Better With Ben

by Casey McMillin

  There was an IV bag at her bedside, the end of it securely fastened to her right arm. Her left arm was in a cast and sling. He smiled sardonically at her situation. "I think you're officially checked in," he said.

  She held up the arm with the IV. "They just gave me this because I threw up a lot and they thought I might be dehydrated."

  He smiled at her stubbornness, knowing it would serve her well in forgetting everything she'd seen. "Do you have a ride home?" he asked.

  She'd totally forgotten about a ride. She was so out of it during the panic attack that the ambulance ride seemed like a distant memory. She needed to check her phone but hesitated to drag the IV across the room. "Would you mind handing me that bag?" she asked the doctor.

  He crossed to the oversized windowsill where the nurse had stashed Taylor's purse. She had no idea how she even had her purse in the first place. She wondered if Gina or Bonnie had given it to the paramedic on their way to the hospital. What a freaking blur. Dr. Harlow put Taylor's bag next to her and left the room saying it had been a pleasure meeting her even though the circumstances had been unfortunate.

  Once alone, she dug in her bag until she came up with her phone. She had a few calls and texts from Bonnie and Gina. One of the more recent ones from Gina said that she was in one of the hospital's waiting rooms and would stay there until she heard from Taylor.

  Taylor immediately called her friend.

  "Heyyy," Gina said when she answered.

  "Hey, are you at Sacred Heart?"

  "Yeah, I've been here for two hours."

  "Well just come to my room. I think I'm about to get discharged."

  Gina laughed. "That's easier said than done. I've been trying to go to your room. They're being sketchy about whether or not you're even staying here."

  Taylor glanced at the paperwork the shrink had left on her tray. She thumbed through it until she found something with the hospital's name on it. "Yeah, Sacred Heart," she said. "I'm glad they were being sketchy, though. They told me everything would be classified." She paused. "I'll call a nurse in here to tell them to let you come to my room and call you back with my room number."

  "Okay," Gina said.

  "Hey, Gina, thanks for coming."

  Gina sighed. "Of course."

  The nurse informed Taylor that they wanted her to finish the IV drip before she went running out of there. Her room was on ground level since she was in one of the few truly private rooms in the emergency room area.

  Gina cracked up at the fact that she'd passed right by Taylor's room a couple of hours earlier when she first got there and had gone to use the restroom. "I've been sitting out there getting coughed on for two hours and you were right here?" she said laughing as she entered the room.

  "I can't believe you came," Taylor said.

  "I wouldn't even think of not being here. I knew you wouldn't call your mom, and Bonnie and I were the only two who really knew what happened—"

  Taylor's mom lived in Nashville, but she would have taken a taxi before she called her. It wasn't that Taylor didn't love her mom—because she did. But she was poor, socially rough around the edges (to put it mildly), and would have shown up with Taylor's four younger siblings. Calling her mom hadn't even crossed her mind.

  "That cook knew what happened," Taylor said, calling Gina back to the present.

  Gina could tell by the worried tone of Taylor's voice that she was scared of anyone knowing what happened. "They caught the guy," Gina said. "Well, he turned himself in, but I guess that's the same thing."

  "Are you serious?" Taylor's eyes were huge as she stared at Gina. For some reason, the news sent her reeling. She didn't know whether to be pleased or freaked, but she knew she felt something, her rising heart rate told her that. She wondered why the police hadn't told her. Why had they sat there and asked her all those questions if they had the guy who did it?

  "The police didn't tell me either," Gina said, seeming to read her mind. "I had to go to the station and answer a bunch of questions, and they never once said they arrested anyone. I saw that on the news when I was out there in the waiting room."

  "It was on the news?" Taylor asked, horrified.

  "Of course it was," Gina said. "The news trucks were out there before you even left to go to the hospital."

  "Yeah, I don't remember too much about that."

  "I know. You were in bad shape. I was worried about you. What happened? Did you go into shock or something?"

  Taylor gave her a half smile. "Anxiety attack."

  Gina nodded as if she could see how finding a dead body could do that to someone. Taylor couldn't let go of the subject of the news, even though part of her didn't want to know what had been reported. "They didn't say my name on the news did they?"

  Gina stared into space, trying to remember. She shook her head. "No, I don't think so. No, I'd definitely remember that. They just said the body of a seventeen-year-old girl had been found at a busy Nashville restaurant and that the suspect the police were questioning had turned himself in."

  Taylor covered her ears when Gina said the girl's age. She had no idea how old she was, and had hoped to shelter herself from the details.

  "What's wrong?" Gina asked.

  "I don't think I want to know anything about her," Taylor said.

  Gina sighed and was quiet for a minute. "I'm sorry."

  "It's not your fault. I just think it'll help if I stay oblivious to who she was. It's messed up enough that I saw her like that. I don't think I want to know anything about her."

  Chapter 4

  What happened to your arm?" Gina asked, trying to change the subject. "Did you seriously break it?" She remembered the paramedic prodding at it, but it hadn't seemed like a real problem amidst all the puking and passing out.

  "Yeah, I have to keep this thing on for a month." Taylor lifted the cast out of the sling and Gina looked surprised.

  "I can't believe you broke your arm," she said. "How'd you do it?"

  Taylor remembered falling. She remembered the feel of the dead seventeen-year-old's leg. She cringed inwardly but tried to remain composed for Gina. "I fell," she said. "I tripped over something in the shed."

  Gina reached out and touched her friend's shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said. " I can't believe they have you all hooked up in here." Gina took the IV tube in her hand and gave it a little shake. "I thought I was just gonna show up here and give you a ride home."

  "You are," Taylor said dismissively. "I'm done once the bag's empty. It's just because I puked so much."

  "You puked your guts up," Gina said. They chuckled a little even though they both still felt the heaviness in the room.

  "Does anybody else know about this?" Taylor asked.

  Gina shook her head. "No. I called in sick for your shift tomorrow at Common Grounds, and I didn't even tell them the real reason why. I just said you were sick."

  Taylor was relieved that apparently Gina was thinking straight and looking after her. She didn't even think about her 7AM shift at the coffee shop. She didn't even really remember she had a job.

  "What'd they say?" she asked.

  "I talked to Michael. He said to tell you he hopes you feel better."

  Gina was lying. She'd talked to one of their other co-workers who had tried to guilt her into covering for Taylor. Gina refused, saying she was sick as well.

  "Thanks for not saying anything," Taylor said. "I'm just a little freaked out about people knowing I was the one who found that girl. I'm scared."

  "I know," Gina said. "I would be too if I were you."

  The comment was supposed to make Taylor feel better, but it had the opposite affect. "You don't think he's gonna come hunt me down or anything, do you?"

  "No, no, no, definitely not. I told you he already turned himself in."

  Taylor still didn't know how she felt about that fact. She almost asked Gina if turning himself in should end all of her worrying, but ended up just keeping her mouth shut. She could easily get obsessed with wo
ndering what that guy was thinking, and knew there was no way to predict that anyway.

  It took over an hour for Taylor to get discharged once they started the process. It was nearly 10PM when Taylor was told she could leave. In spite of her insisting that she could walk on her own two feet, an orderly rolled her out of the hospital in a wheelchair and waited for Gina to bring the car around.

  The girls drove straight to their house. It was a three bedroom red brick single-family home in an older subdivision with rolling hills and mature trees. It was a nice enough place that sat atop a hill on a corner. They shared it with one other person, Kent, who was also a co-worker at Common Grounds. He was a manager and would help Taylor out if she needed to take some time off. She was so exhausted as they pulled into the driveway that her only thought was telling Kent she needed the next forever off work.

  He was sitting on the couch when they walked in the door. Not knowing the first thing about what was going on, he shot them a big smile when they opened the door. It quickly faded as he took in their serious expressions. His own face turned quizzical.

  "Who died?" he said. He was only joking around, of course.

  "A seventeen-year-old girl," Taylor said. "I found her body and then I thought I was dying but turns out I was just panicking."

  Kent stared at Taylor with an unreadable expression that Taylor took to mean he didn't know what to believe. They stared at each other for a surreal amount of time. Gina looked on, figuring she should say something, but too tired and out of it to care.

  "I seriously found a dead seventeen-year-old girl," Taylor said. "She looked a lot like me with long blonde hair, and it was such a mind fuck that I fell and broke my arm and had an epic, death-battle panic attack. I just got out of the hospital. Gina was there. She had to talk to the cops too."

  Taylor looked at Gina as if she were just remembering something. "You didn't look at the girl did you?"

  Gina shook her head. "No, you told me not to."

  "Be glad you didn't."

  They fell back into the silent stare again. The sound of Kent clearing his throat broke the silence. "Are you shitting me right now?" he asked.

  "I wish I were," Taylor said. She continued to stare blankly as she kicked off her shoes, crossed the room, sat down her bag and the papers she was holding, and slumped onto the couch. She looked over at him. Their gazes met, and Kent could clearly see the hurt and fragility in her eyes. "I found a dead body today," she said. "I stared at it for a long time. I stared at it for long enough that I can clearly picture details of it when I close my eyes." Tears welled up in her eyes until they were too full. She blinked and several silent drops fell onto her cheeks.

  Kent reached out hug her. "Oh, Tay, I'm so sorry," he said. They had a standard roommate relationship—one where he didn't dote over the girls too much. He patted her a few times, not really knowing how to console females. Gina sat in a nearby armchair, not knowing what to say either.

  Taylor originally thought she wouldn't tell Kent what had happened but the information just fell out of her mouth the instant she saw him, and she felt better for saying it out loud again. "I'm not going to work for like a month," she informed him. "I think I have enough money to make it a month without working. I'm just gonna stay home and freak out a little bit."

  Kent looked at Gina with a concerned expression.

  "Why don't you think about taking a couple of days off instead of a whole month," Gina said. "You might like the distraction."

  "I'll start with a couple of days, then," Taylor said. She looked at Kent as if to ask him if he understood that she wanted to be taken off the schedule at Common grounds for the next few days, and he nodded. "I'm going to bed," Taylor said.

  "I'm not far behind you," Gina said.

  Taylor looked at Kent. "Don't tell a bunch of people, okay? I'm just kind of freaked out about being the one to find it and I don't want too many people to find out about it."

  Kent lifted his phone sarcastically. "Sooo, you don't want me to post it on Facebook?" he asked. He was obviously joking and Taylor could tell by the sweet smile that edged his lips that he got her point. "I'll be out here if you girls need me," he said.

  They went to their separate rooms. Taylor and Gina shared the hall bathroom. Kent got the master suite and attached private bath because he was the only guy. He also paid fifty dollars a month extra—something neither of the girls wanted to do just to avoid sharing a bathroom. Taylor was the first to shower. She grabbed pajamas the instant she went into her room, and went to the shared bathroom for a hot shower.

  She couldn't wait to wash everything off—the smell of puke, the smell of the hospital, the memory of the girl—everything. Taylor took a long shower, washing every inch of her body with soap and hot water.

  Utterly exhausted, she fell asleep with no trouble at all.

  ****

  The next day was weird.

  Taylor slept until almost noon, which meant she got a shit-ton of sleep. Oddly enough, she felt like she could go right back to sleep that afternoon. In spite of all the sleep she got the night before, she took a long nap.

  It was 4PM when Hannah came by. She and Taylor were scheduled to work the same 7-3 shift at the coffee shop, and when Taylor called in sick and then didn't pick up her phone the three times Hannah tried to get in touch, she started to worry.

  Taylor woke up a few minutes before Hannah knocked on the door. "I was just about to text you," Taylor said, opening the door. Hannah looked passed her suspiciously. Kent and Gina were both gone, and Taylor was sitting in a dark house. She was in her underwear and a nightshirt and looked like she'd gone to bed with wet hair.

  "What's up? You sick?" Her eyes immediately went to Taylor's arm. "What happened? Is that why didn't you come to work?"

  Hannah stepped past her without being invited in and preceded to start opening the windows. Taylor cringed a little at how brightly the afternoon sun shone through.

  "You need some fresh air in here."

  "I didn't go to work because I found a dead girl in a storage shed at Pat's."

  Hannah looked back at Taylor with an expression that said she wasn't sure why Taylor would say something like that. Hannah knew she must be joking, but couldn't understand why she thought that was funny.

  "I'm not kidding. There was a dead body in a shed when I worked a gig at Pat's yesterday. It was fresh enough not to stink. I found it and then I freaked out and tripped over my own feet. That's how I broke my arm."

  Hannah turned to stare at Taylor, who was sitting on the couch staring blankly at the coffee table in front of her. She lifted her arm slightly to indicate the broken arm.

  "I think Jason mentioned something about that. It was on the news, but I had no idea you had anything to do with it."

  "That gig we had yesterday was out at Pat's. I went into the shed to look for something and saw her there. I'm a little hazy on everything that's happened since then," she said, still starring straight ahead.

  "I think Jay said her boyfriend turned himself in," Hannah said. "I would have paid more attention if I'd have known you had anything to do with it. I try not to listen to him when he talks about the news."

  "Believe me, I do the same thing," Taylor said. "So depressing. I really wish I could undo everything I saw."

  Hannah sat next to her friend on the couch. Taylor took comfort in the smell of coffee that clung to her after a long shift. Hannah reached out and put an arm around Taylor's shoulders. Not knowing what else to say, she said, "I can't believe it, Tay." She paused. "I'm really sorry that happened. What'd you do when you saw it?"

  Taylor laughed without humor. "I sat there and stared at it like an idiot," she said, "because I couldn't believe what I was seeing and I couldn't make myself look away."

  Hannah had no idea what to say. She imagined being in Taylor's position and knew she would absolutely hate having a memory like that. "You wanna get drunk?" Hannah asked, unable to think of a better solution. "I don't have to work tomorr
ow."

  Taylor smiled. "I'm up for drinking," she said.

  Hannah made Taylor put on something besides her pajamas and the two of them set off to get supplies for an evening at the house. Taylor wanted to get a cup of coffee while they were out, but she couldn't really show her face at Common Grounds since she called in sick. They pulled through Starbucks even though they both felt like a couple of traitors for doing it. They also went to the liquor store to get supplies for making frozen White Russians, Taylor's favorite. Unfortunately, the liquor store didn't have ice cream, which was a key ingredient, so they made a stop at the grocery store. They needed to do that anyway since overeating was a given on a night like this.

  Hannah asked at one point if Taylor wanted to call Molly, or Anne, or any of her other friends to come hang out with them, but Taylor said Gina and Kent would probably be returning home, and she wasn't sure how many people she wanted to tell, anyway. She was reasonably sure that she would end up being honest with her close friends about it. It just seemed natural to share something of that magnitude with the people you know and love.

  It was dinnertime when they finished their errands and Taylor called in an order from her favorite Japanese restaurant on their way home. Noodles and sushi—the ultimate comfort food. Taylor new she'd have a hard time being alone for a little while and was thankful and relieved that Hannah didn't mind hanging out.

  Chapter 5

  Ben had been out of town for the past few days. It was a chilly evening in Nashville—much colder than Miami, which was where he'd been. He didn't really care about the cold, though. He was nice and toasty in the brand new SUV that had been waiting for him at the airport when he touched down. It had all the bells and whistles, and Ben sat in it pushing buttons for several minutes like a kid in a candy store before he drove it home.

  He went to the airport in his pick-up truck, and only found out 24 hours earlier that the new vehicle would be waiting for him when he returned. His old truck was the same one he had when he joined the military years ago. It wasn't even new when he got it in high school and had issues from lying idle in his parents' backyard for so many years.