Hesitantly, Amelia picked it up and pressed the power button. Up popped her journal. Page after page of her life lay in this tablet, albeit shortened and summarized in ways that distorted certain key facts. It had indeed been encrypted, and she had not forgotten to secure it. Somehow AaQar had broken through.
Amelia swiped to two entries beyond what AaQar had read. It detailed her frustration and depression over "not being taken back yet" and mentioned her "fear of inadequacy of destroying N.A.W." It was not obvious what she was discussing, but Naatos, AaQar, and WroOth had already surprised her. She wouldn't have guessed that they would know about tablets or guns, let alone how to break through passcodes.
No. There was no other way. Unless she chose to leave the tablet behind. But it was possible it might be useful. Amelia bit the inside of her lip, bracing herself. Deleting this just meant Naatos wouldn't have access to her experiences. It was not the same as deleting herself. Then she tapped the screen and deleted the file. It all vanished, winking out of existence.
"May I have a moment?"
Startled, Amelia almost dropped the tablet. "Yes…"
Alita stepped closer to Amelia into the shadows. "I want you to know that I love Inale very much. Even if I didn't always do a good job of showing it." She spoke softly, her voice tinged with shame, tears glistening in her eyes. "She was the Third Nalenth and a blood child. I thought I could be a good mother to her, but…"
Amelia tried to swallow, uncomfortably intense emotions washing over her. "She was difficult?"
"Not intentionally. She was very intelligent. She learned in leaps and bounds, far beyond her years. That was frightening in itself. To have a child look at you and know that they saw everything,…and…given what she was to become…" Her voice trailed off.
"It was best to keep her alone," Amelia said. Part of her understood. The other part of her wanted to go.
"I was always afraid she didn't know how much I loved her. And I did. I never wanted any harm to come to her."
"She knows," Amelia said. "You loved her the best way you could."
Alita's gaze dropped to the green moss-covered ground. "I don't understand Elonumato, and my faith has never been tested more than now. I've heard that the Tue-Rah does this…" She drew in a deep breath. "These are hard times. We must be careful. Not just for ourselves but for those we love."
Amelia pressed her elmis closer to her chest, trying to block the feelings that crept through even with her gloves on. "Yes."
"The one thing I want most right now is to hug my little girl and tell her how much I love her. I wish I could make things better. Do better by her. I don't know if everything is going to be all right. I have faith it will. But please…will you give her something from me?"
"Yes."
Alita stepped forward and hugged her, the motion awkward but sincere. Amelia stiffened. "I know you're Inale. Linufe told me. I do love you, Inale. I don't know how to help you with this, but I do love you."
Amelia pulled away, nodding. "And she loves you." She couldn't say it in the first person.
The tears streamed from Alita's eyes as she squeezed Amelia's hands. "I would have known…eventually. May Elonumato be with you." She turned to Shon and caught his hand in hers. "Take care of her, and bring her back to me. I've missed enough days. Don't make me miss any more."
Amelia ducked her head and turned away. Apparently Alita believed she had some sort of future after the Tue-Rah was restored and Naatos destroyed. Amelia found such a reality unlikely. She had never given much thought to a future beyond the restoration of the Tue-Rah and Naatos's destruction because she had none.
19
On the Road to Polfradon
Amelia, Shon, and Matthu left soon after. The scouts had returned and brought word that there was no sign of Naatos and his troops.
This still didn't comfort Amelia entirely. They settled on the back trails in a roundabout path toward Polfradon, a journey that would take the rest of the day and a little bit of the next.
The tension throughout Amelia's body remained along with unwept tears that threatened to push her over the edge. At the very least, she got to ride Halig. The old one-eyed bear lumbered along, sometimes pausing to take a bite from the berry bushes. Shon's and Matthu's bruins were in similar moods. Not hungry but peckish.
Amelia smiled, not so much because it was funny but because it was better than crying. Matthu laughed, and even Shon chuckled when his bruin stripped an entire three branches of their blueberries in a single bite.
"The appetites of bears aren't as bad as goats," Matthu said. "But I think these three might rival them." He sighed as he settled back in his saddle. "When all this is done, I'm going to Nalthume to relax on the seaside."
Shon nodded. "Whenever this concludes, we'll all need rest. The sea would be very pleasant." He glanced at Amelia. "What about you? What are you going to do, Amelia?"
Few questions bothered Amelia more. She looked down at her hands. Dirt and grass stains smudged her fingerless gloves, wrists, and forearms. The bandage on her arm was filthy now. "I don't know," she said. It sounded better than saying "nothing." Perhaps it was her own morbid realism, but she had avoided thinking of life beyond the Tue-Rah's restoration. There wasn't one. At least not for her. Every path she imagined ended in her death, either by her own hand or others.
"You don't know?" Shon smiled softly. "Doesn't seem like you though."
His smile at once warmed and pained Amelia. She returned it but shook her head. "I…I don't think there is one for me. The curse will probably take my mind completely. If it ever works. Maybe we'll learn more about it in Polfradon." Maybe. But best not to get her hopes up. Even with something known as the Salvation of the Third Nalenth rolling about.
"Sevro's Pact is supposed to be one of the most horrific curses out there. But I cannot imagine that Elonumato would charge you with something that would lead you to such a horrible end if there wasn't a way out," Shon said. "Besides, Joseph didn't raise you to be a killer."
No. He hadn't. She missed him deeply. He had been so cautious in his training of her. Though he had never treated like most of the others in Libysha, he had emphasized the importance of justice tempered with compassion, peacemaking, tenderness, and love. He'd always told her, "It's easier to be cruel than it is to be kind. Better you learn real kindness now and cruelty only when you must." What would he say now?
"Yeah," Matthu echoed. "You've got a future after this, Amelia. It's not like you're a pawn."
Amelia shrugged. "Maybe not. I might be the jester in a very complicated game of chess. Coming in sideways." She smiled slightly. "At least pawns can sometimes become more than what they started as."
"You're much more than a pawn or a jester," Shon said.
"And I don't know. None of it's ever made sense to me." Matthu ducked to avoid a draping branch. "You were just a kid before. And not that I've seen a lot of blade-cold killers, but you don't seem like one to me. Though, it was pretty funny seeing you on WroOth's back like that. What were you trying to do? Strangle him?"
"I was taking him hostage." Amelia bit her lip to stop a laugh, but she smiled nonetheless.
Matthu choked. He struggled to maintain a straight face. "Oh."
"It's all right. You can laugh. I don't mind."
Matthu burst out laughing. "How was that taking him hostage?"
"Maybe it's a special tactic from Eiram," Shon said, a smile twitching at his lips. "Typically, Ayamin find it best to put yourself in a position where the hostage does not have the upper hand."
"I don't know," Matthu said. "I might try that next time. It certainly has the element of surprise."
Amelia laughed as well. It felt so good that more bubbled up. Shon and Matthu laughed too until Shon at last shushed them, tears in his eyes. "We probably should be a bit quieter," he said. "There's no signs that anyone is around, but it's best to be safe rather than sorry."
Three people laughing in a forest would surely stand out if anyone
was nearby to listen. But only a few moments of silence passed before Matthu whispered, "Hostage," and they all burst out laughing again and then fell silent.
They traveled on through the forest toward Polfradon. There were no signs of Naatos or his forces nor any signs of a potential attack. One of the benefits of using bruins as steeds was that they had a stronger sense for danger. So long as the bruins were at ease, the trail was generally safe.
Though Amelia was somewhat quiet, Shon and Matthu shared stories, speaking in quiet tones that were barely audible even for Amelia. They told her about Libysha, her country, her people. There were few faces that she could match to the names, but they reassured her Libysha was a good place. All that she had hoped it would be. And soon it would be even better, returning to its former glory and peaceful existence.
They remained within the safety of the forest for as long as they could, taking advantage of the ample cover of the birches, elms, oaks, sycamores, and maples. Sometimes a rabbit or two scurried across their path, but the bruins were so well-trained they did no more than turn a half-interested glance, then continue on their way.
When the sun began to set, Shon stopped their little group. "We'll take some rest, then keep going at dawn."
The smooth grassy dip in the forest had thick, soft-spined brambles, fragrant heather, and lamb's ear ferns all around. A narrow tributary cut across the east, barely deep enough to provide clean water. Large blueberry bushes flourished along the southern side. The bruins gorged themselves on the berries and the young fig apples that fell from the fruit tree.
Amelia, Shon, and Matthu set up their camp. Amelia gathered some of the fresh fruit from the branches and washed it in the stream while Matthu prepared the dried meat and Shon started a small fire. Matthu filled up the waterskins again, setting them in the water with care to avoid stirring up the dirt and debris.
"Do you think the queen knew who you were before Father told her?" Matthu picked up one of the waterskins from the river and shook the droplets from his hand.
"No." Amelia peeled the rind off one of the fig apples. She tossed the peel into the fire. As soon as it touched the fire, a sweet scent like fresh apple cider and fig newtons filled the air. It brought a smile to Amelia's face. She set the first aside and then peeled another, dropping that peel in. The scent vanished within seconds, disappearing in the smoke. She'd tried burning apple peels in Indiana to get that smell, but most only smoldered and none were the same as this. Particularly during the fall festivals when all of Libysha was alive with the riches of harvest and the conclusion of their fiscal year. "I don't think most would think of it. So far as all of you are concerned, yesterday I was five."
Shon dusted his hands from the bark and soil, finishing the stack of kindling and wood for the rest of the night. "The fact that you call yourself Amelia now makes it a little easier."
"Yeah." Matthu nodded. "I don't see Inale when I look at you. Just Amelia. You're a whole separate person."
"I see you've covered your elmis again," Shon said, sitting beside her.
"Yes," Amelia stared at her covered palms. "They did nothing but make me feel exposed."
"Maybe they aren't going to turn you into a monster," Shon said. "There's very little knowledge about the blood curse. Maybe you have to get really, really, really angry. Or maybe there's a control phrase. If we knew more about Sevro's Pact, we might be able to make better assessments."
"Maybe blood has to touch them," Matthu suggested.
"The point is, I don't think you're a monster. You don't have the look," Shon said.
Amelia smiled faintly and continued peeling another fig apple. "Appearances aren't the best of ways to determine if someone is a threat."
"Appearances have to count for something though, don't they?" Matthu took a bite of one of the peeled fig apples.
Shon made a subtle gesture with his hand.
Standing, Matthu popped the rest of the fig apple in his mouth. "Going to check the…I'm going to scout the area."
Amelia tossed another bit of rind in the fire. The blast of spice filled the air. She resisted the urge to smile. Matthu had no subtlety. Obviously it was time for a pep talk. She stared into the fire as Matthu left the clearing. He slipped into the darkening forest with nothing more than a few crunches to indicate his disappearance.
"Shon…" Amelia slid the blade of the knife into the fruit. "I'm not afraid. I know it's dangerous to expose my elmis. Whatever will be will be, and I will deal with it."
"Yes, but I can't believe Elonumato would let someone who is serving Him go insane for something she can't help. But that's not why I asked Matthu to go." Shon stared down at his open hands.
Amelia put a peeled fig apple in his palm. "Oh?"
"We're heading into a very dangerous situation." Shon set the fig apple on a thick leaf and twisted to face her. "Polfradon is likely to be crawling with Talbokians. If we're going to get the Salvation of the Third Nalenth, the kolagro, and stop Naatos and his brothers, well, we have to make sure nothing holds us back."
Amelia bit the inside of her lip. Despite the fact that Shon spoke with gentle sincerity, she didn't want to be lectured at the moment. He was lucky he was so handsome and had such a pleasant voice. Even if she didn't like what he said, she enjoyed the way he said it. And oh, those sea-blue eyes. That familiar prickling attraction spread through her. She focused harder on the fig apple.
"On the night before a battle or a dangerous mission, the Ayamin believe it is important to clear the mind. All that is thought must be addressed. Fears must be set aside. Doubts rested. Beliefs confronted. Hopes admitted. Even if it seems like a little thing, it needs to be handled so that it does not become an issue. If there's time and a way. And I have something I must confess." Shon placed his hand over hers. "I am drawn to you, Amelia. I know that we have hardly known each another." Shon ducked his head, then leaned closer. "And I've never done this before, so please don't think I am always doing this with women I meet, but…I feel such attraction for you, Amelia. And before we reach Polfradon, I needed to let you know that."
Amelia’s mouth fell open. She hadn't been the only one feeling this way? Warmth flooded through her as soon as she looked into his eyes.
This was wildly inappropriate. She knew that. After all, they needed to focus. She needed to focus. But chastising words did not come. Such gentleness and sincerity in his gaze and his touch. Her mind spiraled down dozens of rabbit trails, each asking what if, focusing not on what she had to do but a future where the Tue-Rah was restored, Naatos stopped, she lived, and…
Amelia closed her eyes. "It's…" She wanted to say it was too fast. But that wasn't the only problem. She had never pursued a romantic relationship with anyone. Not even one of Jacinda's brothers, and Jacinda had offered to set her up more than once. Not that the desire hadn't been there. Oh, it had always existed. At least the longing to belong and be loved. She'd simply crushed it, buried it in training and work. And yet now all of it rose again, invigorated and empowered by his touch. "I feel the same way." Amelia slowly pushed the hair back from her face, a bittersweet pang cutting through her. "But, Shon, this isn't—"
"I know. But if something happens to me, I will know I was honest with you and you with me."
"It's so strange," Amelia whispered. "I feel like I saw into your soul…like something connected. I don't even have to get to know you. I know you. Even though I don't know other important things."
"Exactly!" Shon leaned closer. "At first I thought it might just have been because of the knock that old Machat gave me on the head. But it hasn't faded. We fit, Amelia."
"I can't promise you anything, Shon," Amelia said. Her voice tightened. "There's so much that is yet to be. And this task before me…"
"I'll go with you as far as I can. And if this gives us both something to hope for, then so much the better." Shon squeezed her hand. His forehead pressed against hers. "I always promised myself that when…when something like this happened, I wouldn't hide
it. I'm falling in love with you, Amelia. I don't know where that will lead me, but that almost doesn't matter."
Amelia's breath caught in her throat. This wasn't going to help. She should pull back. But she didn't.
Shon slipped his hand to the back of her head and brushed his lips against hers. The kiss, gentle at first, grew stronger. So natural and warm, as if they had been on this course from the moment they met in the abandoned room. She reached up to touch his face, running the tips of her fingers along his chin and up to his ear. Her heart beat faster, and the coverings over her elmis itched, urging her to peel them away. She wanted to feel his hands on her elmis.
Slowly then, she and Shon pulled back. He kept his hand along the back of her head, and she kept hers against his cheek. "Shon," she whispered. "This is probably the worst time to—"
"The worst time is when there's nothing we can do about it except regret that we never said anything," Shon said. He stroked her hair. "And I hope we can continue this when we have finished invading a fortress with killer shapeshifters."
"I—"
"I'm going to be here for you, Amelia. All the way through this." Shon kissed her forehead. "You don't have to explain what you have to do. You will always have my support."
Amelia closed her eyes, drawing in a deep breath. She hadn't known it, but this was what she needed to hear. "Thank you."
And just like that, it was complete. They drew apart yet remained close, almost touching one another. Most of the sunlight had faded. Only the fire kept the darkness at bay. Crickets chirped all around them, and an owl hooted somewhere in the distance.
"This may be one of the most bizarre stories about how a couple came together I'll ever know," she said. "If we get out of this, we're going to have a lot to talk about."
"Yes, we will." Shon took a bite from the fig apple. He smiled, wiping away the juice that dribbled onto his uniform.
Matthu returned moments later. He sat down on the other side of Amelia, picked up a piece of the dried meat, and took a bite. He stared straight ahead at the fire, but the corners of his lips trembled. He glanced sidelong at Shon and Amelia. "So…you both finished confessing?"
Identity Revealed: The Tue-Rah Chronicles Page 18
