She turned back to her postcard. You’ll be glad to know we’re thinking of making our way back home, she wrote. She heard their front door open and close. She quickly signed her postcard to Alicia and slipped it in the drawer.
‘So you quit?’ Alex said, as he walked towards her.
She got up from her chair and jumped into his arms.
‘I shouldn’t say this, but you look better for it.’
She blushed. His smile still gave her butterflies. She squeezed his waist with her legs and kissed him on the lips. ‘You were right. This morning when you were at the dive school I went in and quit before Dai could fire me for walking out. It is filthy in there.’
‘And this is new?’ Alex asked, letting the fabric of her green kaftan slip between his fingers.
Celeste closed an eye. ‘Last pay cheque. I know I shouldn’t have… but,’
Alex laughed as she released her grip and slid to the floor. ‘You wanted to cheer yourself up? You women are all the same.’ He walked towards the bathroom.
His statement was throwaway. It shouldn’t have hurt but it did. Celeste retrieved her postcard. Her jealousy made her consider how she felt about Alex. But recently she had spoken to her best friend, Alicia and she too thought it was more than a holiday romance.
‘Maybe this is real,’ Alicia said when she had called her friend.
‘I don’t know,’ Celeste had said, holding the receiver in one hand and chewing her fingernails of the other.
‘You’ve been living together. You talk about him every time you call. You can’t help yourself. Bonnie’s going out with a married man and you haven’t even asked about her. It’s unlike you. I was just saying to Rachel the other day that – ’
‘Who’s Rachel?’ Celeste felt a prick of jealousy.
‘A friend. Gorgeous. You’d like her. I met her through Sophia.’
‘Sophia?’ Celeste’s heart sank a little further.
‘You know, the half Indian, half Iranian girl. She’s a member at The Emerald Rooms. I’ll introduce you when you’re back. Apparently it’s the place to be seen these days. It’s where all the young hot bachelors hang out. Anyway, I was saying, I said to Rachel that it must be love. You must be in love!’
5
Barnet, North London
‘So was it love with Alex?’ Elaine asked.
Celeste nodded. ‘I wouldn’t have dyed my hair black for just anyone. But he liked it that way. Said it complemented my grey eyes and naturally red lips. I’ve never needed much lipstick. And I wore red, because that’s what he liked, and bikinis because he preferred them to a one-piece. At the time I thought all couples did things like that, and I suppose they do at the start of a new relationship. But I always had that desire to please Alex, even at the very end.’
‘But you don’t want to please him now?’
Celeste flinched. Her eyes darted around the room. ‘It’s difficult.’ Why was everyone so concerned with how she felt about Alex now? It was hard enough letting go of the memories, without constantly being reminded of him. Thoughts of him making her breakfast in bed on a lazy Saturday and giving her foot-rubs when she had had a long day were always entering her mind when she least expected. He had always been there for her, making sure her needs were met. In Krabi, he had said ‘no’ to a once-in-a-lifetime night dive experience just because she had come down with the flu. And he had looked after her throughout her five-day illness, buying in fresh chicken soup and an armful of flu remedies. Alex had always made time for her back then. He had deserved her unconditional love. But she had to recognise that he had changed. By the end he was no longer the man she had met in Thailand. That love they shared had turned into something else.
It’s unhealthy to think that way, her mother had said. It was because of her mother that she was here, in this room, speaking to Elaine. Elaine, with her curly blond hair and her floaty skirt. But there was no harm in telling Elaine her secrets. Elaine wouldn’t judger her.
‘I still…’ she started.
Elaine tilted her head and looked at her.
‘I still have a lot more to say before we get to the present day. We’re still in Thailand, in 2007.’
6
6th November 2007
Krabi, Thailand
‘Hey, you’re up,’ Celeste whispered in Alex’s ear. She kissed him as he gently opened his eyes. The morning sun flooded their room through the cracks in the wooden shutters.
‘What time is it?’
‘Nine. You don’t have work till later.’
Sitting up, Alex leaned over to his side table and lifted a bottle of water to his lips.
She watched as he drank the half litre without stopping. ‘Why do you always do that?’
‘Do what?’
‘Drink so much water before you even get out of bed.’
‘Because I’m thirsty.’
‘The alcohol and the heat?’
‘Nah, I’ve always done it. Every day, since I was about thirteen. My mother used to say you lose water in your sleep, so you should always wake up and drink some for your brain to function efficiently. I guess it became a habit. Can’t do without it now.’
Celeste grinned.
‘Explains why you’re so clever then.’
Alex put the empty water bottle down. ‘It’s true.’ He leaned over to kiss her, before heading for the shower.
‘Wait, I need to talk to you.’
‘You said that last night,’ Alex said with a wink. ‘I like your kind of talking.’
She felt her cheeks flush. ‘I tried talking to you last night. You got distracted.’
‘Did we not talk, last night?’
‘I want to go back home.’ She looked at Alex. She expected a frown or a twitch of his lips, but there was nothing. She spoke to fill the silence. ‘I’m done with travelling. I’m done with wearing the same clothes day in and day out. I wanna go home. Part of me thought that travelling would satisfy my desire for life. I thought the feeling of constantly wanting more would disappear. But the opposite has happened. I want my old life back.’
Alex smiled.
‘I’ve so much more to achieve. I still want to travel and see the world, but I want to do it wearing pretty shoes and expensive dresses.’ She put her face in her hands. ‘God, that sounds awful, materialistic.’ She looked at Alex and then closed her eyes waiting for his reaction.
Alex laughed. ‘I love you, Celeste Broady.’
Her eyes opened and her jaw dropped. Alex had never said those three words to her before. Thoughts of going home suddenly vanished. Hadn’t Alex only recently confessed, after too much Sangsom, that he had never said ‘I love you’ to anyone. Or had she made it up in one of her daydreams? She shook her head. What was she thinking? Alex Renshaw had just told her that he loved her! A smile spread across her face.
‘You’re not greedy, you’re passionate. You love life. You have ambition coming out of your pores. I’ve seen you sketching designs in that leather-wrapped journal of yours. You’re desperate to get back to what you love doing. We’re kindred spirits, you and I,’ Alex said as he made his way downstairs. Moments later he arrived back upstairs with two glasses and the bottle of champagne. He popped the cork and some of the liquid spilled onto the bed.
‘Don’t waste it! If I didn’t know you better I’d say you were trying to distract me with all this talk of love!’ She wrapped the bed sheets around her. ‘You’ve ignored my question about going home and completely side-tracked me.’
Alex filled the glasses and raised his to hers. ‘To our future as soulmates.’
Celeste took a glass and chinked his. She took a sip. ‘Is it wrong for this to taste good at nine in the morning?’
‘See, kindred.’
‘I’m not letting you get out of this conversation.’
Alex turned away. ‘I’m not sure if I am ready to go back and face the music.’
‘What do you mean?’ she asked, her enthusiasm dipping.
‘Noth
ing.’ Alex sat back down on the bed.
‘Soulmates tell each other everything.’
‘If you want to go back now then…’
Celeste looked around their living space. She couldn’t stay here much longer. She wanted a home, her own home. ‘I don’t think I could last another month out here.’
‘If you need to go…’
She didn’t want to lose Alex and she had already ruined this precious moment because she wanted more. Damn it. Why couldn’t she just let things be, for once? The thought of moving away from him made her feel weak inside. But she had dreams, dreams which wouldn’t come true if they remained in her head. She hadn’t gotten out of East Row by sitting around and waiting for things to happen. If she wanted something, she had to make it happen. But now Alex was a part of her dreams. She wouldn’t go without him. Would he stay on without her? Or was he testing her? It wouldn’t be the first time he wanted Celeste to prove her love, like when he asked her to travel to Krabi with him when she had already made plans to go to Koh Lanta. Alex could be cruel when he wanted.
‘I don’t want to leave you, but,’ Celeste hesitated, ‘I have to go back.’
‘Will you always put everything else ahead of me?’
‘I get the impression you’ll never want to leave this place.’
Alex tilted his head. He seemed to be considering it. ‘Give me a week,’
Celeste nodded, but she had already made up her mind, and for once she wasn’t going to let Alex change it.
7
2nd December 2007
Mayfair, London
‘I’m back!’ Celeste called, as she opened the shop door to Alicia and Bonnie’s boutique.
‘You’re here.’ Alicia looked at her watch. ‘I wasn’t expecting you for at least an hour. What time did your train get in?’ She put down her pen and rushed over to embrace Celeste.
‘You look fantastic, as ever. I’ve missed you so much.’
‘And look at you. Look at your hair!’
‘It was Alex’s idea. Your hair is still as red as ever, beautiful.’
‘Oh my mop is as bad as it’s always been.’
Alicia’s hair was anything but a mop. Her thick red curls glistened like she had just walked out of a salon. ‘A black pixie cut, I would never have thought you would do something like that. You look a little bit like Bonnie. But it suits you. Suits those luscious grey eyes of yours. Love is doing you good,’ Alicia touched the back of Celeste’s head. ‘I so wanted to pick you up from the station. I had pink peonies and everything.’ Alicia pointed to the bunch of flowers on the counter. Bonnie should be here shortly. Did I tell you she sold her share in the boutique and has moved to Edinburgh?’
Celeste pouted. ‘So much has happened whilst I’ve been away. She walked over to the flowers and lifted them to her nose. ‘My favourite. I had to come back before you replaced me with one of those other girls you’ve been hanging round with – Rachel and Sophia.’
‘Oh never mind them. We want to hear all about this Alex guy.’
‘That’s why I’m early. He surprised me at Bristol station. He was waiting outside because he said it was more comfortable to be driven than to take the train. And he wanted to see me.’ Celeste felt a warmth rise to her cheeks.
‘Do men like that still exist?’
‘Men like what?’ Bonnie said from the doorway.
*
‘I just fell in love,’ Bonnie said, half way through their lunch, when Alicia had gone to the ladies.
Celeste eyed her friend. Alicia was right, her dark hair was similar to Bonnie’s, although Bonnie’s hair had grown to just below her shoulders. It suited her and she looked stunning, as always. She had noticed the way the waiter looked at her a second longer when he served them earlier. Bonnie could have had any man she wanted – with long hair or short hair. It was a shame she wanted a married man.
‘I didn’t know he was married at the time and now it’s too late. I’m in love. He’s going to leave his wife though. I know it sounds clichéd, but he is waiting for the right moment. You see, the stupid cow suffers from depression. So he has to find the right time.’
Celeste played with the remainder of her eggs Benedict. ‘I’m not going to judge you. You can’t help who you fall in love with.’
Bonnie put her hand on her forearm. ‘I was worried about what you’d think. I couldn’t have both you and Alicia against me. That would be terrible.’
‘Alicia’s only trying to help. She cares for you. She doesn’t want to see you as the other woman your whole life. She’s experienced it, remember?’
‘Oh yes. She hasn’t let me forget about her sister’s episode.’
‘Episode! It was more like a life sentence. Portia spent four years waiting in the wings for a man, who let’s face it, never loved her.’
‘I’m not Portia. I know what I’m doing.’
‘What are you two gossiping about?’ Alicia said, returning to their table.
Celeste looked up at Alicia as she squeezed past the wooden pillar back into her seat. ‘I was telling her about the Alex Renshaw.’
‘You didn’t mention his surname before. I don’t suppose he’s an actual Renshaw, is he?’
Celeste nodded. When she had told her parents about Alex her father had claimed to have heard of the family. She had been stunned into silence when her father said that Warwick Renshaw, Alex’s dad, was frequently in the papers as one of Britain’s richest men.
‘Explains why he’s such a gentleman,’ said Alicia.
‘So you know about the Renshaws?’
‘I’ve heard about them. I’m sure Mummy and Daddy used to go to the Renshaws’ for their annual summer ball. They used to have the most extravagant parties until his mother died. Poor woman. Now his father has someone half his age. Warwick has quite a reputation, and they say that Alex…’ Alicia trailed off. ‘So you’re meeting his dad tonight, you said?’
‘What do they say?’ Celeste asked.
‘Oh nothing.’ Alicia shot Bonnie a curious look that didn’t go unnoticed by Celeste.
‘What do they say about Alex?’ Celeste asked. Her pulse quickened. She didn’t like that her friends knew something that she didn’t about the man she was in love with.
‘I heard that he takes after his father,’ Alicia said softly. ‘But you know how people gossip and make up the most ghastly rumours. Which reminds me, I must introduce you to Rachel and Sophia. They are horribly attracted to gossip. It’s quite terrible, but quite interesting too. I try and avoid their club though, Bonnie’s a member….’
‘Was a member,’ Bonnie said.
‘It’s full of wannabes and I don’t want to be tarnished with the same brush. Instead I just meet the girls for coffee and a catch up, but they can’t go too long without something alcoholic.’
‘Alex’s been quite honest about his past. I know he wasn’t a saint,’ Celeste said, ignoring Alicia’s diversion. She couldn’t help but think of the phrase like father, like son.
‘A saint he was not,’ Bonnie said. ‘But… no… I mean it was all such a long time ago. And I’m sure not all of it’s true.’
‘He’s told you about his past. That’s a first for any man,’ Alicia said.
Celeste twisted the stem of her wine glass in her fingers. She looked up at Bonnie and felt envious. Her naturally dark hair, almond shaped eyes and quick wit made her stand out in a crowd. Alex’s wealth had been news to her when her father had told her what he knew, and something had changed between them. Alex was the same, but she felt a little inadequate, like she wasn’t good enough for him. She was sure that someone like Bonnie would be someone Alex would consider as marriage material. She could perhaps compete in the looks department, but she could never compete with a private-school upbringing. ‘I didn’t know anything about the Renshaws when I met him, and he never spoke of money.’
‘Well, would it have changed things if he had?’ Alicia asked.
‘I guess not.’
&nb
sp; ‘Is he going to work for his father? I’ve heard Warwick’s very astute when it comes to business. He doesn’t take any prisoners. Although I’m not sure if that applies to his sons.’
‘Alex’s taking a job with his dad till he finds his feet. He’s not happy about it, but it’ll get him started.’
‘If your parents can help you out a little, you should take advantage of it. Alicia and I wouldn’t be where we are without the bank of mum and dad.’
‘I guess not,’ Celeste said with a smile. She could never borrow from her parents. They had less than her. Her mind started to drift. ‘There is something about Alex that does bother me though.’
‘What’s that?’ Bonnie said, leaning forward.
‘When we were in Thailand we used to go to this club on the beach, get drunk on Sangsom and dance the night away.’
‘Nothing wrong with that!’
‘It’s not that. It was just this one time a guy started dancing next to me, you know – up close. Alex had gone to the bar and I was drunk. I didn’t even notice the creep behind me. Before I knew it, Alex had returned and had punched the guy, right in his face. I mean, I’m sure that guy didn’t mean any harm. You know what guys are like in nightclubs.’
Bonnie made a face. ‘Did you ask Alex why he did it?’
‘He said the guy was trying to rub up against me and was trying to put his hand up my skirt. I was drunk, but not that drunk. I would have known if some stranger was trying to touch me. Later, he confessed that he wasn’t sure. But he likes being in control. The anger of not being in control of the situation took over, I guess, and he just saw red. He hit him before he knew it.’
‘Some men are like that. They get all territorial and possessive. You should be flattered by his jealousy. You don’t think he would harm you?’ Bonnie asked.
Celeste shook her head.
‘Well, that’s fine then. We all have our flaws. As long as he doesn’t make it a habit.’
Poison in the Water Page 3
