by Rutter, M J
‘In other news, rock band Seasons of Shame have confirmed that ex Needles frontman Chesney Memoranda will be the new frontman of SOS after Max West resigned and has seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth. Concerns for his wellbeing are evident in his fans, who have set up a twenty four hour vigil outside of his Beverly Hills Mansion. His long term girlfriend and fiancée, Beth O’Hara, declined to comment today as she was questioned about Max’s whereabouts. No one has yet filed a missing person’s report so the LAPD are not looking for him. Have you seen him? Channel Five news wants to know. If you are watching, Max, come home, LA misses you.’
“I think he was abducted by aliens, man,” the server frowned turning towards Kaden, “Is this all you want?”
“No, I’ll take a box of Baby Ruth bars if you have them,” I stated.
“A whole box?” he asked.
“Yes, I’m hungry.” I smiled.
“Sure,” he shrugged and lifted a box onto the counter, “you got some I.D.?”
“Yep,” I sighed and showed him my driver’s licence. “Okay?”
“That’s twenty-seven-seventy-five.”
“Thanks,” I placed a fifty on the counter and he handed me the change.
I tossed my beers and candy bars in the trunk on top of my guitar where it had remained since I got the car. Glaring at it gave me a stark reminder of how I knew something was wrong; my hands wouldn’t play the guitar the way I wanted them to. To cover up my bad playing, I blamed it on drink and drugs and the band fell for it. No one knew the truth, only my doctor and he knew I would sue his ass if he ever told anyone about me.
Once back at the house I carried my stuff inside and locked the door. Put on the TV and found a movie, not that it was any good, but I did not want to watch the music channels and have it bring back old memories.
I couldn’t believe it had been a week and they had found someone to replace me already. Braden’s cousin was an excellent player, but he couldn’t sing, not in my opinion anyway. This was why Needles had let him go after only a few months. As for Beth, I told her to move out because I was selling my house, why was she still hanging around there?
I was warned about dating groupies and I’d had my fair share. Suddenly I am dating celebs though nothing was ever serious. Some girls forgot who they were, where they had come from and cared more about their image than anything. In short, I was sick of their fake lives, but when a reality TV star started showing an interest in me, of course, I jumped at the chance. I did feel something for her; she was stunningly beautiful with a super model figure and her own money. So, I knew she wasn’t with me to see what she could get, aside from a little more exposure, Beth never really asked me for anything. I guess she was loyal and put up with all of my stupid shit, still I can’t say that I was truly in love with her.
When I was diagnosed I almost told her, she would have been the first person I told, but I think if I actually said it out loud, then it was real and I would then be a victim and I didn’t want it to control me, eat me alive like it did my father. I didn’t want it to be real. This was better, no one would know what I had, I would die and my body would be discovered and no one would truly know that I had the terrifying disease known as Multiple Sclerosis. It would not take over my life and become a part of who I was, it would not control my mind until I had no control of anything anymore. No, and I would not let it win. This was better, to disappear was better than the alternative. I drank a few beers and allowed the bubbles to take me away.
Three
Skylar
Misty was yapping at the door, I woke sharply and the early morning sun shone through my shades. I slipped my feet into my flip flops and opened the bedroom door so that I could let her out.
I hovered by the door and waited for her to come back in, but not Misty, she decided to make a run for the beach and so that I didn’t disturb my neighbours yelling at her, I chased after her.
“Misty,” I yelled as I chased her up the beach. “Misty, get back here.” The sand felt cool under my feet and the early sea mist gave me a little camouflage, but I felt and idiot running after a dog wearing nothing by my short pajamas. “Misty, come here now,” she just ran chasing the sea gulls who were making the most of the deserted beach and looking for scraps of food. “Misty, will you just get over here.”
“You really have no control over that mutt, do you?” a voice said from behind. I turned to see the man from the day before wearing shorts and nothing else. I gazed over his finely tweaked chest, his muscles lining his abdomen and the thin line of hair disappearing below the waistband of his shorts. I tore my eyes back up to his face, he almost smirked and my hackles rose. I crossed my arms over my chest praying that nothing had fallen out during my run.
“Did I wake you?” I asked tartly. “If you are going to use the beach for a bedroom, you have to appreciate that you may get a dog or a sea gull pecking at your sore head.”
“Just because I fell asleep on the beach yesterday, doesn’t make it my bedroom,” he retorted. “However, I am staying in that house,” he pointed to my neighbour’s, “and your constant yelling is grinding on my last nerve. It’s barely six and you are running after that stupid mutt and yelling her name when in fact, if you actually had control over her, she wouldn’t have ran away from you in the first place.”
“I’m sorry I woke you, but I will not apologise for my dog, she is a lovely animal and I would like it if you stopped referring to her as a mutt.” I barked.
“Are you going to stop yelling?” he frowned, God his eyes were amazing.
“Are you going to stop being an asshole?” I demanded.
“I asked first.”
“No, not until she comes inside.”
“Then my answer is no too, not until hell freezes over.” He turned to walk away, “I am going back to bed, and I strongly suggest you take that mu… dog to obedience classes.”
“And I strongly suggest you get some ear plugs and a new attitude, Silver Bay has no room for bad tempered assholes like you.” I scorned.
“Thanks for the warning,” he snapped. “Nice PJ’s.”
“You’re welcome, and thanks,” I snapped back. “Misty, here now,” I demanded and she trotted over to me. “Way to go, you upset the new neighbour and now he hates me.” I muttered taking her collar and pulling her inside. “He thinks you need obedience classes, maybe he’s right. Looks like its summer school for you, young lady.” I sighed and kicked the front door closed behind me.
Instead of going back to bed I took a shower and got dressed, I then had some cereal and opened my laptop. Stupidly, I began searching for local obedience classes for Misty, maybe Mr. Bad Mood was right, and she had sort of got away with a lot. I just felt so bad after rescuing her, that I didn’t want to be mean to her. But anger began to writhe, why was I allowing some pig headed jerk tell me how to look after my own dog?
I slammed the laptop shut and stood from the table. I washed up my dish and decided that I needed to go into town if anything, to get away from Mr. Bad Mood next door.
“Come on, Misty; let’s go to the pet store.”
She followed me out to the car and as I glanced up, Mr. Bad Mood was doing some kind of Yoga. Something I knew a lot about since I took it for three years. Watching him pose and move, made my cheeks warm, he looked like a Greek God. He began moves I had never seen before, well, maybe on a Martial Arts movie, but the fluidity of his moves were captivating and before I realized it, he glanced up and caught me watching him. Red faced and glowing, I tore my eyes away and climbed inside of my car. Switched the engine on, opened the roof and sped out of the driveway.
Marco’s Pet Supplies allowed dogs into the store. So Misty and I walked the aisles and filled a cart with dog treats, flea shampoo and a few new noisy toys. I figured if he was angry at us now, wait until she chewed constantly on a noisy, squeaky toy. I don’t know what it was about him; his arrogance and his bad temper really annoyed me. But I also couldn’t get his ocean blue eyes
out of my head, or that perfect body. Why did he have to be hot? Why couldn’t he be as ugly as his apparent heart?
After shopping we stopped in town at Rosie’s Café and sat on a seat under an umbrella in the sun, sipping a cool glass of soda, while Misty lapped at a bowl of water.
“Hi, Skylar,” Zoe, the waitress smiled, “Misty, you’ve grown so much since I last saw you,” she added petting her.
“Hi, Zoe, how are you?” I asked. Zoe was Jay’s sister, we were once very close, but since his death the family had pulled away from me, forgetting their promises at his funeral of always being there when I needed them. She co-owned Rosie’s, but rarely worked there, so it surprised me to see her as a waitress again.
“I’m actually okay, had a rough patch, can’t believe it’s been almost three years since.”
I frowned and nodded, “I know,” I swallowed my emotion trying to get that fateful day out of my head. Too late, it was there and Jay’s gorgeous face filled my memories once more.
“Sorry, of course you know,” she placed her hand on my shoulder. “Mom asked after you last night, maybe you could drop by and see her some time.”
“Now summer is here, I will certainly drop by; I have weeks and weeks of nothing to do.” I admitted.
“Great, let me get you a re-fill.”
“No, I need to go, Misty hasn’t been fed yet.” I lied and stood from my seat. “I’ll see you soon, Zoe.”
“Sure, take care, okay?” she smiled with tears in her eyes. I nodded and hurried away.
Driving back to my house I thought about the night Jay and I met. His dusty blond hair needed a cut and his deep pools of blue eyes captivated me. We had gone on a pre-school night out at the end of the summer and he was playing pool in the bar we had all descended in on. Vanessa put some money into the juke box and we danced the night away. When I left later that night, as I drove out of the car lot, I ran right into the back of a truck. When the driver came to see if I was okay, it was Jay and I fell for him instantly. He was my first real love and likely to be my last, which I was okay with. You only get that perfect love once in your life and I accepted that my chance had gone.
I had to pass the lake where Jay’s car crashed. I passed it every day and some days I would stop, others I would drive by, today I chose to stop. I left Misty in the car and walked to the wooden fence that overlooked the water. The fence was new, it wasn’t there the night Jay’s car spun out and crashed into the lake, dragging him to the bottom where he struggled to get free, but because his foot was trapped under the gas pedal, he drowned.
I thought he had gone on his road trip, I thought he was already in Delaware when they told me what had happened. I’d had a whole morning of being normal, feeling pissed at him because of our fight and all along he was already dead. The witness to the accident, Jon Hammond, had dived in and tried to pull Jay free, but ran out of air, so surfaced and waited for the police and paramedics to arrive. Jay was twenty seven and had never even left North Carolina, now he was gone and my heart was shredded.
I gripped the fence and dug my nails into the wood, feeling it press against the tips of my fingers. Sometimes it would work and the tears wouldn’t come, but that day it poured out of me and my bleeding heart, that day I allowed it to flow from my body, three years since his death and it still felt like it happened yesterday.
I sobbed for what felt like an hour before I let the fence go and walked back to my car. My fingers tingled back to life as the blood rushed through them. I pulled open the door and climbed in, Misty, my loyal friend, licked my face of tears and pushed her head under my chin to hug me.
“I’m okay,” I sniffed and started the engine as she climbed into the back seat. I drove home and as I lifted the bags from the trunk I became aware of someone standing behind me.
“Are you Skylar Reynolds?” Mr. Bad Mood asked.
“Yes,” I stiffened and turned to face him. He was wearing a light blue plaid shirt, open, exposing his tanned chest again and faded cut-off jeans, his hair covered legs looked like they needed a tan, but at the same time, amazing, as I rolled my eyes intrusively over his body.
“These arrived for you,” he held out a bunch of flowers towards me, “the uh, guy didn’t know what to do with them and I thought I would make amends be taking them in for you.”
I took the flowers from him, “Thank you,” I tried to smile, but my hackles were already rising.
“My name is Kaden, by the way.” He added humbly.
“Kaden, I have never heard that name before.” I smiled nervously.
“Well, I suppose Skylar isn’t exactly a common name either.”
“No, I suppose not.” I agreed. “Thank you for taking these in, though I have no idea of who would send me flowers.”
“I would have thought it was your boyfriend,” he said raising his eyebrows, I gazed into his eyes and realized what he was implying.
“I um, I don’t have a boyfriend… would you excuse me? I need to go and um… feed my dog.” I stated and hurried inside.
Misty followed me in and as I got to the kitchen I looked at the card. The flowers were from Jay’s parents, Ivy and Henry with a simple card saying, ‘Thinking of You’. I picked up the phone and dialed their number.
We talked for about an hour, Ivy asked how work was and what I had been up to, if I had met anyone else and if I was happy. Of course I hadn’t met anyone else, I wasn’t looking. I got my chance at love and now I had to face life alone until I could meet Jay again. After I convinced her I was okay, I hung up the phone and filled instantly with guilt for how I spoke to Kaden. He didn’t deserve my sharp tongue.
After putting the flowers into water, I shut Misty inside and hurried over to apologise to Kaden for my bluntness. I knocked on the glass front door and waited. I peered inside and saw him stand from the couch, as he walked towards me it was as if he was drunk, he staggered and bumped into the telephone table knocking over a vase.
“Shit!” he snapped. I stepped back, I didn’t want to talk to him if he was drunk.
“It’s okay, I’ll come by another time,” I said and began to turn.
“No, I’m fine,” he said pulling the door open. “How can I help?”
“Have um, have you been drinking?” I asked.
“No, I was sleeping, I get a little disorientated when I wake up too quickly.” He explained.
“Oh,” I half smiled, “I’m sorry I woke you.”
“For the second time today,” he added.
“Yes. I am just going to let you get some rest…”
“Skylar, I am fine, please, come inside.” I gazed over his shoulder at the inside of the house, I couldn’t see any bottles anywhere. “I am not drunk, just a little dizzy.”
“Okay,” I nodded and stepped inside. As I passed his body I could smell his amazing cologne, it reminded me of Jay, but then I hadn’t been in male company for so long, I guessed any aftershave would remind me of Jay.
“Would you like something to drink, I have cranberry juice?”
“Sure, thank you.” I smiled slightly and fumbled nervously with my fingers.
“Take a seat on the deck and I will bring the drink out to you.” He grinned.
What the hell was I doing in this house? He was a stranger, we’d spoken three times and two of those were yelling matches. I wandered through the spotlessly, clean living room out on to the deck and sat on a seat. For a guy alone, he sure had a nice home. White leather couches, a huge glass coffee table and a TV mounted to the wall.
As I waited I could hear Misty barking; obviously she wasn’t as good at home alone as I thought she was.
“I didn’t know if you wanted ice, but it’s pretty hot out here so… well, I put some ice in for you,” he said as he placed two glasses down on the table. One of his hands was shaking, now I knew he was either nervous or drying out, any fool could see that. He wiped the juice from the back of his hand and sat opposite me.
“Thanks,” I muttered and lifted t
he glass of juice to my lips. Its bitter taste tingled in my mouth causing it to salivate. “So, Kaden, is this a summer visit or are you here to stay?”
“You are pretty nosey, aren’t you?” he smiled. “I am renting this house for six months.”
“It gets pretty cold here in the winter,” I warned.
“It does in California too,” he stated.
“Is that where you are from?” I asked.
He smiled again, “No, I am from Kansas, but I live in LA.” He answered and lifted his juice to his lips. He sipped it and placed it back on the table. “I mean, lived in LA, I don’t anymore.”
“I have lived here my whole life,” I admitted. “It’s okay for a small town, at least I know everyone here, well, almost everyone.” I could feel my cheeks warm as I spoke.
“So, is this just you being neighborly or…?”
“Oh, yes, about earlier, I didn’t mean to snap, it’s a bad day. My uh, well, I lost someone a few years back and the anniversary is almost here, the flowers are from his parents.”
“So it was someone pretty special?” he questioned.
“My uh, my fiancé,” I nodded and sipped my juice quickly, the ice cubes hit my teeth. “He died in a road traffic accident.”
“I’m sorry, that must be pretty painful for you.” He furrowed his dark eyebrows together.
“We had a fight the night before it happened, stupid pre-wedding stuff and well, you never know that the last time you see someone is actually the last time you will ever see them, do you?”
“I guess not,” he sighed.
“Do you um, do you work?” I asked changing the subject.
“No, I am guessing you are a teacher though,” he grinned.
“Second grade,” I nodded. “What did you used to do?”
“Nothing much, I have rich parents.” He shrugged, but something told me he was lying. I drank about half of my juice and stood.
