She wasn’t stupid. This wasn’t a gambit to out her secret with Dane and the department. Joe was telling her something he didn’t want their listening audience to know, but she couldn’t for the life of her figure out how snippets of their hair explained anything. The man was mad, and her patience was lost.
She nodded toward the monitor. “Dane’s on the other end of that,” she said, lying. “You don’t need me to apologize. Do it yourself.”
“Maybe. He won’t talk to me.”
Joe was suddenly so woebegone, so steeped in self-pity, Harper couldn’t help herself. “Prison suits you.” His surprise turned to hurt, reminding her Joe could still injure Dane. She attempted to backtrack, hoping to placate. “It’s made you forgiving and patient.” He settled and the fire in his eyes cooled, allowing her to breathe easier, but there was no more doubt in her mind this was not the man she knew. This Joe Folsom was unhinged.
“I’m trying to redeem myself.” Joe pulled at his chains. “Fuck forgiving. Fuck patient. I won’t last much longer.”
“Settle down, Folsom.” Lucas’s harsh tone startled Harper, but it forced the madness from Joe’s eyes.
“You’re not fooling anyone, Sullivan.” Joe’s lip curled.
“It’s not my job to fool people. I’m the real deal, the scariest kind of cop. An honest one.”
Joe laughed outright, sneering at Lucas. “That’s your story, huh? And they believe you? Harper believes you?” His gaze settled on Harper. “Yeah. You believe him. Why wouldn’t you?”
Lucas was being himself—that was to say, solid, unyielding, and on the side of angels. His attitude shattered Joe’s, who sank in his chair, deflated, as if he recognized his smack talk couldn’t hide the truth. Lucas was the real deal. She knew him, just as she knew Joe. Lucas might be oblivious to her and Joe’s hidden agenda today, but that was because he trusted her. She couldn’t fault him for that. Lucas did what he thought was right at all times. It was the most painful aspect of their breakup. In essence, to Lucas, ruling out a future with her was the right thing to do.
Lucas and Joe. Both had hurt her so badly she’d never recover. Both felt she was obligated to be on their side. Well, she was on neither. She was on her family’s side. If Joe wasn’t going to reveal her secret, and if he wouldn’t give her the list, there was no upside for her being here.
Harper folded her trembling hands. “You know what people will assume when they find out I’ve met with you. That you’ve told me things that will reveal the dirty cops in the precinct. If you don’t give us the list, my life will be in danger for nothing. Is that why you asked for me? To hurt Dane one last time?”
Joe swore. “I’m trying to make things right!” He was acting like she should understand something important, but she didn’t, yet as far as Harper could tell, he’d said nothing.
Lucas stood behind her and put his big hand on her shoulder. “Folsom, you promised names.”
His touch was supposed to comfort her—that was a Lucas move—but he was a man, so it was also marking territory. He’d lost that right a year ago. She knew it. Hell, Joe knew it. It was Joe’s shoulder she’d cried on, and it was her breakup with Lucas that made her vulnerable to Joe’s manipulations. Harper shrugged Lucas’s hand off. The last thing she needed was a pissing contest between these two men who could make her life impossible.
Joe leaned forward again, startling her. Harper cringed inside but forced herself not to recoil. It’s Joe. It’s still Joe. Just because she didn’t know all of him didn’t make what she did know wrong. He loved Dane like a brother, her like a sister. She believed that…but something in Joe allowed him to compartmentalize that and do what he did. One day she’d forgive him, for her own benefit.
Joe’s eyes welled with tears, hinting at his torment. It was unmistakable, whether she believed he had a right to the emotion or not. “This will be the last time we meet, Harper.” She prayed he was correct. “Too many people won’t feel safe until I’m dead.”
Harper could feel Lucas bristling with impatience behind her. “The deal was you see Harper; you give up the list. We had a deal, Folsom. What game are you playing? It’s been two months since your arrest. Why her, why now?”
“My attorney.” Joe didn’t look angry, simply resigned. “He told me someone leaked I had a list.”
“So give it up. Make killing you moot.” Lucas did have a way of making everything seem simple, but Harper had to side with him here. Giving up the list seemed Joe’s only move.
“Like you want that.” Joe’s snorted his disbelief.
Lucas said nothing but communicated a lot. It was as if he and Joe were talking over her head, referencing a conversation she hadn’t been privy to. When they realized she’d noticed, their gazes broke and each settled into their default postures; Lucas wore disdain like a shield as Joe slumped in his chair, hopeless and frustrated.
“What do you want from me?” she said.
Eyes fever bright, he said, “I need you to remember the good times. I need you to remember that I loved you.” She struggled to hide her panic. They’d never exchanged words of love. To insinuate as much would be to hint at their hidden relationship, the one where Joe lied to her and had her spy on her brother. Harper didn’t want history to be rewritten with her and Joe as star-crossed lovers. They’d both been suffering recent breakups from loved ones, her with Lucas and him with his ex-wife. She didn’t want to hear that Joe loved her, especially not now. “You, Dane, and Elizabeth. We’re like family,” Joe said.
It felt as if he’d slapped her, and then her stomach turned over and she couldn’t breathe. “But not Alice? Alice was family, Joe!”
Harper stood so quickly her chair slammed to the ground. Light-headed and sick to her stomach, her gaze locked with Joe’s; her rage clashing with his pique. She’d known him for most of her life, and yet she’d missed this part of him…this void where compassion should be. Clarity, of the kind only shame could create, slapped her with its insight. If he was a monster, what did that make her? She’d helped him hurt her family.
Bile rose in her throat, threatening to humiliate. This was her fault…her fault. Tears blurred her vision and had her turning her back to the men and the monitor, unable to pretend she was okay, but after last year’s scandal, unwilling to give them a front row seat to another MacLain meltdown.
“Do us all a favor and give up the list, Joe.” She pressed her palms to the cool wall, attempting to breathe through the worst of her nausea without giving herself away.
Lucas stepped to her side, cupped her chin, studied her face, and whatever he saw there had him grimacing. She licked her lips and kept her voice to a whisper. “I’m alright,” she said. Joe, the guards, those watching over the monitor…her pride wouldn’t allow it to be otherwise.
“We’re done here.” Lucas left her side and knocked on the door. When it opened, he extended his hand toward her, and Harper saw her escape…but hesitated. Running now would be the coward’s out. She came here for the list, and anything less would just be one more personal failure that hurt her family. Leaning her back against the wall, she shook her head.
“No.” Too much was on the line to give up now. “Joe.” She forced his name past trembling lips. “Tell them where it is. Just tell them.” Or bad men might come for her…kill her. He’d had to know that even as he’d requested this meeting. She found herself praying he’d do this one thing, show this one mercy…a mercy he hadn’t shown any other in her family, and certainly not Alice, who he murdered.
“You’d know if you wanted to know.” Joe’s cryptic answer was accompanied by a churlish frown.
“Last chance, Folsom. Are you giving up the list or not?” Lucas slapped his hands on the table in front of Joe, making him recoil and rattle his chains. “Because otherwise I’m shutting this meeting down.”
“Go to hell.” Joe tried to spit at Lucas, but a guard slapped his head, making him miss.
“Put him back in solitary.” Lucas glanced at
the monitor before nodding to the guards. “He’s not talking.”
“I talk and no one listens.” Joe was looking to Harper for sympathy. “Don’t blame me for this.”
“Joe.” Her fear was closing her throat, making it hard to speak. “You called me here for a reason. I know you want to make things right. And you can.” She forced a smile, though couldn’t bring herself to step closer. “And Joe,” she nodded, “you owe Dane and Elizabeth. And…me, Joe. You owe me. Please give Lucas the list.”
The two guards removed Joe’s chains, unshackling him from the table while Joe pursed his lips, glared at Lucas, looking more like a petulant child than a killer. Harper tried to regain his attention, and when she got it, silently plead with him as he threw frantic looks back. It was surreal and hellish; Joe shackled at the ankle, waist, and wrists. Harper shackled by her secrets.
Then Joe sighed, as if giving up. But giving up what? He hadn’t told her anything. “It will be over soon, Harper. Try not to worry.” He nodded, keeping his gaze on the stained tile. “And…I understand.”
“Yeah, Folsom?” Lucas bit out the words. “What do you understand?” He stood between her and Joe. “That you killed her sister-in-law and nearly killed her brother? That you’re responsible for defaming the name of this precinct? That you’re reneging on your agreement with the DA’s office and signing your death warrant? Without this deal, you’ll have a target on your back and no amount of solitary confinement will protect you.”
“My death was assured the moment you leaked I had a list,” Joe said.
Harper didn’t need an interpreter for that remark, but the words were so shocking, she had to see if Joe really believed them. She peeked around Lucas and studied Joe’s face. It was flabbergasting. Joe did believe. It was beyond insane!
Lucas ignored Joe’s ravings, and why shouldn’t he? Joe had lost credibility two months ago when Harper’s sister-in-law uncovered the recording of him murdering Alice. Anyone listening in through the monitor wouldn’t believe Joe, either. Harper certainly didn’t. She knew Lucas, and Lucas would never cross that line.
The uniformed guards tugged Joe toward the door, and his chains rattled, and his eyes welled with tears. Seeing him this way, so human and dejected, settled a feeling of…forgiveness, maybe?…over her. Her stomach settled, her disgust faded, and in its place was sadness. So much sadness.
Lucas was still standing between her and Joe, and Harper was still peeking around him. “You had a chance, Folsom. And like the rest of your life, you’re pissing it away,” Lucas said.
Joe blanched, making Harper long to see his evil version, the one that lied, stole, and murdered, so she wouldn’t feel sorry for him. Yet all she saw was the Joe of her childhood and the Joe that helped her survive the horrible months of heartache after the kidnappings and murder.
Harper leaned against Lucas’s back, still peeking around, using him to buffer her from the emotional violence in the room. He smelled like she remembered, felt like she remembered, and against the backdrop of so much pain, she wanted to sink into a fantasy of pretend…that they were still together. That everything was going to be okay and he’d be there to make it so. Instead, her chin quivered and her knees wobbled as her gaze hung on Joe’s. There was no mistaking Joe expected to die. Joe.
“Give them the names.” Her words surprised everyone in the room, herself included. She hadn’t expected to make any request from this man who had done such harm to those she loved, but she didn’t want him dead, either. “Stick to the deal.”
“It’s too late for that.” Joe hung his head, chains rattling as the two burly guards tugged him toward the door. “All I can do is try to make things right.” She didn’t understand. He either had the list or he didn’t. Making things right meant handing over the list.
Joe had to pass her and Lucas to reach the door, and though she would have wished not to witness this moment, she didn’t suffer fear as Joe approached. Lucas was here, standing guard. Yet Harper suspected her lack of fear was more about her inability to see Joe as evil when he so clearly was. Up was down and vice versa. How had she and Joe ended up in this room? Him a captive, Harper with Lucas.
Then Joe lunged at her. She had no time to do more than clutch Lucas’s back as the words “Sullivan is dirty” caressed her ear. Spoken so softly, she wasn’t at first certain she’d heard Joe correctly as Lucas brutally shoved Joe off before his last syllable registered.
“For shit’s sake!” Lucas’s shout echoed off the walls as the guards regained their hold on Joe, dragging him, feet barely touching the tile as he was taken from the room.
Sullivan is dirty. More befuddled than anything else, Harper couldn’t wrap her brain around Joe using his last words to her to defame the man who’d helped put him in jail.
He didn’t give up the list. She was screwed.
And a fool. Joe hadn’t negotiated to see her to give up evidence. He’d wanted attention, to cause trouble and put a target on her back. It was the only explanation for getting her here, dangling a story about a list of dirty cops, and then leaving her hanging. She should be howling with rage, and yet…she felt deflated. He’d disappointed her on every level, betrayed the MacLains time and again. She was so emotionally spent it was too hard to work up the rage this latest betrayal deserved. Yet grief hung on her like a blanket, weighing her down. If she’d learned anything over this last year of tragedy and betrayal, even when she had nothing left to give, grief hung in there and colored everything, every waking hour. Joe’s legacy, but she and her family were the ones carrying it.
Lucas pulled her into a comforting embrace, and as shaken as she was, Harper allowed it. She needed it. Later she’d berate herself for her weakness, but now his arms holding her were the only thing keeping her from crying. His breath was warm on her temple, his hands hot, searing through her jersey shirt. The last time he’d held her like this, Elizabeth had just been rescued from Ian Whitman’s clutches. Harper had been crying then, too. She was so sick of crying.
“You okay?” Lucas squeezed her harder. “Did he hurt you?”
She buried her face against his lapel, wanting to tell him the truth, that Joe was a monster, and knowing that protected her to some extent. But Joe had never hurt her quite like Lucas had. No one had ever hurt Harper like Lucas had. That truth, however, would be giving up too much to a man who had taken so much already.
“I’m good,” she said.
“They shouldn’t have allowed him that close.” He tipped her chin up with his fingertips and then wiped tears off her cheek.
When his gaze settled on her lips, she wondered if he was remembering the last time they’d kissed. She remembered, and against her will, her tongue snaked out and damped her lips. His eyelids lowered. His lips separated. She could smell the want on him, see his invitation, could feel her body’s demand she welcome its call. Pain seared, ripping the scar tissue on her heart, because there was no doubt in her mind she’d surrender her pride without a second thought if it meant she’d have just…one…more…kiss.
“Lucas.” She couldn’t handle this. Not his desire, not his concern. Harper sucked in a shaky breath, trying to dispel light-headedness.
He cleared his throat and seemed to focus himself. “What did he say to you? I heard him speak but couldn’t make out the words.”
Harper didn’t want to tell. She didn’t want to take the chance Lucas would think she believed Joe’s lies. “Nothing. I couldn’t make them out.” She didn’t want to think about Joe. “He’s insane.”
“That’s a given.” Lucas turned, looking right at the monitor and nodded.
The light went from red to nothing. They were no longer being recorded or watched. Lucas reacted like it was a call to action. He pulled her closer and kissed her. Shocked, she nonetheless told herself it was okay to kiss him back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through his thick hair. It wasn’t Lucas’s fault she hadn’t believed him a year ago when he’d said he wanted no commi
tments. It wasn’t his fault she’d believed he would change his mind. So she deepened the kiss, ignoring the price to come—another strip of her pride gone, another gash to scar her heart. It was worth it, she told herself, ignoring that needing it to be worth it didn’t make it true.
His hands ran down her back to her ass, squeezing, pulling her against his hard body and his growing arousal. It fed her addiction. What was she doing? The kiss acted like a key, opening her wounds, and instead of returning her to a place of pleasure it reminded her of what she’d lost.
She pushed Lucas away and stumbled against the wall, pressing her hot palms against its cool smoothness. His embrace was a trap, offered out of kindness, but to an addict longing for another fix, it was toxic.
She saw Lucas’s confusion, but Harper didn’t feel the necessity to explain. He glanced at the exit. Joe and the list. Harper knew he couldn’t be in here coddling her when he needed to be on the hunt.
“Go.” She’d recover. She had before, she would again.
“I’ll be right back.” He hesitated. “Are you sure?”
“Make him give you the list.”
He nodded and then left without another word. It allowed Harper to drop the brave front. Sucking in a breath, she held it, hoping the dizziness she felt was aftershock and would quickly dispel. At least she wasn’t nauseous anymore.
The table and chair were a few yards from where she stood, but Joe might as well still be sitting there for all the lure they held. He’d been desperate, his mien and posture heavy with unknowable messages, and she hadn’t felt this helpless since Alice and Elizabeth had been kidnapped.
Tempted by a Touch (Unlikely Hero) Page 4
