I began to go down the hallway, but my companion said, “No, not there. This way.” Then he led me up a flight of stairs and down a corridor. I thought at first this was some secret route to the emperor’s apartments, but then it struck me as unlikely, for there were no myrmidons here, and it seemed inconceivable to me that any route to the emperor, secret or otherwise, would go unguarded.
My suspicions were confirmed a few moments later when we entered a chamber which led off the corridor. Here I was brought before the person who had summoned me, and it was not the emperor at all, but a woman, sitting in a chair shaped like a giant seashell. Looking at her face, it seemed to me she was young, although there was a good deal of grey in her hair. She wore a dark green gown studded with gems, and had a tiara of emeralds about her head. Several slaves stood around her, and also two other women, wearing clothes that were also very fine, though not so fine as hers.
My companion stepped forward and said, “Here is the man Yreth.”
She said to the courtier, “Good. You may go now: your punishment is over. But the next time it is your turn to dine at my table, you will eat what is put before you.”
The courtier gave a grunt and left us, then the lady turned to me and said, matter-of-factly, “Thank you for accepting my invitation. Your help is sorely needed here. Do you wish to start work immediately?”
Well I was still in a foul mood about the company I had been forced to endure, and my mood was made worse when I realized it was not the emperor who had summoned me, but some other person, obviously of lesser rank.
I said to her, “I will not cast a single binding until I am told exactly who you are, what your relationship is to the emperor, and the exact nature of the work you wish me to do. Also, I want your guarantee, before these witnesses, that I will receive ten thousand arrans for my labours.”
She was startled by my brusque tone, and I think she was on the verge of becoming angry with me, for she said, “You would do well not to speak to me in that way.”
But I said, “Come come, none of that! I am a man of great wealth and power, and I will not be treated as a common servant. State your business with me and be quick about it!”
She was even more taken aback then, and did not seem to know what to say. Her eyes flashed fury, but her lip trembled as if she would weep. For a moment, I regretted my angry words.
But then she seemed to gain control of herself, and she said, in a less arrogant way, “Yes, of course. You have a right to know these things. I am the Imperial Aunt Diaphrone, the daughter of the eighth youngest sister of the emperor’s paternal grandfather.”
I said, “Eighth youngest?” for I wondered how many sisters the emperor’s grandfather had.
She smiled and said, “Yes, indeed! The eighth. We have long felt this a fortuitous placement within the family structure and I am glad to see you are similarly impressed by it.” Then she leaned towards me and said, “I have asked you here, Yreth, in order to entrust you with the care of my child, for he is badly behaved and I cannot control him. Moreover, I fear that his conduct may impair his future advancement in the eyes of the emperor. I have tried to follow the excellent advice in your book, but with little effect, and I suspect your own masterly touch is required. As to your fees, I will gladly pay your ten thousand arrans, if you can successfully train my dear child.”
Now it was my turn to be surprised, for I had blindly assumed I was being summoned about some matter of building, forgetting how, in this part of the world, I was now much better known as a philosopher on the education of children. Still, I did not let my surprise show too much, and although my mouth was agape, I covered for this by quickly picking at my teeth.
Finally, I said, “I will accept the offer. Moreover, I will begin my work immediately, just as soon as I have bathed and eaten. Note, however, the prompt commencement of my work is not because you have asked it—for, as must now be clear, I will not be given orders—but because I am an enthusiastic worker in everything I tackle, and I am keen to make a start.”
Now, you might wonder whether it was wise to take such a strong stand against this woman who, after all, was possessed of considerable rank. However, I quickly perceived that my angry outburst, which might have been a disaster for me, had instead been a stroke of good fortune. It had come purely from the mood of the moment, but I had gained the high ground over the Imperial Aunt and it set us off on the right foot.
One of the women who had been standing by the Imperial Aunt led me out of the bower and showed me my quarters, which included a large pool for bathing. As I inspected it, the woman said to me, “You certainly have a way about you! I have never seen the Imperial Aunt so meek and agreeable.”
It was clear the foul mood I had felt, and the firm hand I took as a result, had been the influence of Heaven upon me, helping me to make my way around these powerful people, so I might be raised to new heights.
Later, in a large hall, I was introduced to Diaphrone’s son. His name was Pandrick, and he was the vilest little toad I have ever met. He was about nine years old, I should say, with a sour, disagreeable expression upon his face, and an upturned nose which reminded me of a bat. He did not nod or take my hand when I came up to greet him, but instead gave a scowl.
I turned to all those present then, for there were dozens of them turned out to see me at work, and I said, “Well, it seems he knows his place in the world, and mine too.”
This got a good laugh, and I could see they thought me an excellent fellow for being so pleasant about the boy’s rudeness.
Then I said to the observers, “Let us see if we may win his love by satisfying his natural appetites.” I took a tray of cakes, which I had requested for the occasion, and held it before the child, saying softly, “There you are, dear Pandrick. Take one of these for yourself.”
The child did not take one of the cakes though. Instead, he kicked up at the tray, sending all the cakes flying. All those present gasped in horror at his rude behaviour. Then the Imperial Aunt said, “He is fond of cheese. Try the plate of cheese.”
It was clear to me, however, I would have no more luck with the cheese than I had had with the cakes, for I now perceived exactly what kind of child I was faced with. Although he was the son of an Imperial Aunt, I had seen his like often enough, playing in rat-infested alleys and splashing in gutters. I knew, too, how to deal with such a child, so I turned to the Imperial Aunt and said, “It is very difficult to work, with so many people around, for the child can see he has an audience, and it makes his behaviour worse. Is there a place, somewhere very quiet, where I might be alone with the child for a time and reason with him?”
She said yes, indeed, there was such a place, and I was taken to a fencing room on one of the lower floors of the palace. I asked then that I might be left quite alone with the boy, with no people around, and no slaves, and no myrmidons. Nothing, in fact, that might distract him. I also asked for another tray of cakes, and some of his favourite cheeses. These, however, were a deception, and I had not the slightest intention of using them.
When we were alone, I looked out of the doorway to make sure there was nobody in the corridor beyond. Then I gave a great shout, crying “Help!” in as loud a voice as I could muster.
I waited for a short time, then I called help again. When no help came, I turned to the boy and said, “You see? Nobody can hear you here.”
He said, “I don’t care.” Then he ran at me, and butted me with his head. Well, almost without thinking, I seized him by the hair and pulled him over backwards, then pulled my throwing-razor from my boot and held its point at his throat.
I said, “Don’t trifle with me child, or I will have your life!” And I meant it, too, for he had made me angry.
He was startled for a moment, but instead of staying that way, he narrowed his eyes, looked up at me in defiance and said, “Make your cut, then, if you will, but remember, the emperor wi
ll put you to death for it.”
I said, “Perhaps I will not kill you. Perhaps I will simply slice off your ear.”
He said, “Kill me or injure me, it will make little difference to your punishment.”
He was right, of course, and I saw I could not inflict any visible hurt upon this child.
I thought on this problem for a moment or two, keeping the child in my grasp, and, as I pondered, I glanced this way and that around the room, looking at the various swords and equipment which were hung up here. Suddenly my eyes fell upon a leather training gauntlet which lay upon a table.
Now, in case you do not know, a training gauntlet is a huge thick glove, with heavy padding upon the palm. It is used by those swordsmen who favour the use of a gauntlet in the left hand instead of a shield or a dagger. For practising, they do not like to use a metal gauntlet, for it damages the opponent’s blade, so they use a leather one in its place.
I put my throwing-razor back in my boot and dropped the child. Then I went over to where the training gauntlet rested. The brat ran up behind me, kicking at the backs of my legs and calling me names, but I did not respond, and instead deliberately let the anger well up inside me. When I put the glove on my hand, the child began to see what I was about, and tried to escape from me. Well, I quickly swatted out with the glove, and gave him a solid blow on the shoulder which sent him sprawling to the carpet, yet without putting any bruise upon him!
I said then, “I am now going to teach you how to nod politely to your visitors. In this way, you will appear noble, and you will come to be loved and respected.”
He responded by spitting at me, but his expression of contempt instantly changed to one of alarm and astonishment as I snatched him from the ground and gave him a very hard blow across the back.
He ran from me then, jumping and twisting like a little ape, and trying with all his heart to reach the door. I was fast, though, and I blocked his every attempt to pass me, swiping at him with the useful glove.
Next he threatened me with magic. He said, “I know a powerful spell. If you strike me again, I will use it upon you, and you will burst open like a grape.”
I called him a liar and struck him a good number of times, saying, “Very well then, use your magic. Burst me open!”
Of course, he did not, because he did not know any magic.
Finally, some of the spirit began to go out of him, although there was still a hatred within his eyes. When he had regained his breath, he said, “You have hurt me. You will be put to death.”
I said, “Show me the bruises and cuts that will be evidence of your claims.”
Well, he looked at his arms and waist, but he could find no bruises or cuts, because, as I have said, the glove did a good job in cushioning all my blows.
Then he said, “I will tell the Imperial Aunt, my mother, what you have done, and she will take me to see the emperor. I will tell him you hurt me without bruising me, using that evil glove.”
I said, “Then I am truly afraid, for I know the emperor will believe your word. That is, unless you are the kind of child who often tells lies, for in this case neither your mother nor the emperor will believe you, and I need fear nothing.” I knew, you see, this was a child who was in the habit of telling lies. Then I said, “Better than that, I will have for myself the great pleasure of bringing you back here the next day and beating you all the harder for trying to have me punished.”
He immediately understood the truth of my arguments, as well as the threat behind them, and he fell silent.
I said, “Now you can see the value of honesty, for if you had been honest in the past, you would not now be in so desperate a position, and would not be left without any official protection from my attacks. However, I rather fancy that if you had been honest and good, your mother would not have seen the need to summon me in the first place. Your sorry plight, then, is one you have brought upon yourself.”
Then I pulled him to his feet and said, “Now, let us begin your training in manners. We will pretend I am a visitor just arrived. Give me a polite nod.”
He would not do it, though, and instead he tried to give me a polite kick. I quickly grabbed his ankle and pulled him over again. Another series of tussles followed, as he, once again, divided his efforts between escaping the room and attacking his teacher. Of course, he came away from the fight very much worse off than I did, and when I next asked him to show me how he should nod to visitors, he gave me a proper nod. We practised these nods for some time.
Eventually, I was satisfied he had learned how to greet his guests, and I said, “We will now return to your mother, and you will remain silent until you are spoken to, whereupon you may answer either ‘Yes, dear Yreth,’ or ‘No, dear Yreth.” Do you understand?”
He did not answer me, so I slapped him with the glove a few times until he finally agreed to my terms. Then he added, very cheekily, “Since I am compelled, I will do as you ask. But if you wish me to be honest, you should not have me call you ‘dear Yreth’ for you are not dear to me, and there will be no truth to my saying you are.”
I replied, “Indeed there is truth to it, for until that time when I am dear to you, you will dearly rue the day you met me.” It was a very clever turn of phrase, and I chuckled as I thought about it afterwards.
I took the child back to its mother then, and she was delighted with my rapid progress. He was surly, as you might expect, but he did what I had told him, even when there were people watching.
Later, I explained to the Imperial Aunt that his lack of smiles was because he was feeling sad. After all, changing one’s nature is always a difficult thing, even when the change is a great improvement.
During the following weeks and months, young Pandrick and I paid many visits to the fencing room, and, gradually, he began to see the value of the lessons I taught him, for he saw that even the slaves treated him better when he assumed a manner more appropriate to his high rank. In time, this noble behaviour started to come more naturally to him, and he began to look more like a cousin to the emperor, and less like a common street sparrow..
Still, I did not want him to behave well in front of others and to be a demon in secret, so I took elaborate steps to spy on him. At first, I watched him from behind windows, and around corners, but he sometimes saw me, so I became more sophisticated in my methods. I made a careful study of the plans of the palace and found a number of places where I might watch him without his knowledge.
For example, he often played in the courtyard, and when he did I would go to one of the cellars, for I had made a discreet crack there, high in the wall, so I might look out over most of the courtyard. If I saw him attacking the other children, I would make a note of it and punish him later.
He played in the garden too, so I secretly had a number of pits dug there, connected by a series of underground tunnels. The pits were covered with sacking, which I made rigid with sheet bindings, then earth and grass was placed on top of this. It looked very solid from above, because the sacking was brown, and the space below it was dark. When I was inside the pit, though, I could easily see out through the holes in the sacking, and if the child moved out of the sight lines of one pit, it was an easy thing for me to scurry underground to a better pit. From this excellent hide, I watched him in all manner of wicked activities. I noted everything, even the most minor infractions, and later on, during my sessions with him, I would tell him of his deeds and seek recompense with the padded gauntlet.
I even spied upon him at night, although I risked my life in doing so, because my hiding place in this instance was high above the ground. You see, I had set a rope along the outside of the palace, running through a number of rings which I had stuck to the wall with point bindings. Each night, I left my room through the window, carefully made my way along the wall, walking upon the rope, then climbed around a corner tower and along another wall to a certain point outside the boy’s r
oom.
This was a dangerous journey, not only because of the risk of falling, but also because of the myrmidons who patrolled the area below. I had told their commander of my nightly excursions, of course, but even so I ran the risk of having some poorly trained myrmidon mistake me for a thief and throw a spear into my back. Still, when I do a job, I try to do it well, and I care little for any danger it might bring me. After all, is not every moment in life fraught with dangers of some kind or another? We have all heard stories of those who flee a war in one town only to die of plague in the next. There are also reliable tales, told by honest men, of people who are sitting at home, in clear and beautiful weather, when suddenly a stray bolt of lightning flashes through the window and strike them dead. Life is innately dangerous and beyond our control, so it is important we accept the fact and take pleasure from its perils.
In any case, once I was outside the boy’s room, I climbed a piece of ornamental tubing up into an old bartizan inhabited chiefly by pigeons. This overhang opened into a small nook above the boy’s room. I had made a hole in the floor of this nook which opened up into a cunningly concealed slit in his ceiling, and from this station I could not only watch him but also hear him talking in his sleep. Later, during our sessions in the fencing room, I would confront him with the wicked things he had said in his dreams, and I would punish him for those words. He was truly astonished at me then, for he surely thought I could read all the secrets of his soul. It was this, I think, which brought me my final victory over the child, and after that he became very docile and easy to teach, not only for me, but also for the other tutors the Imperial Aunt had employed.
Now, you must not imagine I spent my every waking hour peeping through cracks to spy on this child. In fact, my duties as a teacher, both open and furtive, took up no more than a few hours of each day. The rest of the time I wandered freely around the Imperial City of Saskatoon, learning about the place and meeting its people.
The Ultimate Stonemage: A Modest Autobiography Page 25
