"You really miss your mother, don't you?" Mrs. Russell was standing beside me, so close I could have reached out and hugged her.
"Yes," I whispered, feeling a sharp-edged lump fill my throat. "And I'm so scared I'll never see her again. Sometimes I think she doesn't want me anymore." I cried then, letting my tears soak into Bo's fur.
Mrs. Russell touched my hair very gently. I felt her hand linger there, then slowly withdraw. "Don't cry, Tallahassee, don't. She'll come back. Give her a little time."
I wiped my eyes on my sleeve, embarrassed that I'd cried in front of Mrs. Russell. As I stood up, I looked into her eyes, wanting so badly for her to say the magic words, to tell me she knew who my father was, but she said nothing.
"Do you still want me to walk Bo on Saturdays?" I asked.
"Of course I do. I'll call your aunt tonight and tell her." She glanced at her watch and frowned. "Oh, dear, it's after one o'clock. Please apologize to Thelma for me. I'm afraid I've made you late for lunch."
After thanking Mrs. Russell for the cookies and tea, I waved good-bye and ran across the lawn to my bicycle. As I pedaled back to Oglethorpe Street, I thought about everything Mrs. Russell had said, especially about Johnny. I remembered the soft touch of her hand on my hair and the way she had smiled at me. Even if she never told me that I was her granddaughter, I was sure that I was. And I was also sure that she liked me. Otherwise, she never would have allowed me to walk Bo.
Chapter 16
A FEW DAYS LATER Jane and I came home from school and flopped down on Uncle Dan's front porch. It was a very warm day, too hot to go bike riding, too hot to walk to the park, too hot to do anything. Just to irritate us, Fritzi was standing on his hind legs peering through the window at us and barking. I had lived here now for nearly three months, and he still seemed to think I was public enemy number one.
"Poor thing, he wants to come outside," Jane said. "Would Fritzi baby stop barking if we play with you?" She pressed her face against the window and made little kisses against the glass.
"Are you nuts?" I stared at Jane, revolted at the baby talk she was cooing at my enemy. "Don't waste your breath on that monster."
"Oh, I love little dogs. They're so cute." Jane smiled at Fritzi, who continued yapping and jumping up and down at the window.
"Yuck." In my opinion Fritzi wasn't even a dog. He was more like a stuffed sausage on four stubby legs.
"Do you have a doll?" Jane asked suddenly.
"I got one as a going-away present when I left Florida, but she's really ugly." I felt bad saying such a mean thing about poor Melanie, but I didn't want Jane to know that, next to her and Bo, my best friend was a doll.
"I don't play with her or anything," I added so Jane wouldn't get any funny ideas about Melanie and me. "Why? Do you want to have a dolly tea party or something?"
Jane shook her head and laughed. "I was just thinking of something we could do. I've got an old baby carriage at home. Suppose I get it and you get your doll's dress and we dress Fritzi up and push him around in the carriage."
"No way." I stared at Jane. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. Besides, Fritzi would bite your hand off if you tried to put a dress on him."
"Oh, come on, Talley. He'd look so adorable. I've got a little ruffly bonnet he could wear." Jane was poised on the bottom step, ready to run home and get the carriage.
Fritzi barked again, a long series of yaps. I looked at his pointed snout and mean little eyes and burst out laughing at the thought of him wearing a frilly bonnet. He would hate it, and it would serve him right for always being so nasty to me.
After telling Jane to get the carriage and the bonnet, I ran upstairs and picked up Melanie. "This is a terrible thing to do to you," I whispered, "and I apologize, but I have to borrow your dress."
Leaving her on the bed, I ran downstairs and let Jane in. Together we cornered Fritzi in the kitchen. By bribing him with puppy bones, we managed to get the dress and the bonnet on him. Although he snapped and growled, he didn't actually try to bite us, even when Jane sprayed him with some of Aunt Thelma's perfume and jammed him into the carriage.
"You hold him still, and I'll push," Jane said as she opened the back door.
We were halfway down the driveway when Fritzi jumped out of the carriage and ran like a mad dog across the lawn toward the street. He was slowed down considerably by Melanie's dress and the bonnet, which now covered his entire head, but Jane and I couldn't catch him.
I was laughing so hard I could hardly run, and Jane was pushing the doll carriage and shrieking, "My baby, my baby, save my baby!"
Too late, I saw the car coming down the street and Fritzi, blinded by the hat, running out in front of it. "No, Fritzi, no!" I screamed.
Shutting my eyes didn't keep me from hearing squealing brakes and then an awful thump. For a few seconds I stood still, trying to convince myself nothing had happened.
"Oh, no," Jane sobbed. "Oh, no, no, no." Her voice trailed away and I felt her hand close around my arm. "Is he dead?" she whispered.
Opening my eyes, I saw a woman bending over a small bundle of rags in the street. "Is this your dog?" she asked. Her voice was shaking and she looked very upset. "He ran right out in front of me, I couldn't stop."
Slowly, I walked toward her, not wanting to look at Fritzi, fearing what I might see. "Is he—?" I whispered, unable to finish the question.
She shook her head. "He's badly hurt, though. Is your mother home?"
"No." I knelt down beside Fritzi. With trembling hands, I pulled the hat gently back. Fritzi's eyes were open, and he was staring at me. As I put my hand on his head, he whimpered.
"Here comes your aunt!" Jane gasped, and I froze beside Fritzi, watching the old Ford approach and brake to a stop.
The car door opened, and Aunt Thelma emerged. She stared at us for a moment, her face pale, her hands pressed to her mouth. "What happened?" she cried.
"Your dog—he ran in front of me," the woman began to explain, but Aunt Thelma dropped to her knees, pushing me aside.
"Fritzi!" she cried, "Fritzi!"
"It wasn't my fault," the woman said. "These girls had him dressed up in doll clothes. The hat was over his eyes, and he couldn't see a thing."
Ignoring the woman, Aunt Thelma turned to me. "Tallahassee, what have you done?" she screamed.
I backed away, terrified of the anger on her face. "I'm sorry," I said. "We were just playing with him. We didn't mean for him to get hurt."
"Would you like me to drive you to the vet?" the woman asked as Aunt Thelma lifted Fritzi and cradled him against her breast like a baby.
I watched Aunt Thelma get into the woman's car and then I ran after her. Pressing my face against the closed window, I cried, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
Aunt Thelma glared at me through the glass. "You get in the house, Tallahassee Higgins! We'll talk about this when I come back!"
I stepped away from the car, and the woman drove off, leaving Jane and me in the street.
"I think I better go home, Tallahassee," Jane said uneasily.
"I told you it was a dumb idea, didn't I?"
"You don't have to yell at me!" Jane backed away, dragging the doll carriage with her.
"Well, you didn't have to bring that stupid carriage over here and spray perfume all over him!"
"I'm sorry!" Jane shouted. "I didn't know what would happen!" She turned and ran down the street, pushing the carriage ahead of her, and I went into the house, slamming the door behind me.
In my room the first thing I saw was poor Melanie, lying on the bed where I had dumped her, wearing her undies and her little shoes and socks and nothing else. Scooping her up, I fell down on the bed and cried till I fell asleep.
When I woke up, the room was dark and cold, and Uncle Dan was shaking me gently. "Tallahassee," he said, "how about changing into your nightie and getting into bed? It's almost ten o'clock, honey. You slept right through dinner."
"Where's Aunt Thelma?" I sat up, still clutchin
g Melanie.
"She's asleep."
"And Fritzi?"
"He's going to be all right. Got his leg in a cast and a couple of cracked ribs." He patted my shoulder. "Don't you worry. That dog will be his old cantankerous self in no time."
"I didn't mean for him to get hurt, Uncle Dan."
"Oh, I know you didn't, Tallahassee." He gave me a hug. "Your aunt will calm down. Just give her a little time. That dog's like a child to her."
I smoothed Melanie's hair. "She'll never forgive me," I whispered. "I know she won't."
"What?" He bent his head closer to mine and I could smell cigarette smoke clinging to him.
Without thinking about it, I threw my arms around him and pressed my face against the scratchy wool of his shirt. "Oh, Uncle Dan, do you think Liz is ever going to send me that ticket?"
"Sure she will, Talley." He sighed and pulled away from me. "Now you get ready for bed like a good girl, and don't you worry about Fritzi or Liz. Everything will be fine. You'll see."
He got up slowly and left me alone. Quickly, I pulled off my clothes, shivering in the cold, and got into bed. "Oh, Melanie," I whispered, "I know Aunt Thelma will hate me forever now."
"Maybe we should just leave for California," Melanie whispered. "Right this minute."
I shook my head and frowned at her smiling face. "You're so dumb, Melon Head. Don't you know you can't go anywhere without money?"
"Then get some," Melanie said. "Rob a bank or something."
"And besides I'm not exactly sure where Liz is."
"Go to every Big Carrot till you find the right one, dummy." Melanie smirked at me.
I hugged her and lay there for a while, thinking about Liz and how surprised she'd be if I showed up in California. She'd be working, I thought, waiting on tables, and she would come to my table. She wouldn't recognize me right away because my back would be turned.
"And what will you have?" she'd say. "The special is excellent today. Fresh cream of broccoli soup and tuna salad on a croissant."
Then I'd turn around and take off my sunglasses. Liz would gasp as I stood up and did one of my best soft-shoe routines for her, the one that always made her laugh. Grabbing my Glinda the Good Witch Magic Wand, I'd tap her on the head and croon, "Be happy, Liz, be happy."
As I was drifting off to sleep, imagining Liz embracing me, tears of joy pouring down her cheeks, I heard voices from my aunt and uncle's room.
"Dan? Is that you?" Aunt Thelma asked. "I thought you were asleep."
"No, I was just checking on Tallahassee," Uncle Dan said.
"I hope she's satisfied now," Aunt Thelma said. "She's hated poor Fritzi ever since she stepped through our front door."
"Oh, Thelma," Uncle Dan began.
"Don't 'Oh, Thelma' me!" my aunt snapped. "You have a blind spot where that child's concerned. Just like with Liz, you think she can't do anything wrong. You saw where that faith got you with her mother!"
"Tallahassee feels awful about this, Thelma. She never meant to harm that dog. She and Jane were just playing with him, that's all."
"She's a cold, conniving little liar, just like her mother, and she knows you'll believe everything she tells you!"
"You don't mean that, Thelma." Uncle Dan sounded shocked.
"I mean every word of it! I knew I'd be sorry when I said she could stay with us! The sooner she leaves for California the better!"
"I've heard enough!" Uncle Dan's voice rose, too.
"Where are you going?" Aunt Thelma asked.
"Downstairs to sleep on the couch!" Uncle Dan shouted.
"Go ahead then!" Aunt Thelma said. "But don't come moaning to me about your back aching in the morning!"
Then the house got real quiet. I shut my eyes and tried hard to get back to Liz in the Big Carrot, but the things Aunt Thelma had said kept echoing in my head, driving everything else away.
Did she really think I was the kind of person who would be glad an animal was hurt? Even though I didn't like Fritzi, I felt terrible about the accident. All my life I would remember the way he'd run in front of the car and the terrible sound of the brakes. If I could make time go backwards, I would never take Fritzi outside wearing those doll clothes.
"Aunt Thelma's probably sorry the car didn't hit me," I told Melanie. "Only she would have wanted it to kill me, not just break my leg."
"What are you going to do?" Melanie wanted to know. "How can you keep on living with somebody who thinks you're an animal-hating, cold, conniving liar?"
"I'm going to have to run away," I whispered. "I can't stay here, I can't!"
Chapter 17
THE SOUND OF falling rain woke me up early the next morning. "Great," I said to Melanie. "A perfect day—dark and wet and horrible."
Swatting the button on my alarm clock, I lay on my back and listened to the water gurgling down the drainpipes. Closing my eyes, I let myself drift back to sleep.
"Didn't you set your alarm?" Aunt Thelma's voice woke me up. She was standing in the doorway, holding Fritzi. His leg had a cast on it, but otherwise he looked normal. In fact, he even growled at me.
Trying to overlook the nasty edge in her voice, I said, "I'm awfully sorry about Fritzi, Aunt Thelma. I didn't mean for him to get hurt."
"Sometimes sorry isn't enough." Her eyes were as cold as two pebbles on the bottom of a frozen stream.
"But I didn't think he'd jump out of the carriage and run into the street." I could hear my voice rising into a whine, and I tried to control it. "Jane and I were just playing a little game. We didn't mean—"
"I don't want to hear about it, Tallahassee." Icicles dripped from each word she spoke.
"You hate me, don't you?" I felt myself tightening up all over.
"Believe what you like," Aunt Thelma said. "I know you will anyway." Turning her back on me, she started to leave the room. "Get up," she said over her shoulder. "I have to go to work."
"You're a terrible person!" I shouted at her. "No wonder my mother ran away!"
"Don't you dare talk to me like that!" Aunt Thelma swung around, startling Fritzi. "I didn't ask you to come here, I didn't invite you, but while you're in my house, I expect you to keep a civil tongue in your head!"
"It's not your house! It's my grandparents' house, and if they could see how you're treating me, they'd hate you, too!" I cried. "You're the one who should leave! I wish Uncle Dan would divorce you!"
Before she could say anything else, I ran past her and locked myself in the bathroom.
"You come out of there!" Aunt Thelma shouted.
"Not till you leave!"
"Oh, have it your way! I can't be late for work because of you."
Clump, clump, clump, down the stairs she went. As soon as I heard the back door slam, I went into my room and got dressed. Jamming everything I owned into my backpack, I picked up Melanie and the picture of Johnny and ran out into the rainy morning. I knew it was too early to meet Jane, but that was fine. I was still mad at her, anyway.
By the time I got to Mrs. Russell's house, I was wet and cold. Pushing open her front gate, I ran up to the front door and knocked hard.
"Why, Tallahassee, is anything wrong?" Mrs. Russell stepped aside to let me come in.
Dropping my backpack onto the floor, I held out Johnny's picture. "I think you're my grandmother," I shouted, "and I've come to live with you!"
Mrs. Russell took the photograph and stared at me. Then she dropped to her knees and put her arms around me. She let me cry and cry without saying a word.
After I'd calmed down a little, she took me to the kitchen and fixed me a cup of tea. While I was drinking it, she sat quietly across from me. Finally she spoke.
"Would you like to tell me what's happened?" she asked softly.
Everything spilled out, not just Fritzi's accident and the horrible things I'd heard Aunt Thelma say, but also my troubles at school, my fears about Liz, and my hopes about Johnny.
"So I want to stay here with you till Liz sends for me," I said. "I'll be
the best granddaughter in the world, honest I will. I'll help you and take care of Bo and do everything you ask me to. I'll even do my schoolwork," I added, thinking that was probably important to Mrs. Russell. "I won't be any trouble at all, I swear I won't!"
Again she was silent, too silent.
"You don't want me either, do you?" I leapt to my feet, knocking my fragile little cup to the floor. I saw it shatter into pieces like an eggshell as I grabbed my things and ran out the door.
"Tallahassee," I heard Mrs. Russell call, "Tallahassee!"
Ignoring her, I leapt the fence, almost slipping on the wet grass, and plunged through the rain back to Uncle Dan's house. Just as I rounded the corner, I saw Jane coming down the street, carrying her big, purple umbrella.
"Tallahassee, where have you been?" she asked. "I was just at your house, knocking and knocking."
I skidded to a stop and wiped the tears from my cheeks with my sleeve. "I went for a walk," I mumbled, too upset now to be mad at Jane.
"In the rain?" Jane stared at me. "And why do you have all that stuff?"
"Oh, Jane, I have to get away from here, I have to!"
"It's your aunt, isn't it? She must be so mad about Fritzi."
"She really hates me, Jane. And I went to Mrs. Russell and she doesn't want me either. I'm going to California to find Liz, then everything will be all right."
"But how are you going to get there?"
"Hitchhike. Walk. I don't know!"
"I have a lot of money in my piggy bank, Tallahassee," Jane said slowly. "Over fifty dollars. If I give you that, you could buy a bus ticket, I bet."
I sucked in my breath and clutched Melanie against my chest. I had never had a friend like Jane in my whole life. "I'll pay you back," I told her, "as soon as I can."
"Come on, we'll go back to my house and get it." Jane turned around and started running toward home.
"But we're supposed to be at school! What will your mother say?" I shouted as I splashed through the puddles behind her.
"I'll tell her I forgot my homework." Jane dashed up the sidewalk and let herself in the front door.
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