by V. Moody
“Wait,” said Jenny. I immediately had a bad feeling. “You were inside the jabberwock, right?”
Kungen turned back to face her, with me clinging on. “Only for a few seconds.”
“But you didn’t die, and then it spat you out. If we get it to swallow you again, maybe it will cough up your brother.”
Kungen nodded. “Yes. Yes, that could work.”
Jenny ran towards him. “Everyone, over here.” They all ran towards us. “Now jump!”
They all began jumping up and down like they were in a very low budget hip-hop video.
“What are you idiots doing?” I screamed. I didn’t know what her plan was, but I had a pretty good hunch it wasn’t a good one. “Stop jumping.”
“Keep jumping,” said Jenny. “If we make enough of racket, it won’t be able to tell Kungen’s with us. It’ll attack thinking it’s just a tasty group of people.”
How was that a good thing? “Yes, and then it will eat us.”
“That’s okay,” said Jenny, “once it realises it has Kungen in its mouth it’ll spit us out again. You saw when it opened its mouth. It doesn’t have any teeth. We’ll be fine.”
They all continued to bounce in a tight knot around Kungen.
“No,” I said. “We won’t. Do you understand how teeth work? It makes the food smaller, so the acid in the stomach finds it easier to digest. Because stomach acid tends to be quite weak, otherwise you would digest yourself. It didn’t have any teeth, which means it doesn’t need help digesting, probably because it has industrial strength gastric juices like Alien.”
I should point out I am not a zoologist. Nor am I a xenoarcheologist. Just in case you were wondering.
“But Kungen’s fine.”
“Kungen’s skin is made of granite. Yours is made of sugar and spice, and acid will melt your face off.”
This seemed to give her pause for thought, but whatever conclusion she might have come to was rudely interrupted by the giant worm that shot out of the ground.
Everyone instinctively stopped jumping.
The jabberwock swayed slightly. Its head was high up and bobbing around. It must have known where we were, but maybe it also knew Kungen was with us and didn’t want to ingest him again.
“Now!” shouted Jenny. “Run!”
She grabbed hold of Kungen’s arm and started running. The others grabbed whatever part of Kungen they could and joined in.
The jabberwock didn’t attack. Whether it wasn’t sure about the ingredients headed its way or just confused because no one had ever run towards it before, I couldn’t say. Either way, I found myself running alongside too. If I got separated from the group I’d be the easiest one to pick off.
The jabberwock made its move. It swooped down and peeled open its mouth, coming down on the group and hoovering them all up. I say them because at the last moment I dived to the side, in quite a cool roll that brought me back to my feet. Shame no one saw it.
The plan was for the jabberwock to swallow Kungen. Mission accomplished. If no one else thought to jump out of the way, that was hardly my fault.
I turned to see the jabberwock slithering back into its hole, but the retreat stalled and the head, which had once more closed up, began swinging from side to side. A few seconds later it opened and a short gush of liquid was followed by a number of bodies.
My five teammates flopped on the ground moaning and writhing, covered in gloop.
The jabberwock continued to thrash about, and then ejected a stream of foul smelling fluid that bubbled as it spread out on the ground, along with a number of carcasses in various states of decomposition. Among them was a large boulder-like figure, skin peeling and showing dark flesh underneath.
Keezy rolled onto his hands and knees and slowly rose to his feet, struggling to keep his balance.
The jabberwock again rose into the air and opened its mouth, this time emitting a piercing shriek. Then it fell flat and flaccid, releasing one last dribble containing Kungen curled into a ball.
Keezy stumbled and staggered towards his brother, lifted him to his feet and embraced him.
The others all got up. They didn’t seem to have suffered any serious injuries, they were just covered in a lot of slime. They looked around at each other and started laughing.
Keezy and Kungen came over, arms around shoulders, each supporting the other. Keezy looked the worse, his skin burned away in numerous spots and large chunks missing completely. Kungen looked practically good as new, like someone had gone over his body with a pumice stone. I noticed the knob of brass had fallen out of his shoulder leaving a small cavity.
The all laughed and clapped each other on the back in matey fashion, an adventure shared, although not by me in this case. I wandered over to the bodies lying around, many still fizzing. One looked like a small dog with half its head missing.
There was a rumble under me, so strong I nearly lost my footing. The ground was ripped open and two more jabberwocks thrust out of the earth and rose with stunning speed to tower over us. They were huge, bigger than the one lying dead, and they looked pissed. I can’t say how, since they didn’t have any features, but it was definitely the vibe they were giving off.
Kungen pushed Keezy back and put himself between the worms and us.
“Run!” Kungen shouted. “I’ll do what I can to hold them off.”
But the worms didn’t attack. They sort of looked at each other (again, hard to explain since they had no eyes) and then retreated into the ground even faster than they had emerged.
Kungen looked confused. Keezy slapped him on the back. “They fear you brother. They are running away. Run you curs! The Worm King protects us now!”
I’m not sure ‘Worm King’ was much of a title, or that it made much sense since Kungen wasn’t a worm, but he was clearly no longer the worthless waste of space he had considered himself. Having both him and Keezy owing us their lives and safe passage back to Flatland would make things a bit easier. Probably.
I bent down and picked up something glittering at my feet. It was a small lump of brass. I put it in my pocket. Not that I’d need it. Probably.
11. Heroes Of Myth And Legend
The atmosphere was one of relief and jubilation. We had gone up against an indomitable foe and won. Or rather, they had.
I considered their actions to be incredibly stupid, but there was no doubting their victory.
As I watched them hug each other and laugh about being sucked into the mouth of a giant worm, they looked like heroes. Not the type with muscles and loincloths and big swords. More like the teacher who stands between her kids and a madman with a knife, even though she knows it’ll probably get her killed.
Was this why we were brought to this world? So people like this could band together and save lives in the most ridiculous way possible? It wasn’t so far-fetched. The no-hopers who get their shit together and accomplish amazing things are often the heroes of a story, why not this one?
They still weren’t a team you would call on to save the day unless you had absolutely no other choice, but if you told them what they needed to do, they’d be willing to do it. Because it was the right thing to do.
And the person leading them on this insane path to becoming legends wasn’t me, it was Jenny.
It had been her idea to jump down the jabberwock’s throat and her instructions the other’s had followed without hesitation.
I still had no idea why we had been transported to this world, but perhaps the special ability that really counted wasn’t making fire or healing people, it was the willingness to do whatever it took to save the day.
Whenever I’d had to lead the party into a volatile situation, I’d done so racked with doubts, regretting every decision as soon as I made it. My greatest wish had always been to avoid trouble if I possibly could and go off quietly on my own. I thought Claire would be the one to take over, but maybe her role was to be number two. And Jenny was destined to be number one.
This was good news.
They didn’t need me anymore. But rather than look forward to finally walking away from the group I’d been stuck with since the first day, I felt a bit sad.
With the confidence they’d gain from this success, and their desire to do the right thing, I imagined they would be prepared to take on even greater challenges. Obviously, they’d be dead in under a week.
Actually, maybe now was the perfect time to get out.
“My brother is hurt,” said Kungen, “we need to get him back to the village.”
Keezy did look pretty bad. His raw skin glistened in the dim light. Surprisingly, no one suggested I heal him. Whether they didn’t want me to risk using up more of my life force, or they just forgot I existed, I don’t know.
“Will you be able to walk back?” asked Jenny.
“I shall,” said Keezy. “Nothing will stop me from returning to tell the others the Worm King has come.”
“Will they really be nice to Kungen now he can scare off the big worms?” asked Flossie.
“The Worm King was foretold in prophecy. The one who will reclaim the night. No one really knew what it meant or even if it was anything more than a story to tell children. I certainly never thought it would turn out to be my own brother.” He spoke with great pride and put his arm around Kungen.
Nobody thanked me for making all this possible. Was I mentioned in the prophecy? And lo, an unparalleled scruffbag will emerge from the east and bestow on the Worm King a great power. Make sure you treat the scruffbag poorly and think of him as trash. And so it came to pass…
With Kungen supporting Keezy we headed back to the village. I created a ball of light to show the way. I felt like I should say something, explain my actions back when we were running at the jabberwock and I chose to bail. I had any number of reasons primed and ready to go, some of them even quite valid, but no one mentioned it. Me suddenly bringing it up would have just sounded like I was making excuses. Which would have been accurate.
The village was not the slumbering hamlet we had left. Torches and fires were ablaze and the entire population seemed to be crowded at the boundary. Perhaps they heard the commotion all the way back here and were preparing for a jabberwocky attack.
When they saw us, a hush descended. Furtive looks were exchanged and they were in no hurry to move aside and let us through. Kungen’s presence may have had something to do with it.
The other troll, whose name I still didn’t know, came rushing out of the crowd. He tried to take Kungen’s place but Keezy pushed the troll away.
Keezy, still leaning on his brother, told the gathering what had happened and how Kungen had defeated the jabberwock. The inhospitable glares changed into wonder and surprise. Shocked muttering soon became shouts of joy and celebration.
Keezy also told them about the role Jenny and the others played. The crowd was aghast at the audacity of the rescue plan. The whole party were hailed as heroes. Well, apart from me.
Cries of “Worm King! Worm King!” broke out and the whole thing got a bit chaotic.
I slipped away, which was easily done since no one was paying any attention to me, and found my way back to the tent where I’d been sleeping. It had been a long night and I was exhausted. Not that I’d done much other than conjure up some pretty lights, but I could barely keep my eyes open.
I crawled into the small tent and fell asleep.
When I woke up, I was alone. Not very surprising. I crawled out into bright sunshine with the lake shimmering not very far away. And not much else.
The village had gone. The whole thing—the tents, the shacks, the inhabitants—all gone. As were my party.
I stumbled around a bit. There was no sign of them. And the only indication there’d been a settlement at all were the remnant of a few fires and some vines tied to various branches.
The way they were being treated last night, I didn’t worry too much for their safety. They were with the trolls for a start. And they were saviours of the universe. They were probably at a special after-party for celebs and VIPs.
Still, I did feel a little put out at being left behind. I know, it’s what I’ve always insisted was my goal—to be on my own—but even the lucky guy who finds out he was the only choirboy in the choir not to be sexually abused by the priest will wonder, “Was there something wrong with me?” It’s human nature.
I stuffed thoughts of inadequacy and abandonment into the part of my brain I keep for these matters—always full yet always room for more—and walked down to the water. After I washed and got the world into a slightly clearer focus, I looked around again. I didn’t know how long I’d be on my own (forever?) so scavenging any useful items left behind seemed like a good idea.
It was while I was wandering around the bushes, scanning the ground for anything I could use, that I discovered I was not as alone as I had thought.
Sitting on a crate was a small, dog-like creature who looked kind of familiar.
While it’s probably racist, or speciesist, to suggest everyone with a dog-head looks the same, this one actually did look a lot like May-May, only smaller. Same white and black markings, same terrier-like face.
He had seen me but didn’t seem too concerned. He bounced his heels—they were too hairy for me to tell if they were actual feet or paws—against the box. He gave off the impression of someone slightly bored.
I walked over to him. “Hey. I’m Colin.”
He looked me up and down and didn’t seem too impressed by what he saw. He didn’t say anything.
“Where’d everyone go?” I asked in a friendly tone.
He cocked his head. You’d think he might be more wary of a human, but perhaps he had heard about what happened last night and considered me to be one of the heroes. Then again, maybe he was choosing which bone would be tastiest. Is intimating a dog-person has a thing for bones a sign of prejudice?
I decided to give it one last go. “Are you waiting for someone?”
“I’m waiting for my Da.” When he spoke it became obvious he was very young. Maybe five or six. I’m not sure what that is in dog years. “He’s the best tracker in these parts. And the toughest.” He gave me a look that suggested I better watch myself.
I had a horrible feeling I knew who his Da was and that the kid was in for a long wait. If it was May-May, though, had no one thought to tell him? They just left him out here?
“Your mother around here somewhere is she?”
“My Ma was eaten by a manticore.” He didn’t sound very bothered about it.
“Okay, well, see you around.” It wasn’t my job to inform kids they were now orphans. If leaving a child to fend for himself was how they handled things around here, then I guess this is Sparta! He was probably better equipped to deal with whatever was out here than I was.
I continued foraging and found a branch that I whittled down to something vaguely resembling a spear. I sharpened the end as best I could and made my way back down to the lake.
I waded out until the water was up to my knees. With a little fish-calling magic and some half-arsed spearing I eventually managed to catch breakfast. As I returned to the shore, the kid was standing at the water’s edge watching me. He was probably hungry.
I got a fire going and cooked the fish. The kid stood to the side all puppy-eyed, although that was probably unavoidable. I offered him some of the fish. He darted forward and snatched it from my hand, stuffing it into his mouth like he hadn’t eaten in a week.
“Keep the fire going while I catch some more.”
Yes, he was cute, and it was hard to resist picking him up and patting him on the head, but more importantly he was familiar with life on this side of the border. If I could win his trust there was a lot of useful information I could get out of him. And also I was still hungry since he’d eaten most of my breakfast.
Of course, catching fish isn’t always easy, especially when your homemade spear isn’t of the finest workmanship. Or any workmanship.
“You aren’t very good are you?” The kid had left t
he fire unattended and sat on the bank paddling his feet in the water. “I think the first one was a fluke.”
The fact he was probably right didn’t make it okay to talk to me like that. Kids these day… “What’s your name?”
“Attica.”
“Well, Attica, skills like mine are hard to acquire and even harder to master.” I placed a hand in the water and made various finger movements. The water glowed and a large fish darted towards me. I raised the spear and thrust it into the water, missing him by a good margin. The fish swam off.
If I’d speared it I would’ve looked hella cool. Damn it.
