She looked expectantly at Maryanne, but she didn’t say another word on the matter. She just picked up the phone and organised her morning. Celeste swallowed back the lump in her throat.
22
Barnet, North London
‘We never had a honeymoon.’
‘They required you at Cross sooner than you expected?’ Elaine asked.
‘Please, I wasn’t that important, just a pawn in their little game. I know that now. I blame myself about Maryanne.’
‘Why’s that?’
Celeste fiddled with the gold chain that hung around her neck. The gold bumblebee swung as she pulled at the necklace. ‘I should have seen it coming.’
‘What?’
‘All of it – the investment, the sickness.’
Elaine looked at her notes. ‘Celeste, you’re losing me. What should you have seen? Who was sick?’
Celeste narrowed her eyes. ‘Maryanne was sick. I found that out much later, when it was too late. She tried to save me.’
‘How?’
She leaned back in her chair and looked out of the window. It was dark outside and eerily quiet. She looked at the ticking clock on the wall. ‘We’ll get there.’
‘You were married weren’t you, Elaine? Where did you go on honeymoon?’
‘Lake Como.’
‘I hear it’s beautiful.’
‘It is.’
‘How would you feel if your husband was too busy to go on honeymoon? Would you be angry?’
‘I suppose I would.’
‘At the time I wasn’t angry. Not at all, but afterwards, I was angry.’
‘You didn’t mind at the time?’
‘It all made sense then. The reasons as to why we couldn’t go. Alex was heading up Renshaw in Hong Kong. Doing what exactly, I don’t know. I tried asking him several times but he kept his business dealings to himself. Sometimes he would tell me about a difficult investor or a deal going wrong and words like Nasdaq and Nikkei and SEHK soon became familiar but no matter how much I tried to find out or learn about it, Alex shut me out. He was either too busy to explain or he lost his patience with me. I should have pushed him harder. But he always said that fashion and finance were worlds apart.
‘We were off to Hong Kong. I had the world at my feet. Yet again things were going my way. Maryanne had been right – Alex Renshaw was my lucky charm. And I was a Renshaw now. I saw Hong Kong as one long honeymoon. And don’t forget, I too was busy with the excitement of heading up my own design team. Hong Kong is at the cutting edge of fashion. They want everything there before it hits stores in Britain. I remember geometric cuts were huge over there when we moved. My first design was a plaid tunic cut on the angle. We sold out within a week.’
‘A honeymoon is when newly-weds take time out to be on their own. Get to know each other in private. It’s a time when you shouldn’t have to think about the daily stresses of life. Some people say it is the foundation of a successful marriage.’
Celeste laughed. ‘Maybe, back in the day, when couples met for the first time at the altar. I knew everything about Alex by the time we got married.’ She hesitated, ‘On second thoughts, perhaps you’re right.’
‘Did the wedding go as planned?’
‘You could say that.’
‘Was it a grand affair?’
‘You would think that, wouldn’t you? That it would be grand. Hundreds of well-to-do people.’
‘You didn’t want a big, glamorous wedding?’
‘In my mind, it was going to be alternative, edgy. I was thinking of an over-the-top cake from Chocccywoccydoodah, in tiers of white chocolate with a gold candelabra and maybe a skull – a little McQueen-esque. I am a designer after all. ’ She looked at her tan brogues, khaki cardigan and black trousers. An outfit she would never have worn five years ago.
‘Alex liked things a certain way, a skull on a wedding cake was out of the question. We stuck to a seven tier classic white cake.’
‘Alex liked to keep things traditional.’
‘Alex liked his way, and, more importantly, his way of life.’
‘His way of life?’
‘I eventually got used to it. Waiters were always tipped generously, so we always got the best table. We flew business class, first class sometimes. Taxis everywhere. He even had a chauffer pick me up when needed. Before we were married, I was reluctant to give in to this way of living, and in a way I was still getting used to the perks of dating a rich man. After marriage it became a way of life, and soon I didn’t think of it as an extravagance anymore. To me the luxuries had become necessities, and living in Hong Kong we had more glitz and glamour than you could imagine. But when I was planning a wedding I was still a Broady. Having a big glamorous wedding at Blenheim Palace, as suggested by his father, seemed a bit fraudulent to me. I was scared. I guess I wasn’t sure if I could pull it off.’
‘Because you grew up with so little?’
‘I suppose,’ Celeste said, studying the floor.
‘Alex asked me what kind of a wedding I had in mind when we decided to bring the date forward. Some girls dream of their wedding all their lives. They know exactly what they want. But I wasn’t like that. It all happened so quickly, so I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I had an idea of an art gallery wedding or something like that, but I knew the mention of that would set Alex’s eyes rolling after the cake conversation. And the wedding was about us, not about me. So I ummed and aahed and ended the conversation. Later that day I bought ten wedding and bride magazines and confused myself so much that I nearly called the wedding off. I don’t know why. I don’t know what happened.’
‘Pre-wedding nerves are natural.’
Celeste shrugged. ‘I’m not sure it was that. Perhaps it was the fear of being swallowed alive into the Renshaw empire. It turned out to be a small wedding. Fifty guests. I suppose if I’d married any old Joe Bloggs, fifty guests would have seemed like a big wedding. It was elegant though – everything in blue and white. It sounds clinical, but it wasn’t. My mother has a picture of the full wedding party and it looks like something out of a movie. Alex paid a fortune for some top London photographer, a Lawrence someone or the other. I think he shot the Royals at some stage in his career.’ She let her mind drift. A smile formed on her lips. ‘But I mustn’t be bitter. Alicia once told me that I should cherish the memories.’
‘Alicia’s right. We can’t look back on our lives with regret. We have to appreciate our past, it makes us what we are today. Just because your wedding didn’t necessarily turn out how you had planned, doesn’t mean that you have to make every memory that you have a bad one.’
‘I often wonder this – if you have a perfect wedding, does that mean your marriage won’t be perfect? On my parents’ wedding day it didn’t stop raining. They could only afford sausage rolls and egg salad, and the cake fell off the stand. They have one of the strongest marriages I know. Do you think statisticians have done some research on the correlation of a good wedding day to an unhappy marriage?’
‘Your parents didn’t enjoy their wedding?’
Celeste bit her lower lip. ‘They loved it. My mother always says it was perfect.’
‘There you go. I think you have your answer.’
‘Very clever.’
‘Did your wedding turn out how you had wanted?’
‘I suppose. I worried that as the bride, my parents would have to foot this huge bill. Of course I would have paid, but…’
‘Did Alex expect your parents to contribute?’
‘Alex was a doll about the whole thing. A few nights after my fight with Bonnie and Alicia he took me out to dinner – a tiny little Italian in Soho – not pretentious or anything like he usually insisted on. Alex was so adorable and understanding then. I didn’t have to say a word. Over a glass of Sauvignon he said that if I was fine with it, he would book the wedding planner who organised his brother’s wedding, and she would sort out whatever needed doing. He also said that he was going to pay the entire bill. Not
his father or his company. He was going to pay for it all. I think he knew I was worried what his father would think if they had to pay for it. Alex paying for it all meant that they would never have known. I felt hugely relieved.’
‘Did you get on with his father and the rest of his family?’
‘Alex was close to Warwick; and Graham, despite what he said about his inability to run Renshaw. If it’s one thing the three of them agreed on it was food, so I got to know Graham and Warwick through that medium. They were often in London for Renshaw business so we all used to meet up. And Warwick hosted a boozy Sunday lunch most weekends. Graham and his wife Sarah would always be there. Warwick used to enjoy teasing Alex about the two cars he wrote off in his younger years and his one expulsion from school for smoking in the boys’ loos. I got the impression that when they were growing up Alex was the naughty one of the two, a bit of a handful, but the golden boy as well – the son that couldn’t do wrong.’
‘And Graham, was he the inept older brother Alex made him out to be?’
‘I could see Graham watching Warwick and Alex interacting with one another. His gaze would become intense. He used to be in a trance-like state watching them, until Sarah squeezed his leg and whispered something in his ear. It was clear that Warwick lavished Alex with attention and left him out in the cold. I guess Warwick saw himself in Alex – they both liked to work hard and play hard. Graham on the other hand was quiet and had been with his wife Sarah forever. He was the good son who probably wanted to pursue a career in IT, not the financial markets.’
‘A disappointment to his father?’
Celeste frowned. ‘I wouldn’t say that. Occasionally, Warwick would talk to Graham about emerging markets and futures, complex things to do with Renshaw that went way over my head. Alex was often left out. It never bothered him though. I found out why later, much later. But to answer your question, I got on well with his family. Warwick was always kind to me. He always asked about Cross and really listened. His eyes didn’t glaze over the way some do when I talk shop.’
‘You mentioned the wedding planner before.’
‘We had differing opinions. She had started her career in some Renshaw enterprise and was fiercely loyal to them. She dictated on the flowers and the colour scheme so it matched the Renshaw coat of arms. She belittled my ideas. Of course, she never said anything to me, but I could tell by the way her eyebrows twitched at my suggestions. “Fashion and weddings are two different things,” she said to me once when I reminded her I was a designer. She was wrong. They’re not that different at all.’
‘Did you discuss this with Alex?’
‘He was so busy with work and flying up and down to Hong Kong, I didn’t want to bother him. Plus, with everything that was happening at Cross I was glad of the help and that it wasn’t Kealana helping out.’
‘Could your mother have helped?’
Celeste laughed. ‘I love my mother, but our tastes are so different, and she would have had a heart-attack if she knew how much the flowers alone had cost. I didn’t want to burden anyone, and Alex was paying for the wedding planner’s services. God knows how much she charged. I overheard her say to the caterer that I was hard work. I should have told Alex then, but I didn’t. And Alex liked the way she worked. He liked her attention to detail, her efficiency. Alex was the sort of person who wanted everything catalogued. All his socks were in one drawer, each pair in a separate compartment, his pants in another. He separated his white T-Shirts from the blue ones and the black ones. One year I gave him a label maker as a birthday present, he loved it. I knew a wedding planner would get everything perfect. Alex liked perfect. It was an easy solution. At the time I was happy to accommodate.’
‘Did your friends and family attend?’
Celeste picked at an invisible piece of fluff on her cardigan and then looked at her watch. ‘I didn’t want Bonnie to be part of the wedding party after what had happened. I admit I said some horrible stuff to her too, but I couldn’t forgive her for how she made me feel. I was unsure about Alicia. Plus, Maryanne had let me down. I decided against bridesmaids in the end.’
‘How did you feel about Maryanne not attending?’
‘I was so angry. I complained to Alex, but I could see that “what did you expect” look in his eye. He never liked Maryanne.’
‘You forgave her?’
‘I had to with the move to Hong Kong. I had so much going on and I needed her help.’
‘Did you get to the bottom of why she didn’t attend?’
Celeste held on to the gold bumblebee pendant. ‘Eventually, when it was too late.’
‘Do you want to expand on that?’
She shook her head.
‘So did Alicia and Bonnie come to the wedding?’
‘They came. I didn’t speak to them much. Alicia was flirting with Bill. It annoyed me. Her new boyfriend, Tom, doted on her, but he couldn’t make it. It was mean of her.’
‘Why did it annoy you?’
Celeste shrugged. ‘It just did. Bill left his wife at home because she was unwell. I had fought with Bonnie about her cheating with a married man, and here Alicia was flirting with Bill, who was also married. It didn’t seem right.’
‘Were you close to Bill?’
Her breathing quickened. ‘I suppose. He was always at our house. We spent time together, Alex, Bill and I. We used to tease him, call him Alex’s other woman. I resented it sometimes when they travelled together on a business endeavour and I couldn’t go because of a work commitment. “Chasing money” is a term they used when they had to fly somewhere for business. Bill always used to check up on me when Alex was away, despite Alex’s jealousy. That was nice of him. Of course, after Alex proposed he stopped flirting with me. Alex may have said something – or perhaps it was an unspoken rule between them.’
‘Do you think you were upset that Alicia was flirting with your friend? Someone you were close to – someone Alex was once jealous of losing you to, as opposed to a moralistic issue with adultery?’
‘What are you trying to say?’
‘Was adultery the only reason you were annoyed?’
‘No,’ Celeste snapped. She took a deep breath. ‘I suppose you are right. Bill was my friend, and she was taking his time. I made up with Alicia soon after the wedding though. She made that happen, and I was grateful to her for that. She called and texted until she was back in my life. She was persistent and she knew how to make me smile.’
Celeste leaned back in her chair. Despite her initial reservations about talking to Elaine she was glad that she had finally opened up. She felt a sense of lightness. ‘So that was London,’ she said.
‘And how were things between you and Alex in Hong Kong?’
‘Hong Kong? That was when the fun really started.’
Part II
23
Barnet, North London
‘You look well, not like when that picture was taken. Do you feel better?’ Elaine asked, her eyes moving from the picture on the desk to Celeste.
She nodded. ‘I eat well, I run. I even go for a swim when I get the chance.’
‘How do you feel about being here?’
‘This place?’ Celeste looked around her and shrugged.
‘Is talking to me helping?’
‘I suppose.’
‘Clichéd I know, but a problem shared is a problem halved.’ Elaine smiled.
‘You sound like my mother. Please don’t treat me like her.’
‘How does your mother treat you?’
‘Like I’m a foxglove – delicate and fragile but dangerous at the same time. I catch her looking at me sometimes, staring. Like she’s waiting for me to do something. Sometimes I think I should do something just to give her a scare.’
‘Like what?’
‘I don’t know, but we all know what I’m capable of.’
‘Do you think your mother is trying to hurt you?’
Celeste shook her head. ‘I’m not stupid. She’s helping. I wouldn�
��t be here otherwise. I only came here because of her. I owed her that.’
‘Parents can be like that. They know their children better than we think.’
Did her mother know what was going through her mind? Did she know what she needed to do to make the pain truly disappear? Is that why she was keen on suggesting this place?
‘So, Hong Kong?’
Celeste chewed her thumbnail.
‘Water?’
She nodded. Elaine stood up and walked over to the water cooler. She poured water into a cup and handed it to Celeste before she sat back down.
‘Take your time. We have time.’
‘Do we?’ Celeste raised an eyebrow.
Elaine looked at the door.
‘Some of my best memories with Alex are from Hong Kong. But it was there that my life changed. There are some recollections I wish I could erase from my mind.’
‘They’re painful?’
‘Raw, infected wounds that won’t heal. Sometimes I want nothing more than to pierce…’ She trailed off, tears brimming, her fists clenched.
‘What kind of memories?’
Celeste shook her head.
‘Okay, tell me about some of the good times. Did you move to Hong Kong straight away?’
‘In the beginning I lived between London and Hong Kong. We had the money to allow me to do that. Well, Alex had that kind of money. I got on a plane as if it were a bus. Fourteen hours in the air business class is not so bad.’
‘But you eventually settled there?’
‘Until about two years ago, Hong Kong was my home.’
24
2nd April 2009
Causeway Bay, Hong Kong
The air was thick and humid. The taxi stopped as close to Cross as the roadworks permitted, and Celeste had to walk past herbal medicine shops and fast food chains advertising prawn balls with xo sauce and all-you-can-eat dim sum before she reached the cool air conditioning of the store.
Poison in the Water Page 9
