by Kat Catesby
“Oh, ye of little faith,” I wink at him as he clears the last of the dinner plates into the dishwasher and comes to stand with his arms around my waist. He plants a gentle kiss on my temple and I lean into his embrace.
He’s not wrong; under normal circumstances, Kelsey is happy and bubbly and full of love for glitter and unicorns, but she’s stubborn. And that’s before you take into account that she’s hurting and going to be hugely reluctant to put herself out there for Mason to potentially hurt her again. She is not going to want to be vulnerable and flying across the country for a man who’s dumped her, abandoned her, and ignored her is the very definition of vulnerability…or stupidity.
Yeah, I’m going to need to sleep on this…
Chapter Seven
Kelsey
I wake the next morning to the smell of bacon and pancakes and the sound of pans clattering from the kitchen below. Lucy is a pretty decent chef but she’s not quiet or tidy when she cooks.
Not that I can complain, my cooking skills are shit. They are so basic that Mason used to insist on doing all of the cooking…
The thought of Mason makes my chest ache and the soreness of my over-cried eyes apparent. I was hoping to have a few more moments before the onslaught of emotions caught up with me.
Guess not.
I debate rolling over and wasting my day huddled under the covers, but the rumbling in my stomach persuades me otherwise. I throw on a pair of yoga pants, that have more holes than I want to think about, and my favorite baggy sweater and drag my feet to the kitchen. I don’t look presentable, my bed-head hair is a disheveled knot on the top of my head but hey, I’m not naked so that’s a win in my book.
“Morning, Kels,” Lucy’s cheerful voice greets me, closely followed by a cup of strong coffee – my best friend knows me well.
Lucy turns back to the stove and starts plating up our breakfast, humming along to the radio as she works. There’s no doubt that she’s a scary-happy morning person, but this is suspiciously chipper even for her. I know it in my bones that she’s up to something, but I’m too exhausted to waste the few functioning brain cells I have on figuring it out.
…I have a sinking feeling she’ll hit me with whatever she’s planning soon enough anyway. So, I tuck into the bacon and pancakes and wait.
True to form, Lucy doesn’t keep me waiting long. She shifts a little uncomfortably on her stool next to me as we eat at the kitchen island, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth, the way she does when she’s contemplating the right way to say something.
“Max stay the night?” I ask to distract her from whatever bomb she’s about to drop. My eyes glance around the downstairs for any sign of him, ever hopeful that he’ll appear and I can use him as a buffer until I finish breakfast and run away.
“No, he had an early start at the firehouse.”
Damn.
Lucy chews her lip again, glancing out the window as if for inspiration while I chew another mouthful of pancake.
“Just spit it out,” I say after I swallow my food and take a fortifying gulp of coffee.
“What?” Lucy asks, all innocent and confused looking as if she doesn’t have the same problem I do with our thoughts and feelings playing out right across our faces for the world to see.
I give her ‘the look’ that tells her she’s not fooling me and take another sip of caffeinated goodness.
“We need to talk, Kels.”
“You breaking up with me too? Because that line is only ever followed by bad news, normally of the dumping variety.”
“I’ve spent over twenty years trying to get rid of you; you haven’t taken the hint yet,” she teases. I smile at her attempt at humor.
“Sorry to disappoint, but I’ve only just moved my stuff in, I’m not going anywhere yet.”
“I think you should,” the sudden seriousness of her tone makes me choke on my bacon. It takes a few moments of spluttering before I can breathe and talk again.
“You’re going to need to elaborate on that because I thought you said it was okay for me to live with you? Is that why Max didn’t stay over? He doesn’t want me here and has left you to figure out how to oust me from your house so you two can have sex on every available surface?”
“Don’t be stupid, Kels. He wouldn’t spend all day moving you in if he wanted you gone. Besides, we’ve already had sex on all the available surfaces,” she winks.
I’m suddenly looking at the shiny surface of the kitchen island in a whole new way and trying desperately hard not to imagine my best friend sprawled naked across it while her pussy takes a pounding.
“He did, however, spend a while on the phone with Mason last night. The man called him in a panic because someone wouldn’t return his calls,” she looks pointedly at me.
“Why the fuck would I? Suddenly he feels guilty and wants to talk and I’m supposed to jump? Be the pathetic woman who lets him get away with treating me like shit all because he show’s me a microscopic amount of attention.”
“No, of course not.”
“Then why bring it up. If Mason doesn’t like being ignored, then he’ll learn a valuable lesson about fucking around with the feelings of the people who fall in love with him. He’s been an asshole and deserves much worse. But all I’m able to do is ignore him because he’s not here. So that’s what I’ll do.”
“And cut off your nose to spite your face while you’re at it.”
“Excuse me?” I’m trying not to be angry at Lucy – she’s the only person I have left and she’s letting me live with her practically rent-free. She’s my life-long best friend and now housemate so I contain the anger bubbling up inside.
“You still love him. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be so hurt over his actions and you wouldn’t have reached out and thrown all your baggage at him to make him feel bad.”
“It’s half his baggage and he’s a grown-ass man who ought to take some fucking responsibility for what’s happened.”
“And yet when he tries, you won’t let him. He can’t exactly do what you want him to if you won’t talk to him. How exactly do you want him to take responsibility when you won’t take his calls? He’s nearly a thousand miles away, the first step in him being able to help is for him to call because he can’t exactly turn up on our doorstep and magic all the shit away.”
“He ignored me,” I say, stubbornly ignoring her reason and wisdom.
“So it’s only right to ignore him back? That your plan? Great plan…if you are twelve.”
“I’m allowed to be annoyed with him and need time and space to process everything that’s happened.”
“And you’ve had that. The fact that you reached out to him, even angry, means that you don’t want time and space from him. He ignored you when he thought his leaving was for the best and that your life would continue and be better without him or his family casting a shadow over you. He’s guilty of being an idiot for sure, but he’s not a bad man. You know this, Kels.”
“But my life isn’t better. My relationship with him has ruined everything else in my life.”
“And as soon as he heard that, he tried calling and messaging you repeatedly until he caved and called Max instead. The man was frantic. Max didn’t even have the conversation on speaker and I could hear that. Mason Fox was desperate. Max told him he’d been an asshole and that he’d need a miracle, but neither of us doubts his love for you.”
“Don’t say stuff like that, Lucy. If he loved me, he’d have let me go with him. He bulldozes over my thoughts, feelings, and needs and does whatever he thinks is right and in my best interest and is repeatedly wrong. That isn’t love.”
“He’s misguidedly tried to protect you and tried to put your needs above his own. We all know he was wrong. Mason knows he was wrong. The only question is what do we do about it now?”
“You telling me I should pick up the phone and talk to him?” I ignore the little flutter of hope in my chest. There are so many reasons why I should move on from Mason, but Lucy is
one of the most well-considered people I know. I trust her judgment and she’s never once led me astray. If she’s speaking up for Mason, then she has a reason…as much as I hate to admit it.
“You were the happiest I’ve ever seen you during the months you were dating –”
“You didn’t know we were dating,” ignoring the fact that she’s right, I was the happiest I’ve ever been.
“I didn’t at the time, but now I know which months you were dating and I have a memory, Kels. I know when you were happy and I remember wondering what the reason was at the time. The reason was Mason. Before it all got fucked sideways by his bitter ex and every stupid decision he made to protect you from his family.”
“So, I should pick up the phone, that’s what you’re saying?”
“No. You should get on a plane,” she says matter-of-factly.
“Say again?” I ask because I could’ve sworn she just told me to fly to L.A.
“Get. On. A. Plane.”
I stare at her for a few seconds, waiting for the punchline, for her to start laughing and for me to hate the idea and come up with a reason not to. Sad thing is, part of my brain is already packing my suitcase.
“There’s nothing here for you except me. I love you, Kels, but you need to leave town, for your sanity. I’m not trying to be mean, but no one will hire you, Helen will continue to fuck with you because she can and she hates you. She has the means to keep you under her over-priced boot and it’s not right. It’s not fair. Unless you have a better plan for how you’re going to rebuild your life here?”
“I hate it when you have a point,” I say, resenting the fact that I’m being run out of town by the fucking Foxes.
“I can read you, Kelsey, don’t think of it as the Foxes winning. Think of it as claiming your fresh start. You get to leave them behind, start again in the sunshine, find a job that will fulfill you, and importantly, you get to have the man that Helen Fox wants but lost…and there’s nothing she can do about it because she’s already done her worst and you are still standing.”
“Say I agree to this, how exactly do I do it? I don’t have a job to go to, a place to stay, or the money to get there. I suppose I could drive but I think my car will likely break down in the wilderness and I’ll be eaten by a mountain lion or whatever.”
Lucy just looks at me, a self-satisfied grin on her face, and slides a folded piece of paper towards me, which I eye with the highest level of suspicion. My curiosity wins out quickly enough, and I gently unfold it to see it’s a print out of an e-ticket; a one-way flight to L.A. leaving this afternoon.
“We best get you packed and to the airport, Kels,” she beams at me.
“Lucy, I can’t accept this,” flights aren’t cheap and Lucy doesn’t have much more money than I do.
“You can and you will. It’s an early birthday present from me, Max and Dix.”
“You made the Coopers contribute?” I ask, horrified.
“I didn’t make them do anything. We all agreed that this is the best thing for you and we all wanted to help. Now, get your ass upstairs and pack before you waste our money and miss your damn flight.”
Chapter Eight
Mason
Max’s message fills me with rage, remorse, and more sadness than I can deal with. It’s simple, but effective in its lethality.
Max: Don’t book a flight. Stay in L.A.
I’ve tried calling and messaging him back, begging him to elaborate. I’m desperate to know what’s happening with Kelsey and what she’s said, but it must be bad if he’s is telling me not to come back.
It’s a universal truth that when one aspect of your life starts going well, another part gets fucked.
Work is going well; the transition between Watkins leaving and me taking over has been smoother than I could have hoped for and even things with Sanchez are good. We all work well as a team and I enjoy coming to work again and making a difference. I love finishing my shifts and heading home in the warmth and sunshine, sitting on the beach for a while, and drinking a beer.
But that’s the only bit of my personal life that’s any good. The rest of it is shit. Overbearing parents I don’t want to speak to, an ex-wife who’s dragging out the divorce process, and a heart-broken ex-girlfriend that I’m still madly in love with and who won’t talk to me.
Yeah. I’m going to need time to figure this shit out.
I’m too restless to sit still in my office and need to work off some of this nervous energy.
Pushing away from my desk, my phone buzzes in my hand.
Max: Can’t talk, busy. Just trust me. Don’t book anything.
I fidget with my phone as I stomp towards the gym. I call Kelsey, again, and like every other time, it goes straight to voicemail. I can’t help but growl in annoyance as I shove my phone into my pocket and pick up some free weights.
I trust Max with my life, always have, but I’m not sure I trust him with my heart. And that’s what Kelsey is, my heart. As disgustingly poetic as that sounds, she is, and that’s why all of this is so hard; there’s a piece of me broken and in pain that I can’t connect with and it’s broken because of me. Max wants me to trust him but how can I do that when his advice is to stay away from the one thing I need to feel whole again.
“Everything okay, boss?” Sanchez asks from the corner of the gym where she’s stretching after her workout. Her words make me jump as I didn’t see her when I walked in and started stomping around like a bear with a sore head.
“Yeah,” I say, apparently fooling no one.
Sanchez arches her brow and laughs at me. “I’m not even going to try and pretend I believe you, Fox. Let me guess…girl trouble?”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because it’s either work or relationship trouble and as far as I can see, everything at work is going fine, which leaves girl trouble. Also, the sick puppy-dog expression you get when you look at your phone is a dead giveaway.”
“I’ll work on my poker face.”
“I know you’re a private guy, Mason, but just so you know, we have your back. You aren’t a completely awful boss so we’re here for you if or when you want to talk,” she teases mildly.
The most surprising adjustment to my new job was how quickly Sanchez and I put the interview politics behind us. She’s someone I’ll be lucky enough to call a friend and a female perspective might not be a bad idea.
“I broke up with my girlfriend because my ex-wife was making life difficult. She would call repeatedly, turn up at my house at all hours, would insinuate I was a perverted old man, and just generally refuse to get out of my life. It caused a lot of stress so I kept my relationship a secret. I just wanted us to have our little bubble and not deal with the bullshit that was following me around –”
“But your girlfriend resented being a secret and being hounded by your ex, which put a strain on your relationship until you broke up.”
“Yeah, exactly.”
“Men are so predictable,” she rolls her eyes in jest. “I take it from your comment about being an old man that your girlfriend is younger?”
“Fourteen years my junior. So to my ex-wife, I’d traded her in for a younger model, even though Kelsey wasn’t on the scene until my marriage was over. There’s also the complication that my ex and I struggled to conceive and the idea that I might get a younger woman pregnant made her fucking crazy. Like a coward, I caved and ended my relationship with Kelsey. The last six months have been fucking miserable without her. So miserable that I went to see her just before I left and discovered that she was still as heartbroken as I am. She offered to move out here with me but I didn’t let her. I was trying to be noble or some shit, not wanting her to uproot her life when nothing in mine had changed; my parents had become even more insistent that I get back together with my ex and she still hadn’t signed the fucking divorce papers.”
“So you left town for a fresh start, what’s the issue now?”
“You remember me saying that my parents
and ex don’t know where I’ve moved?”
“Yeah, I remember. You still haven’t told them?”
“Nope. Don’t plan to either. My life is so much happier without them. Problem is, Helen, my ex, outed my relationship with Kelsey as a way of lashing out. She and my parents had Kelsey fired from her job and spread the story that she was my mistress. They also assaulted her in a parking lot when they demanded that she tell them where I’ve gone. Kelsey doesn’t know the exact details of where I live or work now…she also didn’t have my new number to call me and tell me what happened.”
“Wait up, boss. You got a new number and didn’t give it to her?”
“It’s worse than it sounds because I also changed my email and closed all my social media accounts.”
“So your poor girlfriend had no way to contact you, was left to deal with your family, and lost her job?”
“Yeah, and yesterday she had to move into her best friend’s house because she could no longer afford her apartment. Her best friend is dating my friend, Max, and he was the only one who had my new number. He didn’t tell me any of this until last night when he had his arm twisted until he handed over my number to Kelsey. She let me have it with both barrels and is now ignoring me.”
“Shit, boss. You totally deserve it. You should never keep a woman secret, no matter how tough the situation is. I don’t know her but I know you made her feel insignificant by doing that, and again when you left and cut off all contact. Why would she talk to you? Your actions tell her she means absolutely nothing to you.”
“I know that, Sanchez. I told you I wasn’t a fuck up in the workplace, but my personal life is a whole other level of shit.”
“You aren’t kidding. The irony is what seemed like the most difficult decision at the time is in hindsight, the easiest option you could’ve taken. All you had to do was be openly in a relationship and deal with your family together.”
“Again, not news,” I’m starting to wonder why I’m sharing all this with Alana; so far, she’s yet to offer up any valuable insight. She’s just reiterating what Max, Lucy, Kelsey, and Xan have all said: I’ve fucked up.
