by Elizabeth Lo
I’m somehow moved, and my knees fold themselves underneath me.
“You know, I kept thinking about how I would repay you,” he says, his voice starting to grow distant. “And I thought and thought… I’m still surprised I was able to think of such a genius counterplan.”
The silver gun hovers in front of my face. I can feel the fear of the spirits inside me, rustling and anxious.
And then, he smiles. A smile that makes me shiver.
“Ah… I’m relieved this will finally be over,” he says. “Orion is finally out of my head. This pesky curse will be gone. Like you said. The illusion ought to end, shouldn’t it?”
“Didn’t you say—”
“Shh…” He presses a finger to my lips. “It’s going to be okay.”
I flinch, tears streaming accidentally out of my eyes.
“I’ve decided to let you hold the gun,” he says, the cold killer’s eyes on his face as he hands me his gun. Even I feel my stomach sink amidst all the chaos as his eyes hold mine. “Since you really want to kill yourself so badly, I thought… really, who am I to tell you no? That way, you get your wish, right? You don’t want me to dirty my hands anymore. To keep living. So I’ll do that. I’ll let you be your own executioner.”
Well… he’s right. I should feel thankful that he’s decided that. But somehow, when he says it, it somehow feels more like a punch to the gut.
“Listen up, all you dead bastards in there,” he says, grabbing my head so I look up into his eyes. “Midnight Thunder will be the one to end you all. The world will finally be rid of you useless scum.”
The spirits start to scream and cry and whimper. I wonder if one of the sobs is coming from me.
“Here, Mid,” he says, placing the silver pistol in my hand. “It’s loaded and ready to go. Let’s end these bastards.”
My hand securely wraps around it. A gun… is surprisingly heavier than I thought.
I lift it to my temple. I can barely feel the muzzle on my temple… No. I can barely feel my arm. All I can feel is my little index finger, wrapped around the trigger. My last bit of control.
“Say goodbye,” he says.
I guess this is the end.
This is what I wanted.
Right?
BANG.
The world goes dark.
My breath shudders through my body. I’m lying on the ground, staring up at the sky. The clouds above are a pretty orange, like freshly squeezed orange juice on a summer day. Periwinkle purple washes through the sky from the left and transitions to a faded dusty gray on my right. The wind whispers in my ear, and the sound of someone falling to the ground is the only disturbance in the peaceful air.
Is that it? Am I dead?
It doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.
In fact… It doesn’t… hurt at all.
No, wait. That’s not right. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Everything I felt, the fear, the anxiety, the adrenaline… All of that was right.
But there’s something missing from the equation.
The feeling of everything ending. I thought I felt it. I thought I did.
I twitch my fingers. I move my arm up in front of my face. I touch my temple.
I’m not dead.
Sitting up suddenly, stars blink in my vision as I get a look around.
Lafayette is collapsed on the ground, clutching his head, moaning in pain.
“Lafayette…? Lafayette!” I crawl over to him. “What… What is…?”
But then, he sits up on his own, into a kneeling position. Robotically, he grabs my hands and places them on his shoulders.
“What are you…?”
“Kill me,” he says. “Go on.”
“Wait!” I say. “What are you doing? What are you doing?!”
“I’m giving you another chance, Midnight,” he says calmly, his eyes unfocused and glassy. “This time, actually fully live, okay? For the both of us.” He smiles. “I always wanted to choose my end like this. Isn’t this satisfying…”
A sob escapes my throat without meaning to.
“No… That just now… was just an act? You… No, why did you…? How am I…?”
Lafayette just smiles.
“Look.”
I glance to my left, and see what I dread. The bullet, even at point blank, missed. It hit the wall.
“I… missed? How?”
“Guess you just have really bad aim,” he says, slurring his words slightly.
“No. No, no, that’s not possible… How could I have…?” I glance around for a dead body. For a dead Midnight.
Lafayette chuckles.
“All right, all right…” he mutters. “I had Orion, or Black, lock up your entire body except for your mind and your finger. You didn’t realize that he shifted your arm at the last minute. He’s rather amazing, don’t you think?”
They were planning this the whole time. From the very moment they learned I was going to die.
All those spirits thought they would die with me, and they believed like I did that the moment I pulled the trigger really was the end for them. Because Lafayette told them. He made them believe it. And because of that, they all got transferred into him.
“I was the killer…” I say out loud. “And the dead spirits were the victims and witnesses. And you’re the one the killer… the one I… cared most about…”
Through the smallest of cracks in the curse’s rules, he slipped right through them to get what he wanted.
Almost.
My hands squeeze together.
“Did you plan on the curse backfiring onto you?” I ask. The after-effects of my fuchsia vision still remain slightly in my eyes, and I can see the faint glowing of hundreds of purple orbs inside of Lafayette.
I raise my hand to take the curse back out of him, but he grabs my wrist and stops me.
“Backfiring?” He tries to laugh, but it only comes out as slightly stronger exhales. “Everything is according to plan.”
“What? How did you know that the dead spirits would transfer into you?”
He gazes up at the sky.
“Because the only way I could care about you is if you cared about me.”
“You’re quite sentimental today, Mr. Falcon,” I say, but my voice quivers.
He lets out a chuckle, but it fades quickly.
“Mid,” he says, a bit desperation edging into his voice. “I need you to kill me. Hurry. With the same spell you killed the Hanburians with.”
“What? No! I’ll take the curse back from you instead. And let the Stone kill me and the others.”
Lafayette’s gold eyes meet mine.
“Ever the kind Midnight, aren’t you… Hmm… Yes, I do realize this might make things a little worse for you,” Lafayette says distantly. “Don’t blame yourself. If you need someone to blame, blame me. Hate me. I don’t care.”
“I’m not worth this trouble!” My hands shake in his grasp.
“You are,” he says.
“But…”
“All of us were screaming for freedom with voices too loud for our own good. Yet you silently listened and took the burden for all of us. Don’t you think you deserve at least a taste of freedom?”
“Please…” I whimper helplessly.
Lafayette smiles.
“This is me being selfish, Mid.” He smiles as if we’re just having another lighthearted talk. “Apologies, but you’ll have to put up with it this time.”
I try to pull away. But he holds my hands firmly in place.
“Mid,” he murmurs, the change in voice sounding more like Black. “Don’t deny him his choice.”
“Why is death his choice?!” I scream, shaking my head, trying to pull away.
“You know, I realized,” Lafayette continues, taking over again. “You don’t have to have a human body to be a person. Your hesitation to kill is valiant, Mid, but… if that is your humanity, this is my humanity.”
All I can see now is the slow rise and fall of La
fayette’s breath under my hands. The faint pulse I can feel through his iron grip.
“You now have that second chance you wanted so much, ”Lafayette says.
No… You’re doing this just so I can have a second chance?
“Hurry,” he urges.
“Why… Why, Lafayette?”
He chuckles, but I can see the strain in his face from trying to keep calm.
“I’ve found my control, Mid,” he whispers. “Just in this one small moment. I don’t need anything more.”
My hands still.
“Why are you the one to die?” I ask again.
His eyes focus as hard as he can manage, and his hands seem to squeeze mine a little harder.
“There’s nothing wrong in dying. Death is just a part of life.” Somehow, even through all the pain, I see a slight smile on his face. “I’d like to use mine for you.”
I breathe out once, his words hitting their mark. Lethal aim, indeed, Lafayette.
This is Lafayette’s closure. This is his way of finally living his life by deciding himself what he wants to do with it.
“Are you sure about this?” I whisper.
He gives the faintest nod, his chest heaving unsteadily.
“Hurry,” he breathes.
I’m going to do it. I have to.
“Live,” he murmurs.
I smile with tears welling in my eyes and dripping down my face.
And, for the final time, my hands pulse with Decomposition, and like a whisper on the breeze, the body of Lafayette bursts into an explosion of particles that slither past my empty outstretched hands and float off into the sky.
Tears drip onto the cobblestone, and all I can hear is my breath and the crickets beginning their serenade of the night.
Today, I lived. And tomorrow, I guess I will too.
FIN.
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About the Author
Elizabeth Lo has been writing stories since first grade, when she began imagining whole worlds in her head. The Midnight Before Me, her debut novel, explores issues many young people experience such as balancing expectations, dealing with inner demons, and finding their place in the world. She enjoys taking pictures of sunsets instead of people but would rather study the human condition than any other science. Elizabeth hopes her writing helps people think about important questions while giving them riveting stories to spice up their life.
Follow her Instagram @elizabethloauthor or on Facebook @the.elizabeth.lo
The Midnight Before Me Published by Westbrook Publishing Denver, CO
Copyright ©2019 Elizabeth S. Lo. All rights reserved.
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YOUNG ADULT FICTION / Dark Fantasy
Donna Cunningham of BeauxArts.Design
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
All rights reserved by Elizabeth S. Lo and Westbrook Publishing
