FADE (Kailin Gow's FADE Series: Book 1)

by Kailin Gow

  Instead, my chance comes at the start of a modeling shoot. Jack’s hanging around in the studio, but it’s not like he can actually be in the changing room, and it turns out that there’s another door. I see that combination, and I just know that I have to act. If I don’t do this now, with such a perfect opportunity, I never will. So I slip out of that door, head downstairs, and take the car. I drive almost without stopping, heading out along the highways for Virginia. Heading home.

  Heading for my old high school, at least. My family wouldn’t remember me even if I could find them, but Grayson will. Not that I plan to talk to him. I’m not that stupid. Changed as I am, he probably won’t even recognize me. I just want to see him out on the track, and know that he’s okay, and… I don’t know, say goodbye even though he can’t hear me, or something.

  I’ve timed my trip perfectly, because I get to the school track just in time for practice. I slip into the bleachers, down in the corner where nobody’s likely to look, and I just watch. My phone rings, the way it’s been ringing for most of the trip. Jack. I ignore it. If I answer, he’ll want to know what’s going on and where I am, and I’ll be back in that life. I’m not quite ready for that yet.

  I’d forgotten what Grayson looks like when he runs. He’s athletic, but it’s more than that. There’s something graceful about him as he strides out with the rest of the team, keeping within himself, running for distance. I could watch him forever like that. There’s something wrong though. I can see it. I know what Grayson looks like when he’s running well and this isn’t it. He’s fast, but usually, he’s so much faster.

  When a few of the rest of the team start to pass him, our coach even calls him on it, drawing him over to the side of the track nearest me to demand an explanation. I can’t hear the whole conversation, but I hear “effort”, “not yourself”, and “Georgetown” clearly enough. It’s obvious what Coach is saying. Grayson is running badly. Badly enough that it could affect his chances of a scholarship.

  It’s enough to leave him looking dejected as he walks away. It’s enough to leave me feeling almost as bad. Have I done this to him? I realize in that moment that I shouldn’t have come here. Seeing Grayson like this hasn’t helped me to put thoughts of him aside. Instead, it has just shown me how much my leaving has hurt him.

  I know then that I need to get out of there. Turn around, walk away, and get back to New York. Call Jack to let him know I’m fine. I need to do all of it. I make my way down from the bleachers and start back towards my car. It’s only then that I see Grayson standing there, looking straight at me. I turn, walking quicker, but it’s too late.

  “Celes?”

  I break into a run without thinking about it, heading out across the park near the school. It’s a stupid move, I know, but right then, I simply can’t face Grayson. Only I’m going to have to, because he’s chasing me, and he’s always been able to run faster than me. In fact, I’ve barely gone fifty yards before he catches up with me, colliding with me so that we both tumble to the ground in a heap.

  He looks at me then, staring in shock and, I realize, embarrassment.

  “I’m so sorry,” he says. “I thought… I thought you were somebody else.”

  He doesn’t recognize me. It seems that all those technicians back in the desert did a pretty good job. Yet having Grayson so close and not know that it’s me is hardly something to make me happy, particularly not with the way Grayson’s face falls as we both make our way back to our feet.

  “I’m really sorry,” he repeats. “It was just that, sitting there, walking, you reminded me so much of-”

  I can’t bear to hear him say my name. Not now. Without thinking, I reach up to touch his face. “It’s fine,” I say, even though it really isn’t fine, not then. “People make mistakes.”

  “Even your voice…” Grayson begins, and then pauses, looking at me closely. It’s like what he’s seeing doesn’t match what he knows he should be seeing. “Celes?”

  I shake my head. “I’m sorry, I don’t know who that is. I’m not who you think I am.”

  That hurts me just to say it, but it seems to hurt Grayson more. He kind of folds in on himself, sitting down on the grass and I want to reach out to hold him, but I know I can’t.

  “I’ve been searching for my girlfriend for weeks,” he says, “and it’s like she just vanished. It’s not like her at all. She wouldn’t just leave me a text message breaking up with me. Celes wouldn’t do that, she would talk it out with me before that.” Grayson shakes his head. “Something’s happened to her, and I have to find out. I have to find her…”

  “Gray-” That syllable escapes before I can stop it.

  “What?” Grayson looks up.

  “Nothing.” I shake my head. “Look, I’m not who you think I am, but I hope you do move on. Whoever your girlfriend was, she’s not worth moping for, if she dumped you the way you said she did. Move on, get a new girl…” I can’t finish that. I know I should want Grayson to be happy, should want him to find someone who can take some of this pain away, but the thought of him with someone else just isn’t one I can stomach.

  It doesn’t seem like one Grayson can handle either. He stands. “If you knew Celes, you would know she’s worth everything to me. I loved her… so much. I still love her.”

  I reach out to put a hand on his shoulder, and Grayson reacts, turning it into a hug. I’ve missed those hugs. But when he jerks back, I know something’s wrong.

  “You even smell like her.”

  I don’t answer, but walk for my car. Grayson follows. And it’s then that I notice the car that’s parked just a little way from us. It’s a black sedan, which is unsubtle enough in itself. You’d think that people would pick something else for stake outs. The fact that there are a couple of guys in it just staring at us makes it even clearer. Someone has found me.

  “Oh no. No, no, no.”

  “What?” Grayson asks.

  Are they here because Jack has sent them to pick me up? He’d be able to track my phone, right? Probably even my car. Somehow though, I know he hasn’t sent them. Jack would have come himself.

  The two men get out of the car. They’re dressed in black, the same way the men from Jack’s apartment were. I try to work out which way to play this. I could run, but if they’re armed, then I’ll just be a perfect target. Or I can play it cool and hope that my disguise holds. That sounds like the better option by far.

  I turn to Grayson. “Thank you, sir, for telling me how to get back to the highway. I guess I’m more lost than I thought.”

  I walk for my car then, hoping it will be enough, but I can’t resist a glance back. That’s when I see that one of the two men has taken hold of Grayson’s wrist and is dragging him towards the black sedan.

  I’m not sure about what happens next. I react purely on instinct, knowing that I have to help. I run over, grab the arm that’s holding Grayson, and twist it so violently that the man yelps as he lets go. His partner’s eyes widen for a moment, and he charges towards me. It just seems so natural then to move slightly to the side and push. The results of that are not what I expected. The man goes flying. Literally flies through the air, to land with a crash on the windshield of his own car.

  His partner has recovered enough by then to swing an elbow at me, and I dodge back, bringing my foot up automatically, swinging it as hard as I can between his legs. He goes down, whimpering.

  I reach out to grab Grayson’s arm then, knowing what I have to do. “Come on, Grayson! We have to run.”

  “Run?”

  “They’ll be after you too, now.”

  Grayson looks puzzled. “What’s going on?”

  That response is understandable, but there isn’t time. Already, the one I’ve kicked looks like he might be starting to recover.

  “Come on, unless you want to face these two again. And for all we know, they brought friends. Trust me, Grayson.”

  That’s enough to get him moving, at least. We get in the car.

&n
bsp; “You still haven’t told me what’s going on,” Grayson says.

  I take a breath. “If you want to go back to your normal life, you have to trust me and promise not to say anything to anyone.”

  “Trust you? I don’t even…” then he looks at me. Really looks at me. I can practically feel Grayson stripping away the layers of disguise in his mind. We don’t have time. I put the car in gear and drive, as fast as I dare, wanting to put distance between us and the men behind us. We’ve gone maybe half a block before Grayson finally says it.

  “Celes.”

  Maybe it’s just that I’m concentrating on the road this time, or maybe I’m finally ready to give in to it, but I turn to Grayson as he says it, responding to the name.

  “It is you,” he says. “I knew it. I…” He leans over to kiss me, which I’m sure is some kind of traffic safety violation, but right then, I don’t care. I just care about the familiar taste of those lips on mine, and that way Grayson has of being exactly what I need so that I can shut out the-

  I swerve just in time to miss an oncoming SUV, and decide that there will be time for kissing him later. At least, I hope that there will.

  “Celes,” Grayson says, pulling back. “What’s happening? Why are there people attacking you? Why did you disappear? Why do you look… like that?”

  I just smile. “I’ve missed you too, Grayson.”

  NINE

  I return my attention to the road after that. A getaway isn’t much use if we end up crashing in the middle of it, and I’m driving too fast to do anything but concentrate. I can’t drive like Jack does, with that uncanny knack he has for knowing where there are police patrols, and the ability to push the Aston to its limits, but I still drive as quickly as the traffic around us allows. I’m wound tight as I drive, glancing around constantly, looking around for any sign that Grayson and I might have been followed.

  So when the black sedan pulls in two cars behind us, I spot it instantly. I almost panic then, almost floor the accelerator and just hope for the best, but I take a breath, forcing myself to be calm as I look closer in the rearview mirror. It isn’t the same car as before. It can’t be, because this car has a perfect windshield rather than one covered in cracks from where a body has hit it. There have to be plenty of black sedans in the world, right? It might be nothing. It might just be someone on their way back from work.

  I believe that about as much as I believe that the men back at the school had just been there for something innocent. I have to act. I have to do something that will tell me straight away whether this car is following me, so at the next intersection, I take a good look at the traffic around me, grit my teeth, and run a red light. Horns sound, and brakes screech, but when I look back, I have my answer.

  The black sedan hasn’t followed.

  “Celes?” Grayson asks. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m sorry. I thought…”

  I tail off as I glance up at the rearview mirror again. The sedan is still way back at the intersection, but there, two cars back again, another black car has pulled in behind us from a side street. It could just be a coincidence. It’s a different make and model to the sedan, and black’s a common color for cars. But somehow, I don’t buy it.

  I take the next turning, not caring that it sends me cutting across traffic. Again, the following car doesn’t go with the move, but again, a jet black vehicle settles in a few places back a street or so later. This one is a van, which stays for about three blocks before being replaced by what looks a lot like the original sedan. I guess most people would have forgotten about it by that point. After all, who really looks at the cars behind them?

  “Celes,” Grayson says. “Talk to me.”

  There’s only one conclusion I can come to by this point. “I think we’re being followed, Grayson.”

  “Followed?” Grayson sounds like he hardly believes it, but then he takes another look at me. It’s easy to guess what he’s doing. He’s looking at all the changes to my appearance, finally thinking about why I might have needed to make them. “Celes, are you in some kind of trouble?”

  I bite my lip, weaving past another couple of cars. “You could say that. Look, Grayson, I need you to trust me for now, okay?dth=

  Grayson nods without hesitation. “I do trust you.”

  I head away from the town, out onto the highways. There, I guess that I’ll have the advantage. After all, I’m the one in the sports car. Once I’m on the open road, I give up worrying about what the police will think and just go as fast as I can. I figure that if the police stop us, at least whoever’s following won’t dare do anything with them around. I hope.

  So for the next half hour, I play cat and mouse with more black vehicles than I can count. I have the speed, but it never seems to be enough. I’ll power away from the sedan or one of its sister vehicles, but whenever I slow down enough to look round, there’s another one, taking over the chase. It reminds me of the way I’ve heard wolves run down deer, pushing them towards one another, running them until they drop from exhaustion.

  Of course, since I’m the deer in this scenario, I don’t want to think about what happens then.

  My phone rings again, and I start to ignore it. This isn’t the time for an argument with Jack. Yet almost as soon as I think that, I change my mind. After all, if anyone can help me now, it’s Jack. I take out my phone and answer. On the other end, Jack’s voice is tense, even frantic. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him like that before.

  “Celes?”

  “Jack!”

  “Celes, are you safe? Does someone have you?”

  It takes me a moment to realize what he means. When I do, I feel a second of deep embarrassment. With my going missing this morning, Jack actually thinks I’ve been kidnapped, when I’ve actually just gone off looking for my boyfriend. Of course, given that the black van’s back on my tail when I look at the mirror again, there might still be time for his first instinct to be proven right.

  “Celes?” Jack repeats.

  “Jack. Jack, I’m fine.” For a moment, relief at hearing his voice overwhelms me. “No, I’m not fine. I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have done it. I took the car. I just wanted to see… to move on. I needed to visit Grayson again.”

  Jack’s groan is audible down the phone. I know what he must think. That I’m an idiot. Worse, that I’ve gotten into the spoiled little princess role far too much. I’m surprised to find how much it matters to me what he must think. I don’t want to disappoint him like that, and now I have.

  “Were you followed?” Jack asks, his voice tight.

  “That’s the problem,” I say.

  “Oh, Celes.” Another groan. “What happened?”

  I explain about the cars swapping in and out behind me, despite all the things I’ve been doing to try to lose them. Jack doesn’t seem surprised by it.

  “It’s the professional way to tail someone. The idea is that people will spot one car that’s behind them for miles, but different cars just look like normal traffic. You did well to spot them at all.”

  There’s a faint note of approval there that reminds me of the way Jack sounded after his ‘test’ with the gun at the diner. Like I’ve done better than he expected me to. That’s why it’s such a shame that I have to tell him the rest of it.

  “I only spotted them because the sedan looked just like the one they used when they tried to attack me and Grayson.”

  “They spotted you with him?” Jack asks. “How many were there?”

  “Just two at the time. I knocked one out, and the other… well, he probably won’t be in great shape for a while either.”

  “Do I want to know how you did that?” Jack asks, and then pauses. “No, there’s no time. Your ex-boyfriend is in a lot of danger now, Celes.”

  “I know,” I say. “I’m sorry.”

  I can just picture Jack shaking his head. “It’s too late to start worrying about that now. Tell me where he is, and I’ll send a team around to keep an eye on
him.”

  I hesitate just a fraction. “Grayson is with me, Jack.”

  “Okay.” It’s a shade of the word that doesn’t mean it at all. “Where are you now? I’ve been able to take a general direction off the scanners, but I need something more specific.”

  “I…” I look up and read the next sign I see to Jack. “Jack, I’m not sure how long I can keep this up.”

  “You’re doing fine,” Jack reassures me. “You just need to keep driving, Celes. Whatever else happens, you keep driving. Don’t even stop for the police. The Others obviously know that you’ve spotted them, but from the sounds of it, they probably won’t make a move to try to stop you until I’m there.”

  “Probably?” Probably isn’t a reassuring word. Probably is only a step up from maybe.

  “Celes.” Jack’s voice is suddenly firm. “I’m going to get there. You just need to hold on until I do. Do you understand?”

  I bite my lip. “Yes.”

  He hangs up, and Grayson and I are alone again. Grayson is looking more alarmed by the second.

  “Celes, I know you said to trust you, and I do, but don’t you think you should tell me more of what’s going on? Who was that on the phone?”

  “That was…” I suddenly find that I don’t want to try to explain who Jack is to Grayson. I don’t know if he’ll understand. I don’t know what I can say to make him understand. “…a friend. He’s going to try to help us, but from the sounds of it, it’s going to take a little while.”

  “What about the rest of it?” Grayson asks. “Why do you look like this, Celes?”

  I knew he’d ask it at some point, but how much of an answer can I give him? I don’t want to tell him all the stuff about my possibly being some kind of freak, but I owe Grayson something at least.

  “Grayson,” I say, “I have a new identity, because my old one was in danger from men like the ones who attacked us. I can’t explain everything about why, but I found out some stuff recently that means I’m suddenly very interesting to a lot of people. A group called the Underground is trying to keep me out of danger.”