingers through my whipping hair and pulls me in for a kiss.
His lips are warm on mine, soft yet insistent. His nips at my lower lip and circles my top lip with his tongue. I wrap my arms around his neck, and we kiss hungrily as the wind whips over and around us.
Romantic Lies Page 4
