by Suzy Shearer
Dark Desires 2
Her Cravings Mastered
When Jessica Williams escaped an abusive relationship with a sadistic Dom in her late twenties, she vowed to never get involved with dominant men again. For the past fifteen years she has never had a relationship. Instead she dates meek, mild, safe men who she knows can never satisfy her—but at least she knows they can’t dominate her.
Estranged from her father, haunted by her past, filled with fear—can she ever learn to trust again, to love again?
But now she has met Aiden Dowling—a confident, attractive Dom.
Can she allow one man to control her again and hope that he won’t abuse that trust?
Jessica has buried the pain, the humiliation, and the abuse so deep even she won’t believe it. Now she has to decide whether it’s time to either come face to face with her fears and her past or else ignore the chance of happiness Aiden offers.
Genre: BDSM, Contemporary
Length: 79,955 words
HER CRAVINGS MASTERED
Dark Desires 2
Suzy Shearer
SIREN SENSATIONS
Siren Publishing, Inc.
www.SirenPublishing.com
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A SIREN PUBLISHING BOOK
IMPRINT: Siren Sensations
HER CRAVINGS MASTERED
Copyright © 2015 by Suzy Shearer
E-book ISBN: 978-1-63259-033-6
First E-book Publication: March 2015
Cover design by Harris Channing
All art and logo copyright © 2015 by Siren Publishing, Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission.
All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.
PUBLISHER
Siren Publishing, Inc.
www.SirenPublishing.com
Letter to Readers
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DEDICATION
To Karen, for her honesty and friendship…thank you.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Part I: Yesterday Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Part II: Today Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Part III: Tomorrow Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
About the Author
HER CRAVINGS MASTERED
Dark Desires 2
SUZY SHEARER
Copyright © 2015
PART I: YESTERDAY
Chapter One
Jessica sat back in her chair on the deck. She stared unseeing across the glowing city lights, her mind far away as she sighed and shook her head. So much had happened in such a short period of time. He would be expecting some sort of response from her tomorrow night. It was decision time for her. It felt like one of the hardest she would ever make in her life.
She gave another shake of her head.
Her life?
Ha, she thought. What a joke!
She’d messed up big time and been messed up by it even more. Now, at forty-four, she faced a decision that she never thought she’d have to make. She thought back over the past twenty-six years and shuddered.
When had it all gone sour?
Her mother had died when she was thirteen. She could remember hearing her parents, and they had always seemed to be arguing. She’d known her mother was ill but was never told just exactly what was wrong. All she recalled was that suddenly her father insisted she had to go to boarding school and she hated him for it. Especially when she’d only been there for a few months when she was called into the office and told by the principal that her mother was dead and her father was coming to collect her.
The next few months had been a complete blur. Her father had practically ignored her after the funeral. He wouldn’t answer any questions about her mother and Jessica blamed him for her death. She’d grieved in silence, but built up a hatred for her father, as well as blamed him for her mother’s death, and she hated the fact that he wouldn’t share her grief, wouldn’t comfort her.
She’d returned to school. She studied hard over the next few years. Her grades were good, good enough for her to get into the University she wanted. Once there she’d studied computers, majoring in Computer Sciences. Jessica had discovered she had a flair for the subject—in fact she excelled at it and once she had her degree, had the choice of several job offers.
She hadn’t spoken to her father since she’d left the house at eighteen. They’d had a blazing row with her screaming at her father that he had killed her mother and she hated him for it. He had stood there and let her rage at him, not denying anything she threw at him. She had walked out of the house and hadn’t returned. Her father had tried to contact her over the next few years but stubbornly she had ignored all his attempts.
The only way she knew what was happening in his world was by reading the papers. Her fat
her was an extremely wealthy man. A billionaire, with interests in the stock market, real estate, and the media. But she had turned her back on it all.
At twenty-two, she began working for a large security firm—Tech Solutions—who specialised in computer software, computer fraud, and computer security. For the next eleven years, she worked her way up through the company until she was the top specialist in her field of computer security.
So her adult life, her profession, looked so wonderful on paper but hidden behind the words was a sinister shadow—Dennis Finn.
When she was in her late teens and early twenties, unlike most people her age, she’d had no sexual experiences. She thought it was because of the way she looked. She wore thick glasses, she had not cut her hair since she was thirteen and it reached almost to her knees—black, thick and straight. She also knew she was “fat.” All the girls at school had made fun of her and at University she was a loner and often heard other girls talking about her weight and how she was ugly.
Foolishly, she believed it all, it wasn’t until she was in her thirties that she realised that it just wasn’t true. The girls had been jealous of her natural beauty. But at the time, her low self-esteem ensured she’d believed the cruel words and taunts and it affected the way she acted.
She blamed her “fat” and her “ugliness” for her lack of male friends, when in actual fact it was because many people saw her as unapproachable. She preferred solitary company and her natural beauty had many boys and men thinking she was beyond them.
But then along came Dennis.
She’d started working and was twenty three. He was seven years older than her, attractive, and seemingly popular. She’d met him at a function she’d attended for her work.
He singled her out, he pursued her, and she was completely overwhelmed by his attention. Before long, they were an “item.” At first it was wonderful, and she loved the attention he paid her, the way he treated her.
He’d taken her virginity one evening but in the back of her mind she’d thought, is that it? Their sex life wasn’t all that exciting and Jessica blamed herself for that as well, so when Dennis suggested spicing it up, she agreed. He told her that he was an experienced Dom. She had no idea what he was talking about, since she was naive and unworldly. He explained to her that he could satisfy her sexually in ways she couldn’t imagine.
Intrigued, she agreed to allow him to teach her.
Once more, at first it was amazing. He told her she was to become his sub. He slowly introduced her to rope play by tying her up, using the bedpost to have her spread-eagled, then showed her the delights of being paddled and flogged. Jessica finally began to enjoy sex. She began to experience orgasms.
She couldn’t believe how wonderful it felt to be bound and have a man control her, sexually. She thrived on it. Delighted with her body’s reaction, she realised this was what she had been missing. Dennis was delighted also, but not the way she thought as he gradually increased his control. In the bedroom and out. By the end of their first five months together, he was controlling everything she did.
He told her this was what happened between Doms and their subs. That the Dom controlled every aspect of their sub’s life. She meekly accepted it all. There was nothing she did that Dennis didn’t control, except work. She allowed him, gave him, full control.
Naively, she handed him her life on a platter. But then it started.
Slowly and insidiously, he began to systematically abuse her mentally.
Without realising what was happening, she found herself unable to do anything. He would tell her she was incapable of making decisions, that anything she said was “stupid.” Because of her past experiences with others she began to believe all the lies.
Then he began to physically abuse her as well. At first she thought he had gotten carried away in their sex games but subconsciously she knew the truth. She tried to ignore it, tried to make excuses for the things he did. He liked to hurt her, like to humiliate her, wanted to make her suffer.
And suffer she did.
He played on the fact she believed she was overweight. Told her how lucky she was to have him as she was so ugly and she began to believe every word he spewed at her. She already had poor body image, so she fell into his lies. It was years later when she discovered he’d manipulated her into believing she was fat by using her low-self esteem against her.
Never having been outgoing, she became more and more reclusive. At work, she didn’t mix with anyone. She did her job then went home.
Home to more abuse.
From the moment she walked in the door until she left the next day, he would torment her. Her body was always covered in bruises and burns from his cigarettes. He was smart. He would hit her in the places her clothes would cover. Although occasionally he got carried away and left visible bruises on her arms or face.
Sex disappeared, at least for her. Instead he would make her give him oral sex, then beat her. Sometimes he would fuck her, but she hated when he did. She was never excited and it was painful. He blamed her for that. He would insert large dildos into her arse. She would scream with pain as he pushed them into her without using any lubricant. Anything to make her scream, to make her hurt. He would use other things on her, anything he could insert into.
As she sat recalling it, she wondered why she had stayed with Dennis for so long. Had she been so downtrodden that the thought of leaving him was too fearful?
But she had left.
It had taken her six years. Five and a half of those years living in torment and torture before she finally escaped.
The catalyst had been a conversation she overheard one night.
She had been caught in traffic and was fifteen minutes late coming home. Dennis had punished her severely. He had hit her several times with a large wooden paddle he liked to call “his punisher.” She had begged him to stop, crawling into their tiny bedroom, with him still beating her.
“Strip and put this on!” He threw her an under-bust corset. “I’ve got some people coming. You behave or else,” he threatened, his face twisted by his ugly sneer.
“Yes, Sir.”
With shaking hands she’d changed and stood in the living room waiting. When his friends arrived they leered at her.
“Look at her tits!” One came close to her and ogled her breasts.
Another looked her up and down. She felt so dirty under his gaze.
“You’re one lucky bastard, Dennis. A cunt to fuck whenever you want.”
Dennis had merely laughed and asked them to sit down.
“So give me the stuff.”
One handed over a several paged document to Dennis that he wanted Dennis to witness. He read it briefly then signed their papers.
“You.” He pointed at Jessica. “Get us some coffee. Do it quickly!” he warned.
She walked quickly into the kitchen, closing the door behind her. While she was in the kitchen she’d overheard him whispering to the men. She crept close to the door, wondering what he was saying.
“I’m putting the bitch up for sale.”
“What! Why?”
“Look at her. She’s completely broken, there’s no fun anymore.” He’d given a sick laugh that turned Jessica’s stomach.
“I’ve fucked her brain so much that she believes everything I tell her. She bores me now.
“Still I’m pretty sure I can get some good money for her. There’s a guys who wants a dumb submissive fuck. Spoke to a few people last week and a couple are interested.”
Jessica had been shocked, but in a way, it was her salvation. In that instance she finally realised what she’d got herself into. Realised how she had allowed it, she’d empowered him to hurt and brainwash her. It shocked her but it made her recognise that she now had to get out. And get out quick.
With shaking hands she’d made the coffee then carried them back into the room and stood silently watching them. They’d laughed and drank then as they were leaving she’d heard one say he might consider
bidding.
“Might put in a bid myself, Dennis, when’s the auction?”
“Two weeks’ time. One of the guys interested is away so I agreed to wait until he gets back.”
Now she had a timeline.
Dennis had winked at his friends. He gestured to her.
“Come and say good-bye to our guests!”
Jessica walked quickly to the door and stood quietly with her eyes downcast.
“Why don’t you have a feel?”
Jessica was so stunned, she raised her eyes and looked from Dennis to his creepy mates. He had never let anyone touch her before, although he had often made her stand naked in front of them. The mate almost drooled. His greasy hands had run up and down her body. She had flinched and Dennis had pulled at one nipple so hard it had brought tears to her eyes.
His friends had laughed and one had put his hand between her legs and fingered her. Mortified, she felt tears running down her cheeks. Dennis had sworn at her for showing disrespect to him and his friends. He stubbed out his cigarette on her shoulder, laughing as she cried.
When they finally left, he had hit her again and again. He’d torn the corset from her, leaving bloodied marks where the metal clips had gouged the skin of her back. He had laughed and made her suck him off.
She’d finally been allowed to crawl into bed, filled with pain and humiliated beyond belief.
The next day when she went to work, she was called into her boss’s office. He had asked her if she was okay. Looking back, Jessica realised they all knew she was in an abusive relationship but she’d been too blind to see it. She’d mumbled something to her boss and gone back to work.
