by Rutter, M J
“She’s nice,” Parker said, I spun around to him and frowned, what the hell would he know? His motto was find them, fuck them and forget them and he did plenty of that.
“She is one of the most amazing women I have ever met,” I agreed, “and then you lot get here and cause a shit storm. I am here as me, Kaden Wright, you remember him, Skip, the kid who walked into your office with a second hand guitar on my back and a book of songs? You put us together, you changed me into Max West and I changed me back. Max is gone, get over it.” I barked and walked towards my house.
“Aren’t you going to at least invite us in for coffee?” Beth asked.
“You can come in, but I don’t have any coffee, caffeine is bad for you, remember and it stains your teeth if I remember it right.” I replied with her words that she used on me every time I got up after a drinking binge and drank coffee. I left the front door open and sat on my couch. Why did they have to come? Skylar and I were getting on famously well and now it was most likely over because they turned up and ruined everything.
“So,” Beth said standing in front of me. “You never told me your real name was Kaden.” I looked up to her, she’d had her hair lightened again and I could see she had recently had her teeth whitened also, they almost looked radioactive.
“No, because I never let anyone know the real me.” I sighed and glanced over at Skylar’s house.
“Except for Skylar.” She frowned.
“No,” I admitted. “I told you it was over.”
“And I thought that it was just like the last time, that you’d get clean and come back. I didn’t realize you meant it.” I looked at her, “I also thought that maybe I meant something to you, obviously I got that wrong too.”
“You know what we had wasn’t real, it was all about fame for you, it always has been.”
“Not always,” she sighed and sat on the arm of the couch.
“Well, you really set the bar on this dump.” Skip announced as he walked into the living room closely followed by Parker.
“I like it,” Parker added and walked towards the French doors. “Who wouldn’t want to wake and see that every morning?” I glanced over at whatever it was he was looking at and saw Skylar on her deck. She saw Parker, turned around and hurried back inside. He turned and saw that I had seen what he was looking at or rather who, “Of course, I meant the ocean view.”
“So, let me get this right, you have given up your rock star life for this, a life of sitting around watching the ocean day in and day out?” Skip grumbled.
“Yes, I can’t do that anymore, be that anymore,” I affirmed. “You have a new guy, the band will continue to be as good without me.”
“Huh!” Parker snapped. “We are over, man, if you don’t come back then that’s it, SOS is gone. No one likes the asshole Braden picked and we have all decided that if you leave, then SOS should break up and go our separate ways. If this really is over for you, then its over for all of us.”
“I’m sorry but this has to be.” I confirmed.
“And what if I said that I was going to sue your ass for breaking your contract?” Skip asked, “Do you think your neighbor will still be interested in you if I take everything you have?”
“You know what? Yes, I think she will because she never asked for a thing, not once. She is honest and sincere and kind, I think Skylar would still want me even if I was begging on the streets.”
“You will be once I’ve finished with you, you ungrateful piece of shit.” He snarled.
“Do it, take anything you want. I don’t care.” I shrugged.
“You are in love with her,” Beth accused.
“I like her a lot,” I corrected.
“No, its love, you have never looked at me the way you do her.” She stood from the arm, “I’m leaving. This is a wasted trip, I’ll let the other band members know, SOS is over.” She then turned to me. “I hope you are happy with what you have done.”
“You know what, Beth, for the first time in years I am truly happy.”
“You might be happy,” Skip added as he followed her, “but you will also be broke.” He then smiled sadistically, “Broke, but not completely off the grid.”
“You wouldn’t,” I frowned.
“Watch me, Max West may have left the band, but Kaden Wright will never have a life again. I am telling the world we have found you and that it’s confirmed, you are the biggest dick to ever walk on two legs.”
“If you do,” I panicked, I couldn’t stay there now.
“Don’t threaten me, you are nothing to me now, asshole.” He growled and left.
Parker walked towards me, “Parker,” I pleaded.
“No, Max, I mean uh, whatever, no, I never thought my best friend would ruin my whole career over some chick.”
“It’s not like that,” I heaved a sigh.
“Then what is it, because I, as sure as shit have no fucking clue of what is going on in that skull of yours?”
“You wouldn’t understand.” I grumbled feeling backed into the corner.
“Try me,” he frowned.
“I uh… I can’t man.”
“You said on the phone that you were sick, is it true?”
“I can’t tell you because I don’t trust you anymore. You bought them here.”
“She was with me the night you called. She heard everything, so yeah, she wanted to see the gutless asshole who dumped her over the phone. She had a right to know what is going on.”
“If I tell you, you can’t tell a soul and if you do, I would deny all.” I warned.
“You have my word,” he agreed.
“I have MS.” There, I said it.
“What?”
“I’m sick with a disease called Multiple Sclerosis and other than my doctors, no one knows.”
“Well, is it terminal?” he asked.
“It’s not like cancer, but it’s a disease that attacks the brain and most of your bodily functions. It killed my father and I know it will kill me.”
“I don’t know what to say,” he sighed.
“Nothing, there is nothing anyone can say, but I value our friendship enough to tell you the truth.”
“Does she know?” he asked nodding towards Skylar’s house.
“No, I told you, No one else knows, I haven’t told her.” I frowned jamming my hands into my pockets. “I am not going to tell her either.”
He thought for a few moments and his face softened. “I’ll take them to the hotel and I will come back, we need to talk, man, I feel bad, I had no idea.” He moaned.
“Parker, its fine, really,” I insisted. “I need to talk to Skylar, we’ll catch up though. When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow afternoon, we have a ticket for you, so if you decide to come home, call me and we’ll swing by and pick you up.”
“Thanks, man, for everything.” He hugged me briefly and left. I didn’t know what I was going to tell Skylar and if she would even believe me. Why would she?
I removed my tie and pulled my shirt from the waistband of my pants before heading over to see her. Of course I expected her to be angry and upset, slam the door in my face even, but when I knocked the door and she answered, my heart hit the floor. It was gone, what we had, whatever it was, was gone. Her paled face and glaring eyes took me back to that day I yelled at her for the dog pouncing on my chest while I slept on the beach.
Staring at me with no feeling in her empty, the lights are on but no one is home, eyes pinched my soul. I had done more than not tell her who I was, I had destroyed her trust and now she thought everything we had was a lie. Why would she believe me now?
“Are you okay?” I asked her as silently she led me inside.
“Do I look okay?” she asked back angrily as she spun around to face me.
It through me off, “I uh, I just wanted to explain…”
“Explain what? That you are an asshole and a jerk? Knew that already, that you have anger issues and you are stubborn, yep, knew that too. What I
didn’t know was the man who had taken me to bed, screwed me on the beach and in the sea, that the man who told me to trust him, taught me to take chance, who stole my heart, that man is a fucking liar.” She roared. “Lied about who he was, where he was from, what he did for a living, that he was actually so famous that kids walk around where shirts with his face on them. I bet you thought it was funny, that I was so stupid not to realize.” She snarled.
“No, never,” I frowned.
“Then why lie, Kaden? Why? Am I that low that you would rather lie about who you are so as not to dent your reputation?” I shook my head, “Guess what, according to Google you are a bad mouthed, party hard asshole who walked out on his band with not so much as a reason why.”
“You wouldn’t understand.” I sighed.
“That is the only thing you got right today,” she nodded. “You got angry with me over referring to you as my neighbor and all along I am standing there in a church with a freaking rock star who lied his way into my pants.” She crossed her arms over her chest. Nothing I could say would change this fact, but I was not going to walk away without at least trying.
“The only lie I told you was about my job. My real name is Kaden Wright, I am twenty-six, my birthday is in August, I do have a mother who collects wedding rings and a brother in Hong Kong.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t think it was important, because that part of my life is over, gone for good. I thought it was irrelevant.”
“Until your band mates and fiancé arrive on your doorstep,” she retorted.
“I was upset a while back and called Parker, he is my best friend, I told him not to tell them where I was. It’s not my fault he didn’t listen.”
“Why did you leave them in the first place?” she demanded. “I don’t understand how you could walk away from everything you had to this, to me?”
“I wanted time out, you were a bonus,” I smiled slightly, she looked away.
“Please, Skylar…”
She turned her head to look at me, “I think it’s time for you to leave,” she frowned.
“Skylar, we can…”
“There is no we, Kaden, I can’t trust you, you lied to me and nothing you say now will mean a thing, whatever it was that we had, is now over.” I stared at her, she swallowed and never took her eyes off mine.
My heart began to shred with every beat, thudding agonizingly in my ears. If I told her now, told her about the MS, she would pity me and I would rather walk away than allow her that power.
“If that’s what you want,” I managed.
“Yes, it is,” she swallowed again and though I wasn’t completely convinced, I turned around and walked away.
I didn’t close the door behind me and instead of going to my house, I walked around the side of her house to the beach and continued towards to sea. Once I was pretty close to the water’s edge, I allowed my legs to collapse under me and I flopped down onto the sand. That’s where I stayed until the sun set taking my weary soul with it.
Skylar
Fifteen
I closed the door and watched as he disappeared around the side of the house. I turned my back, pressing it against the door and allowed my legs to slide from under me, Kaden and I were over and the pain because of it was unbearable.
I lifted my knees under my chin and folded my arms around my legs, buried my face in my lap and sobbed, sobbed like a baby. Losing Jay hurt, hurt like nothing I had ever felt before, but this pain was ten times worse. I couldn’t understand why he had lied to me, made me look a fool. I had fallen so completely in love with him, I honestly didn’t know how I would cope with this ache or the emptiness I already felt, it smothered me like a blanket of excruciating pain.
The phone ringing out in the empty house disturbed me, I sniffed and wiped my tears with a shaking hand, climbed to my feet and headed towards the telephone.
“Hello?” I frowned.
“Skylar, its Nessa, is everything alright?”
“Yes, why?” I lied.
“It’s all over the news.”
“What is?” I had no idea what she was talking about.
“That guy you’re dating, he is the rock star Max West, did you know?”
Oh my God, it was out there, everyone would know I was a fool now. “We all have a secret or two, right?” is all I could muster. “I’m um, I’m going away for a while, so I need to pack. Have a safe trip home and thank you for inviting us today, it was lovely, you are very lucky.” Before she could say a word I hung up the phone.
I hurried up the stairs to my room and pulled my suitcase from my closet. I packed as many clothes as I could and hurried down the stairs. I called the vet and told them I was collecting Misty early and hurried to my car.
I couldn’t be certain, but someone was parked at the end of the drive and I could have sworn he took a picture of me with his cell phone. I slammed my trunk closed and sped out of the driveway. Heading towards town and stopping at the vets to collect a very happy Misty, I had no clue as to where I would go.
I drove towards Zoe’s house the other side of town, wondering if she knew where we could go to get away from everything including the media frenzy that was about to hit the sleepy town of Silver Bay.
“You could go to our summer house in Charlotte, no one here knows where it is, Mom and Dad are going on a cruise to the Caribbean this summer, so you’ll be away from everyone.” She explained.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Of course,” she shrugged placing a cup of coffee in front of me. “How is Misty doing?”
“She’s much better, we honestly thought we were going to lose her.” I explained.
She stared for a while, I guess she was thinking about the ‘we’ thing. “He sounds amazing, Skylar, are you sure you don’t want to wait around and see how it goes?”
“I know how it goes, he is famous, I was just a fling and now he’ll go back to his life in LA and I will be a dirty little word. You should have seen how his fiancé glared at me.” I frowned.
“Ex-fiancé,” she corrected. “It’s been all over the news, she is not happy that he left and apparently found someone else.”
“Yes, well, it’s over,” I shrugged sipping my coffee.
“That’s a shame because for the first time since Jay died, you actually looked alive.” I looked at her. “You have been a shell, Skylar and its heart breaking because I know my brother would want you to be happy.”
“Happy, yes, lied to, no.”
“Okay, so say he told you who he was, would you have given him a chance?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted, “probably not if I’m honest, because they are not real are they, celebs aren’t real people are they?”
“Of course they are, they still pee and eat and they still get their hearts broken. I expect he is pretty upset too.”
“That’s his problem,” I snapped and stood from her kitchen table. “Shall I go to your mother’s for a key or…?”
“No,” she sighed and stood, she pulled a drawer open and handed me a key. “How long are you going away for?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” my eyes began to sting as they filled with tears, “I’ll be in touch.”
“Okay,” she nodded and hugged me, “please think about this, it’s easy to run away, but to work it out, that takes real courage.” I could see what she was getting at, but at that moment I was not going to listen.
Misty and I hit the road after she had given us the address and a list of instructions. As we hit the town limits the sky clouded over and I felt a little relief that we were leaving it all behind. I knew I would take most of what happened with me and wear yet another scar on my heart. It’s seemed I would either have to spend my life alone or suffer more scars from men who couldn’t seem to get their shit together.
By the time we arrived at the summer house that belonged to Jay’s family, the sun was already setting and I had decided it would be better if I spent the
rest of my life alone, build that wall around my heart again to protect it.
I pushed open the door and was relieved to see it had been completely renovated. The walls and furniture had all been updated since I was there last, where the huge soft brown couches were, now sat cream colored couches of leather. The wooden beams on the ceiling were also gone as was the floral wallpaper. The walls were now covered in a light colored paint and the ceiling was white. The old oak kitchen had been updated to a white and light green one and there was also a new swimming pool in the back yard. We may not have had the ocean, but at least we could still swim.
We settled down for the evening as the day’s events began to unravel in my mind and piece by piece, tiny shards of my heart broke away, leaving an ache in my soul and emptiness inside I knew nothing would ever be able to fill again. Kaden Wright may have ruined my life, he had certainly destroyed my heart.
After a bottle of wine and sobbing into a box of tissues, I cuddled into Misty and eventually drifted off to sleep. I woke when she barked, feeling groggy and heavy headed, I pushed off the covers and headed to the bathroom. While I showered memories of Kaden filled my mind and as the water pelted against my aching body, more tears came. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, missing him, I couldn’t stop loving him and the more I tried, the harder it was.
I remembered the day after I had identified Jay’s body. How I didn’t think the pain would ever stop, that I would never stop missing him and loving him. I knew that it would be no different with Kaden, I seemed to have had my second chance of love and now it was gone. Why did I fall so completely so quickly. I never seemed to learn. I fell for Jay the second he smiled at me after smashing into the back of his truck, the moment his eyes met mine and he asked if I was okay, I fell in love with him. For Kaden, if I am honest it’s when he told me he liked my pajamas that morning. Only I was being so hot headed, trying to come across as a hard and in control woman, how I wished I had stayed that way now. I had allowed him in to my soul and now it felt like it had shredded and I had no idea as to how to fix it.
